My heart is in my throat, like a lump that just won't go down. Everything that's happening seems surreal; I don't even know how to describe it. 

The opening of the door to Briana's room grabs my attention. There's chatter coming from the nurses as they rush out of the room, a small group of them pulling Briana's hospital bed along with them.

"What?" I say, mid breath, as I stand from my chair.

Jason emerges from the room, tablet in hand, and begins racing after the army of nurses.

"Jase, what's happening?"

"We have to take her back into surgery. I'll have someone update you soon." He says, turning back to look at me momentarily before carrying on his way.

More surgery? But she just had surgery.

How the human body can handle so much trauma at once blows my mind. Just the emotional trauma of this situation has me all over the place. I hope for Briana's sake she doesn't remember or feel a thing. She is the last person in the world who deserves this.

Briana has always been the strong one, mostly because she knows I'm weak as shit when it comes to emotional things. In the last couple of years, she has been my rock, and I was able to lean on her when I needed to the most. My divorce from Kyle nearly killed me, but Bri was there to pick up the broken pieces. 

Bri has always been there for me. She always listened to my bitch-out sessions, especially when they were on the topic of my failing marriage. Bri - who has never been or plans on getting married - just let me hash it out.

My marriage to Kyle was over before it even started. I married him when I was twenty-six - that should have been an indicator from the get-go. Who the hell, other than Briana, of course, makes rational decisions at twenty-six? Not me! The two of us fought constantly, and about the nit-pickiest things, like which cupboard the cups should go in, or which side of the fridge the milk should be on. We were complete opposites and could barely agree on anything, except for one thing, we liked to have sex, a lot. Sometimes going to work on Mondays was a struggle for me because of how raw I was. I could barely even sit down without cringing in pain. I'm not saying that he wasn't excellent, because he was, but it was just too much too often, even for my liking.

What ultimately ended our marriage was Kyle's hesitation in having kids. We put off the conversation for four years before we talked about it honestly. In the end, he admitted he didn't want them; he thought they were going to be too much work and that there would be less time for us. Learning this about him is what made me realize we could never work. Kids were going to be a part of my future, and if he didn't see himself fitting into that equation, then that was on him. 

Our divorce took over six months to settle, which seemed like a long time for a marriage as short as ours. Thankfully, I was able to seek help from my co-worker at Swanson Dell, where I work as a paralegal. We hashed it out about everything, from the television to the silverware. The only thing Kyle gave up willingly was our townhouse. He thought it was the least he could do for deferring me from the life I truly wanted – his words. So, once things were all settled, I was a free woman, granted, admitting that you're a thirty-one-year-old divorcee isn't as glamorous as it might seem to be.

Over the past two years, Briana has helped rejuvenate my life. Some of her tactics included putting a fresh coat of paint on the walls, buying new furniture, and splurging on a new wardrobe. I definitely would have blown through most of my savings if Bri hadn't chipped in, and when I say chipped in, I mean forked over a decently sized lump sum. 

Bri always says that "if you look like crap, you'll feel like crap;" I never fully understood the meaning behind that message until I separated from Kyle. That last year of our marriage was miserable, to the point of almost walking out with nothing. It was Bri who convinced me to stick around and stand up for what was mine, and thankfully I did. Who knows where I would be now? I'd probably be living in some cheap-ass apartment and have one red wine glass to my name.

I shouldn't rely on Briana as much as I do; she's my go-to for everything. Other than her, I don't have many friends. That's what happens when your ex takes all of your "shared" friends with them in the divorce. For the past two years, I have been living vicariously through her. Hell, I haven't had sex in over a year! I am a one-and-done when it comes to one-night stands. I would much rather get to know a person before jumping into bed with them, literally.

It's time for me to step up and take my proper place as the"big sister." Bri has been filling that role for too long now. She needs me; she needs all the support I can give her. And if that means not leaving this hospital for days, then that's what I'll do.

I've been sitting in the same hallway for over three hours; my entire body is numb, and my breathing hasn't calmed since Briana got wheeled out of her room. I have no idea what's happening. My life has been moving in hyper-speed ever since I arrived at the hospital, and I haven't had the chance to catch up. Every time I hear shoes squeaking on the floor, I begin to panic. I keep expecting Jason to come around the corner with a look of despair on his face. I don't know what I would do if I lost Briana. I would probably die. But I can't think that way. She's a strong woman, and I know that she can make it through this.

I need a distraction. I pull out my phone, hoping to God there is a work emergency in need of my attention. But, of course, there isn't. It's as if the universe is telling me that my focus should remain on Briana, no matter how stressed or uncomfortable I am. Unsure of my actions, I stand, not knowing where I want to go. But as I'm leaning over to grab my bag, Jason's voice pulls me back into my harsh reality.

"Kate?" he calls, softly.

I whip around, causing my hair to fly in every which direction. I look at Jason, impatiently waiting for him to open his gorgeous mouth and tell me what the hell is going on.

"How is she?" I blurt out.

"She's stable, but it's too soon to tell."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, her injuries have worsened. Like I said before, her brain is suffering from a significant amount of trauma. It will take time for the rest of her body to catch up."

I sit down, allowing my body to fold in on itself. I'm living my worst nightmare. Briana is hurt and there is no way I can help. I'm stuck on the sidelines, again, waiting for everything to fall into its destined place. 

I look up at Jason. I can see the hurt in his eyes. It mimics the sorrow our breakup created.

"I don't know what to do, Jason."

"I know it seems like that now, but you'll get through it. We'll get through it."

I try to smile, but it just folds away; I can't be happy right now, no matter how hard I try. 

"The main thing is to be optimistic," Jason begins, "and I'm optimistic that her condition will improve. But it will be a long road and she'll need all the support she can get."

I nod. I have no idea how I'll be able to help her. Briana has always done everything for herself and never accepts help from anyone. I fear that she'll continue to be her stubborn self and not let me in. 

"Can I see her?" 

"No, not now, she's in the ICU recovering. We're most likely going to keep her there overnight, so she has around the clock supervision."

"Oh,"

"You should head home, Kate. It's going to be a long night. Go shower, change and have a rest, and come back in the morning."

"I..." I hesitate. "I can't. I don't know what I'll do if I'm alone. I don't want to be alone right now."

Jason sits in the chair next to me and wraps one of his strong arms around me. On instinct, I lean into him, reclaiming the hold that belonged to me years ago. He still smells the same, which is comforting. I don't want to imagine how I would be if Jason weren't here. The nurses would probably have to sedate me.

"I wish I could escape. I would rather focus on anything else but this."

"You're spiraling, Kate."

How can he sense that, after all this time?

"I know."

"Want to get out of here?" he asks after a moment.