( note: please check out the
author's note on the bottom! )

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍. 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃
Diving In

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER skating career, Minako approached her father for advice. Though Minako rarely felt the need to consult her father about what she should do, it wasn't as though it was completely forbidden. They set the boundaries that he wasn't her coach, but her father. However, Basile throwing his opinion every once in a while wasn't necessarily coaching, just his thoughts. For the most part, he trusted Minako and her coach — sorry, former coach — to make the right decisions when it came to her career. However, things were different now with Minako coach-less, partner-less, and unsure as to what to do. There was no possible way for her to find a partner and create chemistry. Somehow having to be with yet another partner seemed tiring. But, Minako won't lie and deny that Nishinoya's words hadn't gotten to her.

      For a retired athlete, Basile Clavette lives an awfully boring life. And though Minako commends her father for his hard work and talent, she swears that she'll never be like him. Although many would argue that he probably likes his life now, but personally Minako doesn't see the advantages to giving up ice skating to be a house husband. And while Minako can attest that her father makes scrambled eggs better than her mom and he's the only one Yua will now ever allow to put her down for naps, Minako can't help wonder if he ever misses it all. If he burns for it the way she does.

      Minako didn't bring it up until the next day when she was at dinner with Basile. Her mom was still at work looking over the details of her latest case, Kyoga was off on yet another date with Yori, and little Yua was spending the day at their grandfather's house who lives only a few streets away from them. It wasn't rare that Minako got to spend time with her father alone. Minako liked to think of herself as a spoiled princess when under the care of her father, and for good reasons. After all, she's the first daughter and the apple of his eye. But she also knew that Basile was scared out of his wits after finding out about her incident and has been keeping a watchful eye on her because of it. She didn't complain.

      The two decided on having dinner at one of their favorite family restaurants. It was a small little establishment a few streets away from the rink and it was one of the few places their family frequented ever since they were little. Although it's been years since she circled back to the establishment like a regular, she'd like to blame it on the cycle she was falling into. School, volleyball practice, figure skating practice with Basile, eat and then repeat.

      "Papa," Minako began as her father started to eat his omurice. She waited until she heard him hum before she continued, "What do you think of me going solo?"

      Basile paused. He chewed what seemed like forever before he finally replied to her question.

      "Solo as in individual figure skating?" Basile asked, his voice not betraying his thoughts.

      Minako's stomach was in knots as she tried to read the expression on his face. "Yeah," she answered cooly before she averted her gaze to the small side salad she had in front of her. "Who knows how long it'll be until I could find another partner. Plus, I don't know if I wanna deal with all the drama again and — "

      "Is this what you want?" Basile cut her off, his interruption surprising her and forcing her to look up. He looked oddly calm, almost as though her sudden declaration didn't entirely catch him off guard. "Quitting pair skating and going solo, I mean."

      Her cheeks flushed with heat as the fork in her hand nearly slipped out from how clammy her palms grew. But she forced herself to nod and look her father in the eye.

      "I've been considering it," she replied honestly. Minako swallowed the lump in her throat, almost as if the foreign concept was still something she had trouble accepting herself. "I — I don't wanna go through this whole thing again. Being dropped, having everyone know, and thinking that something's wrong with me. I just wanna focus on skating, not the drama."

      Basile put his fork down and placed both arms on the table as he leaned forward. He took notice of how nervous his daughter look and tried his best to put her at ease, but he couldn't push away the questions he had.

      "You know how different it is from pair skating, right?" Basile questioned. Taking in Minako's look of disbelief, he placed his hands up in defense. "I'm just asking, mon minou. It's in a different league than pair skating. The technicalities are different, the requirements are strenuous, and the process is going to take a while since the focuses aren't the same."

      Minako's shoulders fell at his words. "Are you saying that I shouldn't do it?"

      "That's not what I'm saying at all," Basile cleared up, his tone softer than before after Minako's look of defeat. "No matter what you decide in your career I will support you. Always. But I need you to know that it's not going to be like pair skating at all. You'll have to take a lot of steps first before you can even qualify for competitions again."

      "Like pass the tests," Minako muttered under her breath. She dreaded having to take another skating test to qualify, but she knew it was something that had to be done. While passing the senior pair skating test was something she could've done with her eyes closed, doing an individual test was more daunting. For one, all the attention would be on her and the margin of error was smaller.

      "Like pass the tests," Basile confirmed. He cracked a smile at the pout on his daughter's face before he pinched her cheek. "But if this is something you wanna do, I'll support you. I'll look in to see if any rinks nearby usually hold the test. I think Sendai's holding the test next year — "

      "I don't wanna wait another season," Minako interrupted her father. He arched an eyebrow in confusion. She cleared her throat and crumpled her napkin to ease the tension. "I . . . I wanna compete this season if I can."

      "Manon . . ."

      "I know what you're thinking. I know I have a lot to prepare like getting a program and training for new jumps and all that," Minako rambled on, trying to avoid the look in her father's eyes as she focused on her cold dinner. "I get it, I do. But I can do it and you know I can do it too. I didn't just forget everything and I can practice — "

      "I trust you," Basile cut off her nervous rambling as he placed his hand over her own. "I do. And I know you can do it, but at the same time, you haven't skated or trained as hard as you used to in months. On top of that, you're going to school and you're managing the team. I just don't want you to overwork yourself like last time."

      Minako's faced darkened at the vague mention of the incident. Stiffly, she removed her hand from her father's and picked at her salad once again. "It won't happen again," she told him. "I can handle it this time. Last time I just wanted to prove something. But I can skate, Papa. You and I both know I'm damn — "

      " — language."

      " — good," Minako finished. Noticing the apprehensive look on her father's face, she weakly gave him a small smile. "Please. I can do this, I know I can. I just . . . Sitting here and doing nothing about this and feeling sorry for myself . . . I hate it. I just wanna get things done."

      He had every reason to be scared. If Minako was a parent and her child was injured the way she was she would've been terrified as well. But at the same time, Minako trusted herself and her body. Passing the individual senior test wouldn't be easy and Minako would have to be one cocky son of a bitch to think that it'll be an easy journey. But at the same time, she was good at what she does, and even if the life of normalcy that she's been living for the last few months may say otherwise, no one could refute the fact that when she is on the ice magic happens.

      Basile sighed as he brought his hands down his face. He gave her a tired smile before he nudged her foot with his own. "I'm assuming you looked over the requirements this year and what you need in your program."

      "Of course."

      "Well . . . I guess I'm going to need to find you a choreographer for your program." Minako nearly dropped her fork in surprise at her father's words. Noticing the shocked reaction, Basile grinned cheekily at his eldest daughter before he lifted his fork full of omurice like an offering. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do this correctly."

      "So you're okay with this?" Although Minako didn't necessarily need her father's validation, it was still nice to hear his support. "I can compete again?"

      "I can't stop you. And even though I'm worried that you're overdoing it, I have faith in you," Basile finalized after another bite. His words made her heart warm and her cheeks cramp from how much she was smiling. "When you're on the ice everyone can see that you belong there more than anyone else. Who am I to stop you from doing what you love?"

      Minako beamed with pride at his words. "Thank you. I promise that you won't regret this!"

      "Just do it with your heart and that's good enough for me. Don't skate for anyone else but you."

      He wasn't just her father. While Basile was always a father first to her, he was also someone she looked up to when it came to skating. He was her role model, someone she idolized growing up and he was the skater she wanted to be like. The way her father smiled was something she hasn't seen before other than pictures from his wedding day. There were charisma and classiness that oozed from Basile as he glided on the ice with his partner. Every toss, every jump, every element in his programs looked effortless. It was as though he belonged on the ice, the rink was his domain and no one could ever step foot in it. But for Minako, she wanted to simply bask in the same glory as he once did. She wanted to be as untouchable as her father.

      They continued their dinner. Minako ended up sharing her curry with her father as the excitement in her stomach made her appetite go away. She was practically buzzing with potential ideas and songs for her program. It has been so long since she had sat down and properly got to work on her skating. Adrenaline pumped through her body at the mere thought of a new routine to work on and the idea of being busy once again was exciting. Being wanted was something she hadn't felt in a while.

      Basile wasn't oblivious to the way his daughter was practically jumping in her seat.

      He chuckled as he picked at the stray carrots left on her plate. "So, I'm assuming that we'll be booking you a flight back to Lyons?"

      Minako stilled at his words. Her mouth felt dry as she tried to absorb his words even if she heard them clearly. At the sight of her fallen smile, Basile frowned as he slowly chewed on his food. "You are going back to Lyons, right?"

      "I — Not yet," Minako quickly rushed out. Her words made her father's face fall. "I just wanna wait until Kyoga graduates, until the team is finished with the season first."

      "It's almost May, mon minou," Basile reminded her father. His voice was grave and serious, no longer as light as it once was. Minako couldn't blame him. She had just promised him that she wouldn't overwork herself, yet here she was deciding to stay in Japan. "The season starts in July and it's a long run. If we're going to have you compete this season we need you to be able to pass the test and create two programs for you to compete with."

      "I know that, Papa."

      "I don't think you do," Basile insisted. He pushed the dishes away from them so nothing was separating the two. "You're telling me right now that you wanna juggle practice, school, and managing the volleyball team? It's not going to work. Going to school is already going to be challenging, but doing extracurriculars on top of that?"

      "I can make it work," Minako challenged as she bit back her scowl. The last thing she needed to do was give her father an attitude when he had just given her the okay to compete. "I'll just show up for fewer practices for the volleyball team. Daichi-san will understand and they have Kiyoko too. As for school, I can handle it, it's like homeschooling. And I can handle a few extra practices, I've done this before."

      "You're going to overwork yourself."

      "I'll pace myself. I swear," Minako stressed to her father. She took his hands and gave him a pleading smile, "Papa, I swear to you that I'll be extra careful and I won't take any unnecessary risks. But you and I both know that this is something I can do if you give me a chance."

      "What are your plans then?" Basile asked, almost as if he wanted her to verbalize her thought process so she could hear how stupid she sounded. "You haven't done a season in Japan in years. You're supposed to represent France."

      Minako bit down on the inside of her cheek. He wasn't entirely wrong. Although it wasn't until her partnership with Mathis that she started competing in bigger competitions and representing France, Minako hadn't ever really competed for Japan. All the competitions she did before were smaller and national. But with Mathis, she had a chance to make it internationally.

      "Technically I have double citizenship," Minako argued feebly. Even she knew it wasn't a valid argument, but she wasn't sure how else to make the situation better. "I'm not competing for Japan, I'm just getting a feel on what it's like to be an individual skater on the senior level. And after Kyoga graduates, I'll just move back to Lyons and start from there."

      "You wanna just do smaller competitions only?"

      "National ones," Minako emphasized. She scoffed as she leaned back, "C'mon Papa, give me some credit. I'm not gonna do any small city ones. Even if I am a newbie senior skater we all know that I'd smoke them all out."

      Basile smiled. His shoulders relaxed and the tightness in his chest washed away. Who was he to project his fears onto his daughter who clearly was ready for the challenge? No matter how scared or nervous Minako maybe, he knew that she was mentally prepared to take on the hurdle presented in front of her. His daughter wasn't a quitter nor was she someone who would run away at the first sight of a challenge. No. Minako was prepared in more ways than one. And even if it meant covering her head while running forward to break through the hard barrier, she'll do it without any hesitation. She was raised on the backbone of risks and make-believe chances.

      "Okay, I'll trust you," Basile finalized with a sigh. He gave her a tired smile before he patted the back of her hand. "Whatever you decide I'll support you. Just try not to give me some gray hairs along the way, will you?"

      "I promise. This'll all be worth it."

ONCE YOU GET YOUR FIRST taste of winning, you're easily addicted. The adrenaline that courses through your veins, the fast beating of your heart, and the rush that makes your entire body feel numb and light, it was all something that Minako had gotten used to. While many would say that winning isn't everything, Minako would gladly throw it back in their face that the only reason why they're saying that is because they haven't won as much as she has. Although such a comment would earn a lot of backlash and criticism from others, she wasn't going to back down. Because no winner would ever complain about winning, they'll shut up and chase this high that only seems endless and plentiful. But sooner or later their desire will grow and their starving stomachs will demand only the best. After all, nothing can satiate a neverending hunger that is winning like pure success.

      For Minako, there isn't a goal yet. Passing the senior test would be considered the first, and maybe it's her terrible confidence but she's not too afraid of handling it. Though she's only considered a junior pair skater who was supposed to take her senior pair test, taking the individual senior test only seemed like a notch up from her original plan. As for the programs, skating is like an art she seemed to have mastered since she was a child. It was only a matter of making each movement precise and as natural as walking.

      But all she wants is a chance to prove that she still got it. To show everyone that while they were out there feeling sorry for her losing what they think is her everything, she's been working to pull the rug under their feet.

      Telling Daichi that she wasn't going to show up to as many practices wasn't necessarily too difficult. She simply told him that she had other matters to take care of and thankfully her friend didn't press on the matter too much. 

      And though she managed to skip out on this morning's practice, it wasn't like she slept in or wasted her time. She was awake long before her brother even was, got ready, and took the bus to the rink around five in the morning. She only had about two and a half hours' worth of practice. The first hour solely focused on Seina and helping the first-year with her program for her junior test. After giving some pointers and tricks for Seina to practice and film, the last hour and a half was set for herself by practicing some of the requirements for her own program such as jumps, combinations, spins, and other connecting moves. While she popped around 30% of her attempted jumps it was far better than before.

      What made morning practice much better was the fact that neither Akina nor Shiori was there today.

      "So you're going to take the test?" Seina asked excitedly as the two began to get dressed in their school uniforms in the girls' locker room. After revealing to the younger girl that she was considering a career in individual skating, Seina was ecstatic and practically bouncing off the walls. "Like the one next month?"

      Minako shook her head at her rambling, but couldn't help but smile. "It's just a test, Seina," Minako told her new friend. She slipped on her sweater vest and tossed her hair back as she reached for her blazer. "Besides, you should be more worried about your test than focusing on me."

      "I can't help it! You're like a skating legend!" Seina blurted out as she threw her hands in the air. "You don't get it, you're a national pair skater and the fact that you're kind of making your individual debut in Japan is huge! Oh my God, I can't wait to see your Serpentine sequence in person."

      "I'll be sure to consider including it for my program," Minako teased as the girls began to walk out of the locker room. "Let's just hope that I'm as good of a coach as I am a skater. You're starting to get better at the double axel. Still under rotation, but you're getting the hang of it."

      Seina puffed out her chest proudly once they exited the rink. "I think I got this test in the bag," Seina commented cheekily, but even the slightest brag brought a blush to her pale cheeks. "Thank you again for creating a program for me. I know it couldn't have been easy since you're so busy all the time. I swear I'll try to figure out how to pay you back."

      Minako waved off her comment. "It's no biggie. I don't know much about individual skating, but just to be safe I'll perform your program tomorrow practice and then send it to my dad to see if he could fix it or something."

      She swore she almost saw Seina's eyes bulge at the mention of her father.

      "You'd do that for me?" Seina squeaked in surprise. But who could blame her? Basile had a successful individual skating career before he became notorious as a pair skater. Undoubtedly, having a former Olympian help you with a program was huge for a small skater such as Seina.

      "Yeah," Minako shrugged off as she led them to the bus stop. Seina who was having difficulty catching up due to the shock staggered behind the older girl. "It's gonna look bad on me if I give you a shitty routine and you don't pass so I'm doing this for both of us. Plus, I didn't really take the junior test and since I passed the junior pair test it's not really required of me."

      "I'll do my best to make sure I pass for you," Seina promised gravely as they waited for the bus. Her face dropped the serious look as realization quickly washed over her. "That means we're going to be competing in the same competitions too!"

      "We need to pass our tests first, remember?"

      "Okay, but I mean after!"

       "Again, assuming that we pass," Minako insisted as their bus rounded the corner. She wasn't usually pessimistic and when it came to skating, no one had better confidence about their skills than Saito Minako. But this was different. It was a new world, a new path for her, and she'd be stupid to not tread lightly and to assume that things will be the same once she goes solo. "Plus, you're still fresh meat, newbie. You'll be too busy fighting off the other junior skaters this season."

      "Hmm, does that mean you'll be facing off the others?" Seina questioned as she followed Minako onto the bus.

      Minako scoffed as they found their seats. "Okay, I don't fight every skater. What happened with Akina and her friends is purely on the fact that they pissed me off. Also, rule number one, don't let the other girls walk over you, alright?"

      "I don't know if you know this, but I practically smell like fear."

      "No, I know, but you need to fix that," Minako insisted. Her lips pulled into a frown at the thought of skaters walking over Seina. It's more than likely that some skaters will throw off some taunts or chirp at her to get her off the game. And if by some miracle Seina manages to shake that off, it won't be long until they do more than just mind games such as psyching them out during warmups. "As much as I wanna shut them up for you, you're gonna need to toughen up. Especially since you're going coachless."

      Seina looked shaken up after Minako mentioned that. Still, she tried to smile it off, but even then she had to lower her head. "Yeah, well hopefully it'll all work out," Seina hesitated. "Speaking of coaches, is your dad going to coach you this season?"

      "Nah," Minako answered easily. She leaned her head against the window as she closed her eyes. "We're just gonna stick with the whole dad-daughter routine."

      "Oh. So you're going coachless too?"

      "Only this season. After that, I'll be heading back to France and start things up again."

      She wasn't sure what the look on Seina's face was. Disappointment? Sadness? She couldn't tell. Minako could only assume that it was the latter because of Seina's lack of a coach. And as much as Minako wants to help Seina in her career, there was only so much that she could do as a skater herself. If Seina wanted to make it in the skating world, she needed a coach. A real one.

      "Why not just stay here and compete in the competitions here?" Seina suggested. Her proposal made Minako laugh and open her eyes as she sat back up. "I'm serious, if you're gonna start new, why not start in Japan? You're a double citizen so you should be able to compete here, right?"

      "I mean, I guess, but the skating federation here is different," Minako pointed out bluntly. "It's a lot of regulations and requirements than what I'm used to. I don't have any connections in Japan. All the best coaches that I know, the rink that I train at, and everything else are in France. I don't have my old coach anymore, but she can hook me up with someone else."

      Seina's shoulders sag at her explanation and even went as far as to pout. "It would've been nice to compete with you," Seina whispered as she slouched into her seat. "You would've made competitions fun. Plus it would've been cool to see you go against Ueno Airi from Tokyo."

      "Ueno Airi?"

      "Oh yeah, she's like one of Japan's hottest senior skaters right now," Seina explained casually. She pulled out her phone and searched up the skater's name. Immediately several images of a pretty girl with a baby and an innocent-looking face popped up. Airi was dressed in the prettiest skating dresses and most of the pictures were either of her mid-performance or on a podium on either the number one or number two spot. But never third.

      "Is that Shiori?" Minako asked as she stopped Seina's scrolling to pause on a specific picture. Airi stood on the second place podium with a silver medal in one hand and a bouquet in the other. But standing on the number one spot with a gold medal and a bouquet almost too large for her to carry was none other than Kihara Shiori. 

      Seina nodded. "Yeah, this was last season before she got injured. She and Ueno were considered top picks for the season and even the national team. Last I heard, Ueno is still in Tokyo training."

      Minako took Seina's phone and studied more images of Ueno Airi. Although Shiori was out of the picture, it seemed as though Airi was still very much involved in the skating world. Suddenly it hit her. The skating world was much bigger than Mathis and Lisette and they weren't the only ones she had to look out for. Because now, her competition is girls like Ueno Airi who seem to love the glory and the spotlight as much as she does.

      For the rest of their bus ride to the school, Minako tried to get her mind off of her new program, coaching Seina, and Ueno Airi as much as she can. But the wanton desire to compete with something worth losing was something she missed more than anything else. As much as she wanted to prove something to Mathis and everyone else, she wanted nothing more than the glory of winning. Because if she wins it guarantees that pair skating isn't the only thing she's good at, but skating as a whole.

      There was a new goal she had to create for herself. One that separated her previous wishes of winning with Mathis was rooted in the idea that she would be an amazing pair skater. But her days as a pair skater were now over and all she can do now is bask in the jitters of starting from the top. Still, Minako wished that she was able to take in her last competition a bit more if she knew it was gonna be her last. She wished that she was able to remember the feeling of being thrown in the air and being lifted for everyone to see.

      A new rhythm was now thrown into the mix and it was time for her to learn it.

      Minako's good mood was picked up by many around her. For the second-years, they took in her happy nature and tried their best not to impose it. Nishinoya joined them for lunch once more and it was as if the close-knit group of second-years was never separated in the first place. They all shared lunches, chattered about the latest anime, and caught one another on their personal lives. Lunch became routine and classes went without a hitch.

      Part of her wants to feel guilty for taking it easy. If she was in France when she decided to go solo, she would've worked her ass off. Training and conditioning would be tougher, diets would be implemented, and schedules would be rearranged so ice time was as frequent as possible. But at the same time, all of that was gonna be there for the rest of her life. Intense training regiments and neverending skate time were going to be her future. This, being at school and having lunch with friends, was temporary.

      Perhaps it was wrong for her to feel this selfish. All good athletes had to sacrifice something to make it to the topic. She sacrificed her years with her family for a life in another country and she was able to reach national titles. American Olympian Kristi Yamaguchi did the same and trained in another country and she was able to win the Olympics in 1992. All athletes needed to trade something to become the best.

      Maybe she has gone soft, but it was that intense mentality that left her injured and out of commission for as long as she has.

      The thought of attending volleyball practice made her stomach churn. While she'd never admitted it to their faces, Minako enjoyed being one of the club's managers. Although she still hasn't gotten used to all the rules and lingo that comes with volleyball, seeing the team play and grow was rewarding. But the thought of missing out on rink time was killing her and while she wouldn't have thought too much of it a week ago, it was different now that she's made up her mind.

      Tomorrow I can miss the morning and after-school practice, she told herself as she began to zip up her jacket. Kiyoko was heading to practice a bit later, leaving Minako alone for the first half-hour, but she had already gotten the hang of what was expected.

      Her cluttered thoughts left her rattled and just as she made her way towards the gym, she walked right into someone walking the other way. She snapped her head up, ready to apologize, but stopped. Eyes softened, lips parted as her apology fell short. Minako felt his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from stumbling over.

      "Hirano-senpai," Minako breathed out as the older boy released her shoulders. She quickly bowed her head in apology as she took a step back. "Sorry, I . . ."

      "Long day?" Ryuta offered as he gave her a small smile. Minako couldn't help but smile in return as she nodded in reply. "It's alright, we're both still standing so that's good."

      Minako glanced at his lack of school uniform. Instead, Ryuta wore his gym clothes and had sandals on rather than sneakers. Hung around his neck were swimming goggles that were the same shade as his hair. The one thing that remained the same was the smile he gave her.

      "Swimming practice?" Minako asked as she referred to the goggles.

      He glanced down and gave her a sheepish smile as he scratched the nape of his neck. "The weather's getting warmer so we're trying to start practicing in the school pool. Took us a while to clean it out though."

      Minako furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched her nose. "Sounds like a pain."

      Ryuta shrugged his shoulders. "We get used to. Have you ever been to the school pool before?"

      "Can't say that I have," Minako shook her head. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she lowered her head sheepishly, "I don't know how to swim so I haven't really had a reason to go to the school pool. But I heard it's big."

      Minako looked up once she felt his hand curl around her wrist. His grip was gentle, but enough for her to focus her attention back on the older boy. With a tsk and a teasing frown he spun her around and began leading her in the direction he was heading towards.

      "We can't have that now can we?" Ryuta joked as the school pool fell in their line of vision. "I don't think I'm a great teacher to help you, but I can at least show you the infamous school pool that's training the prefecture's too-be greatest swim team!"

      The school pool was gated off and it was probably because the baseball field wasn't too far from it. But the old, orange beach chairs decked around reminded her of the community pool their family used to go to. It was well kept and a tiny shed was in the far left corner where all the equipment was. And while it was nothing spectacular — one of the downsides of attending a small school — it was clear that it meant a lot to Ryuta. The bright and proud smile on his face told her how much he loved it here, this was his rink, this is where he stands out.

      "I hope you know that if you even think about pushing me in or try to drown me I will somehow resurrect myself and haunt you," Minako warned as she hesitantly followed him closer. She shuffled her feet as she tried to get used to the feeling of pavement under her feet rather than the smooth flooring she was used to.

      Ryuta laughed at her weak threat. "Like I said, I'm just here to show you the pool. Our practice isn't going to start for a while so you wanna dip your feet for a bit?"

      Minako hesitated. She hated going to the beach and she equally hated going to the pool. The smell of saltwater and chlorine was a pain to wash out of her hair and the sticky, dry feeling left on her skin was something that made her itch. But the look on Ryuta's face was hard to turn down and the small smile made her heart race.

      Placing her gym shoes on top of one of the chairs, she slipped out of her sneakers and socks and took a seat next to Ryuta who did the same. She rolled her pants to her knees and dipped her feet. The cold water made her jump, but it wasn't long until her skin adapted to the cold temperature.

      "It's not too bad, right?" Ryuta asked gently as he nudged her shoulder.

      "Only because the chances of me drowning on the short end of the pool is very unlikely," Minako said in a teasing tone as she nudged Ryuta back. The swimmer held his shoulder and feigned pain. "But it's not bad. I just don't think I'm used to going to pools or beaches."

      Curiosity bloomed on Ryuta's face as he leaned back. He couldn't imagine the big bad and tough Minako being scared of water, after all, it didn't fit her character. But somehow she managed to seem so small and meek in front of him. In some ways, she was nothing and yet everything he expected. 

      It was confusing. She is confusing. But all he wanted was to know more.

      "You're not a fan?"

      "Swimming isn't my sport. I like ice skating," Minako revealed quietly. She quickly averted her gaze to the waters to avoid looking at his reaction. "I grew up at the ice rink. I didn't really spend my time at the beach or the pool and when we did go I used to hate it so much because all I wanted to do was go back to the rink."

      "I can see you as a figure skater," Ryuta hummed. She looked to see the same genuine smile on his face. Almost as if he could sense her hesitance, he shrugged, "It makes sense. Explains how you're always so elegant and able to step up in the heat of the moment."

      "I don't get it."

      Ryuta kicked lightly at the waters, watching as it rippled from his movements only to still after a few seconds. Minako could see their reflection on the surface and how picturesque the scene looked. 

      "I think you're classy," he answered slowly, almost as if he's trying to find the right words to explain his thoughts. "A lot of the things you do seem elegant and almost performative. Whenever these other guys try to confess to you, you always give them the same answer. You don't let what they say get to you and if they do, you don't show it. You know what you want it and you never lie about what it is that you're looking for. You're always quick to fix things somehow. I guess that's where I'm coming from at least."

      She took his words and tried to wrap her head around them. While part of her was flattered by this image he has of her, she couldn't help but wonder if his words were just lies. Because in her own mind, Minako was far from classy. She was crude, overly blunt, and unforgiving. There was this iron casing around her heart that never seemed to ease up. Minako would do anything to reach her dreams, even if it meant letting go of those close to her. Hearing Ryuta's perception of her felt wrong, almost as if she was about to ruin his idea of her. But somehow, she doesn't want to continue to feed this false narrative of his.

      It didn't take him long to notice the silence and the look on her face. Panic quickly took over as he got to his feet and placed his hands out in front of him. "Sorry! Did I say something wrong?"

      Her eyes widened as she took in his panic state. Minako couldn't help but feel touched at the fact that he was so worried about wronging her. Everyone else didn't seem to care too much if they offended her because to them she'll just bounce back up. She was tired of others assuming that she can handle everything thrown at her. But the reality of it all is that she can't. She wants to be vulnerable and small and to have someone to lean on.

      "No, no it's fine," she rushed out once she realized she hadn't responded yet. Minako quickly got up on her feet so he no longer towered over her and the gap between them wasn't as far. "I'm just surprised, that's all."

      Ryuta relaxed after her words, but confusion quickly took over his face. He lowered his hands and tilted his head to the side. "Surprised?"

      Minako looked down as she played with her fingers, trying to ignore how heavy his gaze was. "Most people just say that I'm mean and that's it. But the way you say it almost justifies everything I've done."

      "At the end of the day, you don't owe anyone anything." She looked up to meet his eyes and tried to find a hint of deception in them. She wanted to believe that this was a lie and that he wasn't actually saying everything she wanted to hear.

      "You don't owe anyone an explanation if you yourself know why you're doing what you're doing," Ryuta continued warmly. He spoke to her in such a gentle tone as if speaking in a decibel higher would shatter her. "Besides, from where I'm standing you're one of the coolest girls at this school."

      "Thank you," was all Minako could say. And she meant it. There were no words to describe how she felt, nor were there any words she could say in response to what Ryuta had just said. But somehow having someone validate her actions made her feel better.

      Ryuta shook his head as he slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants. "No need to thank me, it's the truth. And I meant it when I said — "

      "Hira, we're starting practice soon," a voice cut through. 

      Minako turned to the front of the gate where three other boys entered with a rather small first-year girl following behind. The one who spoke, who looked too tired to want to join the practice, didn't hesitate to strip himself of his jacket and show his bare chest. It wasn't long until his pants were gone as well leaving nothing but his swimming trunks behind. Minako was quick to look away, but it wasn't long until Ryuta's teammate dived in. If it weren't for Ryuta who moved her aside she would've been soaked.

      It wasn't long until the rest of Ryuta's team did the same and followed in suit. As their heads popped up, Ryuta scolded them before he handed Minako a towel. The first-year girl, presumably a friend or a manager, took a seat on one of the beach chairs on the other side of where Minako and Ryuta were. With a book in hand, she simply read as the boys began their practice session.

      Everything was different from what she was used to. The team was smaller — but perhaps not everyone has shown up yet — and it wasn't as stuffy as the gym. With the open space, it felt easier to breathe and it wasn't as constricted. In some ways, it reminded her of being back on the rink where the air was cold and crisp. The environment wasn't as cutthroat as it is on the ice. But the similarities of comfort were the same when comparing the swim team and the volleyball club.

      "Sorry," Ryuta apologized as he glanced at his friends before he focused his attention back on Minako who seemed to be taking in the atmosphere. "They're just always excited to start practice. It's been a while since we got to use the school pool for training."

      "No, don't worry, it's fine," Minako assured him. She smiled at the sight of Ryuta's friends splashing one another in the pool and trying to dunk one another's heads. It reminded her of Tanaka and Nishinoya. "I should probably let you go practice, shouldn't I?"

      "Think of this more as my chance to show off my swimming skills," Ryuta suggested teasingly as he began to unzip his jacket. "I mean, I did ask you to consider being our club's manager, so you might as well look at what you're going to be dealing with."

      Before Minako could protest, all words fell at the sight of Ryuta shirtless and in his swimming trunks. And right as she was about to embarrass herself, Ryuta ran towards the pool's deep end and dove in without any hesitation. When Ryuta resurfaced he gave her a dopey grin before he swam towards the edge of the pool.

      "I thought pools don't allow running?" Minako joked as she sat on the chair right in front of Ryuta. "Or do you just like breaking the rules?"

      Ryuta chuckled before he moved his hair away from his face. "I don't usually break the rules. Maybe it's your influence that's wearing off," he suggested earning an eye roll from the second-year. "But I appreciate your concern."

      "Of course. I don't wanna be the reason why Karasuno's swim team does poorly."

      "Just for you, I'll make sure we win this season." 

      It wasn't long until the rest of the swim team entered the pool and their practice actually began. All the boys who went into the pool were quickly out and got ready to stretch alongside the rest of their teammates. From dryland stretches and warmups to actually getting into the water, Minako found herself strangely occupied. Though she'd like to blame it on Ryuta who caught her attention every other minute to make sure she wasn't bored, the way the swim team practiced was different than what she was used to as an athlete.

      The other girl, Minako quickly learned, is the only manager of the team. Though it wasn't official since she was technically committed to another school club, all the boys seemed to take her advice seriously. From what Ryuta briefly mentioned, she was once a competitive swimmer who quit last year. She was nice and kept Minako company when the drills grew more intensive and Ryuta couldn't give her as much attention. But she didn't mind.

      Before she knew it their practice was coming to an end and the other boys had begun to file out for the locker room to shower off. But the remaining few were Ryuta and the three boys who came first. Minako walked over to where Ryuta waded in the deep end with his arms resting on the top. She squatted as she handed him a water bottle and a small towel.

      "So, any consideration on learning how to swim?" Ryuta questioned as he placed the towel on the floor. His cheeks flushed red from the strenuous swimming and beads of water clinging to his pale skin made him resemble a child. But there was no denying that he's handsome. "I'd like to think I'm a pretty good teacher."

      Minako giggled as pushed aside the hair that fanned in front of her face. "I think I'll stick with the rink," she answered smoothly. "But, if you consider letting me teach you how to skate then maybe I'll consider those swimming lessons."

      "Unfortunately for you Saito-san, I'd actually like to go ice skating." His playful remark made her want to hide from his gaze, but being around Ryuta was easy in a way that she never expected. It didn't hurt that he's also very handsome. "As long as you promise not to laugh when I fall."

      "I can make no promises," Minako shot back playfully. Ryuta sighed dramatically before falling back into the water only to resurface when Minako laughed and insisted that she wouldn't laugh. Once he resurfaced he flashed her another smile and it was then that Minajo noticed that he has dimples. "I didn't think you were one for dramatics, Hirano-senpai."

      "There's a lot we both don't know."

      She wasn't sure how long she was there. It seemed like only a few minutes, but she was quickly proven wrong when she heard her name. 

      "Minako-chan?" Suga. 

      Minako's head snapped to the pool's gate and standing behind it was none other than Suga and Daichi. The two third-years were dressed in their gym clothes and had their bags on their shoulders. She took note of how the skies were now darker and the sun was starting to set. The confused look on their faces was enough to confirm that she missed the entirety of the volleyball club's practice.

      She stood up and brushed off her pants as she made eye contact with her brother's friends. Suga looked surprised to see her with someone not from the team whereas Daichi looked conflicted. A flash of recognition appeared on Suga's face as he realized who Minako was with.

      "I — I'm so sorry! It slipped my mind!" Minako apologized to the two as she bowed her head down. She looked up, praying that neither was too mad, but then again it was Suga and Daichi. "I lost track of time and — "

      "Ryuta?" Suga cut off as he peered over Minako's shoulder. Ryuta, who was out of the pool, quickly bowed his head apologetically as he walked over towards them. Minako turned away to avoid being caught staring for too long. "Oh! I forgot you're on the swim team!"

      "It's my fault that Saito-san missed your practice today. I'm sorry," Ryuta apologized. He shuffled his feet as the weight of Suga and Daichi's stare grew heavier. "I dragged her away because I wanted to show her the school pool and the team. Please don't be too mad at her."

      "It's fine." To their surprise, it was Daichi who spoke up. 

      The captain of the volleyball club didn't look angry and if he was feigning it, Minako wasn't sure. But she saw that look on his face before. It was the same look of politeness that he often feigned around the school staff. What irked Minako was how insincere he looked because it was the same look he gave her when they first met. Nothing about this smile was similar to the one he gave her before.

      Distrust? Hurt? She couldn't decipher the emotion on his face nor did she want to. Minako could only pray that he wasn't too bothered by her missing practice.

      "Maybe I can help clean up or something?" Minako offered. Her stomach fell at the thought of being ignored or pushed aside because she fucked up. "Hinata and Kageyama are probably still practicing, right? I can go and help clean up after them!"

      Suga laughed as he waved off her panicked state. "I think they're all good, but you can see if Shimizu still needs something. She's over by the locker rooms with some of the others."

      Minako nodded as she began to slip back on her shoes. She quickly waved goodbye to Ryuta who returned the sentiment as well as his other swimmer-friends. "Bye! It was nice meeting you all! Thanks for letting me join!"

      The other swimmers waved goodbye to her, but Ryuta was the only one who responded. "Hopefully you can come again if you have the time of course," he added quickly. Minako blushed at his invitation, but she doesn't decline it.

      "I'll see you around, Hirano-senpai," Minako promised as she awkwardly bowed her head. 

      She headed towards the gate where Daichi and Suga stood with her gym shoes in one hand. The latter opened the gate for her and gave her a teasing smile like an older brother would give to a younger sister. Daichi, on the other hand, only gave her a curt smile. He barely lasted two seconds looking at her before his gaze dropped to somewhere else, his shoes or the pool, anywhere but Minako.

      There was a distance between them. Perhaps but physically, but a distance nonetheless.

      "I'm sorry." She wasn't sure why she was apologizing again or why she was only apologizing to Daichi, but she felt the need to say it as if saying it would fix this instantly.

      But it didn't.

      "It's okay." No, it wasn't.

A/N;

AHHH ANOTHER UPDATE? YES! So this is completely unedited but I really don't care lmao so if you see spelling or grammar errors just ignore it, please. I'm currently on Spring Break which explains why I was able to get an update out so quickly so I hope you guys like it!

Not going to lie, I completely forgot about Ryuta and so when I was struggling with ideas for this chapter I was like wait, hold on I have another man on the lineup I can use!

So Ueno Airi may be a name you guys don't recognize but she's another character in my Haikyuu series! I'm not gonna say who, but keep an eye out for her!!

Thank you all so so much for the support I've been receiving, especially the last chapter! I'm so thankful and glad to have such understanding readers and I thank you for everything you've guys done! Lately, I've been kinda hitting a slump and I don't know if you guys noticed? My paragraphs used to be bigger and longer, but I feel like now they're less intense and just lacking? Again, self-loathing habit here, and I'm sorry about that! I think part of me is trying to get back into the groove of writing again so please forgive me! I'll try to edit the last few chapters and make it better for you all!

Next announcement! So I've been talking with Rika about this when I first created Black Swan which is my baby! I decided that when this book is finished I'm gonna try to self-publish physical versions of Black Swan? Again I'm not gonna sell them, I'm just gonna print maybe a few copies for me to keep (one for Rika of course) and I was wondering if any of you guys would be interested in it? My goal is to make it a kind of giveaway and just try to ship it out! I don't know if I can ship it internationally because of shipping fees, but I'll look into it! So let me know!

And last announcement! So if you guys don't know I am Chinese American. I am Chinese but I was born in America. If you don't know lately the AAPI community (Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders) community has been facing a lot of racism and hate crimes. It's really disheartening to hear and as an Asian creator, it's just a difficult pill to swallow. As usual, I'm going to be leaving a comment on different carrd links for you all to check out. I'm not asking that you donate, but if you can that would be amazing! I do ask that if you have the time please watch Try Guy's new documentary on Anti-Asian hate crimes and how they stemmed in America and some of the issues with how this is being treated as well as ways we can further progress. It would mean a lot to me if you guys checked it out!

Much Love Guys.

( written: march 25, 2021 )
( published: march 25, 2021 )