Jason Atkins. Jason freaking Atkins. The same Jason Atkins I lost my virginity to fifteen years ago.

"Jason?"

His name comes out as more of a squeak than an actual sound.

Of course.

"Would you follow us, please?" the nurse chimes in before she begins walking away.

Instantly, I'm transported back fifteen years to the night of my senior prom. Jason, whom I was dating at the time, had just told me he had gotten into the pre-med program at the University of Toronto. I figured we needed to commemorate the night with something. 

Okay, you caught me; I had wanted to have sex with him for a while. I also wanted to take my chance to be with him before we went off to separate universities.

Although it was a bit awkward, it was the best night of my young-adult life. Jason was so sweet and gentle, like he always was, and tried his hardest to make everything perfect. He didn't have to try, though, he was perfect. He had always been perfect. That's why I fell for him, because of his kindness and huge heart and not to mention his piercing blue eyes and his killer body. 

I wonder if he still resembles a smidgen of his young self.

"Wait," I say, pulling myself out of the haze, "you're a surgeon?" 

"Yes, I'm a neurological surgeon."

"And you operated on my sister?"

"Yes. I had no clue until I updated the chart afterward."

"Afterwards? Oh God, please tell me she's okay."

"Kate," he says, touching my arm softly, "she's going to be okay."

Jason's reassurance allows my body to settle, slightly, for the first time in hours.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, that's where we're taking you now."

We walk in silence the rest of the way to Briana's room. When I walk in, I see her hooked up to numerous tubes and a ventilator. Both of her legs are sealed and bound in casts. 

Panic immediately takes over my body.

"I thought you said she was going to be fine?" I say, directing my words at Jason.

"She will be, Kate. Please, have a seat."

Jason ushers me over to a chair across the room. I sit willingly, knowing full well that I won't be able to handle the news standing up. 

"Briana's injuries are quite severe. She has fractures in both of her legs and is suffering from serious head trauma. When we were in the operating room addressing her brain bleed-"

"I'm sorry, her what?" I say, cutting him off.

He takes a hold of my hand.

"After being hit, her body made impact with the pavement at a significant force, and her head took the brunt of it. So yes, she was suffering from a small bleed and most likely a concussion."

"Oh..."

"Now, while we were in the operating room, her brain started to swell. This occurs when the brain is exposed to a significant amount of trauma. But, because the brain is held within the skull, which is solid, it has nowhere to go when it expands. So, what I've done is removed pieces from her skull to give her brain some extra room. This process is quite painful, so, for her comfort, we have placed her in a medically induced coma until the swelling in her brain goes down. Once the brain has reduced its swelling, we will take her back into surgery to close her back up."

I sit there in horror. I can't believe how serious her injuries actually are. I'm glad that her legs are only fractured and not pulverized, but all these issues with her brain are scaring the life out of me.

"Kate?" Jason asks, looking at me quite concerned.

I look to him, grabbing his hand tighter.

"Kate, you need to breathe."

Oh, right, breathing.

I let out an exaggerated breath, one I didn't realize I was holding onto. I allow myself to deflate, both physically and emotionally. This is too much too fast. I don't know if I can keep up.

"Okay, so, she's sleeping, but not really sleeping."

"You could put it that way, yes."

"And she isn't aware of anything that's going on?"

"Most likely, no. But there are studies that have shown patients in comas can hear things."

"My sister's not a study, Jason." I say rather harshly.

"Sorry, you're right. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's fine. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just a lot, you know?"

"I know, Kate. But she's young and strong, and I believe she will get through this."

"She's the toughest person I know. And the most stubborn."

"I remember," he says, with a sigh.

I laugh. Briana wasn't my biggest fan when Jason and I ended things before going off to university. I think she was most pissed about not having someone who was willing to drive her around. Jason was always sweet with her, even though a lot of things she did drove him crazy. One time, while we were, you know, she barged into my bedroom without knocking. This, of course, was before dad had installed locks on our bedroom doors. So, long story short, Briana has seen Jason naked, not to mention balls deep inside of me. 

Briana has always been a feisty firecracker, which, in the long run worked to her advantage. Her personality is what aided in her successful career. After receiving a degree in business marketing and administration from Brock University, she took a job as an assistant to the head of a multi-million-dollar company here in Toronto. From age twenty-three, she worked her ass off, and little by little worked her way up the food chain at NOMAT, and now, at age twenty-nine, is the head of their marketing department. According to her, this is absolutely unheard of in her field.   

Working at NOMAT was her dream job. She had begun researching multi-media covered companies in her third year of her undergrad and was determined to get an in at NOMAT because she loved what they stood for. NOMAT, which stands for "no more animal testing" is a well-known Canadian cosmetic company that strives to create top-tier cosmetic products without the harming of animals. They are one of the big forces in the cruelty-free movement. 

Briana, who has been an animal lover all her life, is completely appalled at the fact that so many cosmetic companies use harmless animals to test their products. She is one hundred percent in favour of the cruelty-free movement, so much so, that when NOMAT began working on their campaign, she threw her hat in, even though she had barely been promoted to the marketing team. Her passion for the subject influenced the workplace environment tenfold, and her dedication and hard work on the campaign is what put her in the running for the new head of marketing. My personal "slogan" for Briana is: "if you don't want to take shit from anybody, don't hand out shit." It's as simple as that. 

"Are you feeling alright?" Jason asks me.

"Yeah. I mean, no. But I will be."

"Have you eaten anything since you got here? Maybe you should go to the cafeteria and get a bite."

"I can't leave her, Jason. I'm the only one she's got."

He looks at me for a moment, sympathy dripping from his expression. I take this moment to glance down at his hands, which look as strong as ever, taking note that he is not wearing a wedding band. 

Interesting.

I let out a sigh, realizing that he is right. I am starving, but I'm not going to let him know that.
"Maybe I should get something. And coffee. I really need some coffee."

"That sounds like a good plan. You shouldn't feel guilty about leaving Briana, there is plenty of staff on this floor that can assess her needs. And even though she's the patient, you need to remember to take care of yourself, too."

Damnit.

"I guess you're right." I say, standing up from the chair. 

I begin making my way to the door, leaving Jason sitting by himself. As I'm about to walk out, I turn around.

"You look good, Jason."

The line at the cafeteria is awful, and the constant chatter of doctors and visitors is giving me a headache. By the time I get to the counter, all the good selections are picked over, leaving nothing but stale-looking garden salads. I take one anyways, even though I know it will taste like crap. It's better to have something in your system than nothing at all.
I order a coffee and instantly regret drinking it after taking one sip. It's complete garbage; how the hell do people drink this? It's so bad that I'm considering asking Siri to tell me where the nearest Starbucks is. But I could never do that to Bri. On the other hand, though, she would not settle for shit coffee like this. If she were in my shoes, she would leave the hospital and have no hard feelings towards it.
So, for once in my life, I take a page from her book. I ditch my garden salad, that I paid way too much for, by the way, and head for the parkade. Thankfully, there is a Starbucks a few blocks away from the hospital. This is one of the things I love most about living in Toronto, there is literally a Starbucks on every corner. 

I order my regular venti caramel macchiato, extra hot, and grab a chicken wrap to go. I eat it in what must be record time; I didn't realize I was that hungry. But I guess that's what grief does to you, make you forget all moral sense.

By the time I make it back to the hospital, I am in a better headspace than I was before. I think the shock of the accident and the emotional drawback of seeing Jason again really took a toll on me. I wasn't ready for any of it.

As I make my way off the elevator, I hear a siren-like beeping coming from down the hallway. On instinct, I look in the direction of my sister's corridor and see a group of people running. Then I hear a page,

"Code blue," a generic voice says over the PA.

Panic settles into my being. I've watched enough hospital dramas on Netflix to know that code blue doesn't mean anything good. I rush in the direction of Briana's room, praying the code is not for her. I can barely enter the room due to the number of bodies inside. Nurses in all different colored scrubs are rushing around her and hooking her up to machines. 

"Has someone paged doctor Atkins?" one of them calls.

"Yes, I did!"

"What the hell is happening?" I half yell. And then, from out of nowhere, Jason appears and begins pulling me way from the bed. 

"Kate, you can't be in here," he says, moving past me and over to Briana.

"She's in v-fib." A nurse says.

I stand there, frozen, with tears falling down my face.

"Jason," I say.

"Can someone get her out of here, please?"