online chatting was one thing. online dating was quite the other.

picking up from the previous episode of jeongguk exploring the texting world. after a bit of hunting and a few unfortunate encounters with miniemouses on the wrong sites, he finally found her.

you have started a chat with MINIEMOUSE.

GUKIEMONSTER
Hello there! So I was just passing through and I happened to see your profile and think, "Golly! This chap sure does strike me as a Jimin!"

GUKIEMONSTER
No worries if your name's not Jimin, haha! Just droppin' by, howdy doo!

MINIEMOUSE
u ok bro

GUKIEMONSTER
well frickity frack bye

MINIEMOUSE
ITS ME LOL

MINIEMOUSE
aHAHAHAHHA WHY WERE U TALKING LIKE THAT

GUKIEMONSTER
jimin oh my god

GUKIEMONSTER
i found you

MINIEMOUSE
you did indeed

MINIEMOUSE
thanks for the valuable screenshots btw :-)

GUKIEMONSTER
what screensho

GUKIEMONSTER
oh

GUKIEMONSTER
jimin delete them

MINIEMOUSE
delete what ???

GUKIEMONSTER
jimin

MINIEMOUSE
gukie

MINIEMOUSE
hey what kind of name is gukie ew

GUKIEMONSTER
i had to think up a username on the spot stfu

MINIEMOUSE
aw you made an acc just for me? :'-)

GUKIEMONSTER
ew no

MINIEMOUSE
>:-(

MINIEMOUSE
whats ur name you fudge poop

GUKIEMONSTER
:)

MINIEMOUSE
I TOLD YOU MINE

MINIEMOUSE
i trusted you :-(

GUKIEMONSTER
your fault

MINIEMOUSE
UGH

MINIEMOUSE
DONT TELL ME THEN

MINIEMOUSE
ill just have to stick with calling u gukie (ew)

GUKIEMONSTER
and i guess i gotta call you jimin (double ew)

MINIEMOUSE
OK BACK UP THATS MY REAL NAME

GUKIEMONSTER
what if gukie is my real name

MINIEMOUSE
ew

GUKIEMONSTER
TRIGGERED

MINIEMOUSE
youve never used caps lock before

MINIEMOUSE
am i rubbing off on you gukie? :'-)

shit, she is, isn't she?

GUKIEMONSTER
ew no

···

things escalated a little.

jeongguk found every message from jimin a fascination within itself. "why can't i talk to other girls like this?" changed to "why aren't other girls like jimin?"

he found himself talking to her more than his other friendsㅡhe didn't know how she looked, how old she was, how her voice sounded, her last nameㅡbut she was somehow just so . . . so perfect.

sometimes he'd worryㅡwhat if jimin wasn't who she projected herself to be? was she playing him? he didn't know.

he didn't know a lot of things about her, he realized, four months into his starting chatting with her.

there were a few other things he'd realized at this four month landmarkㅡthe most significant being that he most definitely had a crush on her.

well frickity frack.

it would've been nice to say that this wasn't his first serious crush, but at the age of twenty jeongguk found himself in the awkward position of liking someone genuinely for the first time in his lifeㅡk-pop idols didn't count.

so he decided to consult the expert.

GUKIEMONSTER
help me

JHSDAKSJA
whats up runt

GUKIEMONSTER
um interesting username change

GUKIEMONSTER
when did that happen?

JHSDAKSJA
when i was high when else

GUKIEMONSTER
thumbs up emoji

JHSDAKSJA
speaking of which ill change it back brb

YOONGEEZ
yes

GUKIEMONSTER
good to have you back

YOONGEEZ
you never had me in the first place

GUKIEMONSTER
k

GUKIEMONSTER
sO there's this girl

YOONGEEZ
ABOUT FUCKING TIME

YOONGEEZ
hold up if it's my sister i will hunt you down

GUKIEMONSTER
ew no

YOONGEEZ
good

YOONGEEZ
wait say that again jeon

GUKIEMONSTER
backtrack!!!!

GUKIEMONSTER
no i'm not worthy of her sublime beauty :''''(

YOONGEEZ
damn straight

YOONGEEZ
so tell me about this girl

YOONGEEZ
how she lookin

GUKIEMONSTER
idk

YOONGEEZ
what

GUKIEMONSTER
i met her online, we never revealed our faces to each other

YOONGEEZ
then whats the point

GUKIEMONSTER
PERSONALITY

GUKIEMONSTER
CHARACTER

GUKIEMONSTER
THOSE ARE IMPORTANT HYUNG

YOONGEEZ
yeah ok sure

YOONGEEZ
get me a pic and we'll talk

GUKIEMONSTER
you're such a

YOONGEEZ
hm?

GUKIEMONSTER
you're such a

···

jeongguk wasn't one who overly cared about appearances. or at least, he hoped.

there was always a chance he didn't like what he saw, wasn't there? but even if he didn't, he'd put that aside, right? because he really, really, really liked jimin, right?

right?

GUKIEMONSTER
can i has a pikchurr

MINIEMOUSE
no but u can has a dikshunery

GUKIEMONSTER
okay but can i have a picture

MINIEMOUSE
sure y not

that had been ... surprisingly easy.

MINIEMOUSE

holy mother of all things holy, she was drop dead gorgeous.

GUKIEMONSTER
woa

GUKIEMONSTER
woah

GUKIEMONSTER
youre

GUKIEMONSTER
wo a h

MINIEMOUSE
you don't have to say it i know :-)

GUKIEMONSTER
give me a

GUKIEMONSTER
second

···

GUKIEMONSTER

YOONGEEZ
hot damn

GUKIEMONSTER
she's more of a cutesy type tbh

YOONGEEZ
wdym look at that

GUKIEMONSTER
i am looking at that

YOONGEEZ
r u sure

GUKIEMONSTER
very

YOONGEEZ
HOT DAMN

GUKIEMONSTER
hop off my woman

YOONGEEZ
sure sure

YOONGEEZ
just say "hey youre hot go out with me"

GUKIEMONSTER
DO YOU WANT ME TO GET TURNED DOWN WTF

YOONGEEZ
gasp?????? no???????????

YOONGEEZ
itll work just do it

GUKIEMONSTER
OH MY GOD YOU'RE USELESS

GUKIEMONSTER
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE ASKED SEOKJIN HYUNG

YOONGEEZ
offended that you'd even consider him after me

GUKIEMONSTER
you should feel honored i came to you first

YOONGEEZ
nah

GUKIEMONSTER
you're such a dick

···

GUKIEMONSTER

SEOKJINX
aw she's cute !

GUKIEMONSTER
yes

GUKIEMONSTER
yes hyung

GUKIEMONSTER
you're better than yoongi hyung already

SEOKJINX
?

SEOKJINX
wait.

SEOKJINX
did you actually go to YOONGI before coming to me?

GUKIEMONSTER
oh

GUKIEMONSTER
oh no

GUKIEMONSTER
no ofc not!!!

SEOKJINX
him over me?

SEOKJINX
of all people, HIM?

SEOKJINX
wow.

GUKIEMONSTER
no he,, i not,,, did,

SEOKJINX
you were my favorite dongsaeng.

GUKIEMONSTER
wa i t

SEOKJINX
i thought i was your favorite hyung.

GUKIEMONSTER
hyung you are iLY

SEOKJINX
it's over.

GUKIEMONSTER
HYUNG NO

···

"just tell her she be lookin' fine!"

"'i like your face,' that should do the trick."

"say 'you're hot. i'm hot. we're hot. let's be hot together.' DAMN THAT'S A GOOD ONEㅡ"

jeongguk had consulted pretty much everyone in his contacts, and was gradually starting to lose it.

note to self: never go to friends for advice again.

he could have just called it a night, but he knew it would be a sleepless oneㅡhe had to finish this. if he didn't then, when? he couldn't keep postponing it forever.

considering his current state, words of his friends' shitty advice bouncing around his head, texting his crush may not have been the best idea.

GUKIEMONSTER
you're pretty

jeongguk was all for bad ideas.

MINIEMOUSE
i know

so far, so good.

GUKIEMONSTER
i'm pretty hot myself

... and ruined.

miniemouse is typing? what the fuck? RUN AWAY FROM ME, I'M CLEARLY MENTALLY UNSTABLE OH MY GODㅡ

MINIEMOUSE
i don't know

he'd been given a second chance. she doesn't know how i look, jeongguk reassured himself, it's a normal response. keep going, keep going . . .

GUKIEMONSTER
go out with me

was that too abrupt? that was too abrupt. shit, shit, shitㅡ

jeongguk held his breath.

MINIEMOUSE
know

MINIEMOUSE
no

he felt his heart drop down into his bowels. what had he done wrong?

um, a voice in his head spoke up, EVERYTHING?

GUKIEMONSTER
oh

GUKIEMONSTER
okay

MINIEMOUSE
i'm pretty

wait, what?

GUKIEMONSTER
yes

MINIEMOUSE
you're a fudge poop

GUKIEMONSTER
... yes

MINIEMOUSE
go out with me

jeongguk smiled.

GUKIEMONSTER
yes

[ + ]

@ whoever's confused, "miniemouse" is not park jimin !!! the real park jimin we love & cherish will come ,, soon ((;;;
+ THIS JIMIN IS REALLY A GIRL YALL STOP CONFUSING ME