But if you send for me, you know I'll come
And if you call for me, you know I'll run — Lana Del Rey, Old Money
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Not feeling was such a crime. Holding a grudge against yourself, forbidding your soul to bask in the warmth of another person. But that was the only way to keep from getting hurt. Loving someone the most means one day you can hurt them the most. That's what happened between Harry and Louis. Among those lines of their past, they never understood how unnatural the idea of being devoted to someone forever was. Harry would give anything to spend one day in the past, where he was unaware of the heartbreak the boy with blue eyes would cause.

The bare mattress would be uncomfortable against Harry's sensitive skin, but he doesn't think twice before lifting Louis off the floor and carrying him to the bed. Louis' fingers clench the fabric of his uniform, eyes glassy and lips sealed in a tight line. He watches silently as Harry sets him on the mattress and shivers at the drop in temperature because he's no longer in Harry's arms.

Louis' skin is covered in goosebumps, and Harry falls beside him, letting Louis' grip tighten on his shirt. Their eyes meet, mirroring vulnerability and secrets. Harry takes a slow breath, settling his hand on Louis' waist.

They stare at each other, or at least that's what Harry thinks they're doing. After all, Louis' physical presence is there, his mental half is far off, hiding away. If Harry could, he would strip Louis of all his suffering and bestow it upon himself. The boy with foggy blue eyes didn't deserve the harm he endured, and Harry didn't deserve to watch him slowly chip away at his own existence.

Harry leaves Louis' bedroom at four in the afternoon. He didn't sleep, just merely watched as Louis' eyes fell shut and his breaths slowed into a calm manner. He spent hours studying Louis' delicate features. Everywhere from his eyebrows to his eyelashes brushing along his cheekbones, and to the very tip of his nose to the dip of his cupid's bow that framed his pink lips. Louis was so peaceful when he slept, an angel within the chaos. Before leaving, Harry tucked a pillow beneath Louis' head and carefully spread a fluffy blanket over his frame.

The first thing he does is call his mother. The phone rings as Harry passes the kitchen, he eyes the manila folder and unfinished glass of wine before leaving through the front door. The hinges creak as he shuts it softly, and he runs a hand over his face then sits on his front porch.

"Hi, honey." His mother's voice is so kind. "Are you calling to say you're on your way down?"

Harry closes his eyes listening to the birds sing. "Not today, mom." He picks at the small chip of the wooden steps. "I can't leave."

There's muffled conversation on the other line before his mother's voice comes again. It's much clearer this time. "What happened? Are you alright? Is Louis okay?"

Harry can't help but sob, a rush of emotions hit him like a tidal wave. It forces its way through his lungs and consumes his heart, and his face falls into his hands. "God," he whimpers. "The things he did, mom." He could only say so little, the images of Louis' heavenly skin cursed with Jackson. It was vile, Louis only spoke of the burns, but Harry knows there's more damage hidden. "It hurts." Harry chokes. It was so painful to see the evidence left behind by Jackson, simply showing his presence through his sickened way of marking Louis. Saying he got to him, and he touched him.

"Where is Louis now?" She asks in a small voice.

"Upstairs, sleeping," Harry sniffles. "Can you come over tomorrow? I need someone to take care of him."

"Of course." She immediately agrees. "Where will you be going?"

"To look for a job." Harry answers. "I'm not fired but I'm not welcomed either."

"Oh, honey."

"I don't know what I'll do now. I need to know everything about Louis' case." He huffs, feeling rather angry than upset. He is close to Louis, he is entitled to know what the Millards and their lawyer will propose. He feels responsible to bring justice for Louis.

"Just let him rest, then you can talk to him." She suggests. It's clear she has no clue what do to either after all, their situation is a rare one. "It's never good to keep anything bottled up. You need to help Louis because he can't help himself."

"That's the thing, mom." Harry wipes his eyes with his sleeve. "I don't want to know more. I don't think I can." It would add onto the weight on his shoulders, and Harry doesn't know if he could carry it any longer.

"It doesn't take a blind man to see how much Louis trusts you, even after all these years, he's bound to fall back onto you for comfort. Once you've grown accustomed to someones radiant affection, you'll run back to them when it gets cold. Don't forget that."

Harry and his mother bid farewell after that. Though, Harry remains outside in the chilly afternoon air of Jasper. It was almost dark since it was winter. The sun is nearly gone, no lingering light and just grey clouds dancing across the sky. The tall trees painting the open air with the scent of pine and nature. Harry shuts his eyes.

As always, Louis pops up into his mind. He had an addiction to him, an unfulfilled desire to just be with Louis.

He wasn't enough for Louis at the moment, so he called someone who would be everything the boy needed.

The next day is Tuesday. Snow falling rapidly from the grey clouds hovering above the small town. Louis is clad in an oversized cotton sweater and thick plaid pants.  He sips on warm milk and sits at the dining table. He woke up a few minutes ago and was surprised to find Anne in the kitchen making breakfast.

"How did you sleep?" She asks, flipping an omelet. Her hair in a neat bun and clothes fit for the chilling weather.

Louis wants to be honest and tell Anne of the nightmare that invaded his dreams once again, but even he can't bear the lingering thought of it. He simply shrugs. "It was a little too cold."

She nods in understanding. "I turned up the heat, don't worry now."

A peaceful silence overtakes the air, nothing except the sizzling of the pan on the stove as Anne hums quietly. Louis pulls the sleeves of the sweater over his hands and takes a long gulp of his warm drink. He found the soft clothing at the foot of his bed when he woke up, no doubt that it was Harry who left it there for him.

Louis doesn't remember much from last night. It's all foggy like someone took a rag and wiped his memory. He could only recall getting angry with Harry, then everything fades off.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Anne asks a few minutes later, bringing two plates of breakfast to the table. Louis nods in reply, already digging into the delicious food. "I know what happened between you and Harry. The break-up."

Louis' eyes widen, and he quickly swallows the food in his mouth. "Anne,"

The woman begins eating her breakfast. "It's okay, Louis."

Louis could disagree. He remembers vividly how he broke Harry's fragile heart, the heart that he trusted Louis to keep safe and comforted. Louis looks down at his lap in shame because a woman as caring as Anne would disapprove of his actions. "I'm sorry."

She smiles softly from across the table. "I'm not one you should say sorry to."

Anne was right, as always. Harry was the one left broken and alone, and it was all Louis' fault.

"How," Louis tries to find the words, "did he handle it?"

Anne sighs. "He cried, a lot." She informs. "He stopped going out. He wouldn't leave his room or even open his bedroom door. When he did leave, it was only for a few minutes at a time. He was always quiet, timid. I knew he wanted to disappear."

"Listen, Harry, the only reason Louis was with you in the first place was for his safety—"

"I can still protect him." Harry pulls at his hair. "Liam, you can't do this. Where is he going to stay?"

"He can go back to the motel."

Harry couldn't believe the words coming from Liam's mouth. He couldn't let Liam force Louis back to that dreadful, horrid motel that caused him to have a breakdown. "Liam, you know what happened there."

"I do, and the Millards aren't making any of this easy. They still believe their son is innocent." Liam says over the phone. "Their lawyer wants to talk to Louis."

"Well, they aren't getting anywhere near him," Harry mutters. "All they want is to bribe him."

There's shuffling on Liam's line. "I have to go now, Harry. I'll call you when I can." He says in a haste.

"Wait," Harry exclaims, his deep voice bouncing off the walls of his truck. "Just, please. Please don't take him from me. I can't lose him, not again."

"Harry," Liam sighs. "That was a part of your job, and you don't have one anymore."

"Liam, I'm begging you." Harry's eyes water. "I've seen him at his worst, I'm the only one who can keep him intact. He trusts me, and trust from him doesn't come without responsibilities. I know I've mistreated him, I know that my behaviour wasn't the best, but I'm better now. I would do anything to keep him safe." Harry would do anything to keep Louis warm.

Moments go by and Harry listens to his own ragged breathing. "Okay." Liam finally speaks. "I'll talk to the chief. But, you should ask yourself, does Louis need you, or do you need Louis?"

NOTE: ahh i've had major writer's block lately for all my stories, i'm trying to get into a schedule again. i promise. i hope u all enjoyed this chapter, i'm sorry it's short.