IT WAS AT a midnight noon when i saw a shadow. the room was dull, the windows were blurred, my heart paced. i was having no dream, it was an empty blank space. the closest we get to death without truly encountering it. well, that's a lie, because we all consider you death.

you hurt us, you hurt her, you never let me see you. only your outline. only delusions and warping of the reality i doubt now. i never remembered you before this. i now remember your dyed blonde hair and your arms cradling an infant me. i have dreams that i feel as if i should never dream. dreams with you, and i cannot tell if it's the real you.

you only stood there tonight. you only teased me, you only made me doubt. you were gone in the time it took me to register your odd frame. and i sat there, upright, my body sore, my eyes drooped, having only one question.

WHY.