*Louis' POV*

It seemed so strange to me how one part of something could always be concealed. Take the moon, for example. One side of the moon is always hidden from us; unseen by the human eye, yet not to everything else. Before One Direction, before my name and face was known to most of the population, that's just how I felt. Hidden. I had friends, lots of them, and a large family, too. Yet I felt like a part of me was hidden from not only everyone else, but also myself.

And that part still remained buried somewhere underneath the Louis Tomlinson that the world knew--that my friends knew. I wasn't just some lucky guy who somehow miraculously was given the chance to live his dream, there was more to me that only very few people knew. And I liked it that way. Especially in a building full of people whose identities could not be placed, I felt good.

No one knew who I was. No one had knowledge of my mistakes nor my sorrow, so it almost felt like a fresh start. After spending an entire day just walking about the Big Apple, I felt reluctant when Harry suggested a Masquerade Ball. It honestly sounded like the lamest idea and even though I was (sort of) trying to have fun, my mind didn't stop from lingering to the same place I tried so hysterically to escape. I was tired of trying to do something that seemed damn near impossible. I was tired of trying to be happy when my biggest reason to be had been snatched away.

And then I decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. A Masquerade Ball--where no one would recognize me, where I could blend in and live differently for a night. So that's how I ended up where I was. Surrounded by people with wandering eyes and shielded faces.

I straightened the coat of my tuxedo, watching people mingle with those they had never before seen and very well may never see again. A part of it felt very odd to me. How was it possible to be so comfortable around people who you couldn't even properly identify? And the same question was answered by a thought that repeatedly nagged at my mind. Maybe that was the entire point. No one knew who anyone was, giving everyone the chance to fade into personas in which everything was forgotten. Their secrets locked and kept away for the night, their fears veiled from all.

Perhaps it was because of the atmosphere that I found myself pulling my small journal out from my pocket. I flipped it open to a page kept in place by a small pen and began scribbling, allowing my transfused thoughts to make their way onto paper. I knew that I probably looked very odd then, standing by the snacks bar with a small notebook in my hand, tongue peeked out of the corner of my mouth in concentration as I ignored the hectic environment I was smack in the middle of. I wasn't quite sure of what I was writing, but one thing was certain. I was only thinking of one person the entire time.

Before I even knew what was going on, I felt my journal being taken away from my hands. I was met by a peeved Harry, humor evident in his eyes, which were framed by a blue mask.

"Now's not the time for this," Harry scolded mockingly, tucking my notebook into his own coat's pocket. He threw an arm around my shoulder.

"Can you at least try to have fun? I mean, look at the people here. Be like them, just let loose a little."

It was ironic. Roughly a year ago, that's exactly what I'd be telling everyone else. I was always one to be carefree and I enjoyed every moment, but that was in the past. Even my mask couldn't bring that person back.

I shrugged away from his arm.

"I really have nothing better to do," I said. It was true. Sure, the ball was delightful and the atmosphere pleasant, but there wasn't much for me to do there. I didn't know how to tell Harry that I just wanted to go back to London. Granted, that would only allow me more time for moping, but there wasn't much else I did those days.

"Why don't you ask someone to dance?" Harry suggested, raising his eyebrows. I truthfully saw those words coming and groaned in response.

"I don't want to, Harry, and you know exactly why. I'm going to head back to the car, just bring the lads with you whenever you're done."

Before Harry could protest, I spun on my heel and began heading for the exit. Out of all of the guys, I thought that he understood me most. He should have understood that I hadn't moved on. I still blamed myself for every thing that went wrong and if I knew how, I'd do every damn thing in my power to fix it. But that was the problem. I didn't know how. I tried searching for her, but she obviously didn't want to be found. I admitted that I loved her more than I could ever explain, but my time had ran out. It was no use of admitting it if I couldn't say it to her.

As expected, Harry didn't give up very easily. He came and stood in front of me, blocking me from pushing open the door. He had his eyes fixated on something behind me and a look of recognition flashed across his features only briefly before it was replaced by determination. He set a hand on my shoulder as he spun me around and led me back to the center of the room.

I sighed, giving up on trying to leave the building.

"Why won't you just let me go?" I asked. Harry didn't respond. Instead, his eyes frantically searched the area in front of us for something. I followed his gaze in hopes to figure out what, but my attention was brought to him when he spoke.

"Just ask someone to dance, then I'll let you go!" Even though I didn't understand quite why Harry was so determined on getting me to dance with someone, I didn't argue.

"How about the girl in the green dress?" He nodded over to the bar. I followed his gaze to see the girl as she watched people on the dance floor. She was wrapped in a short emerald dress, unaccompanied by anyone else.

"Harry--"

"The girl in the pink dress next to her, she seems like she'd be a good dancer."

This time, I didn't even look to see who he was talking about. I wanted out of the building, growing more aggravated by his suggestions.

"Harry, I don't want to dance with anyone," I urged, explaining it to him as if he was a small, stubborn child. I was getting ready to actually leave the building that time, before he spoke yet again. But this time, Harry wasn't as enthusiastic nor was he loud. This time, his voice was a mere whisper and his eyes wide in shock, fixated on someone behind me.

"Not even her?" He asked, seeming as if he was in some sort of daze. Confused by the sudden change in mood, I craned my head to see who he was looking so dreamingly at.

At first I didn't see her. And when I did, it was like a punch to the gut. Even though she was turned around so that I couldn't see her face, she stood out from everyone else around her. I didn't know what seemed so familiar about the girl until I paid more attention to her dress.

A maroon silk wrapped tightly around her torso, splaying out into a dome that concealed her legs. I felt as if the air had been knocked right out of my body, my throat dry and lips frozen.

I watched, aghast, memories from ten months ago flooding my mind much too violently. I'd dreamt many times what it'd be like to see Charlotte again. I dreamt about her alluring smile and the hazel eyes that captured my attention so easily when they met mine. I dreamt about being with her and holding her close, telling her all that I never got the chance to. And now she stood only a few feet away from me, clad in the same dress she had worn at my engagement ball. I still had not seen her face, but I didn't need to in order to know it was her.

She was looking down at her dress with a paper towel in her hand, wiping away at what could have been a spill just above her waist. Her hair was short and straight, which made me doubt myself the smallest bit, but that feeling evaded me when she did turn around for the briefest second. The upper half of her face was shielded by a blood red mask, one that concealed but failed to hide her greatest treasure: the hazel eyes I had fallen in love with.

Her lips were parted as she turned back around and focused on something on the other side of the room, her head bobbing up and down ever so slightly to the rhythm of the music. I watched in wonder, only wishing that she had turned around far enough to see me, too. It was hard to ignore the overwhelming desire I felt to rush over and speak to her right then. To fall to the ground in apologies and to declare my feelings for her.

"Ha--Harry?" Finally, I found the strength to choke out a lone word.

"Go," Harry only nudged me in her direction, the smile on his lips bigger than I had ever before seen. Then it hit me. The out-of-the-blue trip to New York, it was for a reason, wasn't it? And the masquerade ball, which was Harry's idea? There was no way that any of this was a coincidence.

"You knew...but how?" I said to Harry, keeping my eyes fixated on the girl in front of me. It felt like if I looked away, even for a mere split second, she would no longer be there. I felt my heart rate quicken, my stomach doing back-flips as I tried to get a look at her face.

"Does it really matter?" Harry asked, his voice raising with excitement. "Now go ask her to dance, before I do."

No, it didn't matter. All that mattered then was Charlotte. All that mattered was that I was being offered a second chance. A chance to fill the vacancies that had been carved out of my body. A chance to find myself after loosing myself far too many times.

"And Louis?" Harry added after I had unknowingly taken a step towards Charlotte. I looked at him over my shoulder, the anticipation, excitement, and nervousness making my stomach churn.

"This time, bring her home."

*

*Charlotte's POV*

"I don't know how I should feel about this..."

I mumbled, picking at the seams at the waist of my dress. Just looking at the dress brought about memory after memory, every little moment that I tried so hard to forget came crashing back, dragging me down until I hit rock-bottom of an undesired reality. And actually putting the dress on brought me an extreme sense of deja vu.

Here I was yet again, in the same dress, headed to yet another ball. The only things that set apart this night from that one could have been that my before long and curly hair was now straightened and so short that it curled inwards right below my chin. and this time, I didn't have my best friend as my date.

I heard Rose sigh from where she was beside me in the driver seat. She had urged me to go out and buy another dress, but I didn't want to. This event only lasted one night, so it shouldn't have been that hard to survive a few hours in the dress. No matter how much I insisted on it, Rose refused to accompany me at the ball. I wouldn't know anyone, so what was there for me to do?

"You should feel happy! Just go in there and have fun, sweetheart, because I'm tired of seeing you like this." The wrinkles by her eyes became more prominent as she smiled warmly at me. The entire time we had been away from home, Rose was encouraging me to go out and live. I tried to explain to her that I was tired of doing just that. The old me was ready for adventure in the blink of an eye. I wanted to go out and experience new things and learn things, but after doing just that, I was tired of it. I had grown a lot more mature, my decisions made by not the influence of my heart, but my mind solely. Ten months was a long time, after all.

I only nodded and reached into my purse, my hands in search for my contacts. Staying hidden from the public involved changing my look. Before Rose and I departed London for New York, I got an extremely short haircut and dark contacts that gave transformed me into someone who looked very different. Even though I could still be recognized by those that were close to me, no one else would actually figure out my true identity.

"Don't put those on tonight," Rose said once I pulled out my case. Before I could question her, she spoke again.

"No one will recognize you with the mask."

It was true. I strapped the maroon plastic mask around my head, and nodded in approval once I saw my reflection.

"Now go," Rose reached over my seat and opened the door. "I'll pick you up in this same spot at eleven."

I didn't trust myself to speak because I knew that it would be in protest. Nodding courtly, I pushed open the door and stepped out of the vehicle, goosebumps immediately emerging onto the bare skin on my arms.

"Charlotte?"

I ducked my head back in the car and looked at Rose, who only smiled knowingly at me. She had been acting strange the entire day, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her why. My mind was still occupied with troubles too many, so I pushed the thought away every time it occurred.

"Have fun tonight."

With just that and another smug smile, Rose drove off into the falling darkness. The sun was only just setting and now, I'd be forced to spend hours at a place where I knew no one. With each step towards the hall, I dreaded the night even more. It was difficult to keep reminding myself that I was doing this for Rose when I couldn't stop thinking about the reason I was in New York in the first place.

My feet led me to the entrance of the building, where couples were chatting animatedly. The entrance was surrounded by a garden that was home to variant types of flowers, each exquisite in their own way, making me wish I had my camera with me. Before leaving the apartment, Rose had convinced me to come to the Ball without it, saying that I'd have no use for it at a place like this. WIth a lingering look still on the flowers, I took a deep breath and stared at the doors in front of me. And for a while, I just stood there. It felt like if I opened these doors, I would be met by the same spiraling staircase I was ten months ago. That on my way descending the stairs, I'd be met by the same magnificent blue eyes. This feeling failed too evade me until I hesitantly pushed the large doors open and saw that there was no staircase. And there was no Louis.

My breathing came in steadier intervals as I carefully walked into the building. I felt eyes on me, but ignored them as I cast my gaze downward onto the marble floor. I had no idea where I was going and only hoped that I didn't look like an absolute fool without anyone to accompany me. No more than a minute later, I ended up right next to a glorious fountain. In the dead center was a sculpture of a baby cupid, the entire theme of the ball making me sick to my stomach. With Valentine's Day nearing, the only word on any person's lips was love. And that was enough for my stomach to churn with an uneasy feeling.

I stood, quite awkwardly may I add, for about ten minutes. A part of me hoped that someone would approach me and try to make conversation, since I was too nervous to do it myself. But no one did. I didn't blame them. After all, what guy would want to approach a girl who seemed so boring? So gaurded and unreachable? I could only last another five minutes in the room before my will power ran its fuse. I pulled out my cell phone and made a call to Rose, but she didn't pick up. I sent her message after message, trying to figure out how to get out of this building and back home.

In the midst of making me fifth phone call to Rose, I was sent staggering towards the fountain because of someone who had roughly bumped into me. I stopped myself just before I would have toppled into the water and snapped my head around to face the person.

"I'm so, so sorry," he uttered strings of apologies, his eyes on my waist the entire time. I looked down and saw that not only had he bumped into me, but half of his drink had spilled over my dress. I tried not to swear as I looked up to talk to the person, but every bit of frustration was replaced by curiosity when I met his bright blue eyes, which were framed by a black mask. Not only were those features strikingly familiar, but his spiked blonde hair and crooked smile made me feel like I had officially gone mad. There was no way that this person could be Niall, so he probably looked enough like him that my mind found the perfect opportunity to play tricks on me.

I finally cleared my throat.

"No, it's okay, don't worry." My voice felt detached from my body as I continued to stare at his astounding eyes, which held an awful amount of humor. The boy only nodded and chuckled lightly before walking away, not without shooting me a glance over his shoulder.

As soon as he was out of sight, my hand flew to my forehead. It wasn't warm, so I obviously didn't have a temperature, which ruled out the explanation that I had been hallucinating. With the strange person still in mind, I headed to the snacks bar, where there was a stand of paper towels.

 It was hard to weave through the people who were gathering onto the dance floor, but once I made it, I ignored the peeved looks I was receiving and rubbed away at the stain on my dress with a paper towel. With every growing second, I just wanted to leave the hell hole. Rose hadn't contacted me back, so needless to say, I grew more agitated than even before.

I gave up when the stain was refusing to even fade, turning around to toss away the useless napkin. The only thing to do now was to hope I didn't too awkward standing by the snack bar alone while everyone else scurried to the center of the room for a dance. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched couples sway side to side. My hatred for the night only grew when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I didn't like being cold to people who were nice enough to approach me, but I was tired enough from the fact that Rose wouldn't pick up my damn calls and I was probably going insane. I reluctantly spun on my heel, a part of me wondering it was the same guy who had bumped into me.

But all thoughts of the Niall look-alike fled my mind when my eyes were met by a pair of sapphire jewels. My breath hitched in my throat and I blinked several times, but he was still there. The holes in his blue mask were just big enough so that I could see the crinkles at the corners of his eyes as he smiled warmly at me. I couldn't bring myself to do as much as speak, or breath for that matter. It couldn't be Louis. There was no way that the boy standing in front of me was Louis.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to bang my head on a wall. First, I had thought I had seen Niall. And now a person who held a striking resemblance to Louis was standing right before me.

"Hi."

That one word was all it took for reality to come crashing down on me. That really was Niall. And this person who stood only inches away from me was Louis. My mind wasn't playing tricks on me, but in that moment, I was wishing that it had been. Everything I had tried to escape from was standing right in front of me, and it was just as easy to say that everything I had ever longed for was only a few inches away. I squeezed my eyes shut and reopened them to see that Louis was still there. He seemed just as astounded, but only waited for me to say something.

But I couldn't. I couldn't snatch my gaze from his and I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that he was actually there. And maybe it was because of the fact that even ten months couldn't change the part of me that tended to run away from her problems that I found myself turning around and running as fast as I could in my heels towards the nearest door.

I was forced to shove people away in hysteria as I heard the same voice calling from me only a small distance behind me. Louis was following, I was certain. But I couldn't stop. I wanted to run and run even though I had no idea where I was going. I wanted all of the games to stop and I just wanted to rid myself of the feelings that were bubbling their way to the surface. The same feelings I had forcefully pushed down were then there, as prominent as ever.

I struggled to reach the door, but when I did, I didn't hesitate in swinging it wide open and stepping out into the cold atmosphere. I didn't know where to turn, since the door ended up being a back exit, and Louis was probably right on my tail. I didn't exactly know why I was running from him, the only thing I could feel then being the rawness in my throat caused by the terrible and overwhelming urge to cry and the way my stomach twisted in knots. I decided to turn right and took off my heels, which allowed me to move faster, but the gigantic dress I was sporting remained an obstacle. 

Then I spotted it. 

A large pavilion, only a few meters down from where I stood. I craned my neck and looked back, where I could see Louis' silhouette in the dark alley. His hands were on his head as he paced a small distance, probably debating the direction he'd go in. I took it as my chance.

Still, I was confused.

Why was I running from Louis?

Isn't this what I've wanted all along?

To be with him?

Then why was it so hard to face him? 

I didn't realize I was crying until I reached the pavilion. It was small and lit dimly by bulbs that were fusing out. I almost collapsed onto the ground if it wasn't for the post that was right beside me. My hands wrapped around the wood, ignoring the fact that its surface was wet. And I soon found myself leaning on the fence of the pavilion, facing the streets of New York.

Louis was here. The past ten months were spent in wondering how it would be if I ever reunited with him. I only wondered--not for a single second believing that it would actually happen. Before leaving the engagement ball, I had told Harry that my leave was only temporary. And that made me wonder what he thought of me. I was a liar. A sick and sad person who couldn't do as much as figure out herself. I didn't know why I was sitting there, with my hands entangled in my hair and tears falling uncontrollably down my cheeks. I didn't know why I had choked up when Louis greeted me in the building. I didn't know anything anymore and the very fact was driving me insane with every passing second. 

I was a girl who was so in love with the idea of being in love that I gave everything away. I gave him my heart, my mind, and my undivided attention, receiving little in return. It was selfish and wrong to think that way, but sometimes, the truth proved to be the most twisted one. 

I folded my arms onto the wooden top of the posts and stared in front of me at nothing but the everlasting darkness, which was lit sort of beautifully by the city lights. My hands went to wipe the tears that were staining my cheeks, but I felt a plastic material instead. I took the mask off and didn't give it a second glance before tossing it into the darkness in front of me. It felt like I was tossing away a part of me that was always resistent to the dreary truth that I was in love. Even after ten months, I loved him and I hated myself for it. I was aware that I wanted Louis to find me and I kind of hated myself for that, too. There wasn't a single way that I could lie and say that I wasn't glad to see him tonight. 

But I couldn't quite explain how I felt when heard the panting of someone behind me. I did panic a little, knowing that there was no way out of the pavilion now.

So I gave up. For what very well could have been the thousandth time in my life, I gave in to the boisterous pleads of my somewhat steadfast heart. I stopped crying, but I didn't turn around. My swollen eyes remained on the moving cars on the road ahead.

And I waited. 

I knew he was there. I could feel his presence, but he did not say anything. We didn't look at each other. He only came to stand next to me, his hands on the fence so close to mine. My heart did back-flips in my chest, despite the many times I tried to calm my breathing. 

So I waited. 

I waited for him to say something, but words evaded the both of us. 

I waited for the sound of his voice to shatter the seemingly glass barrier of silence like he always did, the shards of the broken entity soon resembling our hearts. They belonged together yet the universe did everything in its power to keep them apart. 

But nothing. So deciding that maybe it was my turn to speak, to explain, I opened my mouth. However, before any words could come out, I felt a heavy silk material being draped over my bare shoulders. Butterflies erupted in my stomach when I realized that Louis had once again given me his coat. Wasn't it funny? Even after nearly a year of trying to forget him, my heart knew just how to make me feel when he behaved so sweetly. 

I didn't protest, instead, I hugged the coat tighter around myself. The entire scene reminded me of the night that we had first met. It had gone something like this one. I was in a dress and freezing my ass off. Louis was in a tuxedo and now that he had given me his coat, probably freezing as well. 

"Why are you here?"

"Why did you leave?" 

The two of us blurted the questions at the same time. I cast my eyes downward, failing to meet his because I knew what they were capable of. Unraveling every secret I tried to hide. 

"Ladies first," Louis urged, a small smile playing on his lips. He then looked away and that's when I noticed the small stubble standing on his chin. His eyes shined bright, their power no longer being subdued by the mask, which was nowhere to be seen. 

"Why are you here?" I repeated after a moment of silence. Quite honestly, I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't just keep quiet, so I spoke what was on my mind. 

Louis laughed, the action coming as somewhat of a shock to me. He turned so he was facing me, his gaze fixed onto mine with so much intensity that my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. And he took a step closer.

"Why am I here?" he repeated, his tone dripping with sarcasm, as if my question had offended him, "Why am I here, Char? I was hoping you'd be able to answer that for me. Why haven't I been able to stop thinking about you? Why can't I eat and why can't I sleep? Why, ever since I met you, am I so utterly confused?"

Taken aback by his sudden outburst, I moved a step back, gulping in the process. Was all of this true? His situation sounded so much like mine that it was scary. I thought I was the only one going insane either with or without him, but it wasn't true. 

"Why am I such a mad man when it comes to you?" He inched closer, his voice softening so drastically that it almost seemed like it was trembling. 

"Because I love you, Char." 

My head snapped in his direction and all I saw was all I've ever wanted to see. Sincerity in Louis' eyes as he told me what he had been meaning to say for a while now. And the five words he uttered that night were enough to make me happy for the rest of my life.

Louis loved me. 

"So much that it confused me to no extent. Truth is, I was scared. I had never experienced affection so strong before that it scared me. Isn't something with such power equally as destructive? So I tried to keep things the way they were. With Eleanor and I, I mean. I was so scared of change that I didn't realize I was battling my own happiness, Char."

"So why am I here tonight? I'm here to apologize. I messed up, I screwed up so badly and I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you in every way that I did and I'll beg if it means that you'll let me make it up to you." 

Louis was now so close to me that I could feel his warm breath fan onto my face. I didn't know what to make of his words, so I decided it'd be best not to say anything yet. It was a lot to take in, yet with every word that Louis was saying, I felt the way I wanted to my entire life. Loved--cared for. 

"Your turn." It was all I could bring myself to say, yet it seemed like enough when Louis nodded and stepped back. He ran a hand through his hair, which had grown much too long. Not before running his tongue over his bottom lip, he spoke. 

"Why did you leave?" 

A sigh of despair escaped my lips. 

"I was tired. I saw you love her everyday, Lou, and I was tired of feeling hurt every time. I wanted to believe that you cared for me as much as you said you did, but it was hard to when you couldn't properly choose. It felt like you were juggling the both of us, not realizing that in order to keep one, you'd have to drop the other. I felt like your second choice, like you didn't care for me, not the way I cared about you."

Louis' hand was soon on my cheek, wiping away the tears that kept falling. I cast my eyes downward as I spoke in a whisper that was difficult for him to hear. 

"It felt like a punch right in the stomach every time you were with her. And then I couldn't bear it anymore. I needed to save myself before I got too lost, so I left. No, I ran. Like the coward I am, Louis, I ran."

I shrugged away from his hold, feeling humiliated that I was once again crying, and turned around so he wouldn't be able to see my face. I was revealing every one of my secrets to him and a part of me was so afraid of being judged. Did he think I was pathetic? Petty?

"If anyone's the coward, Char, it's me," Louis' voice grew louder as he stepped around me so that we were face to face again. "I should have told you how I felt from the start, and I'm so, so sorry." 

I laughed bitterly. 

"It's too late now for the both of us, isn't it?" How could we possibly be together now? After everything that had happened, was there truly a way to be with each other? To live in a world in which there was only happiness, in a paradise where we only had each other?

"It's never too late, Char, I can promise you that." Judging from the certainty in his voice, Louis was confident in his words. But after two years of constant heart break, I learned that trusting something even as simple as a sentence shouldn't come too easily. 

"How do you know?" My voice was trembling and regardless of the warmth Louis' coat brought me, I shivered when his hand engulfed mine. 

"I once told you that not a thousand languages can be used to explain how I feel about you. Do you remember that?" He asked. 

Of course I remembered. I remembered every word of that conversation perfectly, like it was only yesterday and not an entire year ago. I nodded, and Louis continued. 

"I know now that I don't need a thousand languages. I just need you and I need time. I'll make this better, I'll fix everything if you'd just give me the chance." 

I believed him. I believed him with every ounce of my being, but he couldn't possibly think that it was that easy, could he?

"What about Eleanor?" I asked. One of the reasons I thought that this wouldn't work was because of the guilt that would probably eat me alive. Eleanor had her heart broken worse than I could ever imagine and for the same thing to happen to her again was terrible. Especially if I had a hand in it. 

"She told me everything. From her previous engagement to what you told her--everything. And she was a chapter of my life, Char. Maybe we did care for each other, but that was only for a little bit. It ended long before I met you and Eleanor agrees. She was just a mere chapter Char, and you're the rest of the story." 

"What about the media? People will talk." 

"Let them." 

"We're crazy to think that this will actually work, Lou."

"We'd be crazy not to try." 

He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close. Closer than I'd ever dreamed. And this time, I believed him when he said it. He would never let me go. 

It's kind of ironic, isn't it? I was just a girl who happened to be in the right place at the right time. I was just a broken girl who was lucky enough to have someone like Louis stumble into my life. What felt like forever ago, I was sitting in a cold, dark, alley, with a lit cigarette in between my fingers as I watched a couple in a pavilion. They were obviously madly in love.

 Even though I was sitting a good distance away from them, I could tell they were. The distance didn't hinder what their relationship seemed to be. Because up close, I would have been able to see the flaws. The way the girl didn't like it when the guy left his socks on the couch. Or the way the guy hated her newly dyed hair. From afar, I could only tell one thing about their relationship and it was the only thing that mattered. They were in love. 

And so was I. 

Never did I think that admitting that I was in love would come with such a feeling. Every past time, it felt like a burden, like a curse. But it took me a while to discover that it was just life. That life was the game, happiness the destination and love the determination. That these three things were much like something I'd held in my hands so many times before. Like a camera. So think about it this way:

To work a camera, you must first insert a reel. To be happy, you must first take risks--make sacrifices. To then capture a picture, there has to be a disturbing flash. And life proved to have many obstacles for me, but the challenge was always the same. To find friends, family, and things worth living for and use them as determination. To strive through life with only one hope. To hope that the flash of the camera doesn't leave me helplessly blinded.

 *

(a/n) this chapter is unedited and it's extremely late where I am, so please excuse any mistakes.

So that was my surprise! A DOUBLE UPDATE! two chapters in one night, baby. Cause I'm awesome ;) hah.

so I hope you liked the ending! Hopefully, this was a grand finale and you guys enjoyed it! Only an epilogue left, so stay tuned! And I'll also be posting an extremely long and emotional author's note when I'm not half asleep and a page of acknowledgements. Please comment if you liked this chappie and remember that I love you guys to the moon and back.