Chapter 18 - Reality

*Niall's POV*

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"Eleanor Jane Calder. Will you marry me?"  

My grasp loosened and the bottle of water that was in my hand clattered to the ground. My, no doubt, shocked, gaze darted to the stage where Louis, with his hope-filled eyes, was gazing up at his girlfriend. 

Eleanor emitted a sharp gasp, along with the rest of the hall, and placed her hands over her mouth. It took her no more than a few seconds to nod and jump into Louis' arms, which were ready to embrace her.

It all happened so fast. Louis gently slid the glistening diamond ring onto Eleanor's finger and hugged her tightly. Cheers echoed through the room, cheers from everyone but the boys and I.  

I looked to Zayn and Harry, who were standing next to me. Their expressions mirrored mine. Their mouths were agape and I could tell that the same question that was running through my mind was racing through theirs. What was Louis thinking? Sure, Louis and Eleanor had been dating for a while now, but we knew for a fact that Louis wasn't in love with her. We knew better than anyone that the love that may have resided in their hearts in the past for no longer existed. Louis was fooling himself into believing that this was what he wanted. He was oblivious. Oblivious to how much he changes around her, of how much of a different person he becomes. We had lost our Louis. We had lost our older brother, the one that wasn't afraid to be mischievous, to have fun. He changed. He changed into someone Eleanor wanted him to be, but someone we didn't recognize. And didn't want to recognize. 

The past few weeks had been different though. Louis was Louis. He was the older boy that acted as if he was the youngest. He spent more time with us, he was himself. The day he met Charlotte, we all saw change in him. He was Louis again. Charlotte changed him. She brought him back.  

Charlotte. 

I abruptly spun around and scanned the room for her. My eyes finally landed on the heart broken brunette.  

Danielle had both hands on either side of Charlotte's shoulders. She was comforting her, something that she needed now more than ever. Danielle's gaze met mine and she shot me a pleading look. My feet instantly began moving towards Dani and Char. As politely as I could, I pushed through the massive amount of people that were inconveniently gathered between the two girls and I. They were all staring at the stage, also not expecting this to be the night the birthday boy got engaged.  

Finally reaching the two girls, I caught a glance of Charlotte's tear-stained face. I felt someone nudge my left arm and looked to see Liam was next to me, his face holding much worry and sympathy.  

*Charlotte's POV* 

He's engaged. Louis is engaged. To Eleanor.  

"Char, will you please just listen to me?" Danielle's pleading voice was like a buzz to my ear. Her worried brown eyes bore into mine, wanting to get no more than a reaction. A twitch of my lips. A blink of my eyes. Yet, the heart staking pain left me paralyzed. I didn't dare open my mouth, knowing I wouldn't be able to speak through the choking sobs that would beat my voice.  

I was never good with shock. I was never good at hiding my emotions, at conjuring a believable smile. 

I lifted my head to see three worried faces staring down at me. Liam and Niall both opened their mouths to speak, but the rest of the hall exploded into cheers and clapping. I looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. My gaze landed on the engaged couple on stage. They were sharing a loving kiss, something I could bear no more. Everyone around us was standing up, creating commotion, meaning no one would notice if I slipped out of the hall. 

I snatched my arm away from Danielle and turned around. Liam and Niall called out behind me, but I kept walking at a fast pace. I tripped over my heels a few times, didn't dare let that slow me down.  Soon enough, when the door to the back doow came into sight, I broke out into a run.

"Charlotte, wait!" Niall's Irish accent was recognizable through the raucous. I glanced back and saw Liam and Niall pushing through the crowd, trying to catch up to me. They got caught between a few people, giving me yet another head start. I turned back around, but not fast enough. My right foot collided with the snack table, causing the pitchers of drinks to topple over and stain my beloved white dress. I groaned and ignored the jolting pain that ran up my right leg.  

Instead, I half limped, half ran the rest of the distance to the back door. Nobody was paying attention to me. No one noticed the broken girl that was trying to leave the hall, to save the last bit of her heart that was left unbroken.

Finally reaching the door, I harshly pulled it open and stepped out into the cold, chilling winter night. I closed the door behind me and fiddled with my shoes. I unstrapped the heels and threw them to the side, gasping when I saw my ankle was swollen.  

The sound of the door opening behind me caused me to forget about my ankle and feet to race, to carry my body down the dimly lit alley. This wasn't what Christmas Eve was supposed to be like. It was supposed to consist of smiles, of reunion, but instead, it was heart break and only heart break.

"Char, you need to listen!" Liam shouted. He was dangerously close behind me and I was sure Niall wasn't far behind. The pads of my feet stung as the rough pavement scarred them. My lungs were struggling to catch a breath, making my tired legs slow down. 

"Charlotte!" Niall voice was right next to my ear. He grabbed a hold of my arm, bringing me to a dreaded stop. He panted tiredly and held my arm firmly, so his strong grasp prevented me from pulling away.  

"Charlotte.." Liam breathed from next to Niall. I didn't dare meet their eyes, keeping my gaze down on my feet.  

"You're hurt.." Liam tried reaching down to examine my ankle, but I briskly pulled away.  

"Did you.. Did you know Louis was going to propose?" Niall asked, unsure. For the first time, I lifted my head to meet his gaze. His face held a mix of sympathy and sorrow and Liam's expression was nothing less than a replica. Niall's sky blue eyes investigated my hazel ones, finding the answer he was anticipating when I blinked a few tears away.

I nodded solemnly and took a step back into the shadow formed by the two walls, trying to hide my face, which held a mixture of many emotions, from the two boys. The light above me flickered, making my teary eye twitch. I watched the light as it flickered on and off a few more times, until, finally, the fused bulb was put out of its misery and the only essence of light remaining was the gleam of the night's crescent moon. I choked back a sob and looked away when Liam's gaze met mine. 

"Listen, Charlotte.. I'm sorry--"  

"Sorry?! Why the hell are you sorry Liam? Louis is your best friend, and he just got engaged. If anything, you should be happy for him." I crossed my arms over my chest and watched Liam's expression change from sympathetic to an irritated one. 

"Don't try that with me, Charlotte. I know the truth, I know how you feel about Louis." Liam briefly glanced at Niall, obviously unaware of the fact that Niall also knew the truth until then. Liam met my eyes again and his expression softened. "But Charlotte, just hear me out please. Louis doesn't love Eleanor--" 

"That would be why he just proposed to her ten minutes ago." The sarcastic remark left my mouth without warning. I didn't like using that tone with my friends. Especially not Liam. But the sad thing was that it was the truth. Liam couldn't just say that Louis wasn't in love with Eleanor, not when they just got engaged.

"You don't understand!" Niall's agitated voice startled me. "Charlotte, please, you don't know what it's like anymore." His voice softened as he took a step closer, but shot me a disappointed look when he saw me take a step backwards. 

"No, Niall. You don't understand. Do you have any idea how hard it is, Niall? To watch someone you've loved since the first second you saw them declare their love for another person? It's like standing helplessly at the sidelines, Niall." My voice arose with every word. "Watching your heart get carried away by a person so innocent, so unaware of the pain their actions are causing? You turn to them, expecting them to give you their heart in exchange of yours. But now that's not exactly the case, is it?"

The tears that were falling for several minutes remained unwiped, but the surprising thing was, I had stopped crying. Niall and Liam watched me, clearly not knowing how to react. I did feel bad for snapping like that at them when all they were doing was trying to help, but I couldn't help it. Every sentence, every word that had remained bottled up inside me for weeks didn't bother to hesitate from being blurted out right that moment. My voice broke as I spilled my heart out. "No, it's not. One fact was all it took, all that was needed for my fantasies to come spiraling down, to plummet their way down to the cruelest of realities. To realize that his heart's already taken. He's already in love with someone, Niall, someone that he's happy with. Someone... that can never be me." 

Liam stepped forward and tried to wrap me into a hug, something I would appreciate under different circumstances. This time, I didn't need a hug. I just wanted to go home, to go back to my house and bury myself into my blankets. To be rid of this heart break, something I didn't know how to handle, something I wanted to forget. I knew that soon enough, my emotions would die down. Soon enough, I'd learn how to handle it, to get over the fact that Louis and Eleanor were soon to be married. 

Niall opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dragging you two into this, for being so stupid. You should go, they're probably looking for you. I just.. I need some time." It took all that was in me to give the two a small smile, one that was meant to reassure them that I'd be just fine.

Niall and Liam still looked unconvinced and instead of turning around and going back into the hall like I had hoped, Liam spoke up. "I'm sorry, Charlotte. We're so sorry, you don't deserve this. Just tell me one thing. How can you cope with it, how come you're not fighting for him?" Liam's words surprised me, but I knew exactly how to answer him. 

"I can't fight for something that was never mine, Liam." And for what seemed like the thousandth time in my life, I spun on my heels and walked away from my problem. For the thousandth time, I unknowingly let my happiness go for the sake of what I thought was Louis' happiness. I had allowed my only weakness to destroy me, to pick me apart until there was nothing left to destroy. I promised myself something that night. I promised myself that I'd be happy for Louis, for Eleanor. I'd stop being a burden to the boys and Danielle. I'd stop letting my hear get in the way of reality. I knew I could never really stop loving Louis, but I could try. I could try for the boys, for Louis, for myself.

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:((( Well that was sad.. leave your comments, guys! By this time, the story is at 30,000 reads... to say I'm speechless is such an understatement! thank you guys so much for voting and commenting also, it means so much :) -Aysha

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