Beep. Beep. Beep.

It's a constant sound around me, like a leak, drop after drop, echoing. The darkness still wraps around me and makes me dumb, I can't feel anything and all I hear is that sound. Oddly, I can breathe again and instead of water and wet soil, I smell disinfectants.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez...

I count the beeps in my head, in Spanish. Then in English. Then in Korean. Then I even try in Mandarin. I've count until treintaiocho when I start to feel my hands, my fingers itching, my arms, and then the rest of my body.

It's so heavy and it feels foreign, but it's my body, it aches all over There's pain, so much pain and I don't want this. I want the blissful darkness where I was suspended into the nothingness. I want to go back, when it didn't hurt, when it was nothing.

A groan escapes my mouth, it carries all the pain and reluctance I feel.

"Blanca? Blanca?" someone calls my name, frantic, scared but also incredibly relieved. "Blanca, it's okay. You're okay," the voice reassures me and I don't want to open my eyes, I don't want to give up on this little bit of darkness that I still have. "Blanca, please."

Finally, I recognise the voice and even the hand that is holding mine, and because I do I open my eyes, I find Nora next to me, face marked with dried tears and a weak smile, but overall she looks so happy.

"H-hi," my voice cracks, my throat hurts so much just like the rest of my body.

"Oh God, I'm so happy you're awake," Nora exclaims, her eyes filling with fresh new tears that soon start sliding down as she clutches my hand tighter. "I was so scared, Blanca."

"What happened?" I ask, voice hoarse and a headache brewing already.

I try to go back to the last thing I remember before it was all dark and I recall the clear, hiking with Nora and Will. Then... then I remember fear and my body as if it wasn't mine. I remember Dean. Terror. A horrid taste in my mouth. Laura. Pain, so much pain. Then a fall, I remember falling into the river and giving up, hoping it would be finally the end.

My body starts trembling with the recollection of memories, the fear taking over me again and tears pool in my eyes.

"It's over. You're safe now."

"How?" I ask, because it's clear I'm in a hospital now, but I can't remember how it happened.

"We didn't get in time, Laura pushed you off the bridge before we could stop her and then ran away. I jumped after you but you weren't breathing and... and... I was so scared." Despite the horrid pain all over me, I squeeze her hand back, trying to reassure her I'm okay. Kind of. "Thank God I got you before it was too late and then the ambulance arrived, and like that we got you."

"Did you get Laura? It was her," I accuse, remembering how she hit me, attacked me and pushed me off the river.

"She ran away and she has an alibi. I don't even know how she does because I'm sure it was her, but she has. The police can't do anything."

The headache gets worse as I try to think what to do, how to fix it, but then Nora grabs my hand in both of hers, the sound of her sobs distracts me.

"I'm so sorry, Blanca. I... I should've got there sooner. I should've stopped all this. You... you almost died. I thought you had died! You weren't breathing and I was so scared," she whines, her shoulders spasming. "I thought I had lost you and... Blanca, it was my fault. I shouldn't have—"

"No," I cut her in. "It wasn't your fault, Nora," I insists, looking her in the eyes and trying to make her understand I don't blame her and no one else would dare to. "This is all Laura's doing, and we'll find a way to make her pay. I have to go back and face her. I can't keep hiding, she knows where I am."

"You need to recover first," my best friend points out. "Once you're okay we'll go back and end with all this. You're the witness, a witness she didn't expect would survive. But first, you need to get better."

I nod my head and try to reach for her face, wiping away her tears.

"Thank you," I whisper then, my hand cupping her face. "For saving me."

"I shouldn't have let it happen," she whispers, voice as feeble as I feel.

"But you saved me, I'm all right now and we'll end this," I promise. "You always have my back."

Nora smiles tiredly and I notice how exhausted she looks, the dark bags under her eyes, the disheveled hair and the same clothes she was wearing that day. Without asking, I know she hasn't left my side since I got here, and I'm not sure how long has it been but I can bet it's been more than a day.

Carefully, I move on my bed to make room for Nora and urge her to lie next to me, wrapping an arm around her and letting her snuggle close. Moving hurts, so much, but the comfort of having her next to me is worth it so I bear with it.

Eventually, I fall asleep again, too tired to keep fighting the pain and strain that is to stay awake. I'm not sure how late I wake up, but when I do Nora is still next to me, sleeping as well so I make sure not to awake her, knowing she needs this rest because she's been worrying about me, scared about my wellbeing.

I take a look around in the room, assuming it's the same hospital I woke up after the accident. At least now I remember what happened, who I am and I can speak in another language but my mother tongue. Now I know for certain who's behind.

One thing bugs me, though, the fact Will is not around. He was with us in the forest, so why isn't he in the room? Where is he? Shouldn't he be next to me just like Nora?

Okay, I can't compare the relationship I have with Will with the one I have with Nora, there's like fifteen years of difference there. However, it hurts not having him around, looking worried or even scared. Maybe... maybe I thought we had something deeper than it actually was, maybe his feelings aren't as strong as mine. I know if that if he were the one in the hospital after almost dying—again—I wouldn't leave his bedside.

It stings, the ache in my chest hurting as much as the rest my body. My ribs burn and even if I haven't seen the doctor yet, I'm sure they are broken. I was kicked so it wouldn't be a surprise. The memory of the vicious kicks makes me jerk as if I were beaten up again.

Nora stirs in my arms and when she wakes up, I do my best to calm down because that's over. i'm with her now, safe so I smile at my best friend.

"How are you feeling?" she asks me, pulling away to give me more room and comfort.

"I ache. All over," I reply honestly but I add a smile so won't worry.

"I will go get the doctor. I should've done that before, but I got caught up," Nora explains and I nod.

So she starts moving to leave the bed but before she makes it out of the room, I make sure to inquire, although it scares me, the answer actually terrifies me more than it did falling down the river.

"Where's Will?"

Nora freezes, her whole body stops moving and she doesn't even turn around, which can only mean a bad answer. I want to curl in myself, get smaller and for a stupid second I want to go back into the darkness, where I won't be hurt.

"He's... he's not taking this well. He's outside but..." Nora mumbles and I don't dare to continue for her, too afraid of what my head will decide is the way that ends. "I'll tell him you want to see him."

I want to protest because the bad feeling in my guts tells me to evade him, but I don't say anything and Nora leaves the room and I'm left alone. I stay like that for a while until the door slides open again. I expect Nora to be back, instead it's Will, looking as miserable as Nora did. However, he can't look into my eyes and he doesn't get near, he stays at least three steps away, arms wrapped around himself

"H-how are you feeling?" he asks in a whisper.

I want to say I'm not well, his distance hurts me and I don't understand why he's acting like this, but instead I just reply, "I'm all right."

He nods with tight pressed lips, still looking down at his feet.

"Why aren't you looking at me? Don't you want to see for yourself if I'm doing well?" I ask, my voice tense with hurt.

This time, Will looks at me and he seems positively distraught, desperate and scared, but the hurt in my chest does not stop, even when he takes a step closer.

"Do you even care?" I continue, feeling my eyes pool with tears yet again, a different kind of pain that I guess is only rejection.

"Of course I do!" he exclaims, taking another step, his expression frantic and hurt. "I just... Blanca..." Will takes another step and I would step back if I could, but I'm in a bed so I can only put the covers closer to me, trying to hide under them. "I saw you falling off that bridge and I didn't do anything to stop it. You fell and drowned but I couldn't move. Nora jumped after you, without thinking. She saved you! And I just stayed there, not knowing what to do."

I can only stare at him, hurt and confused because I don't understand why that would make him stay away. Shouldn't he just be grateful of Nora's fast thinking or relieved I'm okay? Wouldn't it be normal that he stays even closer, making sure I'm safe after I almost died?"

"I... I'm ashamed I couldn't help you. I didn't do anything to save you," he continues, taking another step towards me, finally next to my bed. "I... I was useless."

Maybe my head is still half numb, maybe I have some sequels from the fall, but I can't understand why that makes him pull away.

"So you don't want to see me anymore? Is that why you can't even be in the same room or look me in the eyes?" My voice wavers more than I'd like it to do, but I can't help it.

"What? No!" he exclaims, almost climbing to my bed and reaching out for my hand, but I pull away, I even turn to look in the opposite direction. "It's not that, Blanca. I'm just so embarrassed. I feel like I disappointed you. I should've... I should've jumped in there. I couldn't protect you, I couldn't save you, I couldn't do anything but I promised I would. You almost died! I promised nothing would happen to you and you drowned! Nora said you weren't breathing when she got you. If she hadn't know what to do... if we had been just a bit slower..."

This time I look at him, his desperate expression, the pain and disappointment in his eyes and the way his body trembles. I know that if I had been about to lose him I wouldn't let him go, I'd be scare to even look away.

"I was useless and I don't even know how to look you in the eyes," he confesses, his voice fragile and about to break. "I'm so sorry, Blanca."

"Why do you guys keep apologising?!" I snap, but I regret my choices immediately when my throat almost kills me and I start coughing, so Will has to hurry to give me some water I can't refuse, although I make sure to stay away from him. "Don't apologise to me. You didn't do this to me, it was Laura. She should be the only one apologising and if she does, I still won't forgive her."

"I still should've... It's just hard realising I'm useless. That my good intentions don't work for anything. Wanting to save you won't do any help if at the end I can't move, if I freeze." I look at him, trying to understand him but right now it's hard, I lack empathy and my head is killing me, let alone the rest of my body. Everything hurts, but overall, it feels like a dagger is piercing through my heart, twisting ruthlessly. "I disappointed you, I disappointed myself and I just..."

"If you say you're sorry again, I'm gonna hit you," I threaten, hating to hear apologies from he wrong people.

Will looks down, expression full of regret and shame. I sigh, so tired I think I could pass out any minute, but I'm hurt in more ways than physically. Right now I need his support, the comfort of his presence not his regret and pity party. Right now I just need him to hold my hand and tell me it'll be all right, even if it's a lie. Even if they are empty words because I can't say those things to myself, and no matter what I always believe in Will.

But he's not going to do that anymore.

It's a blessing Nora and the doctor are back because I don't know what to say and I know I'm about to cry. I just want Will to hold me, I don't need him to save me or protect me, but now he believes because he couldn't stop me from getting hurt he can't do anything else.

It's a blessing they are here because they stop me from crying and Will leaves the room again, and Nora is back, holding my hand because that's all I need right now. Just someone to hold my hand and remind me I'm here and I'm alive.

Why can't Will do that?

❅ ❅ ❅

So there you have it! I hope no one died waiting and you enjoyed this chapter. Things won't just settle down for now, this is just beginning (:

Dedication to badharrywolf

I'm glad you all enjoyed the chapter and the twist. For the whole thing about changing font and such, I meant changing the reading settings on the mobile app. You can do that easily, I even showed a sample on my Instagram. But it was still just a suggestion. I made that chapter in cursive to show the change in POV. That was all.

Also! I'm supposed to be in the ad videos project, so if you see an ad video playing, that's to support me! It's a short way to help support writers on Wattpad so I hope it doesn't bother you too much. If it does, I deeply apologise. 

*90 degrees bow* I'm very sorry for the inconveniences. 

Bel, xx

~updates on Mondays and Fridays~