A/N:
Very important, and long Author's Note/Explanation at the end.

TW: self-deprecating thoughts, s/icid/l thoughts mention

💜Chapter 18: Platonic Love-
Anxiety and Morality go through mutual comfort.

Virgil/Anxiety's POV:

After a few long minutes, Patton had calmed down.

"S-sorry... I just... I shouldn't be crying..."

"Cry all you want, Pat..."

"H-hey... You didn't my last question... about- about your thoughts..."

I breathed deeply, "Pat, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah... I'm fine, this is about you anyway..."

"I know the 'I'm fine' technique, Patton."

"I-," he sat up, nervously looking away from me.

"Am I a good Dad?"

"Wh-"

"I just feel like I can't do anything. Like... Like I'm just useless-"

"You, out of all of us, Patton, is NOT useless."

He looked over in a slight shock.

"You are Thomas' morality! His emotions, his feelings- Patton... You're the dad, as weird as it is to say. You take care of all of you to the best of your abilities. You endure so much for all of us... of course you feel bad. Let in some time for yourself too, Pat."

I heard sniffles from the form in front of me.

God, I felt so bad.

'Is this what Patton always felt?
Why did he hide it?
Was he suffering because of me?'

The last question was something I desperately wanted to be answered.

"You were the first to form out of all of us, you're the oldest. Sure, you're childish- but that's not bad- and you're mature in some aspects too. Pat, don't ever think you, out of all of us, are worthless or useless."

"T-thanks, Anx... but-"

"Yeah?" I lifted my eyebrow.

"Is that how your thoughts work?" he seemed to regain his perk and posture.

I huffed, "What do you mean?"

"Like... how your t-thoughts-"

"Like what they tell me?"

"Yeah, I- I guess... You don't have to-"

"No... it's okay," I reassured him. "I don't know how to describe it well. Self-deprecating thoughts I guess, sometimes worse..."

Patton clearly wanted to say something, opening his mouth yet instantly closing it.

"What is it?"

"Hm?"

"What were you going to say, Pat?"

"Ah, just... do- do you have... depression...?" his question shocked me. Patton mumbled the last word, but I knew what he said. "Sorry, I just... I don't kn-"

"Yeah... I do... I already have anxiety... haha, obviously. I guess I just usually don't think about it like that."

The morality side stayed silent for a few seconds, "So... do... you have suicidal thoughts?" he whispered. Sensitive subject, but he wanted to help. And honestly I wanted it.

P̴͚̬̳̀ͅa̵̛̛͕̣̲̮̭͖͊t̸̗͛͐͗́̀̉̅̏͝t̸̹͊̀̑͘o̵̟͈̭͔̻̬̲̘̮͇͗́́̋̌͆́̀ṅ̸̲̘̬̺͔̪͕̰̃͌͆̏̆̂̀̂̌̓̍̚ ̷̢͉̯͐̉̽͐̇́́̕c̸̲̥̻͕̼͎͓̪͌͐͂̑͂̎͜a̷̮̭͔̗̦͂͜ń̸̜̥͇̺̫͈̦̣̮͈̣̰̯̳̃̿͌̚ͅ ̸̭̇̑̈́̒̈͑́́͛̂̒͆́́h̸̺̣̞̥̠̗̻̬̭̣̼̣͐̊͂̓͑̀͜͠͝e̷̬̘͙͉̥͖͙̫͛̌̄̓͐̐͆͘ļ̸̨̼͎̮̗̗̪̠̤̳͔͙͂p̶̹̃͗̽̇̌ ̶͈̥̘̳̀̓͊͗m̴̥̻̗͓̺̟̠͔̝̲͌̍͛̄͐̅̈́̏͂̕͝͝e̶͇̗̥̠̪̖̟͇̻̓̓̍́̽̅̈͌̄́̇̍͘ͅ

No he can't.

I choked, "Yeah... I- I do..." Patton gave me a side hug, still slightly crying. I felt bad.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "You should get back, I'm wasting your time..."

"Don't say that. I care about you, Anx. I want to know. I want to help,"I froze. I felt tears coming out of my eyes, fierce rubbing my sleeves on my eyes to stop them.

"Hey, hey. There, there," Pat gave me a soft hug, "We can talk about something else. Take a break from talking about this, we can talk about it later. It's okay to cry, Anxiety. Shhh, shhh."

I sobbed in his arms. He really was like a dad. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm such an emotional freak," my words muffled in his shoulder. My eyes blurred from tears. Eyeshadow running down my red cheeks and nose.

"Don't say that! You don't have to be sorry for anything... I'm sorry. For not noticing you suffering for all this time," I just cried even more, he did too.

We sat there for a while, crying together, hugging.

H̴̢̘̰̰̗̥̹͉͉͔̻͕̞̎̀̊͜ȩ̵̨͕̰͇̰͇̭͍͙̈́̾̎̾̕͝ͅ ̸̣̳̯̬͗ͅc̵̡̡͕̹̀̽͛͌͛͋̅̒̆̾͐̓͆̾̕ȁ̷̢̡̦̦͚͎̝̼̫͔̳͔̖͑͌̔̔̆͂̇́͊̉̉̓̈́͜r̸̢̡̨̼̭̜͙̳͕͔̓͋̀̓͆̓͝e̸̛̯̤͔̲̯̰̖̰̬̠̐̌̏̊̀͑͊͑̾͝s̶̛͖͕̞̠̠̲̘͍̀̋̊̃͌,̷͔͎̮̫͙̘̜͙̀̑͆̀͊

You know this won't last. He's faking it. He doesn't care about you. No one does. Romas doesn't. Logan doesn't. Patton and Thomas don't care eithe-

F̶̧̬̪̟͂̐̑͊̈́͋͘ơ̵̡̮͚̽͛̓͂̄̍̓͝r̶̫͈̮͖̥̯̮̗̳͉̥̊͝g̶̰͙̖̖̊̀e̵̡̺̮̭̪̼͔̗̜̪͈̗̹̰͐t̵͙̬͎͓̩͔̥̼̣̳͖̦͔̔̆̃̐̽̈́̀̕ ̸͕̈́̊̀̇̂́y̶̨̨̘͚͍̼͍͕̅͐̈́̄ơ̶̢̡̭͓̖̥̰͉̞͚͔͎͆́̀̈̓̉̈́̓̃̀͝ų̵̙̞͎͚̪̩̬͍̖̮͕͙̩̀̀̈́̀͂̊̈̄̋̀͜

~Timeskip~

Patton spoke, as my throat was dry from crying so much. In front of him too... "You want to just ask each other questions? I can wash the dishes later, I'd rather talk to you."

I nodded, pointing at my throat.

"Water?" I nodded again.

He got up and grabbed the water bottle on my dresser, giving it to me. I clearly didn't drink water too much, my lips chapped and the water with small bubbles in it, the plastic on the inside with condensed water. I only drank a sip, though a worried look on Patton's face made me take a few more.

I smiled at him.

"You know I love you, right, kiddo?"

"Now I do... thanks, Dad..."

💜

A/N:
A little longer one because...

I'M BACK, Y'ALL! I missed you guys, did you miss me? Haha, I'm sorry it's been so long, almost a year. This is my most popular story, now reaching 13K view, which by the way, thank you so much, so I wanted to tell you guys and update you guys here. I've seen your comments wanting me to update, and now that I am back, here it is! I'm sorry for the wait, the delay, whatever.

Because of COVID-19, my school was cancelled. So now I have to do online school, which leaves me more free time. I wanted to be productive, getting back on fandoms, art, games, still doing homework, and of course, writing. I came on here with 1K notifications, which I was afraid to look through, but this is a new journey, so I just overcame my fears are just didn't. I went "straight" to this story and re-read it, replied to your comments.

The main reason, besides school, I have been gone for so long was because I was dealing with a toxic relationship, first love. It made me have a strain on my mental health and motivation for the things I love, Wattpad. It was really, really bad. I relapsed constantly, and attempted multiple times. He didn't care for me. I tried to hard in the relationship, giving him everything I had. But I couldn't. I broke it off in January, and have been trying to heal. It's hard still seeing him at school. His friends all hate me. And he just changed, and for the worst I have to say. He instantly started dating his "best friend" he met in the 1/3 of our relationship, and I could tell he liked him instead of me. He stopped hanging out with me, talking to me. He stopped caring. My friends tried to talk to him too, but he brushed them off, rudely. My friends have been helping me move on, and I have. But it will always still hurt.

I am dating someone new, and it may be fast, but we are taking it slow, as they have just dealt with a pretty bad relationship too. My new partner and I have been friends for even longer than I was in a relationship with the toxic guy (9 months, though 10 months counting before the relationship). We started off in a tough spot, but we are good now, and I really want to make it work with them.

I'm starting to recover on my mental health. But I am back now, and though it will take time to have a schedule (if i can), I miss this. I miss Wattpad, the books/fanfics I read, writing, and all of you. I'm back, better than before, the best I can be right now. I love all of you, and I hope you understand.

There might not be an update so quickly. I still need to learn and adjust now that Wattpad has changed a little and it has been almost a year, so I need to plan and organize all my stories and ideas, plus all the stories I am reading. I am even making a list of all my future fanfics I plan to do, and hopefully I can get that done (there is A LOT). <3