Chapter Glossary

In Korean: "annyeonhaseyo" - hello, father
In Spanish: "mamá" - mum
In Korean: "kamsahamnida, abeoji" - thank you, father
In Spanish: "conchesumadre" - motherfucker
In Spanish: "papá" - dad

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"Annyeonghaseyo, abeoji!" I greet in Korean when I enter Nora's father's restaurant.

Because we know each other since we were kids, and as in our respective houses we spoke out mother tongues, Nora learnt Spanish and I did Korean, and as we acquired these languages when we were still kids, our accents are quite good. Speaking three languages since being a kid has helped me enormously to learn others like Chinese, that comes in handy for business.

"Blanca-yah!" He greets me back, a which smile on his face. "Nora-yah, you've are here. I was waiting."

Just like my father considered Nora his second child, sponsoring her with her studies and everything she needed, Nora's father also sees me as his daughter that's why it doesn't even feel weird to call him father, aside from the fact that it's part of his culture and language. It's because he's here and I feel at home with this family, my father's loss was more bearable to handle and why I don't need to go back with mamá, because I have a family I'm closer to right here.

"It's good to see you. The usual?" He asks, the smile still on his lips as he approaches us to receive us.

"Yes, please! I've been craving bibimbap and your kimchi. Well, all your food to be honest," I laugh with my confession, feeling just a bit embarrassed.

"Fine then, pick a table and I'll personally give you the best."

I can't emphasise enough how happy that makes me, the prospect of having abeoji's food always fills my heart with happiness.

With Nora we go to the normal table and get comfortable. A waiter soon greets us because of course everyone knows us here, and hands us a big jar with ice tea. After a while, abeoji comes with food for us, not just bibimbap but also miso soup, and kimchi pancakes, just because he knows how much I love those. Once the big bowl is in front of us, Nora is in charge of mixing it all and I can feel myself salivating for what's yet to come.

"Our girls need to eat a lot," abeoji says the moment the food is in front of us, his big and warm smile always present.

"I certainly need it," I comment, although even if I weren't feeling tired of Laura's bullshit, I would still need this food.

"Our Blanca, always with a good appetite. When will my Nora eat as eagerly as you?" He gives his daughter a sideways look that doesn't faze my best friend. She's so used to that. I think the fact she doesn't eat everything his father makes is because she's used to his skills and masterpieces, she can eat them whenever, everyday. I don't know really, it's just a theory.

"Eat loads, I'll leave to keep making the orders. I'll see you at home, Nora-yah."

"Kamsahamnida, abeoji!" We both say at the same time before we can start eating.

The food, per usual, is delicious and we enjoy it. All the while, I rant to Nora about the people I had to deal with in the charity.

"I really wouldn't mind socialising with them and all the networking I have to do, but when most of them have so much botox they can't even smile, it becomes annoying." Nora only chuckles at my words, it's something I've said a few times already. "By the way, Laura said I'm going to a new charity soon, something different. I wonder if Dean sent the info already."

With the chopsticks still in my left hand, because I won't be giving up on this piece of kimchi pancake, I look for my mobile in my purse and launch the mail app after unlocking the gadget. There's a few new emails, but I only focus that email with Dean's contact information, mentioning the charity.

I read through it and open the attached file with the schedule and details. It's this Friday, somewhere I don't even know for a cause I'm not even sure exists. It mentions something about rehabilitation for injured people, but for what I know, it could be just a big load of bullcrap. In all honesty, I don't trust a word Laura says and I think her capable of making something up just to make me waste my time.

"Are you busy this Friday?" I ask Nora, locking my mobile again and leaving it facedown on the table, focusing on my food again.

"I have a class. Training program, remember?"

"Oh right." I take a deep sigh, knowing that it means I'll be going alone to that charity event. The realisation makes me put the chopsticks down and grab a spoon to stub my face with bibimbap. "At least this time I won't go for networking but just to pretend."

"Why don't you actually try to have fun? Forget what the intension behind is and just go to help. It'll make it all better."

I just look up as I still chew the massive amount of rice I put in my mouth. Nora is aware what I dislike about charities isn't actually going there and help, but all the pretence behind and the fact I'm just being used. It makes me have a negative predisposition to whatever might be. Nora always says I should forget about that and just make the best out of the experience, but things are still fresh and complicated between Laura and I, it's hard to forget I'm not going to those events because I choose to, but because I'm being ordered to go.

"I can try," I say with my mouth full, making Nora cringe but then I give her a tight smile and, puckering my lips for a kiss she just laughs off.

"What is it about this time?" Nora asks next. "Something environmental?" I have still food in my mouth, so I just furrow my brow to make her understand I don't understand why she would think that. "To pacify the activists."

"Oh."

"You didn't see them when we left but they were still there and for what I hear, pretend to continue that for days if necessary. They want Laura to do something about new measures to reduce our carbon footprint."

"I doubt that sending me for a charity, even if it's to raise awareness in recycling, for instance, will help pacify them. Unless there's a real change, no charade will convince them otherwise. You know how they are, idealistic fools." I shake my head before taking a sip of ice tea; the bibimbap is too spicy, but I love it like that. I love that sweet taste that lingers afterwards.

"Won't you do anything either? When you sit at the CEO chair?" Nora asks me, but I shrug.

"I'll do what's needed for the company, but there's no way we can save the world at the same time. Some sacrifices have to be made, you know that. The quality in our services is something we can't jeopardise for what some people want. At the end, we need to please the people that actually buy our services, and those aren't the activists manifesting in front of the office. Dirty hippies," I mumble, remembering the guy with the speaker. I can't help the grimace on my face.

Nora is the one to shake her head this time. We have had this argument before and it always ends up in the same. I'm more stubborn than she is and it's not about doing the same Laura is doing, but about continuing what my father started. I'll just follow his protocols because I trust him more than I trust anyone else, even if he is not with me anymore.

Nora and I, despite being best friends, don't share all our opinions, we also know that trying to make the other change her mind is practically futile. That is why Nora doesn't push harder, because she knows just words can't make me change what I've been raised to do my whole life.

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When Friday arrives, I'm not even bothered by the fact I'm heading to this event. Dean comes to pick me at nine in the morning. He opens the door of the car for me and I get in, barely nodding my head in gratitude. Once inside, I plug in my headphones and listen to music as I text Nora, whining because I'm going alone. I didn't bother to look up where I'm going or how long it'll take to get there, and I won't ask Dean either. He's on Laura's side, hence I can't digest his presence either. I bet it's a very far place, very rural, where no-one will know me or anything. It'll be up to me to make marketing for the cause, so I start with posting a picture of the landscape on our way, showing how it goes changing from the very known and familiar London.

At some point Dean tells me I should sleep because we still have a long way to go and I don't mind listening to him for once, so I close my eyes, with the music playing still in my mobile. I change to a softer soundtrack of a drama Nora and I watched not long ago: My Secret Hotel. It's easy to fall asleep like this, I don't even notice, as the piano accompanies the soft and velvety voice of Yoon Seong Ki.

I don't dream of anything particular or memorable, just nonsense, so the trip is actually nice. A good sleep is necessary because it's scheduled that I'll spend the whole day in the charity. I fall asleep expecting Dean will tell me when I should get ready so I don't arrive with puffy eyes, but that's not what awakens me but a loud thud, the whole car jumping and shaking. I jerk with a scream.

"¡Conchesumadre!" I swear in Spanish, my arms spreading automatically, grabbing on to the first thing I can get my hands on.

My eyes widen, trying to take everything in as I feel the car going off the road. What woke me up was the car going through the safety fences. I don't know where we are, I don't know what's happening, and Dean is nowhere to be seen, the car is driving on its own.

I scream when my brain processes what is happening, just at the same time the car goes down hill. Literally. As someone who's at the backseat, with no seatbelt or anything, my body tumbles and crashes against every surface around, but I don't even register the pain as the car keeps stumbling down, the noise, the smell and the panic numbing all my nerve endings to the pain.

It seems to last forever, although it probably is only a few seconds, but I just close my eyes, waiting for the end. My brain knows this is the end and my body reacts automatically, trying to protect itself from the damage.

By the time the car stops, it's upside down, all the windows broken and the very shape of the car completely twisted. I'm hanging in an angle that shouldn't be anatomically possible, but I don't feel anything. My vision is blurry and I can barely breathe, every intake of air makes me cough, and the smell of petrol isn't doing it any better.

"Dean..." I whisper, coughing and spluttering blood, I can taste it in my tongue. "Someone... help."

The smoke is getting thicker and my brain starts registering the pain my body is suffering, making me agonise in the very spot.

"Get me out..." I beg, hating that I'm still conscious when I don't see a way out, when this is how I'm dying. "Dean?" I don't understand why he isn't here.

Snap out of it! My head screams. Forget about Dean, get out of here!

I can't even tell how, but I crawl my way out of the car, through the broken glass, cutting not only through my clothes but my skin. The world is spinning around me, my feet can't even hold me anymore. The burning pain from the new injuries gets lost in the general agony, all that matters is that I'm making it out of the car, and I need to hurry. I don't need to be half conscious to know the car will explode any time, the petrol leak and fumes are enough to know it's dangerous to stay near.

I'm bleeding, with several broken bones at best, I can't even breathe properly, but the human body is a marvellous thing and my surviving instinct is stronger than anything, taking me away, to the way I came from. I can't really see, I don't know what I'm doing, I just know I'm moving. I can't think, I can't breathe, but I can't stop either.

I hear and feel the explosion that even from a few metres of distance, throws me back to the ground, knocking the air out of my lungs and clouding my mind.

I'm going to pass out, here and now, I think, shaking with fear that this might be the end.

And still like this... I keep moving, crawling like a worm, trying to find help. Maybe Dean is on the road, maybe someone else. Someone who can give me a hand. Someone who can save me.

I crawl until my muscles stop responding to my brain orders, until the pain is so much I can't endure it and all I want is truly dying. The last thing I see before I give up on everything is bright lights. The last thing I hear is a loud honk. The last think I think is: papá... And then even the pain stops, it's all black.

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Oops, cliffhanger much? Don't hate much, the story is just beginning :) Also, the song mentioned here, which I honestly love and reminds me so much of Snow Patrol, is here and I hope you also love it. Just feel it, even if you don't understand what's being sung.

https://youtu.be/zH46wuF_UDc

Dedication to brokenfuturehearts

Bel, xx

~updates every Friday~