..... You know what? I give up on life. This story is way too weird. Btw adult context such as swearing will be here now because I suspect you get all of the 'references' and 'jokes' and if you don't and are like 7, please leave. You've been warned.

"What are you doing here, boy?"

Fu-k, fu-k, fu-k WHY THE HELL DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE?

"Um. I'm. Um."

"Speak up, boy. I cannot hear your pathetic voice."

I think he wants to eat me, yeah he definitely want to eat me. I mean I must look del-

"BYAKUYA, STOP HIM THATS KON NOT ME!"

So, on my tombstone I'd like the following:

Dearly loved
Will be gravely missed
Mighty and all powerful, our respect stays with him forever
Died fighting to save us all, we shall remember him as the hero we could never be
Beloved and cherished by huge watermelons around the world

I can see a lot of pink, it's kinda pretty, though not near as pretty as Orihime's watermelons. I'm hungry.

"Stop you idiot! That's my body, don't designate it!"

I fall to my knees as time slows, I've received a fatal blow. The pain is fierce, my body won't move. The world is but a blur, fading in the wind. I can hear shouts, they're muffled though, as if my ears have been switched off-

"Get up dumb ass, your fine."

Oh.

Ichigo drags me up on his feet, no I mean my feet, no I mean-

"Give me my body back or else." He warns me like some kinda edge lord off of some retarded movie. Well he is retarded so-

"Kon,"

"Stop interrupting my thoughts!" I yell. Lol, I'm gonna die.