I woke up first.  I opened my eyes and slowly stretched, straightening my still sleepy muscles.  Sunlight was shining through the dark curtains in my room, which meant that the day was going to be beautiful and sunny.  That's good, it will be more pleasant to work.  Especially since today we were planning another rehearsal for our big concert in a nice, air-conditioned dance hall.

I rolled over and looked at Fourth sleeping.  I couldn't resist the temptation to brush a strand of hair from his forehead and kissed him there.  He looked really innocent and cute when he slept, but just remembering what happened that night made me look away.

I looked to the side and saw a cork board on which I had attached a piece of paper with just one nickname written in red: 'Annabelle'.  This reminded me of my assignment.

I sighed quietly and slipped out of the bed as gently as possible so as not to wake up my boyfriend.  Only then did I realize that we were both still completely naked.  I wrapped a towel I found on the bed around my waist, vaguely remembering that FotFot had been wearing it yesterday before...

I shook my head violently, telling myself not to think about it.

“Go back to sleep, lovely boy, I have to get ready”. I whispered, quietly enough so as not to wake him up and at the same time loud enough to hear my own voice.

I know, it looks really bad, doesn't it?  Like I was sneaking out after...

Come back.

No.  We don't have time for this or any tender moments.  There's no point crying over spilled milk.  We both wanted it.  That's it, case closed, and now I have to make sure that another, much more serious case is also closed.

I checked my phone again.  P'Singo's message was short, but it was just what I expected.

P'Singto, Policeman: Nong Gemini, remember that the entire plan is top secret.  Not a word to anyone.  I count on your cooperation.  Do not let me down.  You know the consequences.

How I hated this tone of the interlocutor, but I couldn't object.  Some perverse thought told me to take a few photos of Fourth.  He slept in a hard, sound sleep.  I figured he probably hadn't been getting much sleep lately.  I posted one of the photos on Instagram.  P'Erin warned us against mixing private life with work, but for me it no longer mattered.  Besides, I was a bit curious about the fans' reaction.  Will they accept it?  Or maybe they will think that I do it as part of my job, as part of the so-called fan service, which is very popular in our country?

It wasn't just fan service, but I had no right to say it out loud.  P'Erin will be mad at me, maybe she'll be mad at both of us.  That's good.  This is also part of the provocation devised by the three of us.  P'Singto suspects that Annabelle will fall for it, that it will piss him off and force him to make a false move.  I would like to share his confidence and his faith.  Unfortunately, I feel that difficult times await us.

I don't know how to cook and I don't think I will ever learn, but I still managed to prepare a simple breakfast for Fourth.  On his phone, which was connected to the charger on the nightstand, I stuck a pink sticky note on which I wrote:

«Good morning Baby.  I hope you got some sleep.  I didn't run away, don't worry.  You will find me rehearsing in the studio at our agency.  Don't forget to eat something.  Kisses, yours forever, GemGem».

It may have sounded a bit kitsch and too romantic, but I was an artist and I could afford it.

Before I left, I took one last long, longing look at my boyfriend.  Perhaps this was our last morning like this.  P'Singto couldn't rule it out.  I felt in my bones that something would go wrong.  For the first time I also felt real, paralyzing fear.  I had never thought about what death was like before, it wasn't like me.  Meanwhile, the provocation that P'Singto came up with carried great risks.  If Gun and Annabelle realized what was going on too quickly, I knew that at least Annabelle wouldn't hesitate to kill me.  Gun, if he really loves his brother, maybe he will try to stop him.

Oh, how naive I am!  After all, Gun is responsible for the death of the third of the triplets, LiMing!  He may also do something stupid in self-defense.  It looks like I can't count on his cooperation.

“Annabelle is a very dangerous person, a multiple murderer, although nothing has been proven against him so far.  He disguises himself as a charming artist loved by millions around the world, NuNew, but in reality he is a beast.  He's cunning and damn smart. And at the same time agile like a cat, athletic and energetic.  It won't be an easy task,”  P'First explained to me when we met briefly the previous day at the hospital.

I then stared at the documents that Fourth's brother handed me, pretending to read them, although their contents did not reach my consciousness.  P'First's voice was still ringing in my ears.

“Okay, let's do it,” I agreed, seemingly without a second thought, putting on my favorite poker mask. My face (I hoped) was absolutely unreadable, my eyes remained calm, and only a slightly twitching muscle in my leg betrayed my extreme nervousness.

“Are you sure?”

“Don't ask so many times.  You also asked about it in a message earlier”.

“Sorry.  I just don't want my brother to become a widower before he even gets married!  Do you know that my nong has already told me about the wedding he dreamed of for you?  He's madly in love with you, so I have to ask you to be careful.  Don't break my little brother's heart.  After what Gun did, Fourth was the only one left.  This is my only family”.

“Okay P', don't worry.  I'll get back to him.  I love him too” – It's funny how easy it was to admit these feelings.

On the way to work I had enough time to check out Instagram.  I used my fake IG account so as not to reveal my curiosity to anyone.  To my positive surprise, most of our fans enjoyed the nice photo of Fourth I provided them with.  Others, as usual, started analyzing every detail in the photo.  I got a lot of really nice and lovely comments, but there were also some that criticized us.

I gritted my teeth when I read one of the comments under my post.  It was so cruel.  A red warning light went off in my head.  I was angry, but I didn't show it.  P'Erin called me a moment later, asking for an explanation.

“So you're really together?” She asked, and I didn't know how to interpret her tone of voice. Should I be afraid? Or maybe happy that she found out? Tell the truth or turn it all into a joke? Which would be better?

The old me would probably have turned it all into a joke, said it was all just foolishness, that Fourth was sleeping at my place and that's it, but I wasn't the old Gemini anymore.  Now I was someone new, I was GemGem, a cute, funny, head over heels in love mutt who would do anything for the person he loved.  Literally everything.

“Yes, P'Erin, me and Fourth are a couple.  I don't want to hide it anymore.  I'll tell the fans during the concert”.

“Gemini... We'll talk about it later.  Where are you?”

“On the way to work.  I'll be at the agency in a moment”.

“Great.  See you there then”.

Her slightly too cheerful tone worried me a bit.  I quickened my pace and ten minutes later I was there.  P'Erin walked towards me with her ever-present thermal mug in her hand.  She wasn't smiling.  This wasn't a good sign.  She grabbed my hand and led me to the room with mirrors, still empty at that time, where we practiced choreography.

“Nong Gemini, please explain to me what you want to do?”

“I want... No, I have to, yes, I have to tell our fans the truth about me and Fourth”.

“What for?  Gemini, don't you understand that your career depends on it?”

'Career?'  – I thought sadly, looking somewhere ahead at the wall, just not to look the woman in the eyes.  – 'Oh, I don't give a damn about my career!  It is not important anymore.  I may die soon, if P'Erin knew about it, would she criticize me too?  P', please let me do it.  If anything happens to me, at least I'll end it knowing that I told the truth.'

I don't know where this obsession with telling the fans about us came from.

Maybe because it was part of the provocation plan.

Or maybe I was just tired of hiding.  I had enough of cheating fans and playing with their feelings.  Enough of reading nonsense about myself.

“I'll tell them the truth.  No, not the whole truth, for some reasons I cannot do that.  I described the whole truth in my diary, which I will give you on a pen-drive before the concert.  I hope the fans will forgive me.  You know very well that I had no choice”.

“Gemini?  Why do I feel like you're not telling me something important?”

“It's nothing, P'Erin. I just decided that since our relationship was already at such an advanced level, there was no point in hiding it any longer”.

“What about your deal? Gemini, your contract clearly states that you are not allowed to date until the end of the contract”.

“I know, P', but it's okay, it's really okay.  I am ready to face the consequences.  Tell me, P', why is our world so cruel and complicated?  Why is a little sincere love a bad thing for us?  After all, such a true and strong feeling should give everyone joy and hope, build their faith that each of us, no matter what, deserves to be loved and to be able to fall in love with someone reciprocally.  Why is our love bad?  Is it because we are two men?  Does this mean we love less than straight people?”

As I said all this, I felt bitterness flowing from my heart with each sentence I uttered.  I didn't feel like I was 20, I felt like I was 80, old, experienced and tired - again, something new to me.  Before Fourth, I was young and I felt young, I didn't really care about anything, and now... Even when I heard my own words, it seemed to me that someone else had said them, some other, older and more adult version of me.  It's sad because although I once wanted to be an adult and couldn't wait for it, now I don't want to grow up at all, I want to be a little boy again without worries who loved music and dancing.  I don't want to be an adult anymore.  Fourth, take us back to childhood again... Being an adult is so damn cruel and demanding.

“P', you know that we love each other.  You know that our feelings are no less true than the feelings of heterosexual couples.  We also struggle with everyday problems, and it is not always rosy.  So why are we being hurt and judged even more?  How is our feeling worse than theirs?  Is our sacrifice less?  Do they all really think that we are like this because it's some stupid whim of ours?  P'Erin... I... I just want them to know that I already have someone and that I'm so damn happy with that someone.  Fourth is my whole world, so I want the fans to know that”. 

P'Erin gave me a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, but before she could say anything, over her shoulder I saw the shocked look of Fourth standing in the doorway.  The backpack fell from his shoulders and landed with a soft plop on the floor.  Fourth's eyes and mouth were wide open.  I ran to him.

“Gem, do you want to tell your fans about us?”

“Yes,” I admitted briefly. My heart was pounding in my chest like a bell in a temple. I was so afraid that he would refuse me. I was so afraid that he would try to stop me, that he would not agree, that he would find a thousand excuses not to do that and that he will find a way to prevent me from doing so.

I know that FotFot is still not fully accustomed to life in the spotlight, to being constantly exposed to public view and judged by so many.  I know it's not an easy decision and that we should make it together, and yet I left him no choice, but... But I had no other choice.  I didn't see the excess of heroism that P'First accused me of.

Fourth had the right to refuse me.  He had the right to even break up with me, but wouldn't that ruin P'First and P'Singto's plan?

This plan weighed on my heart like a big, heavy boulder pulling me underwater, dragging me to the very bottom.  There was no escape.  There was no possibility of rescue.  I will drown and maybe that was my destiny from the beginning.  I will sink like the Titanic.  Famous, rich, admired and... Dead.

A cold shiver ran down my spine as I recalled photos of the wreck of the Titanic, a mighty ship at the time, crumbling underwater and destroyed so easily.  I hope that I will never be forgotten, at least as much as this ship.

I realized it when I looked into his eyes.  His face showed impatience for what I would say.

“Please, FotFot, you know this is important to me.  I don't want to lie to them anymore, and I also want us both to not have to pretend anymore”.

“Is it because of what we did last night?” He asked me, immediately recalling all the memories I was trying so hard to push to the bottom of my consciousness. I turned my face to the side. Damn it...! How could he think that?!  I punched him in the arm.

“You better shut up.  P'Erin is here, do you want her to know everything?”  I whispered, leaning slightly into his ear. Apparently, however, I still said it too loudly, because our manager interjected:

“You know, Gemini, I think that hickey on your neck has already told me everything, you don't have to whisper or hide”. She walked up to me and tapped the red mark on my neck with her finger. “But I hope you're not confusing simple lust  with love. They are two different things, although when they go together they can be truly wonderful, but they are also easily confused with each other”.

P'Erin looked like she wanted to say something else, but Fourth wouldn't let her.

“With all due respect, P', but isn't this just our private matter?  Isn't it just the two of us who have the right to decide what happens between us?  Even if we're wrong, isn't that what being young is all about?  About experimenting?  About getting to know yourself?  About looking for answers to difficult questions?  If not now then when?  What does it matter to others what is between us if we are both happy?  But if you want to know so badly, P', I'm sure it's not what you called it, only lust.  This is the desire for closeness resulting from the purest feeling I know, love.  A sincere and beautiful love between two beings of the same species”.

I was stunned.  P'Erin too, I guess.  Her jaw dropped in surprise and my manager looked hilarious with that surprised look on her face.

Fourth spoke as if he had normally swallowed a book of poetry.  I felt a strange urge to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and then pinch his cheek and ask him to wake up, because he was obviously still asleep.

“Why are you looking at me like that?  Did I say something wrong?”

“Mhm…Yyyyyy?  W-what?” That was all I could afford.

“I suggest you limit your reading of romance novels,” P'Erin said in a rough, almost arrogant tone. I looked at her sideways. “And do whatever you want, I wash my hands of it. If something goes wrong, it will be on you  so that you don't come to me crying later. I warned you”.

She left, leaving us alone.

“What bit her?”

“I don't know, honey, but I thought what you said was beautiful.  You sounded like some professional poet!”

“Come on, you were better”.

“Did you hear?”

“Every word from the moment you mentioned you wanted to tell your fans about us”.

“Not 'my' fans, but 'our' fans.  They're your fans too”.

“I know, but I still can't get used to it”.

I grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together, and led him to the center of the room.  We sat down on the cool floor.  It seemed so surreal, like a moment torn from a dream.  Our friends we were supposed to perform with hadn't shown up yet, so we were all alone here.  Fourth's knee was touching mine.

“You know this can make a big difference?”  He asked me.

I nodded.

“Yes, FotFot, it might change everything, but I want to do it anyway.”

“Okay, then we'll do it.”

“Are you serious?  You won't even try to stop me?”

“No, GemGem, why would I do that?  You want it, and if it makes you happy, why should I mind?  I think if we both understand what's going on between us, that's what the feeling is all about”.

Funny.  I thought the same thing.  I smiled warmly at him.  There was no time for more.  Pond and Joong ran into the room.  Pond crouched behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, and in a cheerful, witty tone, asked me about the hickey that was apparently hurting everyone's eyes.  I really regretted that I had forgotten to hide it under at least a bit of makeup and a scarf before leaving the house.

“Get away or I'll kick you!”  I threatened him as I stood up.

“Oh, you're being mean to your ex-partner!”  Pond looked offended.

“You were just my 'work' partner” I clearly underlined the words 'work' to show the difference.  “But if you don't shut up right now, you can stop being Phuwin's partner for life and forget about being my friend at all.”

“Hey nong Gemini, don't be mean.  It's me, your friend”.  Pond blinked his eyes charmingly.  I pretended to vomit.

“Bleh, save those pretty eyes for Phu, they don't work on me.”

Joong nudged Pond's shoulder, whispered something in his ear, and then suddenly wrapped his arms around my Fourth's waist and hugged him tightly.  I didn't like it.  I separated them by pushing Chen so hard that he fell to the floor, giving me a strangely hurt look.  This was also another reason why I wanted everyone to be clear about what connects me with Fourth and what connects me with the others.

✨☺️❤️💖😂🦚😭💔🤩👀😅😆🥰🖤🙉💚😜🌺🌸🐾🤯🤦🏻‍♀️😍♓🥺🐶🗨️🤫☀️🥚👻🙋🏻‍♀️💜💪🏻🤣🥶👀💔🥰💚☺️💔👀💔🥰💚☀️🤫💜👀🙋🏻‍♀️🤫💜👀🗨️☺️😜🥰😅🦚✨💔🥰🤩👀🌺

From Annie:

I unarchived previous chapter, because it's still somehow important to the whole story. I wrote chapter *52* to show my fictional character of Gemini who knows that he may die soon, he's at the same time scared but also wanted his beloved to have something to remember. For this fictional Gemini his first time with Fourth was his way to show his true feeling. In this story Gem wanted to give to Fourth something special.

I'm sorry for not being able to write it well. I usually suck in writing this kind of chapters and prefer to not write them at all, especially if it's fanfiction based even a little on real people.

I do respect real boys and that's why this is only a fictional story and fictional characters.

I felt the need to explain this and apologize.

For me this is completely fictional world and I don't even see real Fourth or Gem while writing it, I see fictional characters, I see all of them as I created them here. Mostly they're somehow part of me, not the real boys we all love.

I do love Gem, Fourth, Joong, Dunk, Pond, Phuwin and others, that's why they are the part of this story. Also because I wanted to see them acting in something like this.

I hope you all are not mad at me.

I didn't wanted to do anything wrong. I just still didn't learn how to write fanfictions! But I hope you'll help me with this since I love writing.

~Yours forever, Magical