The mere pressure of what is going on, the fear of how things will change and the consequences I'll have to face are enough to drain me and leave me feeling like I ran a fifty kilometres marathon. But it's good to make it home, and yes, by home I mean Nora's house, with Nora's family. Even if I kick Laura out of my house right now, that place wouldn't feel like home. There's no one there for me, only memories of good times, but the warmth and love is gone.

I have no desire to go there any time soon.

At Nora's place, aside from my best friend, there's her father and mother who are like second parents for me. And if that wasn't enough, there's also Will. I didn't think I'd miss him or need him so much until I see him again, rushing to meet us at the door where we are taking off our shoes. His eyes are wide, his expression contorted with worry but something settles when we meet eyes. I, however, feel like I deflate and I practically stumble towards him.

Will catches me before I trip or anything, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me close immediately. I let him hold me because I'm just so tired. Will is warm, Will is comfortable and I feel at ease in his arms, I feel protected and like I can let my guard down.

Being strong is not something you do twenty-four-seven, sometimes we need to be weak and vulnerable, sometimes we need someone to hold us and shield us, even if it's to just take a break. I am not invincible, I get tired and I'm scared and even though I know I can do all this alone, I'm still so glad Will is here and he's holding me.

The way Nora holds me and the way Will does are totally different. Whereas my best friend grounds me and gives me strength to carry on, Will is a place I come to take a break. I can let my guard down and allow myself to be at my weakest because they are shielding me. I feel like when I have them both, I have it all and I feel capable to do anything.

"Welcome," Will whispers in my ear and I sigh, content.

Nora and Louise walk past us, I feel the older woman's hand on my shoulder giving an encouraging squeeze before their footsteps become softer, getting away. In the meantime, I continue hugging Will.

"How are you doing?" he asks me at the same time his hands rub my back soothingly and I nuzzle a bit closer.

"I'm okay, just tired," I answer. "In my head I feel like I haven't done anything to actually be so physically exhausted, but at the same time I feel like I haven't stopped for days," I explain and feel how his arms tighten around me a bit more.

"You've done a lot," Will reassures me. "It's normal to be tired. The pressure is more exhausting than anyone might think."

That said, he pulls back just enough so we can meet each other's eyes. Now I can see the smile he is giving me, encouraging and soothing; it's a smile that tells me it's all right and I don't need to be strong right now. I know it already, but now I'm sure of it.

With one arm around my waist, he raises his other hand to cup my face, his thumb running across my cheekbone before it slides to my side, wrapping at the back of my neck, his thumb pressing behind my ear.

"You did well." Will continues smiling. "I watched your conference and you did really well."

"I feel like I could've done better, though," I confess and he shakes his head softly.

"It was good enough, don't beat yourself up about something that can't be changed. You exposed the truth and planted the seed. It's already giving good results, so don't worry."

"I can't not worry," I refute and he presses his lips together.

"You're right. I mean don't worry about what's done already. You have more than enough to worry about the future." I can't argue that, so I only nod my head and Will smiles a bit wider. "You know, it was actually hard to persuade my friends to help?" That doesn't come as a surprise to me, I actually am shocked he managed to persuade his connections to help spreading the word. "It reminded me of myself when I met you. I was so narrow minded and convinced I knew you already and there was nothing good about you. I was such a hypocrite, wasn't I?"

"A bit," I concede with a little smile. "But so was I, so I guess we are even."

"Yeah. It made me think we've come a long way since the first time we met." I sigh, thinking back of all the things that have changed in all these months, how much I've changed since I met Will.

Indeed, we've come a long way.

Will smiles as warmly as it's possible before he leans closer and presses a sweet kiss on my forehead. It comforts more than anything else, so I let him wrap me again, tightly, as I wish I could stay like this forever.

However, reality isn't something you can run away from. Sooner or later, it'll catch you, no matter how fast you try to run. And Laura isn't my only problem, albeit my biggest but not the only one and there's a pressing one that comes knocking at my door the next day.

Quite literally.

I did expect this, I knew I couldn't avoid this confrontation after being hidden for so long, so when my mother shows up at Nora's house, demanding to see me, I'm not really surprised. That doesn't mean I'm not nervous or even scared.

My mother, someone who I haven't seen in more than a year, to whom I haven't talked in months is standing right in front of me. She looks disheveled, exhausted, distressed and older, a lot older than she did the last time I saw her. Her eyes are bloodshot and the pristine imagine she always kept is shattered.

"¡Blanca Elizabeth Escobar Bello!" She shouts my name when we are face to face in the main room. I notice she didn't bring suitcase, just a carry out bag. She probably left as soon as she found out I was alive.

Once again, I'm not surprised.

"¿Qué tenías en la cabeza? ¿Cómo se te ocurre hacer semejante tontería?" she screams in Spanish, demanding to know how on Earth I thought of doing what I did.

"No tenía otra alternativa, Mamá." I explain, or try to explain I had no option.

"¡Tu opción era avisarme que estabas viva! ¿Cómo pudiste hacerme creer que estabas muerta por más de seis meses, Blanca? ¡Te creí muerta! ¡Pensé que había perdido a mi única hija para siempre!"

My throat closes up when she says those words, talking how she believed I was dead. I always felt guilty for not letting her know I was alive, but now that she tells me she indeed thought me dead, with her voice wavering and her eyes looking at me with such betrayal and desolation, I feel even worse. I can't meet her eyes and look away.

"Todo este tiempo... estabas viva..." her voice breaks when she whispers I've been alive all this time, and before I realise what she is doing, Mother is walking up to me, wrapping me in a crushing hug. I tense, my whole body freezing.

My relationship with my mother has been, to say the least, poor all these years. Awkward. Hugs and affection is not something I expect from a woman who chose herself instead of her only child, so this embrace feels weird, alien to me and I can't return it.

Sooner than I should, I pull back, breaking the embrace and trying to step away from my mother.

"Lo siento,"

I'm sorry.

"De verdad que no podía contactarte."

It's true I couldn't contact you.

"Era para mantenerme a salvo."

It was to keep me safe.

Mother looks at me with worry and sympathy, her expression torn and anguished.

"Mi niñita... Ay, Blanca, si hubiese sabido que—" I cut her speech before she can drown in her own regret.

"You would've stayed with me, you would've protected me, you would've done a million things different," I complete for her, using English because I'm getting angry. Her regret won't change the fact she didn't want to stay by my side, that she didn't fight to even take me with her. Using Spanish to make things easier for her is too much for me right now. "But you didn't know, no one knew and that's why it happened. Your regret won't change anything."

"Tienes razón," she agrees, looking remorseful, her eyes getting redder and teary. "Por eso es que las cosas tienen que cambiar ahora. Te devuelves conmigo, Blanca. No voy a dejarte cerca de esa psicópata—"

"No," I cut her in again, feeling cold to the bone as she says how she'll take me back with her to keep me away from Laura. "I hid long enough and I won't run away. I'll make her pay and I'll stay here," I state firmly. "You can't come now and try to be the protective mother you never were. My place is here and I'll stay here, doing what I have to. Fighting back."

"Blanca," My mother calls again butI shake my head, stepping farther away from her.

"You won't take me back with you and I won't hide again. I did that long enough. I'm truly sorry for letting you believe I was dead, for not calling you before. It was cruel, but it was honestly the only thing I could do to protect you and myself." I take a deep breath before I continue. "But no matter how much you try to make me feel guilty for what I did, I won't let you take me away. I'm an adult and I am responsible of my own persona. You can't force me to do anything."

"Blanca, soy tu madre y—"

"No!" I scream this time, squeezing my fists at my sides, shaking with rage and accumulated frustration. The pain and rejection I've felt for so many years finally coming out. This is the ache I've been burying for years and I'm finally letting it out, and it comes stronger and more vicious than I'd like to. "You are not my mother, you quit that job, remember? When you left me you decided to stop being my mother. And I'm sorry, but this isn't something you can take back so many years later because you feel guilty. You made your choice and you stick to it. I don't need you or your protection."

Mother is shocked, horrified and terribly hurt, and I feel guilty for doing this to her after all what I've made her go through already, but she won't take me away. She has no right to do that.

"I'm staying so don't even think of even suggesting to leave with you ever again. This is my place, the place my father forged for me and I'm going to protect it."

"Blanca..." she calls again, but this time no more words come, she just presses her lips tightly as the first tear falls down. I don't cry, I'm too cold to do that. It feels like my blood is made of ice and I don't actually feel my body.

"You can stay if you're so worried, but I'm not leaving. Do know I grew up without you and I honestly don't need your attempts to protection." I know my words are hurting her deeply, but I can't fake right now. I'm tired of that. I'm too worn out to mince my words. "I would, however, appreciate your support. If you want to do anything for me, just let me do what I have to do."

Mother looks at me with such a broken expression and I think she finally realises I'm not the little girl she left behind. I grew up, I'm an adult now, making my own choices and fighting my own battles. She missed how I became who I am and the realisation hurts her deeper than whatever I could've said.

Just like everything that has happened already, this is unchangeable and no amount of regret will fix what it's already settled. Our relationship will never be mended.

"I'm sorry," I apologise one more time before I wrap my arms around my waist and take another step away from her.

I don't say more, I turn on my heels and walk away, to Nora's room to get my clothes to change and get ready for another hard day. It already started harder than I'd like, but I have to woman up and keep fighting. If I don't do this, no one else will.

It's my fight and I'll see the end of it.

❅ ❅ ❅

Look who is actually alive? I updated!

I'm really sorry for the long absence. In my defence, I've been crazily busy to the point I didn't have time to sit and properly write this story. Even less had I time to update or anything Wattpad related. I have two jobs and they are both time consuming, plus I've been doing some necessary paperwork regarding my future that's kept me running for weeks. But things are settling down now and I finally wrote and posted it. I was going to wait to post this chapter but I realised I made you wait long enough.

With some more free time now, I plan on finishing this story before the month ends.Only five more chapters to go!

I hope you didn't forget this story and can forgive me for disappearing like this. I'm only human and I prioritise those things that actually produce income. Yet I'm still poor. Such a sad life :(

Bel, xx

(to make sure I haven't died, you can always contact me on twitter @BelWatson)