I am not a pet lover. I mean they are okay, but I already have someone in the house that doesn't pay attention, makes a mess and does not clean it up, and eats me out of house and home. Her name is Lauren. Why would I want a pet?

I won't lie though. I have loved one pet in my life. Her name was Queenie. She was a wiener dog. She was given up by an elderly nun who could not care for her anymore. I think she was about 6 at the time we got her. She was perfectly potty trained. I swear she would hold it for 3 days if you didn't let her out (don't ask me how I know). She would sit with me to watch TV or read a book. She would wait at my feet during dinner just in case my wife served vegetables and I needed to get rid of them. She was the perfect dog. 

And then just like that "she walked out of my life fo'eva". Stupid dog!

Anyway, since then there have been many attempts by Lauren to get a dog. They never work. They never will. I don't care how cute they are.