I'm gone.  I'm done.  Dunk is right.  I fell in love.

How could I afford this?

I look at his photos and videos of us together and I can't forget.  All I have to do is hear someone mention something about him and I immediately start listening more carefully.  I want to know everything about him.  Being in his company is pleasant.  Fourth allows me to be myself.  My team says I smile more often now.  You can also see a change among my fans.  I expected many negative comments, I expected that they would not accept us, that they would point fingers at us and ridicule us.  I expected that as we got closer, people would notice and try to destroy it.  It's strange, but nothing like that happened.

Fourth sometimes mentions how he wants to be my boyfriend, but I know he's only doing it because he was told to.  This is our job.  That's why I always answer him in a joking tone, I don't reject him, but I never confirm him either.  I don't want to hurt him and I don't want him to hurt me.

You know what's the worst?

I guess it was when I kissed him and he didn't push me away that I really felt like maybe we could be together.  I can't and I don't even try to forget anymore.  Fourth said he just wanted to practice the kissing scene because that was the scene we were going to shoot, but the more I think about it, the more I analyze it, the more I think it's not true.  He wanted it too, I saw it in his eyes, I felt it when he responded to my kiss, he could have pushed me away.

I told Dunk about it, I couldn't help myself.  I felt it weighing more and more on me.  Pond already knows this, but he hasn't given me any smart advice.  According to him, I should give Fourth a chance.  Dunk sees it differently.  My brother thinks it's just a job, that Fourth is just joking, but at the same time that there's nothing wrong with trying, but I think he says that because he's with First himself now...

I fell in love.

That's what he told me.  And what now?  Should I tell Fourth?  What if he doesn't feel the same?  What if he rejects me?  Sure, he wouldn't be the first to do it, but... I don't know if I'm ready for it.  I still remember mom and dad.  They used to be so happy and in love with each other, and then everything collapsed.  It still hangs over me like a curse, a curse that I can't get rid of.

I can't help but think about him anymore.  My fans also increasingly catch me mentioning it countless times during the livestream.  Yesterday it was funny because Fourth wasn't with me at the fanmeeting and someone watched the entire video for fun and counted that I mentioned his name 48 times in just an hour.  Not a bad result.  But I can't help it, he's so funny!  For example, when Fourth gets stressed (he's not used to public speaking, so it happens very often), he repeats one and the same word over and over until someone finally notices it and points it out to him, which stresses him out even more, and the more  The more Fifs tries to concentrate on not repeating the same word, the more he repeats it, and then he gets angry with himself in such a very cute way and then he looks like a small, fluffy, soft kitten who thinks he's dangerous, and then he does.  it really is adorable.

Oh.

Oh no.

What did I write?!

I should delete it, but... But it sounds so nice and... And I feel bad deleting it.  I hope whoever reads this one day will forgive me for this mutt-in-love phase.  Maybe one day it will go away and I will be normal again.  I'm just not sure if I want to be normal anymore.  The way it is now, it's quite good.  Why change it?

★ ★ ★

“Put this ring on.  Whoever takes it off first loses the bet”.  Gemini gave Fourth a simple silver ring resembling a wedding ring.  He himself put an identical one on the index finger of his left hand.

“All right.  For a week, the loser must do everything the winner tells him to do.  Deal?”

“Deal”.  Gemini shook his hand with a sly smile.  He thought of him less and less as his rival, and more and more often he saw him as something more.  This ring bet was actually a trick on his part.  Gemini knew his fans would take photos of them.  Ever since they met Fourth, they liked him and quite a few of them shipped them.  He was very pleased with this, even though it irritated him at first.  Back then, he couldn't imagine what it would be like between them.

Phuwin poured everyone another drink of alcohol.  They toasted to the success of the new series in which Gemini and Fourth appeared together.  Each of them got the lead role, but Gemini couldn't hide how worried he was.  When something usually went so well, there had to come a moment when it would go wrong.

The evening ended for both of them in Gemini's room, which was no surprise to either of them.  A heavily intoxicated Fourth pulled Gem towards him and hugged them with all his might, dragging them both towards the bed.

“Stay with me today”. He asked.  Several weeks have passed since the conversation with Gun, during which Fourth has learned that Gemini can be a professional who puts aside his own emotions and feelings and focuses on work.  And Fourth was irritated by it.  Norawit's behavior irritated him.  He was counting on Gem to do something, but Gem was acting like nothing had happened between them.  Fourth didn't know why, but it was this professionalism that pissed him off the most.

„To hell with it, you could be more yourself,” he thought sometimes, looking at his friend. „“You could take that fucking mask off. Was it really me who caused you to not feel comfortable and safe enough to be fully yourself, even with me?  I'm sorry.  How do I fix this?”

Fourth, on Gun's advice, flirted with Gem whenever he could, wanting to show him his intentions, but for some reason Gem didn't seem to trust him.  They spent a lot of time together, gave interviews, appeared in entertainment programs, took part in photo sessions, and in their free time collected information about Heart.  This investigation turned out to be the most difficult for them.  They reached a dead end when P'First provided them with additional, previously classified information about Heart.  They already knew 100% that Heart had indeed committed suicide, but it happened a few hours after LiMing's death.  Gemini was sure that Heart hadn't killed his boyfriend, but they couldn't even dismiss that possibility.  Heart appeared several more times, but he never contributed much to the case, his memories were blurred and seemed blocked.

“Yes, I think this is our story”. Heart's ghost confirmed when they asked him one evening about the script of the Moonlight Chicken series.   “I remember that I wrote about it on my blog before leaving for America.”

This didn't help much.  And it didn't provide answers to the questions that tormented them: what happened there?  Why did LiMing die first?  Did LiMing kill himself or did someone help him?  And what was the reason?

Gemini's head had been heavy with thoughts for several days, and yet now, under the influence of a large dose of alcohol, he felt much better, and the proximity of Fourth, his familiar smell and his touch, alleviated the effects of each failure.  Fourth asked him to stay with him for the night.

Gem wasn't going to say no.  He traced the outline of Fourth's face with his finger.

“Do you realize how handsome and hot you are?” He asked in a voice unlike his own, extremely sensual.

“Mhm, I know that.  You too.  Although I'd say you're more charming than handsome.  And you are beautiful.  Very beautiful.  You don't even know what I want to do with you right now”.

“Come on, do it.  I have nothing against it. You should already notice that. Don't you see that I'm whole yours since the beginning? If you want to do something with me, go ahead, I won't stop you, my beautiful fighter”.

“You're drunk, Gem,” Fourth reminded him, running a hand through his hair.  They were as soft and tactile as they looked.

“No more than you”. Gemini leaned over him and, after a short hesitation, stole a kiss from him, then pulled away and said in a calmer tone:

“Ok, ok, I give up.  Today, this must be enough for us.  We have to be at a meeting tomorrow afternoon.  We both need sleep.  Go take a shower, I'll come after you.”

“Don't you want to join me?”

“I want to, but I can't, we both know that.”

Fourth looked grumpy and moved slowly towards the bathroom.

“You're bad, Gem, you're abusing poor Fourth”  He muttered under his breath.  Gem, who heard this, smiled to himself.  He realized that a drunk and grumpy Fourth was quite a funny and cute mix.

★ ★ ★

Next morning...

Gem, taking advantage of the fact that Fourth was sleeping soundly, took out his cosmetics and began to create a peculiar make-up on the boy's face, which also included writing in English on his cheek in dark pink lipstick: "I love Phu".

Fourth didn't even wake up.  Gem continued his masterpiece, starting to braid thin braids. When he finished, he posted short video in his InstaStories to show Fourth's cuteness. Eventually, after quite some time, Fourth started to stir and woke up.  Gemini watched him with barely concealed amusement.  Fourth was initially too sleepy to think about the reason for the strangely happy smile on the grumpy guy's face.  Only in the bathroom, when they stood in front of the mirror over the sink to brush their teeth, did he see what had happened.

“AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH!  WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!”  Fourth screamed at the top of his lungs when he saw his new makeup. “This time you went to far! I'm not letting you go away with that!”

And Fourth came back to Gem's room and started chasing Gem, who was already fully dressed up for their meeting at afternoon. Gem tried to run away, but there was no escape. Fourth caught him, hugged him tightly and then in a quick, violent movement he began tickling poor Gem, who was writhing with laughter while trying unsuccessfully to free himself. Both of them laughed. It was cute moment just between two of them, when nothing other mattered.

But nothing can last forever. Laud ring of Gem's phone reminded them of their meeting. Fourth rushed back to bathroom to take quick shower and put on clothes picked by P'Erin two days ago. Gem fixed his hair(Fourth had ruined it completely, making huge mess on his head) and let himself drown in his own thoughts while looking dreamly at his ring on his finger. He was so proud of the idea with the bet.

„You agreed on this, my wonderful fighter, so you are already mine, aren't you? Oh damn, how much do I love you! I hope you can love me too. Even a little bit. Please, just be here with me, it's enough”.

And he was happy with every small moment of their closeness.

„I want to hold your hand forever. I want to kiss you. I want to hear your voice and see your face before going to bed and after waking up. I want you to be part of my life no matter where it will take me. I just wanna be yours. Let me. Let me be by your side. Let me show you that love can be beautiful. You made me believe in love once again, take the responsibility. I'm yours now, take care of me, don't let my heart break.”

And he was always soft for Fourth, he always let him do whatever Fourth wanted to do. He wasn't strong enough to fight it and he didn't wanted to fight it. He wanted to give it a try, even if he was a little bit scared. Fourth was too important for him.

They walked to Gem's car together with their hands so close to each other, that they touched many times during this little walk. Gem focused on driving, while Fourth was looking at his ring on his finger with some beautiful spark in his eyes.

❤️💖😍🤩❤️💖😍🤩❤️💖😍🤩❤️💖😍🤩

From Annie:

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry for yesterday's chapter! I've even made everything more sad after The Sign, PitBabe and Last Twilight... I'm sorry! I didn't meant to, but it was really time for that chapter, I hope you will forgive me?

Also...

This book is so far away from over! Why? Because we still have things we need to see and our boys have something to prove.

I hope you have wonderful day ❤️

~Annie