“If you want to be with him, he will have to go through our trials,” Father Mile was adamant.  Fourth grimaced.  His father's servant placed a cup of tea with ice cubes on a low, dark, heavy-looking bench in front of him.  It was hot and Fourth actually wanted a refreshment, but he didn't want to do it in front of his fathers, especially Mile.  He was still furious that his father's men had brought him here, to their house, which he no longer wanted to have anything to do with and which he wanted to forget.

“Father Mile…” He started, but father Apo cut him off.

“Understand, son, that this is for your own good.  How sure are you that you can trust him?  How sure are you that he won't reveal our secrets?  I don't care if he's a boy, although I must admit I'd rather you had a girlfriend, but it's all about trust.  Is nothing reaching you?  Have you forgotten who we are? He may destroy us, destroy everything we've been working for for so long and so hard!”

“I-I... I trust him...”

“You trust him! Great, but we don't.  What do you really know about him?”

“Well... He's a musician and actor, right?  He has two older brothers, Dunk and Phuwin.  Dunk is studying medicine, Phuwin is…” He hesitated.  Wait, who is Phuwin?  They had never really talked about it honestly, and Fourth suddenly realized how little he knew about Gemini, his life, and his family.  He only knew that the three of them lived only with their mother, the father had left for another woman, and Gemini didn't have a good relationship with his mother and believed that the reason for this was his own resemblance to his father.

“That's right, son, that's what I was talking about.  You don't know anything about him.  Therefore, he must go through the tests we have prepared for him and must complete these tasks.  If he doesn't do this, he will never be trustworthy in our eyes”.

“It's not fair.”

“That's very fair.  It would have been different if you hadn't told him who we were.  Why did you tell him about it?”

“I-I…” Fourth was at a loss for words and courage.  He found father Mile scarier than ever.  Not a single complete sentence escaped his constricted throat.  To buy time, he reached for a glass of tea and took a few sips.

He knew that the tasks prepared by his fathers were difficult, requiring courage, bravery, loyalty and ingenuity.  They also required something else.  Resistance to pain and stress.  However, he didn't regret telling Gem the truth about his family.  His boyfriend, before he was his boyfriend, deserved to know the truth, and Fourth couldn't lie for very long, he was never as good an actor as Gemini, even if he tried.  He didn't want to lie to the person he cared about most in the world.

“Gemi is an artist, dad, if you hurt him and leave any marks on his body, people will ask questions”. Fourth grabbed the last resort, addressing Apo directly.

“It's difficult, I get it, but...  Boy, it's time for you to understand that your loved one has a choice: you or his career and his comfortable life.  If he is a coward, if he chooses his own life, if he is afraid to take risks, it means he is not worthy of you.  My son deserves someone who will never betray him, who will be loyal and who will know his place in the line.  If this boy doesn't get things done, don't count on him being able to handle life as your boyfriend.  Don't forget who you are, who we all are.  We are the people who have real power in this country, the happiness or misfortune of these ordinary, gray people of Thailand depends on us, we can make their lives happy or turn it into a real hell.  Does your boyfriend know about your position in this world?  Did you tell him you were also trained to hurt and kill?”

Fourth looked away.  Mile's father's words hurt him.  He didn't want to remember that.  Every time he spent time with Gemini, he could forget about it.  Gem gave him the sense of freedom he lacked, allowed him to be fully himself.  With young Tangsakyuen, he felt as if he was finally breathing fully for the first time, and his heart repeatedly became a light butterfly flapping its small but strong wings.

“You didn't tell him?  Son, then you are not worthy of him either.  You say you love him.  If you love him, why weren't you completely honest with him?  You didn't tell him and you didn't give him a chance to decide if he wanted to be with you or not.  If you are not honest with him, don't expect him to be loyal to you.  You won't reap what you haven't sown”.

“It's not my fault,” Fourth was tired of taking orders, of being an errand boy.  So far, he had done his job conscientiously and reliably, but now he had had enough, he wanted to break free, he wanted to stop calling himself Jirochtikul.  He stood up and bravely looked his father in the eye.

“Is that so?”

“You raised me this way, father.  You're the one who taught me to kill unnecessary people, it's because of you that I'm just as toxic as you and the rest of your gang of screw-ups, but the longer I'm with Gemini, the more I see how wrong what we're doing is.  Forgive us, father, we don't have to be another monster who causes suffering to others”.

“We have to be like that.  If we soften, we will not survive, those stronger than us will destroy us.  You want that?”

“I don't care about it.  I can die if necessary, isn't that what you taught me?  Weren't you the one who taught me that your loyal and devoted friends are worth dying for?  Then I know that it is worth giving my life for Gem.  If necessary, I'm ready for it.  I know that if I leave the industry, the people I hurt may come for revenge, they may seek revenge, I know it could mean danger to both of us, but I still want to try.  You're right, father, I love him.  And I know he loves me.  I only ask you for two things: A: let me leave the gang;  B: accept us and don't make Gemini go through these trials”.

“Sit down, let's talk”. That didn't sound the least bit encouraging, it was an order again.  Mile placed a hand on Fourth's shoulder, forcing him to sit up.

“Tell me, what exactly do you want from me?  You have Gun, he does all the dirty work for you, why do I have to do it too?”

“Gun?  Are you talking about this again?”

Mile and Apo exchanged concerned glances.

“Gun doesn't exist.  How many times do I have to tell you?” He was pissed.  Any mention of Fourth's non-existent twin brother infuriated him.  He tried many times to explain to Fourth that no Gun ever existed, that Gun was simply a second personality of Nattawat himself.  The psychiatrist with whom Mile and Apo consulted on this matter explained to them that their son had several different personalities.  One time he is his own twin brother nicknamed Gun, who is brave, aggressive, can fight and kill, and another time he is eighteen-year-old LiMing, who is desperately looking for his missing loved one.  Still other times, Fourth becomes eight-year-old Fifi or nineteen-year-old Gun.*

“So why did you bring me here?  You kidnapped me off the street in the middle of the day, someone might have noticed.  What for?  To talk to me about my boyfriend or to remind me what a hopeless failure I am in your eyes?”

“Have you gone crazy?  We just want to meet your partner.  We have to check him out.  Bring him to us”.

“No. I won't do it. You can hurt me all you want but leave GemGem alone, he has done nothing wrong.”

“You can't say no”.

“What if GemGem fails your tests?  What then?”

“Well, I guess you know what fate awaits traitors...”  P'Mile, with sincerity that wounded Fourth's delicate heart, raised his hand and put two fingers to his temple, imitating the position of the gun when firing.

“No, father.  You can't do it.  I don't let you!”

“Oh, you brat, you have the nerve to not let me do something? You?!  I remind you that I was the one who raised you, I was the one who paid for your education and everything you wanted, I took care of you! You little spoiled brat! You're so ungrateful! How dare you?”.

“Were you taking care of me?!  Oh really?!  Now you want to play daddy dear?  Now that you found out that I have a boyfriend and my boyfriend won't be afraid of you?  Admit it, Father, you're as afraid of Gem as you were of P'First when he entered the police academy despite your orders.  You have already cut yourself off from your two sons, you only have me left, if I leave your life, you will be completely alone.  And what do you need your money for?  Will you be truly happy? Will money bring you everything you wanted?”

“Come on, you're talking nonsense.  Money, fear and violence are power, and power is sweet, it is wonderful”.

“No, father, it is not.  You will find out one day when you are old, weak and lonely and when there is no one there to give you a glass of water.  Then you will understand what was more important: your money and your power, which make no one want to be with you, or my trust, my friendship, kindness and love, which make people want to be with me and support me as I am”.

Fourth seemed incredibly mature and confident in that moment.  It was Gem who changed him so much.  And acting courses.  Now he could bravely endure all the words spoken by his guardian, who was also the man whose death he wanted most in the world, and although he hated himself for such thoughts, he couldn't drive them away.  Although inside he was shaking with emotion, on the outside he remained a hard, immobile rock, looking at his father with contempt.

He knew very well that the conversation was over, Fourth didn't want to listen to him anymore, but he turned around before he left and said with disarming sincerity:

“I could never be a good father to you, could I?  If you, as my own son, were afraid of me, then I have failed completely and then it is not Gemini who is not worthy of my son, but rather I am not worthy of being called your father.  You showed great courage and bravery today, I didn't think you would be able to stand up to us.  Come back here with him, bring him, I want to get to know him better.  You don't know everything about me either.  Give me one last chance, maybe then you will understand that me and Apo did all this to protect you”.

And then he turned and left, leaving Fourth dumbfounded, still sitting in the same silhouette, as if he were a sculpture made of marble, a figure forever trapped in one motionless gesture.  Only his rhythmically rising chest and blinking eyelids proved that he was a living being.

Fourth didn't know what to think.

😥💖😥💖😥💖😥💖

Author's note:
* I used here gaslighting, you can check, what it is to fully understand, what P'Mile is doing to nong Fourth.

Wikipedia:

Motivations:

Gaslighting is a way to control the moment, stop conflict, ease anxiety, and feel in control. However, it often deflects responsibility and tears down the other person.[16] Some may gaslight their partners by denying events, including personal violence.[25]

Learned behavior:
Gaslighting is a learned trait. A gaslighter is a student of social learning. They witness it, experience it themselves, or stumble upon it, and see that it works, both for self-regulation and coregulation.[16] Studies have shown that gaslighting is more prevalent in couples where one or both partners have maladaptive personality traits[26] such as traits associated with short-term mental illness like depression), substance-induced illness (e.g., alcoholism), mood disorders (e.g., bipolar disorder), anxiety disorders (e.g., PTSD), personality disorder (e.g., BPD, NPD, etc.), neurodevelopmental disorder (e.g., ADHD), or combination of the above (i.e., co-occurrence) and are prone to and adept at convincing others to doubt their own perceptions.