Chapter 13

For everyone who doesn't feel heard, it may by true or something our mind has let us creat. This false sense of reality where everyone in perfect, where poor people have it horrible and rich people have it amazing. It's all false, and this social norm we created of people is so messed up. People has skeletons, everywhere. It can be the sweet old librarian who works at the main library in town, the old man who always walks his dog in the morning and waves his hand at the school bus. It can be the pretty girl in the bathroom stall with a pregnancy test that reads positive, it can be the boy who rolls up one dollar bills to snort his sister, who has cancer, opiates'. It can be anyone. And for me, it's the girl who lived in the rich, gated community with a loving and supporting family. The family who would go to church every Sunday, a white picket fence, good grades, nice clothes, going to malls with your friends every Friday. I truly had it all. However, people will realize their life isn't perfect and it's actually shit once they dive deep into the clandestine meetings their family holds. People will subconsciously know their life isn't perfect until they have to come face to face with their issues. People won't realize until the shadow that follows them around confronts them.
People aren't perfect.
And I've had to learn that the hard way.

It's December 31, the sky is still. The world is still. I'm still.
The New Years spirit isn't in the air as it should be, it's hidden within the fog. People are away visiting relatives and we are in a house by a highway with no busy cars. The air feels clean, but it's so still.
"Good morning." I hear my mom as she cracks open my door with a cup of coffee.
"Morning." I tell her while staring out the window. I turn towards her and she's still standing by the door as if she's expecting me to say anything else, she glances at the letters I hid under a pile of books on my vanity.
"What's this?" She moves towards the vanity and right as she's about the move the books I pull them away.
"Bailey!"
"Mom, it's fine, stop worrying." She gives me a glare,
"Seriously, they're nothing. It's old letters from Ian." I make up a quick lie, she nods her head which follows by a "mhm"
I roll my eyes and toss them on my bed.
"Come sit." She says as she places herself on the edge of my bed. I sit across from her and she pulls out old pictures of dad.
"Look at this one, this was your first time swimming." She says with a smile and slides it to the bottom of the pile.
"You and Ian at Disney for the first time." She points at my Disney hat. I was like twelve at this time.
"This was when you were going to high school as a freshman and you were all worried, but dad made it feel better by taking you to your favorite restaurant down the street." She tells me, I can see how my eyes were welling in that picture, I didn't want to go to high school. It sucks anyways.
"Thanksgiving. It was when a blizzard was happening, and it was only us four." She pulls the other one out of the pile, this was last year, who knew when a month passed he would be missing. She stared at the card for a while and started tearing up.
"I miss us." She whimpers. I look at her, her eyes still fixated on the card. I sniffle.
"Yeah." I mummer.
"Well, today is about forgiveness and coming to terms with your actions, it's a new year, Bailey." Mom gets up and leaves the cards laying on my nightstand and walks out. I stare at my wall for a second until Andrew comes in holding a blunt.
"You want?" He says and I nod my head and reach over to take it. I start puffing on it, I'm not used to smoking so it kinda takes me aback when I puff on it for too long. I cough and immediately feel a buzz.
"You can keep it if you want." Ian says, I look at him weird.
"No, and you can't go a day without it anyways." I respond to him, I hold my hand out with the blunt for him to take. He nods his head and walks out, I open my window and toss it out onto the highway.
"Ian!" I follow him, but he's already shutting the door in my face.
"Open it." I tell him. I knock on the door until he finally opens it.
"What the hell do you want."
"Why did you want me to keep it?" I asked, crossing my arms. His foot starts tapping.
"I'm quitting." He says. I raise an eyebrow.
"Are you actually quitting?" I ask for reassurance.
"Yes."
"I'm so happy for you!" I say as I jump onto him.
"Alright, alright." He says.
"I'm so happy." I let him know for reassurance, because I know how bad addiction can be. I run downstairs and I see my mom drinking wine. Wine.
"Mom. It's 11 am."
"I know, it's a hard day." She tells me while taking a sip.
I wish Ian was here, I literally have no friends. I think I'll call him.

I dial his number into the phone and stand there for a while before I press call. With a sigh, the phone starts humming.
"Hey, it's Ian, I'm not by a phone right now. Leave a message."
I sigh, that actually pisses me off.
"Hey Ian, it's Bailey and I wanted you to know that I wish you a happy new years. I hope we can get over this." I hang up.
What a douche bag.

8:00, Pm.
For the whole day I've done nothing. I took a long shower and then read.
"Mom, what's for dinner?" I yell. She doesn't answer. I run downstairs and she's by the island mixing some type of pasta.
"It's our New Years dinner." She says with a smile.
"Great." I tell her, as I start heading upstairs a man knocks on the door and leaves a package.
"Would you please get that!" Mom yells. I open the door and watch the man drive away in his truck. A letter. I take it off the porch and slowly open it, revealing a time.
"12 o'clock, meet me at the river" It reads. I gaze at it for a while. I swear if this is some elaborate joke. I tuck in my waist band and head upstairs.
I grab my notes I hid, again, in a shoe box and pour them out onto my bed. Each one has a different message.
"Two."
I got that one two days ago.
Shit.
I got that one two days ago. That was a sign.
I look through all the other ones, but they all read something like, "It wasn't your fault." And than some were longer, just telling me to be tranquil about things.
This has to be a joke.
"Dinners ready!" My mom calls us down. Me and Andrew both head downstairs and our mom set up the kitchen table with a bunch of food, candles and nice napkins.
"What's all this for?" I ask admiring the decor.
"The last meal." She says with a smile.
"At this house, of course." She adds on a second later. Me and Andrew both giggle, a fake giggle, but still a giggle.
"Well, sit yourselves." She pours us red wine and we both take a seat next to each other.
"Now, let's pray." She grabs Andrews hand as he grabs mine. We all recite the Our Father and start poking at our food.
"It's like he's with us right now." Mom says, looking at the fourth chair empty however there's a plate of food right there. I feel like she's lost her mind.
"We are just gonna have fun tonight and watch the ball drop, I have some board games downstairs if anyone wants to play anything." Ian and I look at each other with weird looks, mom doesn't notice as she drinks her wine, pours it, drinks her wine. Neglecting the food on my plate, I stare outside the window, it's dark. 12 o'clock. I remember in my head.

2 and a half hours passed, mom cleaned up dinner and me and Ian are sitting on the bed waiting until the ball drops.
"11:30" reads the clock. I should get going.
"Hey mom!" I yell downstairs, she comes up with a box.
"Yes?"
"I'm gonna head out, I just have to take a walk and clear my mind."
"Totally fine." She says. I step out into the cold and start the car. I didn't even realize it was snowing until my car lights turned on. It's snowing hard. As I drive, a sense of apprehensiveness enters my mind a couple times, what if it's someone who wants to hurt me. My stomach starts to hurt as I park in the driveway. I grab my flashlight and get out of the car. There's no car in the driveway or anything. I continue to walk to the lake, the big trees cover the moon creating shadows that look like monsters.
"Hello?" I shout. This has to be a prank. I look around and step further into the woods, leaving behind the lake until a twig snaps. I freeze, I beam my flashlight towards the direction I heard the twig snap. No one is there. I walk forward to the lake until my feet are at the edge of the ground, I see my reflection in the water and gaze at myself for a couple minutes.
"Is anyone here." I shout again.
This needs to be a joke. I start heading the other way back to my car until I hear a indistinct voice. I turn around once more, I see some one in the distance holding a flashlight. I walk forward and it's a women wearing a white night gown, as I take more steps towards her I notice a gun in her right hand.
"Bailey." She says. Her voice sounds an awful lot like my mother.
"Who are you?" I yell.
"Step closer." She whispers. I take another step, and the women's face lights up and she beams the flashlight at her face.
My mother.
"Mom, what the hell." I say, my voice shaky.
"It was for you," she takes three steps forward and grabs my hand with a tight and steady grip. I breath heavily,
"It was all for you, Bailey." She says again, her voice deeper and more serious this time.
"What are you talking about?" A tear slips out my eye and slides down my cheek.
"Your father was a criminal. He was dangerous." She says,
"So I took this exact gun I'm holding in my hand, and I shot that bastard." She grips to my hand tighter. I widen my eyes.
"You are selfish and idiotic." She continues,
"I did everything in my power to protect you. Damn, I was given black and blue marks around my eye because when he came home wasted I didn't want him attacking you."
"You're a bitch." My mom says. Her hand moves up to wrist and she twists it.
"All you've given me is attitude, you never once thought maybe I was protecting you. I knew you went to visit the Daltons, and I knew you went to the bank. You weren't gonna stop digging, but you'd get nowhere." I breath heavily. She lifts the gun and places the point to my forehead.
"Now I'm going to give you three options. You can either go to the police and ruin your life and turn me in, kill me, or I'll kill you."
"What'd you do with Andrew?" I ask timidly.
"He's gone." She chuckles.
"What the hell is wrong with you." I say as she presses the gun onto my head harder.
"What's your choice?" She asks.
"Here." She removes the gun from my forehead and places it in my hand and backs up.
"Kill me." She tells me. I quiver. She stands there with her hands up.
"You know, Bailey. This was the gown I was wearing when I killed your father, the blood was easy to clean off, just a little bit of bleach."
"What did you do to Andrew." I ask again, holding the gun up. She scoffs.
"You don't think he already knew?" She asks me,
"Oh, well he did, and the drugs in his room, I mean, he's an adult, which means he can be charged as an adult with illegal possession of MDMA, and fentanyl. Yeah, well I gave him choices, he should be at the police station right now." She adds. I nod my head. Two choices pop into my mind, run, or shoot her. I drop the gun and run to my car. She stands there laughing as I run with tears and fear. I get into my car and start it as quickly as I could and drive off, I was making sure I wasn't swerving, all I want to do is crash my car. I get to my house and open the door.
"Andrew!" I scream.
"Andrew!" I scream louder? I go to his room. He's laying on the floor with a wound in his stomach, she shot him.
"Bailey." He says in pain.
"Where are the drugs?" I ask looking frantically in his room,
"Where are they!" I shout again.
"What did you do?" I cry. I scream and shout and tear open his room.
"Bailey, stop."
"What?" I ask. My body shaky and sweaty.
"They're under my bed." I look under, and a whole bag of pills and crushed up powder lay under there. I take them out.
"What the fuck is this?" I ask, throwing them at him.
"Molly." He tells me. I rub my hand against the top of my head.
"Mom told me everything. She's gonna be here in any minute trying to hurt us, or the police are gonna be here." I tell him,
"Throw them out into the toilet." He tells me. I say okay. As I walk out his room I hear him ask, "One line?" I nod my head, as I get to the bathroom I start unzipping the bags, I dump the powder ones out first into the toilet until I get to the last one. I dump two of the pills into my pocket and head to Andrews room.
"Quickly." I say, and throw him the bag with two pills. He catches them and crawl to his nightstand where he uses his fist to crush the pills, he grabs the one dollar bill on the side of the nightstand and rolls it up, he puts it to his nose and inhales the powder through the money roll. He sighs and try's to get up, he's too injured to do anything.
"Come on." I say and grab him, I help him towards the door, I let him go and he limps the rest of the way with his hand over his stomach.
"Come on." I tell him.
"I'm trying." He says. We're almost out the door.
"Andrew hurry up!" I scream. He throws himself towards the door and we start heading to the car.
"Going so quick, huh?" My mother says, she points the gun at me. My injured brother in my hands from a gun wound my mother gave him.
"I gave you options, Bailey." She starts walking forward.
"Better make on quick."
"I'm turning you in." I say and I get to my car.
"Okay, good luck with that." She smirks, I shove Andrew into the back seat and walk over to my mother.
"You're a sick person." I tell her. I walk away and she says nothing. I start the car and drive past her, she smirks.
"Bailey. Thank you." Andrew says. Tears streaming down my face, I ignore him as I get to the police station.
"Just stay here." I tell him and get out.
I wipe the tears from my eyes, straighten my back and walk in.
In obvious distress, everyone looks at me oddly. My face is red and puffy from crying, my hair all messed up, and dried blood from helping Andrew.
"How can we help you?" The concerned lady at the desk asks me.
"I'm Bailey Moore, and I'd like to report a crime."