Tobirama:

Seeing Izuna's reaction was heartbreaking.

For two reasons.

One, he was so obviously distressed, screaming from the bottom of his heart.

He shook Emil, screamed his name, planted kisses on his lips over and over, pleading for him to wake up.

His heart was so obviously bleeding, it made my own weep.

Second, jealousy.

I had to grit my teeth when I saw how Izuna obviously loved that man.

I was offended when he kissed his dead lips, but then remembered Izuna now knew who I was, and had no obligations to treat me with any consideration or respect.

It made my heart shatter into a thousand pieces, the black oil that had filled it running down my insides, filling me with a void I could not escape.

Did not deserve to escape.

This is it, I thought.

It's over for me.

For us.

For them.

Izuna:

"No no no no no no no! EMIL!!"

I ran to him.

I sat down and took him into my arms.

I screamed.

I cried.

I asked him, begged him, to stay alive.

"Emil, look at me! LOOK AT ME!"

His eyes were hazed over. He coughed up blood. It trickled down his cheek to my hand that was holding his face, made it sticky.

"Izuna..."

He tried to lift his hand, but it trembled and slumped down. Tears were pouring down my face and blood was pouring out of the wound in Emil's stomach, dying his blue shirt and grey cardigan red.

I tore his shirt open.

"YOUR VEST! EMIL, WHERE IS YOUR BULLETPROOF VEST?!"

His eyes went to my chest for just a fraction of a section, but it was enough for me to understand immediately.

No no no no no no no...

I kissed his lips over and over.

"Emil, you Goddamn fool! Why?" I planted a kiss on his lips. "Why did you do that?!" Another kiss. "WHY?!"

"I love it when you kiss me", he purred weakly.

"Emil!!"

"I don't want to die..." he wheezed. "I want to be in this world with you."

His head slumped back, and the light in his eyes died.

"NO!! Stay!! Stay a while longer, please, Emil, PLEASE!"

I hugged his body close to me, one hand on his wound, desperately trying to stop the bleeding, even though he was already dead. A void opened up underneath me, swallowed me into a black hole where I had lost everything. Everything around me disappeared; the warehouse, the two men, Tobirama, so it was only me and Emil, his dead body close to my alive one. I nuzzled my face to his neck, let his blonde hair, now sticky with the blood he'd coughed up, breathed his sweet scent in, now mixed with the rusty smell of blood.

"Izuna..."

A voice far, far away.

I didn't bother to answer.

I didn't bother to move.

I wasn't a police officer in this moment.

I was just me, and I wanted to be just me.

I heard footsteps approach me.

"Izuna..." A hand on my shoulder.

I jerked, and everything came back to me.

The warehouse.

The two men.

Tobirama...

"Izuna."

I stood up. Emil's body slumped to the floor, into the puddle of blood. I clenched my fists.

"Shoot me too, then", I said between gritted teeth.

"I won't have you shot, Izuna." There was something in Tobirama's eyes. Hurt. Desperation.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN SHOOT HIM YOURSELF! YOU RAT!" Tobirama jerked as if he'd gotten an electric shock. "YOU HAVE YOUR MEN DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK FOR YOU! YOU FUCKING COWARD!!"

Suddenly, I heard the sound of shattering windows. A team of about twenty police came into the warehouse. Everything went so fast then. They tried to chase Tobirama, but he quickly escaped. There were screams and shouts as the two men shot at the police. Tobirama never lifted his gun. I wasn't even sure he carried his anymore.

I saw everything as through a mist, heard everything as though under water. I slumped down onto the floor, slid down in the puddle of Emil's blood. I looked down on his dead face. It was so soft, so... Him.

I shuffled over so I could take him into my lap, and stroke his beautiful, scarred face, let my fingers trace the flakey skin of his scar, the left side of his lips where the flesh was red as a pale rose.

And I started crying.

I hugged his body close to mine and cried and cried and cried, the tumult still breaking out around me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

No...

"Izuna..."

No!

"Izuna, Emil's body is evidence. We need you to let go of it."

The term "it" made me want to vomit.

I clung to him.

Him him him him him.

A pair of a strong arms grabbed me, tried to pull me away.

Another pair theirs to peel my arms off Emil.

"No!!" I shouted.

"Izuna, please!" a female officer wailed, crying as well.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

In the end it took three officers to pull me away from him as I screamed and sputtered incomprehensible nonsense.

"NOOO! EMIL!! EMIL, WAKE UP!! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU!!"

"Izuna, stop it..."

"EMIIIIIL!"

Nothing had ever hurt so much.

I let all of it come out in my sobs and screams.

The pain of losing Emil.

The pain of learning about Tobirama's true identity.

The pain of being me.

Nothing had ever hurt so much.

Emil, come back.

It hurts.

Make it go away.

Please...

Emil, hold me.

Just one last time.