(Tyler's pov)

Josh and I laid on the fuzzy carpet of my bedroom. He held me in his arms, with my hand pressed upon his chest. Our feet were inches away from the altar, and it felt as if Jesus and our Holy Mother were watching us.

In my thoughts, I went beyond my Catholic belief and truly believed that God knew that I was in love with Josh. Despite that fact that being with a man is a sin, I know God will forgive me because I am still His child, same for my boyfriend.

During the 3 years of being together, there have been many times I've gotten into bed with Josh, but we never had sex. I wanted to wait until our relationship grew into something more serious, which at this point, the time may have come. We don't know when we will reach the eventual carnal stage, but it will come when we at least expect it.

As we laid together, Josh hummed to me, as he was enjoying my body resting against his.

"My, Tyler." He whispered. "We've come so far."

I nodded.

"Yes, darling. We have."

"I want us to grow old together, and to be happy."

"I do too."

Josh laid his eyes upon the pictures of the Immaculate Hearts of Jesus and Mary. When he did, he began to think.

"Tyler, when we get to Heaven, do you think Jesus will be happy with us?"

"I believe so." I said. "Love is love, regardless of gender."

"I know, but do you think He will be happy with what we've done on earth, despite being sinners?"

I could tell that Josh was feeling some doubt. It's normal to reexamine yourself if you don't feel like you're doing the right thing.

Josh has come a long way since the 3 years of being together. I was the one who saved his life, and God gave him another chance. My boyfriend still wants validation from others, especially Christ.

So, I answered Josh's question.

"When we get to Heaven, when God sees the good things we've done, He will be happy with us. Christ is our mediator, and He will always make a way."

I touched Josh's cheek.

"He will be proud of us."

I gave him a kiss on the lips, which led to us embracing each other once more. Josh's lips reached my neck, and I breathed into his ear.

"My... love, I am so in love with you."

Josh moaned.

"I am too."

As we loved on each other, our moment ended when my mother's voice called to us.

"Tyler, Josh, come on down! We're about to start!"

"Okay, mother! We'll be right there!"

Josh and I quickly gave each other one last kiss, then went downstairs to meet Josh's family.

~

Once everyone was gathered around the dining room table, we held hands in prayer. In our Monday night tradition, my mother would choose someone from Josh's family to say the prayer, since all of us said it during the week.

This time, Josh was chosen.

"Josh, would you do the honor of saying the prayer?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I giggled when my mother chose Josh, but I held it in. Taking each other's hands, Josh began to pray.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Amen." We all said.

Once the prayer was said, we sat down at the table and started making our plates for dinner. Usually, my mother was the one who cooked, and sometimes Josh's family would bring dinner.

Tonight, my mother made her homemade Alfredo pasta, which was my favorite meal ever. It was also Josh's favorite as well.

As we began eating, Josh's mother, Laura, began to speak.

"Kelly, you certainly know how to make good Alfredo."

My little brother, Zack, turned to look at Laura.

"Grandma's recipe." He said. "Mom learned it from her."

"Well, Zack, it definitely shows." Jordan said.

His comment made my brother blush, causing him to chuckle.

"You need to come over more!"

"I plan to!"

Josh's little sisters, Ashley and Abigail, quietly ate and tried not to listen to the conversation between Jordan and Zack, as they knew how close they were.

Laura turned to look at me as I took a few bites from the meal.

"Tyler, I've heard you are gonna be singing at the Christmas Midnight Mass."

I looked at Laura.

"Yes ma'am. I am."

"What song is it?"

"O Holy Night."

"I love that song!" Abigail said. "It's my favorite!"

"Mine too!" Ashley added. "Oh, Tyler, we are going to cry hearing you sing!"

I chuckled.

"Well, at least you'll enjoy it."

I turned to look at Josh and quietly slipped my hand onto his hand from underneath the table."

"You'll enjoy it too, right?"

Josh looked at me and nodded.

"Of course, Tyler."

We smiled together and finished off the meal, as did everyone else.

When we were done, I helped mother clean off the table and wash the dishes, while Josh visited with my family and his. As we cleaned, my mother took little notice of how I was with Josh, but it seemed she didn't suspect much.

"You and Josh have gotten closer since what happened to him." My mother said.

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, you both are constantly together, and you're very protective over him."

I placed the last plate into the dishwasher.

"Mother, Josh is my best friend. He would've been dead long ago if it wasn't for me."

My mother took a deep breath, then gave an honest grin.

"I know, and I understand. You did save his life, and you brought him to the truth. And for that, you should be there for him."

"I will always be there for him."

I love Josh, and I'm always going to love him. I'll give my life for him if it ever comes to that point, but God forbid anything happens to us.

~

After Josh's family left, Josh decided to stay a little longer. We spent the rest of the time in my room. When we got there, we kissed until we got tired, then just hung out.

Josh laid down on my bed, while I sat over him and caressed his fluffy pink hair. We were smiling at each other the whole time.

"I didn't know you were going to sing." Josh said.

"I know." I replied. "Miss Byrne asked me at the last minute. She said that the choir director couldn't find anyone else to do it."

"Well, she certainly chose the right guy, because you sound like an angel."

I smiled and kissed Josh on the cheek.

"Thank you, darling."

"Why don't you sing for me now?" He asked.

"Why now?"

"It'll give me a preview of your voice."

Josh asking me to sing a song was something that I could not refuse. So, I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and led him over to the piano next to my altar.

Sitting down in front of it, with Josh by my side, I laid my fingers against the keys.

"What are you gonna sing?" Josh asked.

"A song that I wrote."

"What is it?"

(Start song)

Answering his question, I began to play a tune, which was of a song that I wrote when Josh and I were going through troubles in our relationship, but we pushed through because of faith.

As my fingers danced across the piano, I began to sing.

You're scared when you say
You talked to them today
When asked your faith

You'll cry, no sound
Wipe the tears with your doubts
And die again

I can't sleep, just takin' time off my feet
But my head instead is going a hundred miles a beat
And I'm thinkin' as my sinkin'
And he's winkin' at me
'Cause they know the desperation and temptation is free, do you see?

I can't live this way just to write a song to play
Just to stay alive, just enough to breathe away
Another day, another face
And will lose another race
Save me now 'cause tomorrow's gone
Just like yesterday

They laugh in your face
'Cause they took your grace
But did you give it away, oh yeah

They cry no sound
Wipe the tears with your doubts
And die again

On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake
As the trees, they await and clouds anticipate
The start of a day when we put on our face
A mask that portrays that we don't need grace
And the meaning and weight of the day is lost without a trace

On the eve of a day that is bigger than us
But we open our eyes only because we're told that we must
And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead
Desperately yelling out there's somethin' else in this world that we need
And it happens to be free

As I sang, emotions swelled around me, as the music grew stronger and deeper. Josh may not notice, but I had tears in my eyes, as this song meant something to me.

I won't be afraid
I won't be afraid
I won't be afraid

He is strong
And I'll live another day
I'll live another day
I'll live another day

He is strong!
And I won't be afraid!
I won't be afraid!
I won't be afraid!

He is strong!
And I'll live another day!
I'll live another day!
I'll live!

'Cause I can't sleep, it's just takin' time off my feet
But my head instead is going a hundred miles a beat
And I'm thinkin' as I'm sinkin'
And he's winkin' at me
'Cause they know the desperation and temptation is free, do you see?

We can't live this way just to write a song to play
Just to stay alive, just enough to breathe away
Another day, another face
And I will lose another race
Save me now, 'cause tomorrow's gone
Just like yesterday

When I concluded the song, I looked up to Josh, who had his hand attached to mine. It was his first hearing my song, and I know it touched his heart.

He reached over and wrapped his arm around me, kissing me on the side of my head.

"It was beautiful, my love."

I smiled.

"Thanks, baby."

Josh lifted my face to his.

"We're gonna be okay. No matter what happens, we'll always be together."

Sealing the promise, we shared another kiss. I know my song reminded Josh of what we have for each other, and I know it will last forever.

My love for Joshua Dun will always remain strong, for as long as I live.