TW: cursing, self-deprecating thoughts, s/lf-h/rm mention, an/r/x/a mention

Quick Recap:
"You know I love you, right, kiddo?"

"Now I do... thanks, Dad..."

💜Chapter 19: Questions-
Anxiety and Morality ask each other questions.

Virgil/Anxiety's POV:

My eyes widened in shock on what I just said. I tilted my head to see Patton's reaction.

Patton was frozen in place, looking as if he was about to cry.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit- I just have to ruin everything, don't I?!

"Ohgod, Ishouldn'thavesaidthat. I'msorry, sosorry-"

Į̶̼̗͍͌̀̈̐̅̌́̀͗͘̕̕̕ͅ ̴̢̫̪̙̥̬̫̈́͐͗̀̾̅̆̐̀̍͛͗͝͠w̸̨̻̜͑̋͆͑̚ḁ̸̂̔̑̿̿́̓̊͘̕͘n̷̡̡͚̗̝͍̝͔͉̰̰̍̒̋͋ť̷̢̛̞̜̤̲̜͕͕̝̲͓̥̜̟̟̎͊͂̍̓͆͆͌̂́́ ̵̛͚̣͕͗̾̇͊̓͒͊̊̂̏͂͘̚̚t̸̛̺̻̃̓͛̊͗̐̔̆̓͠͝͝ỏ̸̘͓̬̺͓̼͙̼̩̯̲͛̈͆͑̉͘ ̵̲̜̗̟̝̪͎͔̘́̑͆̉͛̀̾͜j̷̧̡̘̙̟͍̬̣͓͎͔̀̌̎͐̈͑̚͘ͅu̶̹̜̪͇̪̰͇͈̅̄͛̀̓͜ͅs̴̢̡̧͚̟̮̞͇̥͇̘̪͎͑͑̑̈́͆̍̓́͂̈̈̂͝ͅț̶̡̧̢͕͚̦̣̖̼̦̱̳͖̒̅̿̇̋̌̽͝ͅ ̷̪̺̹͈̤̭̟̣͕͆̾̾̔́̅͒͆̅c̶̹̭̈́́͌̃́͘u̵̡͓̹̖͖̘̩̼͎͎̒́̌͒͝͝r̸̢̢̢̹͙̞̬̮͎͖̻͙̜͈͚̆̍̓l̷̗͍̰͇̂̀̎̾ ̷̬̞̭͉̠̣̬̼͚̫̥̾ư̸̭͕̞͔̯͍̖̟̟͑̆͊̎͑̔̋̂̊̈́p̷̳̱̫͙̘̭̥͕͎͔̣̻̣̑̾̈͂̓͂̈́̅͊̚͘ ̴̣̞͇̏͌͐̿͂̎̋̽̏͠i̸̢̫̼̳̻͓͙͚̮̫̤̒̀͆̂̔̈́̈͂̚̚n̴̢̛͖̳̽͑̄͋̑̃̏̀̋̽̑͝t̵̡̛̤̰͆́̃̿͗̓͛̿̽̚̕̕ō̴̩̥̘̖̈́̈́͌̉̾́̾̂̑̔͒ ̶̪̝͖̝̠̝͙̃̐̂̃͑̂͆͂͌͐a̵͍̦̣̻̻̖̤̣̝̔̏̾̚͜͝ͅ ̷̛̖̞̖̣̈́͛̃́̾̌̐̆̑̃̕͠b̷̪͑̿̅̓̎̂̓́̓͛å̵̢̧̡̛̪͇̰͔̞̯͔͇̠̮̎̈́̾̈͒̓̔̃ļ̶̞͕̲̭̭̗̠̑̾͌͐͌̓̆̑̓̿̑͠͠ļ̶͈̮͓̝͐͜͜ͅ ̷̧̯̣͖̜͂̒̐̄̓̾̋͜͝a̸̢̖͈̯̣̪̰̗̟͓̫̋̾͝n̶̤̬̝͕̼͎̖͍̣̤͈̪̈́̆͗̄͐̈̽̾̈̆̕͠d̶̬̺͉̦̪̪̠̣̭̹͎̋̆̈́̿̾͑̇̋̈́͐̕ ̶̧̟̙̖̫̯͚̺͖̱̖͕͌́͊̃́̽͗̌̔͌̀̄̓d̵̨̧̩̭͉̳̘̙̦̱̝̻͚͇̳͒i̷̢̢̨̱̻̝̰̲͕̞̖̋̃̈͂͐͊̾̉̈̿͠ͅȩ̶̡̲̲͇̫̗̪͔̱͍͋̀̆̑̀̀̊̓̆͊.̵̧͙̬̔̈́͌ͅ.̴̛̰̠̲̗̮͈͔̩̙̭͍̎͒̿̃̽͗̀͘.̴̡͉͖̳͎̰̅̿̓̈́͋

I shut my eyes closed, scared if something was going to hit me. If Pat was going to yell at me.

I was drowning in my thoughts, them overwhelming my mind.

I really shouldn't have done that. It was unexpected. Bad timing. I know Patton always wanted me to call him Dad for some reason but I kind of figured that he didn't mean it. It was a joke. Right? What did I do? I messed everything up. He probably hates me for being annoying. Clingy. Stupid-

I didn't even realize Patton was shouting until I felt some warmth on my shoulder.

"Anxiety! Look at me!" I did. And he seemed... tense? "Are... you okay?" I was confused. I thought he was gonna be mad... He had to be. I'm so-

I turned my head away shamefully.

Patton whispered, quiet so only I could hear him- even though no one else was even in the room- "Come on, it's okay..."

"I'm glad."

I whipped my head up to his eyes, my limbs locked in place. Hands shaking. Why was I so scared? My emotions were all over the place... He pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me. I felt his body heat but... something in my heart was warm. Love?

"I'm glad..."

I broke a few more tears. God, I was crying a lot today.

"Haha... I think that's enough tears for now..." He said awkwardly, letting go of the hug. I just nodded. I took a few sips of water to compose myself. I was pretty dehydrated after being such a wimp crying twice, now three, in one conversation.

The tension was light, but still there. "Hey... Pat?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you want me to call you 'Dad' so much in the first place?" Patton looked over to me, straight (mhm, "straight") eye contact.

"Well... I honestly see you as my son, kiddo. I care about you, you know? You can always talk to me..." I paused for a moment, realizing.

"You are the only person in the who mindscape that knows anything about me... At all."

"I want to help, Anx. I do. Whatever I can do. I'm really, really glad you opened up to me," I gave him a weary smile, and he noticed. "Look, Anxiety. I kinda lied..." Morality hesitated.

"I always noticed you suffering. From what I didn't know. I always denied it, hoping for the best. That you were okay and just wanted space. But it never sat right with me. And now that you've been hurting yourself this whole time, starving yourself... I just... I wish I didn't push it away. I wish I confronted you sooner. Check-in on you. Anything... I'm- I'm sorry..." He choked up on the last few strings of words.

...

H̵̯̳̔́̆̈́̿́͆̒͜ę̵̧̜̣͕̪̥͍̜̻̈́͊͋͊̌͆̽̐̅ͅ ̸̡̡͎̩̠̫͇͕͖̂̔̏͑̀̀͐̇̿̚̕͜͜ͅç̶̧̭̟̲͉͎̪̘̹̟̰̫͙̾̂a̶͚̼͚̟̗̬͔̞̥̟̫̝̞̣̅͗̐̀͝͝ŕ̴̨̛͎͉̫͇̞̓̏̓͌̈̀̾͂̊̾̍͋̚ͅe̶̖̹͉̗̮̞̯͓̫͔͐́̃̈́͝ͅs̸̫̺̱̟̗̤͎̱̫̈́̿̀̋͒̄͛͛̉̉̄̿̏͝ ̸̧̣̔̿̊̕à̶͓̻͖̺̹͎̠͊͑͂̃̓b̸̩͖̞̣͇͖̺̞̥̿́̒͑̈́̃́̌̊̍͂͐͠ỡ̵̢̢̡̛̫̜͍̹͉́́̑͌͐̔̏́̀̚͝͠ų̷̗̬͓̙̺͋͐̄͋̐̓̃̓͝͠ͅt̷̡̧̼͔̠̗̳͚͍͕͇͙̐̾̓͋́͊̂̇̈́̚̚͝͠ ̴͇̟͉̂͒͊̚ḿ̸̨̂́e̷̜̓̔͊̌͐̈̒̍̽̿̍.̴̡͔̻̺͖̼̼͕̃̐̐͌̍̽́͒͑͘̕͝ͅ.̶̢̧̛͓͎̲̦͖̠͔̲̻̤̮̑͋̏̅́̐̏̾̊͋͂͜͝͠ͅ.̶̙̘̙̬̙̝̰̳̣̤̆͂̀̀̔̃̅̃̚͝͝

And this time no other thoughts corrupted my head.

"Patton..." I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around him again. I wasn't used to it but... I craved it. Touch. Love. Affection. From anyone...

The other side was almost frightened by my actions, clearly not used to seeing me like this either.

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded in his chest, him rubbing circles on my back. "Do you really see me as a dad?"

"Of course I do," I could practically feel his happiness. "...Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, anything, kid"

"How do you really feel about me har-" I didn't finish the rest of my sentence, but it was enough for Patton. I gulped.

The dad-like side sighed, "I feel bad. Not helping sooner. Knowing you said nothing for your whole life. You've been through so much. And I just really hope I can help you along your way to recovery," he petted my hair.

I always wanted someone to do that. It was comforting.

"You're so strong..." I felt like I had just got knocked back. What did he just say?

"You're alive after all the horrible things Roman says to you, Logan dismissing you, Thomas keeping you away, me... pushing you away. All of us always blaming you for everything that goes bad. But you're here. Right here. With me. And I know you can get through those scars..."

I laughed. Happy tears threatening me to streaming down my face. I let go of Pat to dry them with my sleeves. "You're so cheesy... but uh... thank you?" It came out more like a question. But I was genuinely thankful. Strong... Anxiety. Me. Virgil. Strong?

"Cheesy? So what am I? Swiss?"

I chucked at his dumb joke.

Patton smiled at me.

Patton/Morality's POV:

I was bonding with Anxiety. He was laughing.

The embodiment of anxiety was laughing with me.

All my doubts about not being a good dad were gone, in the past. I was proud. Of him and myself.

"My turn to ask," I reminded him. "Thoughts about the others?"

"Ah... Roman... He probably hates me. He does hate me. He blames everything on me and I just go with it. I don't want to make him madder at me. He jabs me with teases and I bite back because I'm scared of what he would do if he saw me weak. Logan is disappointed with me with everything I do. I think he thinks I am just there for no reason."

I frowned.

Anxiety shrunk into his jacket, "I mean... I'm kind of used to it..."

"But you shouldn't be-"

"P, just... please drop it... for now. I'm tired of talking about... me," he said, clearly anxious, but polite. I sighed. I just wanted to know more about him. I want to help him. But I knew I shouldn't push anymore.

Besides, I have time to talk more to him later.

I gave him a soft grin. "It's okay," trying to sound reassuring. "Let's go then, I need to do the dishes. I want some company." I glanced at Anxiety, who lifted the corner of his lip. It was infinitesimal but I caught it. I beamed.

My hand reached out to the small figure as I stood up. "Let's go."

💜

A/N: !!PLEASE READ!!

EXTRA LONG CHAPTER BECAUSE I LITERALLY LOVE YOU GUYS

*****I have planned out the rest of the story to have a total of 62 parts (counting the summary, chapter summaries, thank you, and Q&A). So 58 chapters, counting the prologue, (I hate that it's not in 5 or 10's but I really don't care anymore, at least it is still even). Of course, that will take a while though.
So how do you guys feel about that?

**Btw, I changed some minor things in the previous chapters. Nothing to really re-read but it personally makes more sense to me.

ANYGAY- (I use this phrase too much)

HOW THE HELL DID WE GET TO 14K WHEN IT WAS LITERALLY JUST 13K WAIT WHAT-