WARMSEOKS
taehyunf

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tae

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hyugn

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taehyung

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hEY

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why is everyone leaving me on read im--

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tAEHYUNG

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oh my god,,,,,,,

WARMSEOKS
lovey yummers

BYUNGTAE
hi babe (:

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IM A BUSY MAN TAEHYUNG

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I CANT AFFORD TO BE IGNORED

BYUNGTAE
too busy for me? D:

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i have to tUTOR OK

BYUNGTAE
you........tutor

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yeS i have to tutor namjoon

BYUNGTAE
you........tutor...........namjoon

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y e s ffs

BYUNGTAE
aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

BYUNGTAE
THERES LIKE LITERALLY ONE THING YOURE QUALIFIED TO TUTOR IN AND THATS

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.

BYUNGTAE
dont tell me

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he doesnt know the art taehyung

BYUNGTAE
i said dont tell me

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the art of holding in farts

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im falling out of love w you real fast so like,,,,

BYUNGTAE
what do u want

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D;

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so....jimin......a girl.......hahahahahahha.........thanks for the warning...........

BYUNGTAE
what

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biTCH WHY DIDNT U TELL ME LIKE I ATTACKED HER AT THE RESTAURANT SHE COULD FILE A CASE AGAINST ME OR STH

BYUNGTAE
what

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LIKE I WAS HOLDING HER BY THE SCRUFF OF HER SHIRT OH MAN OH BOY

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I REGRET EVERYTHING

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MY LIFE

BYUNGTAE
hoseok

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ITS FLASHING

BYUNGTAE
can u stfu omg

BYUNGTAE
lets start from the top 

BYUNGTAE
you know......the part where you called my best friend a girl

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I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT TELL ME THIS CRUCIAL PIECE OF INFORMATION

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I FEEL BETRAYED

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AND NOW NAMJOON LIKES HER KNSJHDWASDJ

BYUNGTAE
and thats a bad thing because

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BC NOW ILL FEEL GUILTY WHEN I BREAK THEM UP

BYUNGTAE
wOAH SQUARE UP HOE

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ILL PENTAGON UP

BYUNGTAE
ILL HEXAGON UP

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shit fam u got me

BYUNGTAE
rerewind to the part you called jimin a girl

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I CANT BELIEVE U

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YOU L I E D TO ME

BYUNGTAE
for fucks sake

BYUNGTAE
jimin is not a girl

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WDYM JIMIN IS NOT A

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what?

BYUNGTAE
girl

BYUNGTAE
jimin is not a girl

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oh no

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oh no this is horrible

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i cant believe this im so sorry

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you poor thing :(

BYUNGTAE
what

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hey it's gonna be alright okay

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i'm here for you

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your shmoopie is here

BYUNGTAE
bITCH TF UR CONFUSING ME SO MUCH I

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god i hate to be the one to break it to you but someone has to do it

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i know,,, "he's" ,,, your best friend

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but he

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is actually a she :(

BYUNGTAE
..........i think you have some fart tutoring to attend to

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DO U NOT BELIEVE ME

BYUNGTAE
yES I DONT BELIEVE U

BYUNGTAE
smfh this is like ur worst joke yet

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taehyung i know youre in denial and all

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but u gotta listen to me

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NO HOSEOK YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME

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WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT JIMIN OH MY G O D

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HE'S SO MASCULINE

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IM SO

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im so disappointed in you

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LOOK PAST HIS BEAUTIFUL GOALS AF JAWLINE OK

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have you seen her.....um

BYUNGTAE
his

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his what

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nose

BYUNGTAE
yES its so smol and and and it has this cute lil bump it's so precious omg

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ok

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now go down abt 4 feet

BYUNGTAE
man hoseok

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you know measurement isnt my forte

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  bITCH HIS DICK

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CRIKEY KNICKERS NO I HAVENT

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then how

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how do you know

BYUNGTAE
DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS HE IS MY BEST FRIEND END OF STORY

BYUNGTAE
wbu hoe youve met him like twice

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THRICE NOW

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ok but see the thing is

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namjoon went on a date with her right

BYUNGTAE
om hdsj

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omfGHD

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I FORGOT OH MY GOD

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I HAVENT EVEN ASKED JIMINIE ABT IT

BYUNGTAE
GTG!!!!!!!!

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JUST ASK LATER AHBFGNJPC

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hello r u there

BYUNGTAE
no this is ur mom :)

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ok look namjoon said that he's a girl

BYUNGTAE
oh!!!!!!!!

BYUNGTAE
i see!!!!!!!!!

BYUNGTAE
now suddenly nAMJOON knows my best friend better than i do!!!!!!!!!!!!

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listen i didnt believe him at first either ok?

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but i thought about it for a while and

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taehyung,, he went on a date with her

BYUNGTAE
hoseok,, ive known him since he was a fetus squish

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loOk im just warning you

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i mean like

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i dont want you to be too shocked when u find out,,,, yanno

BYUNGTAE
no no im on a roll now

BYUNGTAE
basically namjoon goes on ONE date with jimin, comes back and goes "omg i had so much fun with JIMIN THE GIRL" and youre like jimin the girl well shit my boyfriend who has known jimin for PRETTY MUCH FOREVER said he's a guy but nAMJOON OBVIOUSLY KNOWS FUCKING BETTER SO JIMIN M U S T BE A GIRL!!!!!!! YAY WHAT F U N IM SO GLAD JIMIN THE GIRL AND NAMJOON HAD SUCH A BLA S T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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correction i am not glad that they had a blast because NAMJOON TOLD ME HIMSELF that he is DEFINITELY GAY and he THINKS he likes her and he THINKS he's straight but nooo he DOES NOT and he IS NOT and when he meets her PROPERLY it's going to go to shit and he is going to be HEARTBROKEN so thanks tae!!!!!!

BYUNGTAE
the fuck blame it all on me then

BYUNGTAE
OK BUT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I CANT BELIEVE NAMJOON SAYS ONE WORD AND YOU JUST BELIEVE IT DESPITE THE FACT THAT I CLEARLY KNOW BETTER THAN HIM IN THIS O N E AREA

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namjoon is my best friend

BYUNGTAE
and i am your boyfr

BYUNGTAE
you know what

BYUNGTAE
i dont even know anymore

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dont then

BYUNGTAE
i wont

BYUNGTAE
,,,,,,,,so i guess the whole matching usernames thing isnt gonna happen now huh

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wtf youre so cute asjdDWJSDH i cant believe u actually

BYUNGTAE
stfu we're fighting u dont get to call me cute >:/

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but yeah no that date didnt count so whoops!!!!

BYUNGTAE
there is this weird feeling in my stomach

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constipation

BYUNGTAE
no

BYUNGTAE
anger

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i am anger

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hi anger i'm leaving

BYUNGTAE
right

BYUNGTAE
fart tutoring

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right

BYUNGTAE
i hope you fall into a ditch and die slowly and painfully and i hope ur dying breath is spent wishing you'd been nicer to the boyfriend u never deserved (::

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the love is Real

BYUNGTAE
my fist is Real

WARMSEOKS
bye, tubba wubba :)

BYUNGTAE
bye

BYUNGTAE
booger