make sure u've read the last update bfr u read this skdsksk thats all i hav to say

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jimin had had his fair share of bad dates. anyone could tell you that. hell, taehyung had a whole binder for that specific purpose.

and oh, was this date going in the binderㅡonly for once, it wasn't actually jimin's fault.

after all, it could only be his fault if he was given a chance to screw it up, couldn't it?

it was almost strange to himㅡsitting alone in the dark, only his thoughts to accompany himㅡwhen it finally dawned on him. he'd been stood up. he found it strange that it had never really happened to him before, in his extensive history of dates with people he'd never met before in his life. he found it strange that it actually affected him.

jimin concluded that getting stood up hurt. even when it was by a guy that he wanted nothing to do with.

on the bright side; if taehyung were to ask him for details on this date, with that mad glint in his eyes, binder out and pen poised over an empty page, jimin would take a considerable amount of pleasure in telling him that there were no actual "events" to record. just a big, fat STOOD UP.

yeah. that would show him. the little worm.

jimin sighed, leaning back in his chair far enough to precariously balance it on two legs. so he'd been stood up. now what? as it had never really happened to him before, nor had he ever expected it to happen, jimin wasn't familiar with what a stood-up person was to do. did they just... stand up and leave?

jimin didn't want to get up. he closed his eyes.

big difference. he opened them.

god, he was tired.

and not tired tiredㅡno, jimin was tired of things. lots of things. like taehyung's revulsion towards his pizza preferences, ("you kiss your mother with the same mouth that eats pineapple on fucking pizza?") coffee shops getting his name wrong, (pork jimin? park jimmy? it wasn't that difficult, jeez) the alarming shortage of korean subs in the world, (he just wanted to watch stranger things, dammit, was that too much to ask?) jeongguk,

ah. jeongguk. there it was.

so far, jimin had done a remarkably good job at pretending that a jeon jeongguk didn't exist. until he'd realized that namjoon wasn't going to turn up, he'd spent his time devotedly rehearsing what he wanted to say to him, while simultaneously pushing anything to do with said male to the very back of his mind. even when a waiter had asked if he had a coconut allergy:

"coconuts revolt me. to my very core," jimin had informed him gravely, without thinking of jeongguk at all. the waiter had departed without another word.

but now, there wasn't much else for jimin to think about, was there? just jeongguk.

just stupid jeongguk.

jimin would remember the feeling of being stood up for a very long time. but when jeongguk had looked at him, park jimin; then had turned away, and went to another jimin instead: he'd been chosen over. and he'd rather be stood up a hundred times than ever have to feel that cold rush to his head again, followed by that numbness, emptiness all over. the feeling of just not being enough.

it wasn't jeongguk's fault that he had that kind of effect on him. but jimin was going to blame him, anyway.

jimin played with his glass of water lazily, sloshing the liquid around a little before bringing it to his lips. he had no idea what he was still doing here. there was no way namjoon was going to show now. (wasn't like he even wanted him to, either.)

well. he pushed his chair back, scraping it against the ground extra hard, just because he could. that's that, then.

with his glass still gripped delicately in one hand, jimin was about to raise his other, to signal a waiterㅡand then he heard the doors slam.

jimin glanced towards the noise, eyebrows raised. the waiters always managed to glide in and out of the doors soundlesslyㅡobviously a requirement for their job, which made it all the more alarming. he heard a couple of snide remarks from the table next to him, and had to admit he agreed.

but then there were shouts. lots of themㅡjimin swore he distinctly heard someone yell, "not this shit again!" his neighboring table burst into a fervent bout of exchanges, clearly craving for something to go wrong. (again, jimin agreed. it had come to the point where seeing other people's lives go wrong, for a change, gave him a tiny ounce of happiness.) (tiny. tiny!)

jimin lowered his arm; he might as well hang around. this was probably the most interesting his life would ever get, anyway.

jimin sipped his drink as chaos ensued. he could hear chairs being moved and voices being raised, sudden yelps of surprise peaking above the general confusion.

on the whole, it was fairly unentertaining. jimin shifted in his seat boredly, finally stretching his hand up once more and waving it to-and-fro. he highly doubted a waiter would be able to tend to him in the current situation but he might as well try.

and then, amidst it all, he heard it.

"jimin!"

jimin stared ahead blankly. his arm quavered in the air.

again: "jimin!"

"jeongguk?" he murmured, hand dropping to the table. no. that doesn't make sense.

but it's his voice, he countered himself. and that's my name.

jimin shook his head. but, he downed the last of his water, it's her name, too.

continued raised voices. more diners were beginning to notice the commotion, chattering turning excited and louder as their attention shifted towards it. jimin shrank into his seat and placed his glass down, though his fingers remained tightly clasped around it. he needed something to hold onto.

he flinched in surprise as a loud crash of cutlery and plates sounded throughout the areaㅡa significant amount of glass and porcelain must have been broken there, definitely. a series of shouts and screams followed closely. and then there was a yell, that could only belong to one person, could only be directed at one person,

"park fucking jimin, where are you?!"

and it was jeongguk. it was definitely freaking jeongguk.

jeongguk calling his name.

"that's me," jimin whispered, jumping to his feet. he raised his voice, "that's me, that's me! jeongguk!"

there was a silence. a total, pin-drop silence.

and then: "taeyong, grab him!"

"jimin!" jeongguk shouted. the noise level shot right back up to accompany him, terrified screams and creaking chairs in the midst of it. other people were getting up to leaveㅡprobably thought jeongguk was a terrorist or something. waiters desperately begged for order.

jimin heard him again. "follow my voice!"

why? what are you doing here? he had so many questions. what about namjoon? about her?

but jeongguk was here. for him. did anything else matter?

jimin gulped, then took a step forward. he'd never walked alone, in the dark. both times he'd had to, he'd had either a waiter or jeongguk by his side.

"jeongguk?" he called tentatively, still barely an arm's length from his table; his fingers were still grazing the top of his chair.

"stay right there! i'm coming."

so jimin stayed. he stayed for the same reason he'd stayed all along, had stuck by jeongguk through all the bullshit and chaos and heartache. simply because jeongguk had asked him to. asked him to stay.

that was that. jimin just couldn't hate jeongguk, however hard he tried. and he really, really hated him for that.

"jimin!" jimin's head snapped up. jeongguk's voice wasn't even that loud amidst the rest of the noise, yet it was the only thing he heard. "marco!"

"polo!" jimin yelled, as hard as he could.

he waited a beat, then was about to risk another step forwardㅡwhen someone grabbed him by the arm, hold tight and stern. definitely not jeongguk. jimin strained against the grip in a sort of dazed panic.

"you're the park jimin in question?" a gruff voice spoke.

jimin sighed. "aw, crap."

···

for the second time in his life, jimin had been kicked out of a restaurant.

though this time, without an accomplice. squirming and shrieking in distress, jimin had practically been carried out of the darkness by the buff waiterㅡnot security, surprisingly. the man would definitely be much better suited in that line of profession, jimin had found himself thinking, while he'd been thrashing hysterically in his hold.

"wait! wait, what about jeongguk?" jimin screamed, eyes shut against the sudden light and legs steeled against the ground, while he pushed against the waiter's body with all the force he could manage. it was futile; his chest was rock solid. "this is his fault, why aren't you throwing him out?!"

"he's next," the waiter answered plainly. he deposited jimin outside the restaurant and went back in.

jimin scoffed incredulously, following back after him with something rude on the tip of his tongue, when the dining area's doors flew open: another waiter emerged, with jeongguk in a resistant tow. he was shouting profanities at the top of his voice, clawing at the grip on his arm as he attempted to twist away; until he looked up and caught jimin's gaze.

his shoulders sagged. jimin's lifted as he inhaled sharply.

"getㅡ" jeongguk wrenched himself away from the waiter, voice low in comparison to how it had been, just a few seconds earlier, "off me."

the waiter complied immediately, adjusting his goggles and scurrying back into the dark. then jeongguk turned and looked at jimin, long and hard.

it was jimin's third time seeing him in the flesh, yet he swore his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

he took half a step forward. "whyㅡ" he began. then stopped.

because jeongguk walked right up to himㅡand past him. out of the restaurant. without one word.

jimin blinked. he felt an odd déjà vu; and it wasn't exactly the sort of thing you'd like to feel déjà vu about. hadn't he...

right. it hit him. hadn't jeongguk done the exact same thing, before going to his date with the other jimin? brushed past him with his chin tilted up and eyes set hard and forward, as if he didn't even exist? yesㅡyes, he had.

but things were different now, he'd come for him, hadn't he? not for her... so why was he leaving? if he'd come for him, where would he have to go?

jimin turned fast enough to get whiplash. "jeongguk?" jeongguk didn't stop, nor turn. it didn't make a single ounce of sense; he'd just dragged him out of a date (that jimin had been stood up on, yesㅡbut jeongguk couldn't possibly know that) and for what? to simply saunter off like he hadn't just permanently ruined their chances of ever visiting this restaurant again? jimin was so baffled that he couldn't even be mad.

and jeongguk had been on a date too, hadn't he? with her. but he... shit, what the hell had even happened?

jimin yelled the last part after jeongguk's still retreating figure. still no response.

so he ran. hadn't done it since high-school gym period and jeongguk wasn't even that far away, but he still did. it felt appropriate.

"jeongguk," he said again, slowing down next to him. jeongguk was slowing down, tooㅡstill not looking at jimin at all, though. he continued to stare ahead resolutely, only allowing his side profile to jimin's view. (jimin could live with that. however infuriating jeongguk was being right then, he did have a nice side profile.)

jimin pulled on his sleeves anxiously, suddenly at a loss. despite the fact that jeongguk seemed to have simmered down a little, he was still pretty unsure as to what to ask himㅡbecause there was a lot. and so far, jeongguk had answered one big, fat nothing.

he chose a question. "why did you do that? come back for me?"

"shouldn't have," jeongguk mumbledㅡjimin was so startled to hear his voice that he didn't even question his answer. "bad idea."

they stopped at the edge of the road. now was his chance, to pummel him with doubts.

"but why?" jimin pressed on. "what about my date?" jeongguk shook his head. "what about your date?" jimin tried instead. another shake of the head. "stop that! why did you come andㅡstop shaking your head and actually listen, jeongguk!"

jeongguk's head was bowed, hair bouncing across his brow in a fluffy mop as he moved it from side to side, unrelenting. his gaze was fully focused on his own handsㅡjimin noticed with a start that his left eye looked sort of... glazed over.

then jeongguk sniffled.

and jimin looked at his face. not just at his ridiculously kissable lips, or his big brown eyes, or that knife-sharp jawline. he actually looked, and then he gasped out loud.

not because it wasn't familiar to him. it was way too familiar. but on jeongguk, it wasㅡit just wasn't right.

lips pressed together tightly, eyes darting over the same surroundings while blinking much more than necessary, jaw quavering. withholding, withholding, withholding. that was the face jimin madeㅡwas sure he made, at leastㅡwhen he was trying not to cry.

he'd never actually seen someone wearing that expression; had only found himself making it or had seen the aftermath for others. but now it was right there, in front of himㅡand shit, he did not want to see the aftermath for jeongguk.

but jeongguk wouldn't cry. not jeongguk. not with jimin there, at least. he had way too much pride for that.

don't you dare cry, jimin thought desperately. i don't know how to deal with that.

"what happened?" he repeated, more urgent than ever for answers. jeongguk shook his head, turning his face away completely. "what can iㅡhow can i help you?"

"shut up."

"no." that would have hurt on any other day. "let me help yㅡ"

"help me," jeongguk choked out (choked outㅡhe was so going to cry, shit, shit), "by shutting up."

"why did you do this, then? why did you bring me out here?" jimin's ears were ringing. if jeongguk would look at him once, just onceㅡ"if you're not gonna let me help you, why did i come out here, right now? hell, why did i even come here today? why did i do anythingㅡ"

jeongguk shrugged. it was a pretty pathetic shrug, too.

"you can't not know!" jimin was trying really hard not to yell. he rushed on, "whyㅡwhy am i even here? if you're just gonna do the same thing you always do, acting like i chose to be here, like it was my choice to do any of this? like you didn't drag me out here just now, didn't drag me intoㅡthis whole thing!"

"i dragged you into this, yes." jeongguk sounded more stable than he looked now. his gaze was unfocused but his tone was harsh. "but you chose to stay."

"i never had a choice!"

"you always have a bloody choice. you're an idiot for trying to help me."

"all i've ever done isㅡ" jimin began to protest.

"exactly. you're an idiot."

jimin's hands were trembling, even as they stayed shielded from the cold in the warmth of his sleeves. "what did i do?" he whispered. jeongguk was already shaking his head, and jimin raised his voice, "i don't understand, why are you being like thiㅡ"

"mother of god, jimin! you've done nothing. which is why it's only right that i do nothing, too! so why won't you just shut up and let me?"

but jeongguk wasn't doing nothing. he was doing every single damn thing that made jimin's chest hurt in ways he hadn't even known were possible, probably weren't possible. but possible or not, that didn't change the fact that it hurt.

"guk, um," jimin began, kind of awkwardly. he stared at the other's glistening cheeks and felt his chest contract, just a little more. "you're... crying. kind of..."

too abruptly, jeongguk raised a hand to touch his face, seeming almost surprised himself. he looked at his hand and laughed the saddest laugh jimin had ever heard.

"so i am," jeongguk said.

jimin gulped. "iㅡi'm so sorry, jeongguk, what did iㅡ"

"nothing! bloody nothing, jimin, christ! you've done nothing." jeongguk looked at him with those shining eyes and god, his chest could explode right now. "and youㅡyou have nothing to apologize for."

"then why are you... this?" jimin asked, searching his face for answers until he turned it away. "did she not come? is that it, did jimin not come? because neither didㅡ"

"she came," jeongguk interrupted quietly.

"and? did the plan not work? tell me, tell me something, jeongguk!"

jeongguk shook his head (if he did that one more time, one more damn timeㅡ), sticking his hand out into the road for a cab, and one rolled up next to them almost immediately. another reason for jimin to hate himㅡtaxis never seemed to be aware of the fact that he existed.

"i'm sorry i involved you in this," jeongguk said, head lowered as he pulled the back door open. "you can go home now."

"what?" jimin gaped.

"it's over."

"what's over? nothing's over! you still haven't explained shit to me!"

the taxi-driver had his head poking out of his window, staring at them with a clear mixture of expectancy and vexation. jimin couldn't really care less, though jeongguk certainly looked like he did, eyebrows knitted and feet shuffling uncomfortably. he wiped at his cheek with the back of his sleeve and spoke through gritted teeth, "get in the taxi, jimin."

"or what, huh? you'll cry some more?"

"then i'll get in the taxi. jesus. if you don't mind being stranded on the side of the road at nine-thirty in the evening then i won't think twice about it."

"iㅡi am twenty-two years old!" jimin spluttered in disbelief.

jeongguk scoffed. "yeah. fat chance." the driver cleared his throat, and jeongguk threw him an apologetic glance before rattling the handle of the open door despairingly. "get in, jimin!"

jimin opened his mouth, then closed it. what could he say? there was no point in trying to get anything out of jeongguk; he had closed himself off completely, leaving no room for entry. but jimin couldn't leave, could he? after everything, he couldn't just drive away.

"fucking shit," he muttered under his breath, and jeongguk audibly exhaled in relief as jimin moved into the taxiㅡslowly, hesitantly, but he did. because he couldn't see what else he could possibly do.

"all right," jeongguk said, making to close the door, but jimin jolted forward unexpectedly, suddenly seized by the same force that had taken hold of him the last time, their date, that had gotten him to give him his username. jimin still didn't regret that. that meant he wouldn't regret this either.

"guk, listen to me," he began, as fast as he could. he ignored jeongguk's groan and hurried on, "iㅡyou're right. i did have a choice. but i chose toㅡ" jeongguk met his gaze, his eyes sort of wide, when jimin stopped to swallow. "to stay. i chose to stay, jeongguk! because i..." his throat went dry.

"be... 'cause i..." he mumbled in a panic, eyes falling to the floor of the car, willing himself to finish it. he looked back up at jeongguk, with his creased brow and parted lips, and his head cleared.

"because i wanted to stay... jeongguk."

there was a long pause. the only thing he could hear was the sound of his own breathing, apart from the cab driver tapping an impatient beat on the steering wheel. and jeongguk wasn't looking away.

jimin saw his lips move before he heard him. "thank you," was all jeongguk saidㅡbut it was so much more than that, because he meant it. from his tone to the look in his eyes, jimin could tell. "thank you for staying."

jimin waited. he couldn't even hear himself breathing anymore.

and then jeongguk went on, "but it's time for you to go now."

jimin had barely even processed it when the door shut between them, with a soft, final click. yet he continued to stare at jeongguk through the window, transfixed in his seat, somehow expecting something. "it's a cute different for you too." anything.

jimin needed to stop expecting things. maybe then jeongguk turning and walking away, without a single further acknowledgement, wouldn't have made him feel like his entire world was turning to ash.

jimin exhaledㅡapparently, he'd been holding his breath. the tapping on the wheel stopped.

"where to?" the driver spoke up, clearly relieved.

jimin told him, then turned away from the windowㅡhe didn't want to see his reflection. his lips were already starting to press together, and he knew exactly what came next.