The breeze brought deep rumbling sounds of the darkness and what lurked outside the walls. I could hear them pressing to get in. Could smell their hot breathes that carried a hint of decaying flesh, from where I lay. I shuddered rolling closer to Pitri. His even breathing was comforting. He turned towards me in his sleep, his face peaceful despite what I had told him. All the pain and death behind those plastic sheets, all of it caused by humans. Pitri's hand was clenched tightly around something, though the rest of him was relaxed. I stared at, squinting as though it would make his hand transparent. I mean it's not like I knew all my abilities, nothing happened though.

A light touch tickled at the little exposed part of his palm. Nothing. I frowned, reaching out to tickle at his nose instead. He whipped at his nose, knocking my hand away yet still clutching the object. I was very tempted to bit him right then to get him to let go whatever it was he held like a precious gem. Ooh, what if it was? I had never seen a diamond or anything of the like. The thought grabbed hold of me and I knew I wouldn't be sleeping until whatever it was got revealed.

"Pitri, open your hand please." I whispered above his ear.

I groaned as he shot up a hand, knocking me in the face while he flopped back to his other side. Rubbing my aching nose, I crawled back towards him to flick his ear in annoyance and frustration.

"Go to sleep Alice." He grumbled.

I squeaked, hopping away. "How long were you awake for?"

He sat up, his silver eyes shining in the dark night. "When you started staring at me, seriously gave me chills and woke me right up."

"Liar." I mumbled, folding my arms huffly across my chest. "Anyway, since you are awake and all. What's in your hand?"

The dark strong fingers tightened possessively around the object. I tilted over to the side look at him, when he didn't react I let myself fall to the ground staring at him. A slight amusement twinkled through the silver.

"Alice this isn't a joke." He serious tone, trying to find it.

"Oh, I'm serious. More than serious, I'm...hm...grim?"

"That may be a step too far." He sighed, glancing at his fist. "If I show you, you can't tell anyone. I mean it Alice."

I nodded eagerly. "I can keep a secret."

"It's not just a secret Alice." He opened his hand. "This is humanity's sin."

The stone sparkled in the starlight, shining a rainbow of colors that melted together into the rock. In a way, it reminded me of my blood, so many colors. I reached out to grab it, but Pitri pulled away. Blinking at him, I fought back to tackle him for it. Jerk.

"That's the stuff we were mining."

"I know." He held it up, allowing more light to catch it. "I slipped it in my pocket when everyone was busy shuffling out for the day. Whatever this is, it did something to that woman and they used it to make her even worse."

He tossed it at me, even unexpected my reflexes kicked in snatching it out of the air. Sitting up to examine it, I spun it in my hands, tracing out all the grooves and bumps. What made this little hunk of rock so special?

"I still don't see how this is humanity's sin."

"It's a metaphor Alice, this place is supposed to be one of the Hopes of Humanity yet they hid away their dirty little secret."

"And you call me weird." I tossed it back and forth between my hands, feeling the weight. "You really think this could kill all the Others?"

Pitri snatched it back mid-air, giving me a scolding look. "I don't know. The thing is it doesn't matter, not if it means killing so many people for it." He paused to met my eyes. "Don't you agree?"

My eyes tore away from his, conflicted.

Their Alice, their savior...their monster, their death.

The red words coming easier now. Less like burdens and more like whispers of freedom.

I would still be needed, just in a different way. I could still be theirs, just not how I had been told.

"Alice." His sharp words cut through my web of confusion.

"This is why I didn't want to go looking for that woman. I mean, I wanted you to know what humans were capable of, but this was too much too fast." Pitri took a deep breath, looking to the stars. "There are good and bad humans, just like there are good and bad Others. If you want to save anyone, you need to know that and help lead them down the right path."

"Perhaps, no one deserves to rule this world." I laid a hand on the ground, allowing a passing beetle to crawl up and onto it. "No one but the little bugs."

The beetle skittered across my fingers, racing over the waves as I moved them. Pitri picked it off carefully and sent it on its way, back on the ground. We both watched it disappear into the grass.

"Alice the world isn't perfect, nor are those who live on it. But that doesn't mean that there aren't those deserving to fight for that chance, to live a good life."

I rested my chin on my knees, pulling myself tight into a ball.

"It's not like they want me anyway."

Pitri scooted over, laying a hand on top of my hand. He pet it.

"Alice, I have a question." He continued when I didn't bother to interrupt him. "Why do you think you need to save the humans?"

"I don't think," I whispered. "I know. It was the reason I was created. The only reason I'm alive."

"So you say; however, why can't you just well, not?"

Heat and anger crept through me. "You want me to just give up on them! On my life, my destiny, my name!"

Jumping back from my rage, he held his hands up in surrender. "Alice, I'm only trying to point out that you are on your own now. Whatever happened to you in that building is the past, ashes disappearing in the wind. You can do whatever you want now and be whoever you want."

"I...I want to be Alice!" I sobbed, tears and snot mixing on my face. A hiccup escaped, rocking my body and soul. "I want to be their Alice and I want them to be worth saving!"

"You can't judge that. It's not fair to you or them."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I collapsed onto the ground, all those years in the dark coming back and crushing me.

"You find a new reason to live."

A new reason? How was I supposed to do that. I held myself tighter, crying a loud wrenching nose that made it hard to breath. Pitri approached again, a careful slow movement to give me time to object. I didn't though, buried too deep in my own sadness. I was lonely and unwanted, by horrible people that I couldn't help but love and hate at the same time. There were no scientists to tell me what was right and wrong. It was so much easier when they planned my life and feed me knowledge. They had made everything so clear and straight, black and white. I realized now that it had been a lie. I truly was a spoiled little brat, blinded by the word "special" and missing the "monster".

I had never felt so stupid and worthless in my life.

Pitri's warm hands lifted my head, gentle not to pull on my snarled hair, and rested it in his lap. He began humming as he stroked my hair. The blonde and red tendrils worked through to create a flowing river. The repetitiveness calmed me and the tone gave me something to hold onto. It was something that could flood my head instead of the words and pain and confusion.

A soft, deep voice drifted through the night.

When I cry do you feel my pain

Or are my tears like drops of rain?

When I laugh do you know the joy I've found

Or is all you hear just the sound?

When I smile do you see what's within

Or is all you see above the skin?

When I talk do you take in what I say

Or do you just pretend to listen throughout the day?

When I blush do you hear my heart race

Or is all you recognize just a red face?

When I frown do you notice the conflict inside

Or is all you see a mask behind which I hide?

I scared, terrified don't you see?

Because no one will ever understand what it is to be me