i'm at the point of mentally breaking down.

i know that i wrote a thing about friends and how they help me in every way they can. but it's not enough. not in a bad way.

it's just that they can never help me out if i get hurt physically. not just that, but they give me moral support. that's all they can do. and i'm only talking about online friends. my friends that i know that live near me are all forgotten. i can't remember one of them. not one.

all i've got left is the internet. i found one friend. a friend that gave me great support. but it wasn't enough for me. 

before you read on, this is not a suicide note. it should've been but it's not. 

i can't feel how my friends have really felt since they are not with me. i cant hear their voice or their sympathy. 

the only way i've had happiness in my life is by playing online games with my friends. friends that make me cheer up.

but every time i've gotten outside into the social world, i've seen so many people stare at me every time, looking at my suicidal, depressed, worn out body. only 1  or 2 people have had some sympathy in their eyes when i looked back at them. just a week ago, i've been beaten up by these people in a group of 4. countinous kicking and punching. i've been bruised throughout my body. i cant feel my feet.

i was breaking down at that point. i couldn't stand it but let them beat me up until i died.

i accepted it.

i'm crying myself to sleep everytime knowing that i can never meet my friends in real life.