eccendentesiast:
(n.)
someone who hides pain behind a smile

•••

"Even though they were few in number and didn't last for very long, the few happy times I experienced with James are the ones I hold very close to my heart."

•••

This night, they didn't sleep, they did their best to get out of Belarus and on into Warsaw, the Capital of Poland. It was dark now, on the next night.

They even used competition to motivate and keep themselves entertained. Who could find the most signs? (Natalia usually won.) Who could jump high enough to touch the chosen tree branch? (James always won.)

But now, it was about to become even more brutal. Natalia gave James a michevious sidelook. •We've hit the 5 mile mark,• she said.

James looked back at her with the same look. And they took off. Natalia knew James had a shoe in. He could maintain the speed of a car for 10 miles. So Natalia did the only thing she could do.

She played dirty. She caught up to him long enough to kick him in the shins and get as much distance as she could get, but he eventually caught up and passed her. She shot him in the neck with a taser and had the lead until James could recover and catch up. It was like that back and forth until they were in a the last 800 meters. James was now far in the lead. But Natalia wouldn't have that. They were now in a full sprint, outfits drenched in sweat, muscles about to give out.

Natalia shot him in the back of the knee causing James to fall to the ground. He pulled the bullet out and began to sprint through the pain, taking out his gun and shooting Natalia in the Achilles, sending her to the ground. She wasn't running after that. And in an extreme limp, he passes the city limits, Natalia grabbing at his heels.

They were both overtaken in a fit of laughter, Natalia pulling him to the ground with her. •You son of a bitch!• she laughed, now speaking polish. •You shot me in my Achilles!•

•Well, you shot me in the kneepit!• he clapped back, still laughing uncontrollably. •And you tased me. And hit me in the shins! All I did was run faster and shoot you once in order to claim my rightful position as winner!•

Natalia finally stopped herself from laughing. •I think I earned that victory,• she said.

•Did not, you cheater!• James, who had also stopped laughing, said.

•I earned it by cheating!• she countered.

•I won anyway.•

But an Achilles is hard to heal!• Natalia whined, grabbing her heal. •And we're going to attract attention! We cannot go around shooting each other.•

•You did start it.•

She grinned guiltily and stood up, holding her arm out to help him up.

James nodded, taking her hand. •Let's go find a motel. We'll patch up these GSW's and sleep.•

•Good idea,• Natalia agreed. They walked into the the town doing their best to stray away from any groups of people.

They found a cheap motel in the downtown area of Warsaw. Not having slept this night or the one before, they were pretty tired. They showered and washed their clothes, the usual. They cleaned, put together, and wrapped up their injuries and slept soundly through the rest of the night and a good portion of the morning.

And for once, Natalia was sure neither of them's sleep was interupted by nightmare. In fact, Natalia was the first to wake up. This was extremely unusual. She actually checked to see if he was dead. But sure enough, he was asleep. They needed to get moving, but there was absolutely no way she was going to wake him. He never slept. And he needed it so badly.

Soon enough, he was awake, mad at himself for sleeping so long. But he was so rested, he was actually drowsy with sleep. Natalia had never seen this and it was a little funny to her.

•You ready to go, sleepyhead?• asked Natalia said running her hand through his hair that was almost reaching his eyebrow.

•You might need to cut your hair, J,• Natalia pointed out.

•Nah,• he countered. •Good disguise. I'm kinda liking it anyway.•

They grabbed their bags and headed out into the streets of Poland, Poznań as their next destination. They walked for hours before stopping in Włocławek to eat. It was a sweet little restaurant. They sat on the outdoor patio and ordered Borscht and Pierogi with two cups of steaming tea.

•You know, realistically, we would have never met if the Red Room hadn't existed,• Natalia said with a sad smile.

He shrugged, dipping his spoon in and out of the crimson colored soup. •I absolutely cannot imagine my life without you.•

•The Red Room actually gave us a lot if you think about it,• Natalia said in a low voice.

•So are you saying that it was a gift?• asked James.

Natalia shook her head, her face scrunched up. But the her face relaxed, and a more undecided expression crossed it. •I mean in some ways.•

Resting his elbows on the table, he asked, •Like what?•

•Well... first and most important: we would have never met if not for our circumstances. And now you and I both have the skill, strength, and intelligence to do whatever we want. Your arm,• he said pointing at his sleeved and gloves metal arm, •Without them, you'd either be armless or you would have a wooden peg. And you never know how they got you. You could've been left for dead.•

•I'd rather be dead than to live like this,• James said, his anger rising.

•Don't get angry, James,• Natalia calmed. •Think about it. Don't let it get to you. The Red Room can't get to us. They gave us every tool to escape. It's their fault.•

•Are you finished?• James asked, stacking his plates. •We need to get going.•

•Yeah,• she said softly, placing hers on top of his. And they headed out again. They made it into Poznań and stayed the night until early morning when they decided their goal for that day was to make it to Berlin in Germany.

After about a month and a half of traveling, they made it into Oostende, Belgium where they had to make an important decision.

«Alright,»Natalia said, now speaking French, as many Belgians do. «This is where we decide where we are going to stay.»

«We should be safe here, in France, Britain, Africa, and the Middle East. But we've still got to move around.»

«I still wish we could go to America and start over,» she said dreamily.

«I know,» he agreed. «But you know just as well as I do how bad everything is. We would be caught within a day.»

«Yeah,» she said, busting the lock open on the harbor gate. «I know.»

It was early in the morning. Daylight had barely broken and summer was now in full swing. They were in the port city of Oostende in order to sneak onto a cargo boat and escape farther away from their captors.

The sky was foreshadowing a storm. They could hear the ominous roll of thunder in the distance towards the ocean. James said the sea smelled dangerous, but Natalia wouldn't know. She had never seen or smelled the ocean. But she did know the smell of a summer storm. And it was exactly that way out here. The air was heavy and the pavement below them was already wet from the morning dew.

The waves were already beginning to become restless and the warm wind slapped their faces and whipped Natalia's hair around. There were at least a dozen boats ranging from small barges to large cargo ships. The coming storm may sway the ocean but they would not sway James and Natalia. Today was the day they were to leave the mainland of Europe. Would they go to England? Would they go to Africa?

«I think we should stay in the UK. After our visit  in 1950, it's been on of my favorite places.»

«Me too,» he agreed. «Can you believe that was two years ago?»

«It's almost as hard to believe as the fact that I've been in the Red Room for four years.»

«Well,»he said, knowing very well that wouldn't always be true. «We're out of that now.»

«Yeah,» she agreed, knowing the same thing.

«So you want to got to London?»
,
«Yes,» Natalia answered for sure.

«Well, there is a barge that will be going straight the London on River Thames»

«Perfect.»

They snuck on board the barge and stowed away, almost excited to get to their new home of London.

"What are we going to do when we get there?" asked Natalia after they had hidden themselves below deck with the cargo.

"We are going to do all we can do as two of the most dangerous people defected from the most danger organization of the most dangerous country," James answered, removed his canteen from his backpack.

"And what's that?" Natalia asked, doing the same.

"We blend in. We won't exist. Live in the poor neighborhoods where no one has a name. Do whatever we can to make sure no one knows our names. No one should see our face. All we can do is exist."

Natalia sighed, attempting to alleviate her stress by massaging her temples. "They've got us either way. There's no point. At least with them we were living."

James shook his head. "We weren't living. We were slaves. And besides. We wait fifty or so years, everyone who actually cares it we escape will be dead. Then we'll live. Then we'll go to America."

Natalia huffed. "Fifty years is a long time."

He pulled their roughly used deck of cards they had picked up in Berlin. "Not compared to an eternity."

This is it. Soon enough, an ocean will separate she and James from the Soviet Union. And maybe someday, they can find someway out of their sick, twisted way of life and live the way they had images as well as they could.

The ocean air was a new experience for Natalia. She had never seen an ocean. The storming morning sky cooled down the summer air and the smells collided in the nicest way. All the things Natasha had seen since she escaped, were so different. They amazed her to the core. She wished she could travel forever. She wished she could travel as a true world citizen who wasn't a killer.

As the barge sailed, the storm got worse until the ship began to rock and creek. Natalia didn't know how James felt about it, but she was enjoying it.

She loved storms. She could listen to the clash of lighting. The vibrations from the rolling thunder in her chest. The pouring rain. The constant unpredictability. It was a reminder that even the universe was just as dangerous as she was. It was on of her few comforts on the run.

Looking out the window as James took his turn, she couldn't help but gaze into the dark, churning ocean. She watched as the waves clashed and collided, then collapsed and sunk back into their home, the ocean. The color. It was an unsteady, beautiful, ever changing blue.

They reminded her of something. Something she loved. It reminds her of something she loved. It made her feel warm and close towards the swirling waves. She couldn't put her finger on it.

"Solnishko, your turn," James provoked. She picked up her cards and turned to play. After playing her turn, she looked up to boast when she saw it. The ocean. It lived in his eyes.

She didn't mean to get lost in them, but apparently she did. "Nat?" he asked, smiling. "Are you there?"

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her cards. "It's just— I really love your eyes, James. They're like the sea after a storm," she said motioning towards the window.

He played his turn. "My eyes are common. Every other person you see has my eyes," he said. Natalia wanted to argue, because she knew for a fact that was untrue. But he continued. "You give my eyes so much credit when yours are the true beauty. No one has teal eyes. A lot of people have blue eyes and some people have green. But no ones eyes are the same shade of a Spaniard lagoon."

"Just because a lot of people have blue eyes, doesn't mean that your blue isn't different."

All he do in response was smile as he drew another card.

For hours, the barge rocked and floated and swayed until, looking out the window, Natalia saw it. She saw London, England. Even though the rain was crashing down upon the tall buildings and the Clock Tower she had learned was called Big Ben, it was still as beautiful as she had ever remembered.

"James, we're here."

"We're here," he repeated, with a smile. More often than not, his smile made Natalia sad. He was the biggest eccendentesiast that had ever lived since they escaped the Union. He would never admit it though. But in the end, it didn't matter. Thing we're going to get better.

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