I'm not sure why I can't look away, and my lungs already burn because I have been holding my breath all this time. The beating of my heart resonates in my ears, and I wonder if it's really that loud. Will is still holding my face, his thumb lightly rubbing against the skin of my cheek.

He finally pulls back and takes his thumb to his lips. Confused, my eyebrows knit together as I watch him. It takes me two seconds to realise he rubbed the smear of mix on my face, and I do because the moment he tastes that, his grimace is automatic.

"That was such a bad idea," he declares, contorting his face in the most hilarious ways, sticking his tongue out as if he needed to clean it.

I burst out laughing, my head falling on his chest as I just keep chuckling. He laughs as well, his arm once again around me, more like a hug, tight and warm and I just let him do that, not moving, just relaxing in his arms. His chests rises and falls with every breath, and it takes me with it, up and down, up and down again. It's systematic, rhythmic and it makes me feel well.

I hug him back.

His hand rubs and pats my back lightly, comfortingly and I realise this is a hug one gives to someone who's been through a lot, to someone who needs a break. I'm not sure why it feels so good, why I'm so calm like this and why I'm so reluctant to pull apart, but I don't want to dwell on that aspect and just enjoy this serenity.

"I know it's nice and everything, but the ground is actually cold. Do you think we could stand up?" Will asks, a bit awkwardly as if he felt uncomfortable for having to bring that up.

"Oh!" I mutter, unwrapping my arms and lifting my body, quickly getting back on my feet and helping him as well, but careful to avoid his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's fine," he reassures me. From he corner of my eye I see the little smile that plays on his lips. "I'm up for cuddles any time you need them."

Unavoidably, I turn to look at him with once again a confused frown, and his sheepish smile doesn't help to clear that away.

"Aren't you being too weird, Guillermo?" I ask. He's being too kind to me, too caring and it feels weird when up to last week we only bickered when we saw each other.

"By weird do you mean incredibly charming?" he teases and I have to roll my eyes.

"I'm serious," I insist, taking a deep breath and giving him an unimpressed look.

"Me too." I have to close my eyes to calm down and not snap at him for getting annoying. "What? Is it so weird for you to be treated nicely?"

"By you? Yes, it is. So I don't get it, because it's not like you just stopped hating me and magically all this bad blood here us gone." I wave my hands between the space between us two. "You're being too nice," I try to explain that his friendly attitude is weird, because since I met him he never acted like that to me and this change feels too sudden.

"First off, people can change in less than a minute. It only takes realising one's doing wrong to change and be different," he lectures me, using a serious tone this time, taking one step closer, leaning down a bit so our eyes are at the same level. "However, I'm normally like this with all the people I'm close to. I'm an easy going guy, I have no trouble showing affection and seeking for it. And you can ask around, they'll tell you I'm caring and thoughtful, so it's not like I'm treating you any differently."

I try to stay calm as we're once again so close, looking in each other's eyes. I really do my best not to blush, because it almost sounds as he's shooting me down for my delusions that he's treating me differently, when I didn't even suggest that. He has this ability to get in my head and confuse me without me realising.

"You don't treat Nora like that, though," I refute, which sounds like a bad and cliché excuse. I feel very embarrassed.

"Ah, that's because she's really cold and distant to anyone but you," he explains and I press my lips tightly together, trying to control my shame. "And I'm not close to her as to even dare being friendly."

"Oh, and we are close?" I snort, even rolling my eyes because that sounds like a bad joke.

"At least closer than Nora and I. And after all that fighting, how could we not get close?" he asks back, surprising me once again. "We have a different connection, you see?"

I snort again, detecting the teasing in his tone as he said the last part. I turn my face to my right, away from him, but with his right hand he touches my check and makes me face him again, resuming the eye contact.

"Don't you think we're close? Or that we're getting close?" he asks softly and I gulp. "I mean, I've shown you my worst side. The childish, annoying little brat I can be. Shouldn't I show you now my good side?"

"Is that necessary?" I question, feeling too nervous.

How can he make me feel this anxious and nervous when he's close? It's like he intimidates me, but I don't exactly fear him.

"I think so," he replies softly, almost talking in whispers. "I don't want you to think I'm just a twat. And believe it or not, I've grown to worry about you quite a lot."

His hand holds my face so lightly, like it's barely touching me but every tiny spot were his fingertips touch my skin feels electricity is going through. Once again, my ribcage feels too small for my heart and it kind of aches. It gets worse when he leans a bit closer, his hand firmer on my face, his nose one or two centimetres from mine.

"Do I make you uncomfortable by trying to get closer to you?" he asks and I don't know if he means physically getting closer like now, or metaphorically speaking. Either way, for both the answer is no.

"You make me nervous," I reply honestly, wondering in my head why I'm not stepping back and reclaiming my personal space.

He smiles, a soft chuckle escapes his lips and his breath tingles on my own lips. I feel shivers down my spine.

"Quite well then," he whispers. "I won't torture you any further."

And he finally pulls back a bit, standing straighter but still quite close. I think he'll release my face, but instead his other hand joins and he's cupping my face now, making me tilt a bit upwards, just enough for his lips to connect with my forehead.

My breath gets caught in my throat as I freeze for as long as his lips touch my skin, and even when he pulls back, releasing me and stepping back. It feels weird, having once again all this space for myself, the warmth of his body far from me and that tension I felt like static around us gone. I look at him and he's smiling sweetly.

"You're blushing a lot," he says.

My hands shoot to cover my face, which feels a lot like it's burning. He chuckles at my reaction, shaking his head a bit.

"Why not going outside for a bit while I finish the pancakes I was making? The kids will be up any minute," he suggests and I just nod my head.

I turn on my heels and walk away, not taking a look at his expression but being able to hear him chuckling as I leave. All of my face feel blushed, even my ears and neck and I really appreciate the cold December air the blows outside the house. I sink in a crouch as I fan my face with one hand, the other is pressed to my chest, over my heart. I can feel the erratic and wild beats in my fingertips.

"Anyone who saw me would think I just ran into my crush or something like that," I mumbled to myself, not really wanting to know how I look.

I don't want to admit it, but it almost seems like that. He makes me as nervous and anxious as if he were my crush, as if I had feelings for him. His proximity sets my heart racing and makes me hyper aware of everything.

Aren't these like symptoms of having a crush on someone?

But isn't like sick of me or something? I mean, why would I even develop those kind of feelings for someone who I really hated until very recently? What kind of pathology would that be? It can't be just because he's being nice to me now, right? That would make me cheap.

Is this the tsundere phenomenon? Falling for someone who is cold and mean at first but eventually treats you nice and shows you warmth and care? Oh, but that would make me so pathetic.

No, I can't be even considering having a crush on him, because it makes no sense. I'm certain I don't hate him, neither I dislike his proximity.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm not used to being that close to anyone. Nora has always been my only real friend, all the others I always knew were fake and around me for convenience. They sucked up to me to get something and I played along for a while, but I never really got close to them. I never allowed anyone, who wasn't family, get in my person bubble, aside from Nora. But now Will just bursts up my bubble and invades my personal space, and I don't do anything to stop him.

No matter what, I don't think Will is the type to be nice to someone just to get something in return. He wouldn't be nice to me for convenience because that'd be like selling his soul. He's righteous and his idea of good and evil are too clear as to get shady like that. Then that means he honestly wants to be nice to me.

However, saying it's my inexperience playing against me feels weak. Could it really be that I'm developing feelings for him? Like a naive school girl? The emotions between Will and I have always been strong, we really, really despised each other, we hurt each other and wanted to cause damage with our words. It wasn't just dislike, we really hated each other.

Del amor al odio, un paso. There's a thin line between love and hate.

Could that have something to do with how I'm feeling right now? How I react to Will's touch and proximity? Is that burning hatred I felt at one point turning into something else?

I shake my head, trying to push away the idea with it, but it ghosts around in my mind, making me incredible uneasy. What do I do if that's the case? Wouldn't that make me a hypocrite?

Ah, this is making me feel too conflicted and it's impossible to sort out by just thinking about it.

I take deep breaths. I need to calm down before I go back inside, I need to pull myself together. It's not like I need to know exactly what is happening, I don't need to be aware of my confusing feelings and reactions. If I'm indeed developing feelings for him, then I'll ignore them for as long as I can. I've watched enough movies and dramas to know trying to stop one's feelings is futile and it always backfires. But I can ignore them, I can be obliviously dense until the end. Maybe one day I'll just won't be able to ignore things and just say "well, I'm fucked," or maybe as I ignore all this I get used to Will acting this way and he'll stop making my heart race and all this confusion will fade away.

For now, I won't overthink and just continue as it is. That's the best I can do for my peace of mind.

Feeling more determined and calm, I stand up again and take a deep breath. I have bigger problems to worry about, no need to add silly crushes and nervousness because a boy touches my cheek or kisses my forehead. I literally have someone trying to kill me, I'm hiding and lying to the whole world about being dead. Really, why am I even giving myself time to consider this?

Just the reminder of my current situation works better to cool down than any cold wind. It's like a bucket of ice¡y water thrown at me. It wakes me up and makes me snap back to reality. I'll have time to worry and think about a boy when I'm not in danger of being murdered.

With that realisation, I turn on my heels and head back inside. My priorities are back in track.

❅ ❅ ❅

No, no one interrupted. Hehehehe. Am I teasing you a lot with this couple? *blinks eyes innocently* And talking about #Willca I did this edit the other day because I was bored and had bad internet connection (I did one for each couple in the APS. They are all on my tumblr and Instagram)

If you get, once again 555 votes before Friday, you should expect some little bonus scene or maybe I'll let you talk to one of the characters. Would you want that? To make this more interactive.

Dedication for best comment to cfancesdreamsandlove

Bel, xx

~updates every Monday and Friday~