— Three days later —

Saturday, June 10th, 2023.

1:50 pm.

My heart pounding into my chest, I knock on the front door and wait to get an answer. I swallow some saliva and clear my throat, wondering if she is even at home or with Angelo.

A few seconds full of anxiety pass, and she opens the door. She does not say a word but stares at me, seeming disappointed or surprised to see me standing right before her. 

"Are your parents home?" I lick my lips and remain as calm as I can to not expose my emotions, but she lowers her gaze. "They're not. Why?"

"I don't want that talk on the phone to be our last one, I need to talk to you in person," I hope for her to let me have this one last chance, despite knowing I do not even deserve it.

She steps back and lets me in, so I step forward, and she closes the door.

"I'm sorry," I apologize to her again. "I didn't mean those words I said on the phone. You know how impulsive I can be when I'm nervous or worried, and the thought of losing you for good is scaring me so bad that I do or say things I wouldn't if I was using my brain."

She keeps her eyes on me without saying a single word, my breathing deepening. I bite my lips and move forth to wrap my arms around her body. "Don't look at me like that, please..."

"It hurts," she speaks in a low voice and hugs me back, and I feel the tears grow in my eyes. "I'm so sorry...I regret what I did so much. I just wanna go back in the past and confess to you so that you wouldn't have to feel so much pain," I fight against my feelings to not cry and look down into her eyes.

I bring my hand up to her face and hold it. "I can't lose you. I'll do anything to make it up. Even if you don't ever want to be with me, we can be friends again, right? We can start over again, I'll be that person you weren't afraid to trust, who you'd ask and get comfort from, who you'd feel happy with. I know I can't erase all the shit I've done, but I promise I'll work on myself and be a good person."

She never glances away, her beautiful but glistening eyes wrenching my heart apart. "You've become a part of my life. I can't see it without you, and I'm not emphasizing or trying to make you forget what I've done, but I can't stand to imagine you could think I'm nothing but a cold heartless piece of shit."

No sound following my voice, we both stay still and gaze into one another's eyes, her breathing sounding quivery. One tear rolls down her cheek, and she glances down to hurry to wipe it away, so I take my hands off of her.

"I need time to...take it in," she answers, in a sorrowful voice. "I understand. I didn't expect you to just brush everything off like that, but I just wanted to know if I'd still have the right to see and talk to you. No matter how long this takes, I'll wait."

"We can be friends, but it'll take time to be able to talk to you like I used to..." she does not put a total end to us, and I nod. "It's okay," I do not show any disappointment but brush the back of my hand over her cheek, and I go forth to hold her.

I tangle my fingers in her hair and press my lips on her temple, and I gaze down at her. I put my hands on either side of her face and lower my eyes to her lips. "Do you hate me?"

She shakes her head and relieves me, and I rub my thumbs over her cheeks. I do not speak but move back, holding back from doing what I want, and I breathe out. "What were you doing? Are you parents coming home late today?"

"I was just studying, but yeah, they're both working until four," she hugs her body and seems to be avoiding too much eye contact, making me feel like I should not stay here. "Hm. I'm gonna let you study and leave then. Have you eaten lunch?"

"Yeah, I did," she simply answers, and I accept the consequences of my mistakes. "Good, I'm glad to know you're eating well," I lick my lips and look down at hers. "If there are things you want to talk about, call or text me, alright?"

"I will," she drifts her hands down and intertwines her fingers, and I move back to the front door to open it.

I can tell she is not feeling very comfortable, so I would rather go back home and leave her alone.

"Take care of yourself," I look at her for the last time, and she tells me the same words, so I go out.

This is painful to see her act and feel that way because of me, but I do not deserve anything better.

— Two weeks later —

Monday, June 26th, 2023.

12:30 pm.

'YOUR P.O.V'

After finally getting the food she wanted, Enna joins me at the table, so I put my phone down and dig in. "This one was the last, it's my lucky day," she opens her chocolate milk bottle, and I glance down at it. "Don't you ever get a stomach ache with that?"

"Always, but it's too good for me to not drink it," she takes some sips before putting it down, and she sets her eyes on mine. "But anyway. I need some explanations about yesterday's text."

"What?" I pretend not to be aware, feeling nervous about this subject. "You know what. How good was it? Does he use his hands well?" she cannot help mentioning Angelo and what I told her about last Saturday.

"It was just a massage he gave me because my back was painful," I swallow some coke and drop my attention over my screen at the sight of a new text. "Yeah. 'Just a massage'. In what position? Was he sitting on your butt?"

"No, dumbass," I chuckle and read Felix's text.

< hey, how are you doing? I'm not sure you know about this but every year during summer, I invite all the boys to a chalet/villa I rent for two weeks, but since we're as close to you as we are to each other, I wanted to know if you'd like to join us? ]

"Wait," I stop Enna from yapping and focus on what Felix told me, but Angelo sends me a text right when I was about to answer.

< hey, have you received Felix's text? ]

[ I did, I was about to answer him. Why? >

< I just wanted to know if you'll be there ]

[ it sounds fun with you all, but idk if I'll feel comfortable living with four men >

< why? What are you worried about? ]

[ idk like having my laundry mixed with yours, maybe sharing a bathroom, and I'm not sure what to expect with four men in a house >

< I understand but don't worry, Kaden and Leon are the only one who tends to not be super great with keeping stuff clean but if you're there, they'll be a more responsible and respectful. And for the laundry, we can let you take care of your stuff ]

< I won't let them be dicks if you're there anyway ]

[ will I have my bedroom? >

< if you want one, we'll let you have it. We only have five rooms, but two of us will share one if we have to ]

[ and where is it? Is it far away? >

< its four hours from here and it's dead silent over there bcs there's just nature around so its pretty asf. You won't regret, I swear. There's an indoor and outdoor pool, a fire pit too, and it looks amazing inside as well with tall windows and stuff ]

[ and who cooks? I'm not going to be the maid and cook, right? >

< oh, he didn't tell you? That's why we want you to come. Just to be our personal housekeeper :) ]

[ will I be paid? >

< you love us, so you'll do it for free, right? ]

[ you can dream about it. I'm not coming :) >

< so mean and inconsiderate of you ]

"What are you smiling for?" Enna cannot keep quiet for too long, so I quickly answer Felix's text to let him know I will be there. "Angelo. He's being dumb."

"Oh, the hot guy of course. What is he saying?" she curiously asks to know, so I bring my phone down. "Felix invited us to spend some time in a chalet or villa all together this summer."

"A villa? All together?" she raises her eyebrows. "Yeah. All the boys will be there, so it's a bit scary."

"That means the asshole will be there," she does not care about anything else as if this was casual. "Jungkook?"

"Yeah. Who else could it be?" she shoves more food inside her mouth, and a sigh escapes me. "He apologized, and he actually felt bad."

"He'll always be an asshole to me. Sorry," she does not change her mind or tries to forgive him. "Has he even texted you since he came to your house?"

"He did. He asked me how I was doing, and how my exams are going," I tell her without giving too much unnecessary details. "Well, as long as he's a friend and nothing more. I'm fine with it. Has Angelo not made a move yet though?"

"No, we're just friends. But he did something...like...before giving me a massage, he was acting really weird," I tell her but do not know whether this is a good idea to describe what happened. "What does that mean?"

"Well since my mom would work all night long, I slept at his house because I didn't want to be alone with my dad. So he gave me his bed, and he stayed downstairs to sleep on the sofa, but around one hour later, he texted me to ask if I was sleeping, and I said no, so long story short, he joined me on the bed—"

"You had sex?!" she cuts me off with a dumb question, getting me to click my tongue at her. "No! I wouldn't call him a friend if we did," I deny what she seemed to have hoped to hear. "I was just lying down on my flat, but he knew that I wasn't feeling very good because of my period and that my back was hurting, so he started patting my head, then rubbing my back. We were talking about random stuff, and it was really comforting, but at some point, he joked about the fact the warmth of his skin could help alleviate some of the pain, and all, so I ended up letting him put his hand under my tank top to rub my back. However, he got really close, and I don't know, the way he looked at me reminded me of the way Jungkook would sometimes do it. Remember that day when he got a boner because I was sitting on his lap? Or when he got kinda drunk and would touch me a lot?"

"Hell yes, I do. It's the horny look," she keeps eating while attentively listening to my story. "Sure, if you say so. He looked at me like that though, he'd often stare at my lips, and after a few minutes, we stopped talking. We were just looking at each other, and he leaned in and pressed a kiss on my cheek, then, on my shoulder, and my shoulder blade, and he asked me if it felt good, but I got butterflies from the way he said it, and I feel ashamed since then."

"And then? What did you say?" she lowers her chin and waits for more to be unveiled, impatiently staring at me with some sauce in a corner of her mouth. "I said yes, and he asked if he could kiss my back, but I was feeling really good, and I didn't want to say no, so I gave him permission, and he did it. He was not just rubbing my back after that though, he was going a little harder and pressing kisses down my spine."

"And you still dare call him a friend?!" she nearly spits some food out. "Jungkook would do that to me all the time when we were best friends too but just not kiss my neck or use his tongue."

"Yeah, but remind me what that guy apparently ended up admitting?" she tilts her head and comes at me with a good argument, so I let her go on and tell the truth I cannot deny. "He wanted to have sex with you, and he 'liked' you too. So imagine what Angelo must want. All the neck kisses he gives you mean nothing but 'I wanna have sex with you right now, but I need your consent, so I'm testing the waters'."

"Whatever you say," I do not tell her she is wrong but eat my food.

— Three weeks later —

Monday, July 17th, 2023.

10:40 am.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

After finally dropping my luggage and bag in my new bedroom, I sigh and sit down on the king sized bed to take a break.

Y/n is not here yet, I wonder why Angelo and her are the only ones late.

I get my phone out of my pocket to check what time it is, but I cannot hold back from opening my messages. I check what y/n last sent me, how simple and cold it was, but scroll up, up high to reach what I miss.

No matter how long this takes me to see the good times again, I keep going, and eventually, fall upon an old text.

< you mean the world to me too<3 ]

Despite this text almost being two year old, I can still clearly remember that day, and that moment when I received it. How it made me feel. How blindly confident I was.

Back then, I never thought I could lose her. I would take everything for granted. Her love, her attention, her care, and I regret it so much.

"Jungkook?" Felix knocks on my door, so I leave my messages and raises my head up. "Yeah?"

"Y/n's here, but I told her she could check the rooms and pick the one she likes the most. Have you already unpacked your stuff?" he asks without opening the door, so I stand up and do it myself to face him. "I haven't yet. She'll probably like this one more."

"Well, I'm gonna ask her, but will you be okay if you have to share a room with me?" he acts like I would have a problem with it when he knows I would never. "Yeah, I'm fine with it. I'd rather do that than know they both sleep in the same bed anyway."

He shows some disapproval as if I had said something wrong. "I thought you wouldn't talk about that."

"Hm. Sorry," I glance to the left at the sound of y/n's voice, and Felix turns around. "Well, I'm gonna talk to her," he walks away but stops after a few steps to set his eyes on me again. "And don't forget. No fight, alright?"

"I know," I stick to our agreement, and he smiles but goes back downstairs.

I do not want to be immature and ruin this vacation for everyone. I am learning to control my anger and jealousy, so I need to keep going that same way and not show to y/n I can be a good person again. Whether she would ever consider me as more than a friend or not, it matters a lot to me.

Knowing she is about to be here to check the rooms, I walk towards the railing and listen to what is happening.

"I got a Gojo body pillow if you want, I just bought it for today," Kaden talks about his anime obsessions to her again, trying hard to influence her. "The one where he has a hand in his pants?" Angelo picks y/n's bag, knowing what he is talking about. "Yeah. I haven't used it, so it's clean, don't worry."

"She doesn't need a dumb body pillow, I'm here," he walks up the stairs to follow Felix and lead the way for her, but Kaden scoffs. "You think you're better than Gojo?"

Watching her go up the stairs, she catches sight of me and makes eye contact, and we both smile at one another. "Hey," I speak to her after some long weeks away from each other. "Hey," her expression brightens, and Felix grasps her attention, but I keep kine over her and check her wrists. To my greatest relief, she is still wearing the bracelet I gifted her. "You can check all the rooms."

"Who doesn't care about getting into a different room?" she does not pick but decides depending on us. "Everyone. You can literally get the room you want. We're okay with it."

"Take mine!" Kaden yells from downstairs like a kid. "I'll sleep with Angelo! It's okay."

"I thought Gojo was better than me," the one in question quotes his own words to reply. "Yeah, but his dick isn't real."

"Too bad. I'm not sharing a bed with a pervert like you," he does not consent but already heads to his usual bedroom. "I'm not a pervert!"

"Don't listen to them, pick the room you want," Felix advices her to ignore the dumb guy and walks downstairs, leaving us both alone. She lays eyes on me shortly after he left, and I slide my hands in my pockets. "You can check my room first if you want. It's more your taste than the others."

"Really?" she comes up to me, so I take her to my room to show her. "I think yeah," I open the door and let her in first, and I close it right behind us. She moves forward and checks both sides, and the bed leads her to it. "It's so pretty," she checks the black linen and turns her head towards the bathroom, of which the walls are made of glass. "Wow. I can't steal that room. You must love it so much."

"No. Take it. I don't care," I shrug, not finding this important at all. I would be happier if she has the room she feels the most comfortable in. "Are you sure? Isn't this the best room? There can't be better, right?"

"I do think I have the best one, but it depends on what you like. Felix like his more because it's more bright, but I like darker bedrooms, so this one if my fav," I speak from my point of view, and she nods but runs her eyes over everything here. "Where are you going to sleep if I pick this one though?"

"I'll sleep in Felix's or Leon's room," I do not hesitate, and her pretty sparkling eyes land on mine. "I'm going to check Kaden's room since it seems like he's the most excited about sharing a room."

"Just get the one you like the most, we all don't care," I step back against the wall once she comes back towards me, and I drop my focus down to her dress. I have already seen her in it. This is not the first time she wears it.

She does not go in the dressing room but stands before me. "Your room is really pretty," she smiles, and I do so. "It's yours unless you pick another one," I open the door and look into her eyes, and she holds her hands behind her back but steps out.

I do the same but notice Angelo is waiting for her while typing on his phone, and she makes her way towards him without being called or told to. I do not try to have her attention anymore but walk down the stairs to leave.

•••

1:10 pm.

The six of us all eating together for lunch, I take my phone out to check a text a friend sent me, and listen to what Kaden is saying. "Alright, so about the beds. You picked my room, right?" he adresses y/n, and she swallows before answering. "No, I'm sleeping in Jungkook's room."

"With him?!" he speaks with his mouth full, not getting anything smart out of it. "Are you doing it on purpose?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Jungkook can have my room since I know he likes to be alone, and I give you my Gojo body pillow and sleep with Angelo every night for two weeks."

"No," Angelo refuses once more, never letting him have what he wants. "You leave me the fuck alone."

"Well, since you're so against it, I'll sleep with y/n. Are you okay with that?" he asks her, and she smiles but shakes her head, cutely rejecting him as well. "Bro. Alright. I knew Gojo was better."

"Because he can't speak or say a thing about it, if he was real, he wouldn't share a bed with you," Leon roasts him and brings him down ever more. "Fuck you. I didn't ask for you opinion."

"Still wanted to share it," he does not feel any remorse, angering Kaden even more. "Anyway. I'll drown myself in the pool tonight."

"Stop being dumb," Felix shuts him up. He does not say anything anymore but eats, and I take a look at y/n, but Angelo puts his empty dish down and drifts his eyes towards her. He drops his arms on the back of her chair and looks away.

I wonder if they are together. I have not seen them kiss once yet, but I cannot help fearing they are.