After I left Gray's dorm I decided to go home and sleep, it hurt but I wish it didn't. I've always hated the idea of 'love' it's just a useless tie which only hurts people and here I am falling into that pain myself, again. But the worst thing is, is that I don't know if it's because of Natsu or Gray. What happened to no boys Lucy!?

I called my dad like every evening but of course it went to voice mail. He left for a business trip but will be back in two days which is exactly two days before Christmas.

My mother always loved Christmas with the lights and the smell of ginger bread but it seemed that when she died Christmas died with her. I'd spend the holiday in my room with Spetto and the few gifts she would buy even though I always insisted that she shouldn't. Spetto was a maid at our mansion and my only friend there.

I'm going.

I'm going to the mansion for Christmas to spend it with my family even if it's not whole. This time I will buy the gifts for Spetto and my father will be greeted by me and not a voice mail.

Thinking over my idea I quickly got ready for bed planning the gifts I will buy.

My mind wandered from gifts to baking gingerbread but in the end I fell asleep thinking about him.

"Promise it will be forever?"

"I promise."

"I love you Lucy Heartifilia."

"I love yo-"

Bang.

I woke up panting, sweat dripping down my face. Not again. I can't do that again.

As I start to recover I notice tears rolling down my face and I give a solemn smile.

"Pathetic, here I am crying over love something I've always hated. Only if I hadn't met you."

I get up and take 2 tablets to help me sleep and I sink back into oblivion, my mind blank.

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Hey I know it's soooo short but whatever I will upload later I promise I will start uploading more! I'm currently sitting in the toilet of school coz I don't want to do French gosh I'm such a rebel. Anyway love you all and sorry for my dreadful updates!!

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- Annie (MoonlightxMavis)