WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MORE ANGST THAN USUAL.

America's POV

We headed into the gym, but as soon as I set foot I get shoved. I fall down hard on my arm, Russia pulling me up and snarling. I hear that flirty voice again, "Oh, sorry, Russia. But you need to see that he is using you! He doesn't really want to be your friend." I feel someone skipping over and instantly know it's Japan. "Leave Ame alone!! You are just jealous Russia hates you!!" I sigh and rub my arms. 

I wish I could see. I wish people were nicer. I wish people didn't take what they have for granted. I wish for so many good things...

I don't bother facing China, I just stare where ever and start speaking, "Listen right here China. If Russia wants to believe you, then so be it. If not, boohoo. Cry yourself a river, build yourself a bridge, and go swan dive off of it." I cross my arms and look towards my friends. "If you believe her, go." I feel Japan hug me, "Never shall I surrender to evil!! It's not Plus Ultra!!" I smile softly. Russia puts his hand on my shoulder, "Why would I side with a rat?"

I wish I could see China's face. I wish I could see what pastel yellow is. Or what my family looks like. What does red look like? What even is red?!

"-me? Ame you there?" I blink and look up at my friends. "Sorry I was thinking of something..." Yeah, I was thinking about how it sucks being blind. (Me too, buddy. Me, too. My right eye isn't good. T-T) I hate this. I hate not being able to tell what I eat. I hate not seeing if someone is listening to me or not. What do I look like?! I can literally be standing and someone could just sneak up on me!! 

I'm WEAK.

DEFENSELESS

USELESS

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

I close my eyes and breathe, no not today. Not in front of my friends. I finally tune in and listen to them argue, "-but think about it!! If I slap myself and it hurts then I'm strong!!" I hear an angry huff, "No you blyat!! You are weak because you can't even go against yourself!" I hear a bit of silence, "What do you think, Ame?" I move my head to the side, "You are an idiot. Why are you hitting yourself in the first place?" I only hear silence. 

Are they even there? Or did they walk off to escape my worthless-

"You have a point there." I sigh in relief, they were listening. I feel Japan put her arm around me, "Hey Ame, are you feeling alright? Something's bothering you isn't it?" I think this is the first time she said something calmly. "I- yes. But, I can't tell you." I think they're staring at me. My heart sinks, I wish I could see their faces.

Or the sky. Or colors. Faces, too. I wish I could see my favorite things. Is that too much to ask? To see at least for one day? One hour?

"Ame, we can't help you if you don't tell us..." I feel fuzzy when Russia says this. He cares about me! My heart flutters at the thought. "I- if I tell you, will you treat me different if I did tell you?" Russia speaks, "Honestly? Depends. We will see you the same. But we will know how to help you with whatever is wrong." I feel like throwing rainbows, whatever those look like...

I sigh, I don't want to tell them here at school. Especially not on the bleachers in the gym. "I'll tell you after school. I'll give you guys my address." I think they nodded. I want to see them so bad...

"I can make it, you Russia?" I hear nothing, he either nodded or shook his head. "It's settled then. Ame, tell us your address and I'll write it down for Russia and me!!" I nod and tell her my address. Soon the coach yells for us to head back to the locker rooms. I change quickly, but I can't find my hoodie... "Russia, where is my hoodie?" I listen to him shuffle things around, "Looking for this?" Russia growls, "Give it back, North Korea!!" I turn to North, upset. "Just give it back. It's worthless for you. Besides, if you dump it somewhere I'll buy a new one and report you." I hold my hand towards him, "Just hand it over." I sound bored, but I'm actually desperate. I love that hoodie, and my shades are in the pockets!!

I feel the thing hit my face, the sunglasses smack my forehead. I don't say a word, I just tie the hoodie around my waist and put the glasses on. I don't have time for this. I grab my bag and leave, Russia following behind. Soon Japan joins and asks what happened, Russia explaining since I don't want to talk about it. I hate this so much.

~FUN FACT: Rabbits can hiss, growl, purr, cluck, whimper, and most disturbingly, scream.

~Coco