Don't judge me for this stereotypical funeral. I don't want to go into detail otherwise I'll cry.

Blaine watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground, tears prickling at his eyes. He hadn't cried yet, and he hadn't spoken yet. Everyone had been called up in turn to say a few words about Kurt, but no one had called Blaine up, he'd asked not to be. Anything he had to say about Kurt was private to himself and Kurt, no one had to know but them.

He could so easily talk for hours about the chestnut haired boy. He could talk about the way his heart fluttered every time Kurt had said his name, or the time Kurt first told Blaine he loved him and how those three words topped anything he'd ever heard before. He could describe in detail how many freckles were dotted over Kurt's nose and how a few of them vanished and others grew whenever Kurt threw his head back and laughed, scrunching his face up in that adorable way of his. He could've easily told the story of their relationship, about how plain and ordinary it was but how Kurt had made it better than anything Blaine had ever experienced. But he didn't.

He kept his mouth shut. Because, for now at least, this was for Kurt's friends and family. Blaine was here to show support but, just like he'd done every night since that tragic day, Blaine would have his time to talk to Kurt and list everything he missed about the boy in the comfort of his own room which no longer brought him comfort.

Someone wrapped an arm around Blaine's shoulders and whispered something but he couldn't hear. He was watching Kurt's grave being filled in, the dirt tumbling off shovels and into the hole in which Kurt lay. That was his love, the love of his life, being buried. And along with Kurt, was Blaine. Blaine had promised Kurt his all, he'd promised Kurt himself. So, there Blaine lay, next to Kurt.

Blaine was shaken suddenly, presumably by the person who'd wrapped an arm around Blaine's shoulders.

It was Burt, Blaine realised as he glanced up, studying the man's tear stained cheeks and completely hopeless eyes. Blaine glanced back behind to study the faces of other people before realising there was no one there, only Burt and himself were left.

"You okay, buddy?" Burt asked quietly, "You sure you don' wanna say anythin'?"

Blaine nodded slowly, biting down on his lip, "I'm sure."

"Okay." The man sighed, "You want a lift to the house? The glee kids are stayin' round for a while. To keep Finn company an' all."

"Sure, thanks."

-_-_-

When Blaine arrived and Burt unlocked his front door, the pair stepped through. Burt walked immediately to the kitchen and fell into Carole's waiting arms, so Blaine was left to wander the house alone.

He'd been here so many times before, but he'd never stopped to truly appreciate the house. Everywhere you looked there was evidence of a loving, happy family. They were all so different, they were two separate families coming together. And despite their differences, it was clear they got along, even without knowing them all.

Blaine somehow found himself stood in Kurt's room, just taking it in. Kurt's freshly made bed still sat unused. Blaine smiled softly when he noticed Kurt's moisturising creams all lined up neatly next to each other.

He stepped forward and stood, looking at a small board with lots of different pictures pinned to it, many of the New Directions and Kurt's family. Blaine's eyes stopped on a familiar picture, it was a picture Blaine had up in his own room. It showed Kurt and Blaine, cheeks pressed together and smiling cheesily at the camera, close as they could possibly get.

Blaine tried not to break down at the site of Kurt's joyous, smiling face. He tried not to think that he'd never see it again. He really tried.

A while later, Blaine had lost track of the time, when someone spoke and interrupted Blaine's thoughts of Kurt.

Blaine turned around and found the New Directions stood there, each of them looking at him. He took this time when they all stood looking at him to have a real look at them, he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

He noticed Mercedes standing with Quinn's head resting on her shoulder, both girls had silent, constant streams of tears which was easily replicated by Rachel who stood clutching onto Finn. Finn looked completely emotionless. Blaine hadn't seen the boy cry yet either. Blaine felt a sudden surge of empathy for Finn, he knew they felt similar things. That they had to stay strong for those around them, while battling their inner selves to be rid of any emotions.

His eyes trailed over to Tina who was sobbing loudly, her face buried in her boyfriend; Mike's neck who was looking at the photos Blaine had spent so long studying.

"Hey Blaine."

Blaine's eyes snapped up to Finn.

"Hi."

"You okay, man?"

Blaine shook his head, biting his lip, "I- I just can't believe he's really gone."

"It's okay to cry, Blaine." Rachel sniffed, laying her head under Finn's arm.

Blaine glanced around at each of the New Directions again before collapsing and sitting on Kurt's chair near his mirror, cradling his head in his hands and shutting his eyes tight.

He felt a hand pat his back a few seconds later and soon he was being pulled down into a hug. He began to sob violently, crying for the first time.

He turned his head to hide it in whoever's chest had pulled him down. He remembered all of the times he'd pulled Kurt into a tight embrace or all the times when Kurt had thrown himself at Blaine and hugged him tightly. He smiled at the memory, before remembering yet again that wouldn't ever be happening again. He would never be able to fall into Kurt's arms at the end of a bad day or be able to comfort Kurt when times got rough.

He would never feel home anymore. Kurt was his home and when he was in Kurt's arms, it seemed as if there was nothing wrong and everything was right in the world. He'd never have that feeling again. Kurt was gone.

Rip Kurtie 😭

I mean, I was obviously listening to Nature Boy while writing this. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just love and to be loved in return. Why tf not. Most emotional/dramatic song Ik that hardly uses any words.

Yeah, I'm sorry that this took so long to write and that it's pretty terrible. I can never write sad things that well :(

And even tho when I reread it I was cringing hard at my struggles with writing sad things, I was still crying at the thought of Kurt ever dying. REMEMBER IN SEASON 1 HE WAS SUICIDAL!? HE READ THAT PAMPHLET. How lucky are we that Emma saw him and then later on, he met Blaine and the change was obviously different. HE WAS HAPPY! You could actually see the difference, well at least I could.

Anyway, I hope you liked it Cr4sh_th3_M1nd_