December 9th - Alison

Alison Butler paced around her kitchen, stopping to stir the ground beef as it cooked in the skillet. Cole gave her a big smile when she told him it was taco night. It was no coincidence she was serving both her children's favorite meal. Her stomach felt sour, and she wasn't sure she could eat. She planned to wait until they had eaten both their dinner and the whoopie pies she bought as a treat. At thirteen, would Cole suspect something was wrong?

She remembered the night they had told the children about the divorce. She and Curtis had taken them out to Red Robin their favorite restaurant and let Cole order a chocolate milkshake even though it would fill him up before his burger arrived. He always complained when Alison said no. At the time he wasn't even eleven and hadn't grown his hollow leg. Now he could drink all of the milkshake and eat his burger with a refill on the fries. Maybe she should have taken them out, she suddenly second-guessed herself.

It had been over two years since Curtis moved out and Alison finally didn't feel lonely anymore. She had been almost as lonely in her marriage, as she was when she decided she couldn't make it work anymore. It was hard being married to a man she didn't love. Without love, over the years it became increasingly difficult to like him. They hadn't dated for very long when they married, but it was the best option when she became pregnant. At first, she was so wrapped up in the pregnancy and then Cole as a baby the marriage was fine. For all his faults as a husband, Curtis was a really good father. Alison worked hard to be happy, because she didn't like to fail. By the time Cole went to school, she was miserable. Curtis knew she was unhappy and tried. He listened to her and helped around the house and as a result instead of asking for a divorce, she announced her second pregnancy.

Again, when she was expecting Keira and busy with her new baby, everything was better - never perfect but better. When Keira started school, Alison finally found the courage to tell Curtis she wanted a divorce.

He looked at her as if she were crazy. "Is this because I said no to the house? I told you I don't want to live at the beach in the winter."

They had been casually house hunting hoping to move out of Portland. Alison fell in love with a house on The Point. It was expensive, but they could save money because they wouldn't have to pay private school tuition if they moved out of the city. As a photographer, Alison wanted to be close to the beach for photo shoots, and the room above the detached garage would be perfect for a studio. She could work from home and be with the kids after school. Ironically, while she was buying a coffee, she heard the house was on the market because of a divorce.

"It isn't about the house, it's because I'm not happy. You work long hours and come home and as soon as the kids are in bed, you sit in front of the TV. When was the last time you asked about my day?"

"Fine, how was your day?" He sounded like a whining child.

"You need to care to listen to my answer if you're going to ask." She sighed.

"Will you forget this divorce stuff, if I agree to that house? Keep in mind it'll take me longer to get to and from work. You know it's because I work we're able to afford the house." He was very successful, but finances were not a reason to stay in a marriage. "In return, it would be nice if you could be in the mood once in a while. Maybe I sit in front of the TV, because I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting sex."

Alison agreed, and they moved into her dream home and she tried to make it work. She feared she would lose the house in the divorce, but eventually, she decided the house was just a house and her bigger fear was losing herself. Because he wasn't a bad guy, Curtis let her keep the house. She had the mortgage, but with alimony, child support and her income she made it work - mostly. She wished she didn't have her credit card debt.

The news she needed to share with her children was good for her, but she was afraid they wouldn't see it the same way, especially Cole. The divorce didn't take away her loneliness, so after they settled everything she began spending time online in the evenings. It was on a single parents' site where she met Bryan. At first, she thought he was too good to be true, but he was an open book and she had proven he was exactly who he said he was. Unlike her, Bryan was a widower. His wife had died about a year before she started her divorce proceedings. She had been sick a long time, and he too was lonely. It was easy to find the obituary for Linda Keller and the articles to prove Bryan was the fire chief in a small town in Ohio which she had never heard of.

During one of their hundreds of phone calls over a year's time, he told her the town was too small and he was tired of sympathy at every turn. "They mean well, but it's impossible for us to move on. Sam and I take turns on who's struggling the most."

Bryan loved his wife, but it didn't bother Alison, because he was in love with her too. Even before they had met in person, they couldn't deny the depth of their feelings. After Bryan came for the weekend in October, they were both certain they wanted to be together.

Alison prepared her children's tacos, soft shells with just cheese and meat for Cole and a hard shell with meat, cheese, and sour cream for Keira. She made herself a taco salad she wasn't sure she could eat.

Cole and Keira spent every other weekend and the opposite Sunday with Curtis who was back living in Portland. She had developed a steady business of photographing for local youth sports teams, including dance and karate studios. Curtis took the kids whenever she needed to work. When he announced he was taking them to the indoor water park in New Hampshire for a weekend in October, she made plans for Bryan to visit.

She had been so excited to meet him in person. Just thinking back to their weekend, she couldn't stop smiling.

Cole asked, "Mom, what's so funny? You're acting weird."

"Just thinking of a joke I saw online."

"You spend way too much time on your phone. You're worse than the kids in my school."

He was only in eighth grade and everyone had phones, including Cole. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and knew it was either her sister, Andrea, or Bryan. Both would want to know if she had told the kids yet. Andrea knew about Bryan from the beginning and had met him when he visited in October.

As she picked at her salad, she half listened to Keira talking about the assembly they had at school. She was thinking of the weekend she had spent with Bryan. Any nerves she had about meeting him quickly disappeared. She knew him better virtually than she had known Curtis the day she married him. Obviously, she knew Curtis since she was already pregnant. By the end of her weekend with Bryan, she definitely knew him too. The feeling in her belly switched from nerves to excitement as she thought about the intimacy they had shared. They were in each other's arms when they started planning to bring their children together for Christmas. It was the first step towards the future they both wanted.

"Mommy, Mom!"

"What honey?" She turned her attention back to her daughter.

"It's pizza tomorrow. I want to buy lunch."

"Okay, remind me in the morning."

She didn't trust herself to remember anything, her mind was so scattered. Cole started to stand, and she snapped at him. "Where are you going?"

"Don't worry I'm taking my plate." His tone was rude. "I'm going to play Minecraft."

"Can I play Castleland?" Keira asked, excitedly.

"I have whoopie pies and then I need to talk to you about Christmas."

Keira bounced in her seat. "Whoopie pies, yummy!"

Cole slouched in his. "I know Christmas Eve at Nana's and then Dad will come in the morning and take us to Grandma's. He'll convince you to come and you'll wish you hadn't. It's the same every year."

"Well, it will be a little different this year." Alison took a cleansing breath. "I have invited a friend and his son to come for Christmas. So I won't be going with you to Grandma's, although I'm fine if your father still wants to come for presents in the morning."

Curtis had always come very early on Christmas morning, so they didn't have to choose which parent witnessed the reveal of all the presents Santa left. Alison never minded, because Curtis paid for most of the gifts and she wouldn't ever want to miss it herself.

"Friend and his son! What kind of friend?"

"My boyfriend." Her answer was tentatively knowing there were other words to describe what Bryan was to her, but not to her children.

"You don't have a boyfriend, you never go out. You're always on your phone."

"Yes, communicating with Bryan. We've been friends for over a year."

"Oh no, you didn't meet some pedo online! You're always asking me, 'who are you talking to? Do you know him in real life? How do you know he's really a kid and not some guy pretending?' So how do you know any of that?"

Cole was yelling and Keira became upset. "Mommy what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong sweetie. We're having guests for Christmas. Go play your game and I'll talk to Cole more."

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"Well." She tried to sound as calm as possible. "You asked me a lot of questions and I want to answer them. First of all, I know he's not some guy pretending, because I met him in October when you were with your father. When I first started talking to him, I verified he was exactly who he said he was. He is a fireman, and I found articles with him receiving awards and others where he made statements about a fire or accident. I also read his wife's obituary. Do you know what that is?" He shook his head. "It's what's in the paper when someone dies. She was a teacher, and she died of cancer about three years ago."

"You said son." He was full of attitude.

"Yes, Sam is five months older than you. He's a year ahead in school. He will find out about me tonight, which will be big for him. You still have your dad, but he doesn't have his mother anymore. All I want is for you to give Bryan and Sam a chance. Christmas won't be exactly what we're used to, because we need to respect their traditions. For one, I want to wait until they come to decorate the tree."

"When are they coming?"

"Not until the twenty-third."

"But that's right before Christmas! We always put our tree up way before then."

"I know. We'll get one and put the lights on it though."

"When?"

"When what?"

"When can we get our tree?"

"I'll ask your Dad, if you can get it this weekend. I still need to tell him about Bryan. Please don't tell him." She pleaded.

Bringing a tree in and putting it in the stand was not a job she could do herself even if Cole helped. She and Curtis would be yelling at each other before they were done, because the task only looked festive on TV. She hoped Curtis wouldn't mind doing it for Cole and Keira's sake.

"Whatever."

"Cole honey, are you okay with this?"

"No mom! I don't want to talk to you anymore."

She watched as he walked away from her up to his room. As soon as she was alone she texted her sister.

Alison: Could have gone better could have gone worse.

Then she texted Bryan. I did it. Cole is not happy. Keira doesn't understand. I'm worried.❤

Bryan: I love you too much not to make it work out. Leaving work now. Call you later 😘