Ukitake X Self Harm Reader

Already within a month you've failed two missions already. But it was because you were depressed. People were calling you failure, weak, a freak, and any other horrible name they can call you.

During those times for each name you were called you would take a razor to that beautiful skin of yours and rip it, to almost pieces of what people ever called you. It got so worse one time with the names you lost a lot of blood and passed out... turns out that was tonight.

Your alarm woke you up as you saw it was almost an hour until work. You groaned in pain as you got up, the burning and the smell of iron giving you a headache. The smell already strong enough that you learned to not get bothered by it.

"Another day... another hell... like I always say..." You mumbled to yourself before turning on the water.

The sink soon turned into a bright pink while you winced in pain, but didn't want to cry out from it. That would only make it worse. Once you saw you covered up your cuts you exited out of the house, slowly walking to your office.

To your surprise your captain was back early from his sick trip. He beamed with positive energy and looked at you with his famous smiles.

"Good morning (y/n)! Sun is shining mighty early today!"

You blinked and look down at the ground. "Yeah... it is."

Ukitake sensed something was wrong and gave you a worried look. "Are you alright?"

You shook your head and rose your head up, giving your captain your best and fake smile. "Oh I'm alright sir! Just tired is all!"

"Would you like some candy then?"

Despite the hunger inside you, you shook your head. "No thanks! But thank you."

"Alright... I'll be back. Watch over the office for me please."

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was about two hours later while working on paperwork you heard the voices of your bullies. You stayed quiet so you didn't get beat up for something you never did do... always the victim of a crime you never did.

"Yo, (y/n) has failed ten mission over the past five months. She's sure to get fired from so many failed jobs."

Your bully snicker and laughed with that horrible and evil voice he carried. "About damn time! We don't need weak people like her here. The less the better for the soul society."

"But... (b/n) (Bully's name) don't you think this is going too far? I mean, we're firing a person for just being who they are. I don't like it... at all."

"Shut up! If you don't like it then join with them! People who are weak like (y/n) are just extra bait for hollows and take up oxygen to breath. Besides, when has she ever been recognized for anything she did? Only for her failure, she even broke the record of most failed jobs ever in a hundred years... not the kind of reward you want at all."

"True.... but I still feel bad for her."

"Don't be. Just be glad she's finally out of here. She doesn't have any friends anyways so she'll be a ghost, once here but never remembered."

Their voices grew farther out as you just broke down and cried. Maybe this was it... the day to die. If you were going to be fired then might as well died... better than being eaten by a damn hollow.

"I'm back!" Ukitake suddenly popped into the room.

You screamed and hit your cut arm on the desk, hissing in pain very badly as it felt like your blood was boiling inside. Ukitake ran over and tried to see, only to have his eyes widen at the sight. "(y/n)... why? Why have you you've been doing this...?"

"I-I..." The emotions were too great as you just broke down crying, crying harder than you ever have in your life. Ukitake quickly hugged you to his chest as you sobbed into his shirt, staining it with tears but he could care less while you explained what was going on.

Once you were done Ukitake gently wiped away the tears. "(y/n) you should have come to me earlier. If those guys were bulling you I could have talked to them and fixed it."

"T-That's the problem... I want to deal with it on my own... I don't need anyone help with anything.

(Lime warning)

"If it helps." Ukitake whispered as he kissed your cheek. "I love you for who you are."

He suddenly kissed you, on the lips too. You were taken back and kissed back shyly, not sure what to do since you never had a boyfriend. Ukitake seemed healthy enough today to lift you off the chair and carry you on the couch where he pinned your body to keep you up in position. You moaned slightly, enjoying the feeling of how good this felt.

Ukitake risked it and pulled away from the kiss and trailed his kissed from your jaw to your neck, soon to your sweet spot. You yelped and whimper for him to keep on going. He slightly teased you by lightly kissing it before biting down on it, not too hard nor too soft.

You arched your back in pleasure as your whole body was enjoying this, the excitement and feeling of what another human being can give you. He was about to run his hand up into your shirt until he moved away and hacked up a cough.

You gasped and helped him by leaning against the couch. "Are you alright sir?!"

Ukitake nodded and gently pushed your hand away. "Yes... I'm just not young was I use to be." He straightened himself up and smiled at you, like that make out never really happened. "It is true I was in a captains meeting about you and the head captain is firing you."

"Oh..." Your heart broke into two. Why was he smiling about this? This was horrible. "I see."

"But not to worry, I'll let you stay with me, but only if you promise to not self-harm yourself again."

The thought was almost like a dream... and you took up his offer. Ever since then you were healthy and full of life again thanks to Ukitake.

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