cimmerian
(adj.)
very dark, gloomy

•••

"My first kills were not regretted for a long time. And honestly, at the time, my turn for taking my first life had been delayed for far too long. I wish every day I could go back and give myself courage to escape earlier."

•••

James and Natalia arrived back in Moscow on the twenty-seventh of December, the happiest they had ever remembered themselves to be. Their mission was a complete success and they never even had to worry.

But now they were back and had to maintain the act that they were completely indifferent of each other. And if James wasn't who he is and if Natalia wasn't well on her way to being at his level, it would be nearly impossible.

But they know they would succeed. They would succeed for each other.

Madame B called Natalia to her office alone and required her to tell the mission from memory, step by step. Natalia obliged, leaving out all the questionable moments with James and how Agent Carter and Mr. Stark seemed to be extremely uneasy around James.

"Good job, Agent Romanova. I will speak to the Soldier later to be fully debriefed on your actions," Madame B informed her before she let her return to the locker room to change into her training uniform and join the girls.

And coming into the training room, she could see that there were only ten girls. And they were lined up in position for two girls to face off. Usually no girl would die—until Madame B arrived. Not yet has Natalia been chosen to fight.

She figured it had something to do with James being the one who chose the two who sparred. At first, he never had a problem with killing someone, but as the months went on, it was almost too obvious that he didn't want to see any be killed. And he certainly didn't want the woman he loved to have to do something like that.

Natalia never had a problem with killing anyone. But she supposed it was the way she was raised—to be a killer. But everyday, James unknowingly showed her another reason why what they did was so vile.

But when she looked up to see who was standing aside to the ring, she did see James—standing behind the villainous Madame B.

"Natalia and Darya," she ordered dryly. Natalia gave James a sad look as she crawled into the ropes and onto the padded floor. He returned it with a look of sympathy and sadness, but followed it by mouthing, "destroy her".

She was both taken back and amused by his response. But nevertheless, it fired her up. She rolled her head around and got loose, hopping on her toes, waiting for Darya to make the first move. It was her weakness.

Darya was a tall girl with short, black hair and plump lips. She got through the program with only her strength. She was not very smart.

And therefore, very stupidly, she ran at her, taking no defensive measures, so Natalia jumped up, wrapping her legs around her and wrenching Darya to the ground, earning some gasps from the 8 girls. She now had her in a headlock and looked to Madame B for the words.

"Do it," she ordered Natalia. And before you could begin counting, Darya was dead and Natalia was on her feet.

She clasped her hands together and looked proudly upon Natalia. They held eye contact as two men entered and removed the body. Madame B seeming like she was trying to break her down. Natalia held her head high and sent her a smirk—which she immediately regretted. sha had spent too much free-lanced time with James.

"Let's do another one, shall we? It won't hurt. The number will be made even," she announced coldly, then looking over snakily at Natalia.

"Dominica and Natalia," she ordered.

And it was at that moment, Natalia realized, she was trying to kill her. Natalia just demonstrated her knowledge and skill level of aerobic fighting... Dominica excelled at just that. She may have even been the best...besides Natalia.

But unlike Dominica, Natalia had mastered all the forms of combat that James knew. Which was probably all of them. But what did either of them know. Aerobic form just worked the best for her because of her small stature.

Dominica and Natalia could now face each other. Dominica was known to be quite smart, but she was not a quick thinker. She had slow reaction time. So for this one, she decided to take the first move. She reached for her head, but Dominica took her arms and begun to fling her over her back, but Dominica didn't realize her dire mistake.

Now a headlock was more manageable that ever. All it took was bait. When she had her in position, she looked to Madame B for a say so. She looked up to see Madame B so mad, she wouldn't be surprised if smoke began to whistle from her ears. But she remained collected.

"Do it."

And it was done.

"Galina and Natalia!" she ordered almost too instantly.

Everyone began to look around, confused and nervous. Was Madame B breaking down? Natalia looked to James who only shrugged and urged her to put Galina out of the race.

Galina was a different person all together. She stood at a monstrous five feet ten, while Natalia was only five four. She was bigger, she was stronger. But still not as good as Natalia was. She was ready.

Galina stood at the opposite corner, her hands twitching in excitement. The Winter Soldier had done a fantastic job training this girl, but had she spent four hours every single night with him in order to improve her combat? Her knowlege? All abilities? Absolutely not!

Galina crouched in an athletic position and slowly began to approach Natalia with full intent to kill. The rest of the girls sat back and watched in fearful awe, watching Natalia. They all knew Natalia had never killed before. She had never been chosen to compete in combat. Yet here she was.

Two of the best girls had both been killed mercilessly by Natalia's hand, and though Madame B did not see it this way, the girls knew there was about to be a third. James stood to the side, hidden ominously in the forlorn shadow of Madame B. He was as cold as stone, and as intimidating as the silent, fearsome wolf. Yet inside, he was amused. He was amused at all the reactions from all the onlookers of his finest work and of Natalia's perfect dispostion. The way she would scare the other girls subconcious submission and frustrate Madame B to the core.

Natalia had proved Madame B wrong time and time again and proved the woman weak and inferior to both her and James. She had killed her favorite contendors in less than two minutes an piece and sent the woman into a frenzy of rage that she hid so well. She had even proved the woman wrong against James. Earlier had had insisted to her that she was the Black Widow. She had slapped him and marked him inferior. Who is laughing now?

But also, something about this made James feel melancholic. He didn't know why, but everyday, something about killing another human seemed more and more wrong to him. He knew he shouldnt feel this way. Even though he had had his doubts in the past, he was here to protect his home of Russia. And sometimes that meant having to take a life. He knew he was the one who signed up to help his country. And at the moment, he was their best soldier and they do heavily relay on him.

But he still couldn't seem to find this way of life to be humane. Then he remembered. It wasn't humane. And neither was he. It was a sacfrice he was willing to make for his country. He needed to be a monster to keep his people safe and his govornment strong.

Natalia didnt have to be a monster, he thought fleetingly to himself.

He shrugged his wild thoughts off and focused back on the fight that was transpiring between his lover and his student. Galina threw a hard puch at Natalia, but the redhead doged it with ease, throwing a bullet-like puch into her abdomen, causing her to stutter in her rebounding move. But Natalia delivered yet another merciless puch to her abdomen, stopping Galina in her tracks.

Natalia had hit he just right. She watched as Galina spat up the fatal blood from the internal wound Natalia had inflicted.

"Fight back Galina Ivanova!" growled Madame B, taking an anxious step further. Natalia watched the following scene unfold before her in horror. Galina sputtered again, falling to her knees, red blood staining the white mat. The blood of the young women Natalia had just killed, staining her hands red down to the bone forever.

And unbelieving of himself that he would speak so impulsively, James called out to Natalia. "Finish her!" he growled.

Madame B the looked to James in absolute surprise and disgust, then turned her attention back to Galina.

"Kill Romanova! Now!"

Natalia stood staring in utter speechlessness as Galina struggled to her feet and gave Natalia a look she would never forget. One that still to this day, haunts her dreams. She knew what she had to do. She didnt want to do it. Not now. But it had to be done.

"Natalia!" James called, looking nervously over to Madame B, who shot his a death glare. Natalia looked to him for quick encouragement. He almost didnt speak, in fear of the woman but then realized she could do nothing to harm him. And Lord, was he wrong. "Finish her, Natalia," her spoke, looking Madame B directly in the eye.

And it was done. Natalia quickley executed the life-ending blow to her competitor and watched as she fell lifelessly to the ground. She didnt know how she felt about. Was it sadness? Fear? Shae had no idea and her face was almost as hard to read as her thoughts.

She was almost too terrified to look Madame B in the face, but she did. A stone cold, look of defiance. She couldnt help it.

Madame B was infuriated. Everyone could see it. Ther room was dead silent. The tension was so thich, it could be cut with a knife. "Everyone continue. Ivan, come over and narrow them down to two," she announced too sweetly. "Romanova. Asset. Come with me."

Natalia shot a look to Yelena who looked genuinly concerned for Natalia. They spoke to each other with their eyes, telling each other goodbye, if it were the last time they would see each other. Natalia know if there was anyone who could hold the title of Black Widow besides herself, it would be Yelena Belova.

Natalia stepped out of the ring and stepped before Madame B knowing that whatever happened in response to these cimmerian circumstances, whe will have died knowing that Madame B was wrong and James was right.

Natalia Alianovna Romanova was the Black Widow.

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