Y'all read the title. My brother is a disgrace to humanity.

How, you would ask? Because he eats bananas the wrong way.

Lemme explain:

We all know the correct way to eat a banana, right?

For those who don't know (cough cough my my brother cough cough), here are the steps:

1. Choose your banana.

Don't choose a completely plain yellow banana, you want a banana that's little brown to get the maximum sweetness.

Choose the smallest banana in the bunch. The smaller ones are the sweetest.

2. Hold the banana on the bottom and get ready to peel.

Pretty self explanatory, don't touch the part you tore the banana from (the stem)

3. Peel the banana half-way

Take the stem and break it, getting ready to peel. If the stem won't break off easily, then it isn't ripe enough and you need to reconsider your life choices. If you have no other life choices and you're hungry, then peel from the bottom. Don't look like a fool trying to rip off the stem all the while mushing the fragile banana flesh.

Peel halfway. Do you know how disgusting and messy the soft banana flesh tastes like? Bananas were engineered by humans to be peeled half-way. Respect the hundreds of years of artificial selection and don't peel the banana all the way (unless you want to cut it.)

4. Eat and enjoy

Eat the banana, peeling it down every so often when you get closer. Once you are done, throw it away. Rotten banana peels are nasty. Don't be lazy. Go to the trash and throw away your hopes and dreams while you're at it.

My brother has managed to undo every step of this program and manages to tick me off every time he decides to eat one. And since he has absolutely no shame, he does this in public too.

First, he hates ripe bananas. One speck of brown on it and he will refuse to eat it which makes no sense because the riper the banana the sweeter right?

Anyway, he then completely peels the banana off and throws the peel away before eating the banana. He touches the fleshy banana flesh while he's eating!

*cries in the corner*
Aren't banana peels basically God's napkins? Why does he disgrace them so?

Then he goes around and eats a banana like that and gets his fingers all dirty. When I complain to him about that he says that all he has to do is wash his hands.

But does he realize that there are bills meant to be paid and wasting water every time you eat a banana isn'tgoodatall

Ok rant over