wow i hate school

¡¡¡ 3.3k words !!!

[ + ]

jimin couldn't see a foot ahead of him.

hell, the darkness could have gone of for miles and he wouldn't have known. maybe he'd underestimated the term 'dark dining'ㅡhe'd kinda thought that lights would have been heavily dimmed, not non-existent.

he could hear the low chatter of people talkingㅡit was oddly soothing; and the fact that his hand was firmly clasped around someone's arm gave him a sense of comfort too.

the waiter steered him into a seat without a single accidental tripping on the way; jimin couldn't help but find it impressive that he'd managed to maneuver him, park jiminㅡpractically blind and a certified klutzㅡthrough a bustling restaurant.

"i'll be leaving now," the waiter whispered, placing a reassuring hand on jimin's shoulder.

"can't you wait untilㅡ" jimin began in protest, not wanting to be left along in the dark. he felt a squeeze on his shoulder.

"you're not alone," the waiter informed jimin mysteriously, and the weight on his shoulder receded.

not alone? jimin felt around on the table. no cutlery. no plate. no glass.

"come back," he whimpered.

no namjoon. no waiter.

he sighed loudly, and a chuckle sounded from opposite him.

waiter?

"hey, jimin."

that is not the waiter.

jimin shrieked.

the babble of conversation from the other tables cut off abruptly, and jimin had just whapped a hand over his mouth when it continued as if nothing had happenedㅡwas people randomly screaming out of nowhere normal here?

jimin coughed awkwardly as soft laughter ensued from the other side of the table. "s-sorry, you must beㅡi didn't realize." how was he already here? hadn't hoseok been waitingㅡ?

"it's okay." jimin could already feel himself getting hooked onto the sound of namjoon's voiceㅡit was that perfect proportion between cute and just really fucking cute. "i must've surprised you pretty bad."

"good. pretty good," jimin said hurriedly. surprised me pretty good? what? "um, i just thoughtㅡi thought i was early."

"you thought wrong." another laugh.

jimin wondered how early namjoon must have come to have evaded hoseok, but decided against asking himㅡso far, the only major thing he'd talked to namjoon about over chat was hoseok and taehyung, and continuing on with that would probably be rude ... right?

he looked around nervously, which was pretty pointlessㅡeverything was the exact same shade of black. but jimin needed to do something or he'd go insane and karate chop the table or some other normal park jimin response to nerves.

"say something," namjoon urged playfully. jimin blinked a couple times before racking his mind for something vaguely intelligent to say.

"um," he began. "hi."

another bout of laughter erupted from namjoon, and jimin suddenly felt extremely self-conscious, pulling his sleeves over his hands timidly. "what?"

"your voice," namjoon giggledㅡwhat else could you call a laugh like that? "it's adorable."

jimin covered the lower half of his face instinctively, feeling a burst of heat in his cheeks. was his voice going too high-pitched? he needed to calm down. "i-i'm sorry."

"what? no, it's so cute! i mean, i did imagine a slightly different voice for you, not gonna lie, but it'sㅡcute!"

only after almost twenty seconds of staring ahead blankly with his mouth gaping open did jimin realize that namjoon had just complimented him and he hadn't said a word.

"thank you," he spluttered out. "i imagined a different voice for you, too ... i guess." doing voice-overs while reading texts was a kind of instinct to him.

namjoon cleared his throat. "so is this a good different, or ...?"

"good!" jimin answered immediately. "great! fantastic, actually!"

namjoon laughedㅡagain, but jimin wasn't complaining. his laugh was like a drugㅡaddicting and mind-disorientating as hell.

"you laugh a lot," jimin pointed out casually, hoping it hadn't sounded like he was against the fact as he most certainly was notㅡnamjoon's random chuckles and giggles were the only thing keeping him from bolting away.

"and you don't. i guess it's a surprise for both of us, considering how much you use lol, rofl and lmao"ㅡthe fact that namjoon had pronounced them just as they were spelt was oddly endearing (llama-oh?)ㅡ"and i don't."

jimin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. in the few minutes he'd texted namjoon, he couldn't seem to remember using any of the abbreviations he'd mentionedㅡhell, he couldn't remember the last time he'd used an abbreviation ... his texting style was heavily restricted.

maybe he'd just forgotten.

"do we have to order?" jimin asked lamely.

"nah," how could namjoon sound so at ease? wasn't he nervous at all? all jimin could see coming was a deadly awkward silence, and he was not looking forward to it. "we just have to give the guy specifications about the mealㅡallergies, veg or non-veg, the likes. i took care of it while i was waiting for you."

"ah." jimin fumbled with his sleeves, "how ... long, were you waiting, by the way?"

"a while."

for fuck's sake.

it suddenly struck jimin that he could sneak away whenever he likedㅡit would probably take namjoon longer than usual to notice his absence because it was him, jimin, self-proclaimed king of late replies.

and then hoseok decided to float into his mind on his little pink cloud with that unnerving smile of his while random rainbow ponies and planes flew in the background with banners spelling out 'do not fuck this up, park jimin', and he thought to himself, well, that settles that.

a sudden clatter of a plate snapped him out of his reverieㅡwait, a plate?

"hallelujah!" namjoon cheered. "praise the lord!"

jimin felt around the table until his hand came into contact with cool porcelain, and on feeling around the edge he came to the conclusion that it was, in fact, a plate.

"when did they even set the table?" he murmured in awe, feeling the area around the plate to discover a knife and fork. he fumbled for a few moments, struggling to hold the cutlery the right way.

"right?" namjoon sounded equally impressed. "i just randomly brought my hand down on the table and boom, it was there! this place deserves better reviews."

"how do they even move around so quietly?" jimin reached out further on the table to find a glassㅡfull, he discovered on sloshing its contents around. "it's kind of ... creepy."

"psh."

jimin closed his eyesㅡhe was starting to develop a headache from his eyes searching in the blackness for an anything. maybe he could take a quick nap? no harm done ... right?

"knock knock."

jimin's eyes snapped open. "uh, i'm awaㅡhere. i'm here." dammit.

"you're supposed to say 'who's there'."

jimin stared into the dark, eyebrows raising. "are we really doing this?"

"i want to hear you laugh."

"well," jimin rolled his shoulders in preparation, "you could have just asked!" he cleared his throat, before releasing what he considered the heartiest laugh any human was capable of.

silence from namjoon.

my dearest hoseok hyung, jimin composed an explanatory letter in his head, i sincerely apologize for the date not working out, but evidently my laugh did not abode well withㅡ

"that was so fake," namjoon finally spoke up.

jimin released a pent-up sigh. "jesus, i thought i'd scared you awaㅡwait, what?"

"knock knock."

jimin really prided himself in his fake laughs, and hoped his offence at namjoon's comment was visible in his voice along with the considerable reluctance as he said, "who's there?"

"h."

"h who?"

"bless you!"

awkward pause.

jimin forced out a laugh.

"so fake," namjoon sighed.

jimin scoffed, "do you expect me to genuinely laugh at a joke like that?"

"well, yㅡAHA, GOTCHA!"

jimin started in his seat, almost spilling his water. "whaㅡ"

"you got me, sir," a voice sighed from above him.

"i sensed the waiter, jimin!" namjoon exclaimed excitedly. "i got him while he was serving us! i got him!"

"please let go of my arm, sir."

jimin smiled sheepishly into the dark for the waiter to see. "um, sorry about him. he's a bit ... mentally challenged."

"not a problem," the waiter assured him, and the smell of hot food hit jimin full in the noseㅡhe hadn't realized how hungry he'd been until then.

"mentallyㅡ" namjoon began incredulously, but jimin shushed him, and he surprisingly obeyed. once jimin was sure the waiter had left to attend another tableㅡin all honesty, he could never really be sureㅡhe muttered, "i saved your ass from seeming like a total nut job, be grateful."

"no, you tried to save my ass by making me seem like a total nut job, so no thanks to that." a pause. "wait, my what?"

"what about your what?"

"tried to save my what?"

"your ... ass?" jimin replied uncertainly.

"ass."

"yes ...?" jimin shook his head, confused. "why are we talking about your ass again?"

"it's just, uh, you've never ..." jimin couldn't exactly visualize namjoon's face since he'd technically never seen him, but he could imagine an expression to match his toneㅡbaffled, at a loss, an edge of ... suspicion? "i didn'tㅡuh, you've never really ... sworn. like, ever."

jimin was pretty sure he'd sworn at least once in his text conversation with namjoon, however short it had beenㅡswearing was a kind of in-built feature of his.

that and the abbreviations. had he been half-asleep while messaging namjoon?

jimin sighed, deciding to dismiss itㅡconfusing each other with what had gone down during their texting conversation wasn't necessary for their face-to-face interaction. "would you prefer the term gluteus maximus?"

"um, well," jimin was a bit worriedㅡstrike that, a lot worried about how fast namjoon's tone had changed from peppy to uneasyㅡhad jimin fucked up? "you know what, never mind. let's just ... food. eat. yeah."

jimin bit his lip, then shrugged to himself, poking around his plate with his newly acquired knife and fork. "did they tell you what they served?"

"nope." jimin could hear the food rolling around namjoon's mouth as he spoke, and he stifled a laugh.

"maybe they would have if you hadn't assaulted the freakin' waiter."

"hush. and whatever it is, it tastes hella good!" jimin was about to add a comment when namjoon added quickly, "before you ask, i got you vegㅡi wouldn't forget."

jimin was non-vegetarian.

confusion after confusion was piling up on his plate, and jimin couldn't stomach any of it.

of course, it wasn't that everything didn't have a valid excuseㅡi forgot. he forgot. hoseok forgot. but what if no one forgot anything?

uh, that just makes you delusional, man, his mind told him.

that couldn't be right.

hoseok forgot to tell namjoon that i'm non-vegetarian, jimin reassured himself. or something. yeah, that totally makes sense. it's not like the majority of korea's population is non-vegetarian or anything.

"yeah," he mumbled, deciding not to mention the other's mistake as he'd just recovered from the whole 'ass' episode, before stabbing a piece of food with his fork and popping it in his mouth. broccoli. the whole 'taste-heightening' part wasn't helping either.

"okay, back to mission," namjoon announced, followed by a clatter that jimin presumed was him setting down his cutlery. "i have this friend who makes dumb uncle jokes day-in day-out, wanna hear a few?"

"don't we all have one of those friends?" jimin sighed, giving up on his food and taking a sip of water instead. "come at me with your worst."

"what's the worst thing about throwing a party in space? you gotta planet."

"heard that one."

"what does a house wear? address."

"llama-oh."

"what's brown and stiㅡ"

"a stick."

jimin stared across the table smugly as namjoon drummed his fingers against it in thought, until he stopped abruptly, snapping his fingers instead. "this is the one."

"bring it."

"i used to go fishing with skrillex," namjoon began.

jimin could already feel a laugh rising in his chest, but he fought it down, instead looking away. "that's nice."

"yes. i used to go fishing with skrillex ..."

a dramatic pause.

"but he kept dropping the bass."

jimin bit down on his lip, nails digging into his palms as he balled his fists.

namjoon snorted.

jimin lost it.

it was a terrible joke, a terrible joke that jimin found freaking hilariousㅡnamjoon's tone had been priceless. he couldn't really describe the laugh that exploded out of him in that instant, but he knew that he didn't have the breath for it and that it was uncontrollable. he may have even slammed his head into the table a couple times to terminate it, but if he had he really couldn't remember.

"are youㅡ" namjoon was laughing too, and jimin wasn't sure if it was at his own joke or at jimin but he honestly didn't care because namjoon's laugh was beautiful, "are you okay?"

"do i look okay to you?" jimin managed to get out between high-pitched inhales for air. he stuffed a fist into his mouth and took steadying breaths, gasping out, "theㅡthe bassㅡ"

"i can't exactly see you, but you don't sound okay." namjoon seemed to have succeeded in calming himself down, as he let out a composed chuckle. "i think i preferred the fake laugh."

jimin didn't say anything, not because he was hurt by the comment or something but because he had a fist in his fucking mouth, which was the only thing between him and bursting into crazed laughter again.

he didn't have to, though, as namjoon added immediately, "i'm kiddingㅡyour laugh is so fudging precious, i swear."

anything could set jimin off again, even the fact that namjoon had used the word 'fudging' as a replacement for the swearㅡhe snorted on his fist and nodded, eyes tearing up from repressing his laughter.

and then there was the silenceㅡnot the awkward one that jimin had been dreading the entire evening, but the comfortable, content one that he'd thought only existed in cheesy rom-coms. the kind that made him feel all fuzzy and warm and happy insideㅡhe hadn't known about that part until then.

"hey, jimin?"

jimin took his fist out of his mouth. "yeah?"

"can i hold your hand?"

"um," jimin felt his face heat upㅡthat he hadn't seen coming. "it was kind of in my, um, mouth."

"okay."

"and now it's all sweaty and ... stuff." goddammit, sweat glands. "is it hot in here or what? haha."

"okay."

"yeah, i don't think so."

"puh-lease?" namjoon begged. "hands say a lot about the person! like, you know, if they're wrinkly, or ... or ..."

"or?"

"i'm all out."

"there we go. and besides," jimin made a useless attempt at wiping his palms off on a napkinㅡthey were covered in sweat again in seconds. "all you're getting from me is slimy."

"please?" namjoon asked desperately, drawing out the syllable in a whine.

jimin sighed, which namjoon must have understood as in defeat as he whooped.

"fine, you may hold my hand if you wish to so dearly," jimin smiled, rolling his eyes as he placed his hand on the table. "that is, if you can find it."

"i'll have to find you, huh?" a confident chuckle. "i've gotten pretty good at that. let's go, jimin."

jimin braced his hand for contact until another one enveloped it completely, and a shiver went through his arm.

"gotcha."

"whatever," jimin sighed, trying to sound nonchalant but how could he when namjoon was lifting his hand finger-by-finger and rubbing each one between his thumb and forefinger? was that even normal, the fuck?

"is this your little finger?" namjoon suddenly piped up mid-hand inspection.

jimin took a moment to register which finger he was on before exclaiming angrily, "that's my index finger, youㅡ"

"alright, alright," namjoon chuckled. "no need to get feisty, babe."

jimin froze. babe? "b-babe?"

"too soon?"

WE STARTED TALKING LITERALLY A DAY AGO, inner jimin screeched, BUT NO IT'S COMPLETELY FIㅡ"u-um ..."

namjoon stopped playing with jimin's fingers and instead knitted his hand through jimin's, which wasn't any better for his heart rate. "i'm so glad this worked out, jimin."

so it had worked out. jimin had thought that he was the only one who thought that, considering how weird the whole dinner had beenㅡthe kind of weird he liked. he just hadn't been sure if it was the kind of weird namjoon liked.

apparently, it had.

"mmm."

"no, like, hear me out." namjoon's thumb stroked jimin's hand absent-mindedlyㅡnow he couldn't really blame jimin for not being able to listen to a word he was about to say. "you may not have been able to tell, but i was really, really, really nervous about meeting you."

"really."

"really! i was scared shitleㅡpoopless. that i wouldn't be able to say anything because you were right there, opposite to me, breathing and stuff. that i'd just mess up this whole thing we've got, over one dinner. and i've always had this weird worry that i, uh, wouldn't be able to talk toㅡuh, never mind that. it's just ... i'm so relieved, jimin. you may not get it, but it's such a huge relief to me that we're talking and laughing and, and holding hands! we can even meet up more often, if that's what you wantㅡ"

"no," jimin interrupted sharply, before backtracking carefully, "i mean, i don't ... mind. texting is fine, too. um." jimin was pretty sure that 'lol' wouldn't have the same effect on him as namjoon laughing out loud in real lifeㅡhis laugh was nice, but too nice for jimin's physical and mental health.

"whatever you say, jimin." a content sigh sounded from namjoon, and jimin felt a sudden urge to curl into a ball and sleepㅡthis dating thing was tiring. "holy hell, your hand is so small ... and chubby, and ... slimy."

"and what does that mean," jimin scoffed, "mister hands-say-a-lot-about-the-person?"

"you're small, chubby and slimyㅡminus the slimy." beat. "hopefully."

"we'll see. i could look like shrek, for all you know," jimin said playfully, though his encaptured hand was as stiff and wet as mouldy wood. hold his hand back, for christ's sake!

namjoon laughed. "i know how you look, jimin. you wish you looked like shrek."

jimin blinkedㅡnamjoon knew how he looked? this time, he couldn't help but burst out in curiosity, "did taehyung send you a picture of me?"

namjoon's hand stopped caressing his abruptly, not that jimin was complainingㅡokay, he was.

"taehyung?"

"yeah," jimin confirmed, shifting his hand slightly to remind namjoon about it. namjoon didn't do anything. "um, hoseok hyung's boyfriend?"

"hoseok?" jimin didn't like the tone to namjoon's voice, he sounded vaguely ... scared.

"hoseok," he said slowly, "your best friend in the whole wide world."

namjoon's hand drew away, and jimin felt something drop deep down into the depths of his stomach.

"jimin," namjoon's voice was stiff, guarding; constricted in an attempt to not say something that was on the verge of coming out. "who am i?"

jimin pulled his abandoned hand into his lap and fiddled with his thumbs. was namjoon acting all weird because he'd mentioned hoseok? he knew he shouldn't have brought him up again. "what do you, um, mean?"

"what's my name?" something was wrong. with namjoon, with jimin, with the foodㅡjimin didn't know, but whatever it was, his stomach wasn't feeling good. "do you know my name?"

"um, yeah?" jimin blinked as namjoon sharply took in a breath. "namjoon. you know, like, nam, as in, um, eric nam ...? and joon, like the month, um, june."

he heard the chair opposite to him draw back, and his stomach lurched. his gut instinct told him that something was really, really off, but his stomach was telling him that he was just really, really, really hungry.

"june is a nice month," jimin said in a small voice.

"could you come with me?" it was probably meant to sound like a question, but namjoon failed to achieve that.

"um, sure, but are weㅡ" a hand grabbed his out of nowhere, and jimin recognized it as namjoon's easily enough, thanking his stars that namjoon had aimed right in the darkㅡthat could have gone tragically wrong. "um, are we coming back hereㅡ?"

namjoon didn't reply, instead pulled him out his place and into another section of darkness, which jimin figured answered his question with a negative.

he sighed glumly.

he hadn't even had dessert.

[ + ]

cRYINF JEONGGUK IS SO CRINGE

yea i should probably get back 2 studying so,,,,sayanora :,,)