"Aaannndddd done! You're buffed into perfection, free of charge, gorgeous." Knockout pulled away his buffer as he buffed me while I temporarily remained my previous self. What I mean is that I'm back to seeing pitched black all my life.

"Thanks Doc," I said.

Knockout gloated, "Oh sweetspark. You have a mech to get swooning over you on this very special day~."

If anyone was wondering, it's Valentines Day today on Earth calendars. And I'm spending Valentines Day...blind for a while. I won't be able to see the various shenanigans Knockout rambled to me about.

I walked out of the medbay, and suddenly I heard slamming on the ground.

"L-lord Megatron!"

I paused my steps when I depicted Megatron punishing Starscream's new recruits on this day.

"What are you looking at?!" Icicle snapped.

I thought for a second, "Looking at what? I can't see anything?"

"You all recruits are failing me day after day!" Megatron snapped. "Can anyone give me satisfactory results?!"

I stood there not knowing if the way is clear. But the next moment, I was lifted into the air, by Megatron no less.

"My L-lord?" I stuttered as he carried me while walking away, from what I sensed in direction he's heading back to the bridge.

"I have no intentions of jettisoning you to oblivion Y/N. That femme was in your path so I decided to...ease your obstruction. Besides, you have given me better results than any of those useless recruits." Megatron explained in annoyance.

He put me down when he reached the bridge, only to be greeted by an amusing situation.

"Starscream, what the frag is that you're holding?" Megatron deadpanned.

Starscream lifted a bag of Valentines candies sent through a random groundbridge, which obviously I can't see them at Lord Megatron. He walked closer and raised the whole bag of candies at Megatron's face. "Apparently, Optimus Prime is wishing if you would be his Valentine?" Screamer asked smugly.

Alright, Megatron is triggered. He simply raised his fusion cannon and shot the bag of candies. Leaving the colouring of the candies spluttered all over Starscream, the vehicons were giving snickers at the candy filled Seeker.

"Arghh!" Screamer groaned as he scurried out of the bridge. I couldn't see but I laughed out, I'll be sure to ask Soundwave for a recording when my surgical optics are fixed.

"Idiots." Megatron rolled his optics and headed to his usual command station.

I went to a nearby monitor and began some work. I still have the keys memorised so not a problem. I was doing fine until more weird stuff happened.

Hiya Barbie
Hi Ken!
Do you want to go for a ride?
Sure Ken
Jump in
I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

"WHO THE FRAG DID THIS TO MY MONITOR?!" Lord Megatron boomed throughout the bridge. The vehicons all had to hide their snickers.

I turned to Soundwave what is Megs watching which he replied, "Autobots, mischief. Video, Starscream and Lord Megatron...Barbie Girl."

I had to restrain my laughter, the fact how the autobots got the clips and edited them, most probably done by their mischievous human kids. Sooner or later, Megatron just smashed his monitor to crush that scrapheap.

"STARSCREAM!!!" He boomed and dragged himself out of the bridge to find Starscream.

----

"You're not spending Valentines Day with Y/N?" E/N asked Shockwave when he visited his lab while Shockwave was fixing something.

Shockwave's antennas twitched and he thought for a moment, he won't let Y/N's ex mess with him or her. "You are being illogical." He went back to fixing something.

"It will be your first Valentines Day together, if you're not it's best she has someone to spend with..." E/N slyly said.

Shockwave's spark heated up, but he knows Y/N is strong enough, "I'd like to see you attempt at this."

E/N walked out.

"Y/N, please come to the lab," Shockwave tapped his comm.

----

I was walking through the halls to the lab as per Shockwave's call. I felt a presence.

"Happy Valentines Day Y/N my love," E/N attempted to use the blind advantage.

I immediately landed a kick and to my luck, that afthole fell to the ground.

"Y/N! What was that for?!" E/N asked.

"You're not my Valentine asshole. I already have mine!" I snarled.

"He's still working and he's not gonna spend this day with you. And after what we've been through, we'll be better I promise," E/N tried.

I cocked my optic, "Erm...I'm gonna meet him now. And I'd rather work with him than spend today with you..."

"E/N! Icicle! Neutroblade!" Megatron's voice boomed through the Nemesis and E/N literally jumped. "I'm watching you all! Quit being lazy recruits and get to work!"

I immediately skipped my step and headed to the lab to meet my actual Valentine, not caring about E/N.

----

"I have completed the surgical attachment, you may open your optics," Shockwave finished and I opened up.

I was met with the colours of the ship, the ground, my buffed paintjob by Knockout, and lastly I was greeted by the most handsome looking mech in front of me.

I blushed, "You worked all day for this? Thank you!"

"I have researched, and this day means a lot for lovers on Earth, equivalent to us. I thought it was logical that I present your much needed surgical sight, with a few alterations," Shockwave explained and if he had two optics, he would have winked at the last sentence. "I believe the saying is, Happy Valentines Day Y/N."

I giggled and blushed more, my optics beaming towards his singular red optic, "Thank you, my good Valentine!"

We then heard slamming outside. We decided to go check it out.

"STARSCREAM, I DO NOT WISH TO BE ANYONE'S SO CALLED VALENTINE! NOT OPTIMUS OF ALL...AND NOT YOU, WORST THAN A BARBIE DANCER!" Megatron boomed in anger. Today really made Megatron triggered as hell, not to mention the red blush forming on his face especially with the Optimus pranks by the autobots. "GO FIND YOUR OWN THIRSTY FEMME AT A CON STRIP CLUB TO FULFILL YOUR IDIOTIC FANTASIES!"

I saw what seemed like a holographic of Starscream replicated to ask Megatron if he would be his Valentine. It has to be the kids again.

We sighed and I decided to head to the medbay to visit Knockout.

"Ahh Y/N, could you do the honours of displaying your beautiful voice and sing?" Knockout seems to be holding a guitar, an earth instrument but cybertronian sized. He then tossed it at me and I caught it.

"KO this is absurd!" I protested.

Suddenly, Soundwave and Dreadwing came into the medbay.

"😘" Soundwave flashed an emoji. Dreadwing just smiled lightly. Shockwave just shook his helm at Knockout.

I sighed as Knockout dramatically gestured me to the medical berth as my seat. I thought for a moment and decided to just sing one of my favourite older song Soundwave introduced me to.

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marryin' the wrong girl
I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family, all dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry
This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say
"Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out"
And they said, "speak now"
Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?
Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "speak now"
Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
Your time is running out
And they said, "speak now"
I hear the preacher say
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
There's a silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaking hands
All eyes on me
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But I'm only lookin' at you
I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy,
Who should be marryin' the wrong girl
So don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "speak now"
And you say, "let's run away now
I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door
Oh baby, I didn't say my vow
So glad you were around when they said, "speak now"

I ended the last note, only to notice all the cons in the medbay looking at me with mixed expressions, was my singing bad?

"This is way better than being confessed by Optimus Prime!" Megatron remarked.

"Oh master...you're just denying your secret admiration for the Prime hehe-." Starscream chuckled a little only to be smacked by Megatron whose face seems to turn red in anger.

"I ONLY WISH FOR HIS DEMISE!"

I sighed, "Happy Valentines Day everyone."

The whole area just laughed heartily. It's gonna be a long day.

END

(Ps. I love Buckethead x Orion ship jokes 🤣)