" We cannot change anything unless we accept it... "

Chun-Hei 's P.O.V
 
    " I wanted to study in KNUA, it's my dream mummy.... "

    I can't think anything in this moment. He applied for KNUA... Without telling me??.. He wants to go to Seoul???.... Why the hell he wants that???

" Dream?? Jimin are you serious??, you wanna go to Seoul? Huhhhhh!! ",,I asked getting more angry than before. How can he just do things without asking me?... And out of all places he wants to go to Seoul????

"mummy please "

" what please Jimin? You are not going anywhere and that's final!! "

" m-mummy ple---"

"NO MORE PLEASE JIMIN. YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND STOP CRYING THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!!!!!!! "

I screamed at him again without thinking anything. I am just furious right now. All the memories fears are coming back. I didn't even noticed how my Jimin was crying silenty and looking down at his feet like he did something really wrong.
He nodded and ran to his room crying. I am standing in the same place. He locked his room and I can hear his loud sobs from here.

My Jimin is crying because of me? I really shouted at him? I hurt him? I said all those harsh things without even thinking twice????..... What happened to me???..... My head is hurting again. I'm getting nauseous.
I wanted to knock on his door and apologise to him but I can't stand in front of him right now..

He was just following his dream but if going to Seoul includes his dream then I will be a barrier in front of it. I don't have anyone excerpt him and I can't lose him too. He's my everything if anything happens to him......... No no no I'll never..... I'll save him from this cruel world till my last breath. I can't let him go back to that hell. NEVER EVER...

I walked towards his room but didn't knocked nor called him. I can still hear he's crying. But I can't do anything, I can't just tell him everything and I'll never let him go....

"I'm sorry Jiminie... "

I said and walked towards my room. Tears are still running down my face. My head is throbbing badly right now. I'm getting dizzy. I laid down on my bed. Memories are flooding back to my mind and they are rolling down as tears from my eyes.

I woke up as sunlight spread across my face. I didn't even know when I fell asleep last night. My head is still hurting slightly. I checked the time on my bedside table clock. It is 5:45 am. My mind ran back to yesterday night memories.

    I have to apologise to my baby. He do not deserve this type of treatment from me and from anyone. He's so precious but again....... I can't tell him everything.

I got off from bed and walked to kitchen. I decided to make coffee for us. As I entered the kitchen I heard his bedroom door opening. He exited his room.
Ohhh my god..... His face.. His eyes... He cried this much??.. His eyes are puffy and red... His always glowing face is looking too much pale. And his delightful aura is no longer there.

He didn't see me in the kitchen. He sat down on the sofa .

"Jimin? "

" Mummy ???"
He responded looking at my direction. I can't meet his eyes. He's looking like a sad doll. My jimin......

" You are already up? It's still early. ",,I said.

" Just woke up, nothing much.. Why are you up this early mummy? Your health is still not good.. And did you take your medicine last night?? Sorry I forgot to give it... ",,,he said looking at me with a worried face.

After everything I said to him he's still worried about my health. He's looking straight at my eyes and right now his beautiful eyes filled with sadness. I am feeling very much guilty but I can't do anything..

" Y-Yes I took my medicine Jiminie.. And about last ni---"

" No mummy, don't ever talk about that,, leave it. I don't wanna do anything you don't want.. I'm sorry.. ",,he said looking down..

"Jimi--"

"Mummy can I go for a walk please? I'll be back in 2 hours, please?? ",,he asked cutting me off again.

I can see his eyes are glistening with tears. They threatened to fall in any second. So he's not going to say anything over me??... He's sacrificing his dreams for me this easily??... I even didn't give him a reason .....he's such a selfless soul.. What have I done to deserve him??... He needs some alone time. But.. if he hates me after this?,, if he leaves me one-day?... No no no it can't.... I'll just give him some alone time.

" Yes, you can go but come back on time. ",,I said.

" Thank you mummy and I will ",,he said and left the house.

I don't want him be sad, I just want him to be safe. I didn't wanted to hurt him but........

Suddenly the calling bell buzzed interupping my thoughts. I looked at the clock it's 6:30am ..who can be here in this hour?

I walked towards the door and opened it.

"Areum? What are you doing here in this hour? "

" Good morning Chun-hei and nice way to greet your friend ",,she said entering my house. I locked the door behind her.

She's Choi Areum. My one and only true friend. She is the person who saved me and Jimin 15 years ago. She knows everything about us. She helped me to the point that an own sister will never do. She took us here, gave us a new life. She is my neighbour too. YeonJun is her only son . She lives alone with YeonJun too. Her husband cheated on them and left them for money. Her story is kind of same with us but her husband is not a murderer like mine. Her husband lives in Seoul may be.
( can you guess who was Mrs, Choi 's husband? 😬)

She sat down on the sofa and looked at me with a questioning expression.

" what happened Chun-hei? ",,she asked

"Nothing Areum.. "

" don't try to hide anything from me. I know you very well Chun-hei??, I actually came here after I saw Jimin exiting the house this early with a lifeless expression.. Tell me what happened?"

I know I can't hide anything from her. She really knows me very well. May be she can tell me what can I do now?

" Jimin wants to go to Seoul.. ",,I deadpanned..

" He wants to go to Seoul?? Why? ",,she asked getting shocked.

" He wants to study in KNUA.. and he already got accepted for admission. ",,I said looking down.

" WOW!!!! HE GOT REALLY SELECTED!!! ",,,she screamed beaming with happiness.
I looked up at her getting surprised. Why is she happy?..

" Why are you happy Areum? ",,I asked looking at her.

" Who will not be?.. Can't you realise what are you saying? OUR JIMIN GOT SELECTED!! "

" what?? Are you insane Areum?? He wants to go to Seoul... SEOUL!!!!! "

" so what Chun-hei?? It's been 15 years !! Accept your past and leave it behind!! "

" what are you talking about? ",,
I can't understand what is she saying, really?? She wants me to forget everything?

" You know very well what I'm talking about chun -hei.. Not many people gets the chance to fulfil their dreams. Jiminie got it,, don't crush his dreams chun-hei!!!"

" You think I am crushing his dreams Areum??? I'm just saving him!! "
I said. Yes I'm just saving him, saving him from the cruel world.

" By smashing his dreams, you are not saving anything Chun-hei,, you are not saving Jimin right now, you are just running from your past!!! ",,she said looking straight at my eyes.

Is it true.....? I'm running??,, running from my past?.... No.. No.. No.... I left it long time ago.... Didn't I?

" What do you mean by that Areum?,, let him go to the Hell hole again? ",,I asked looking at her with angry eyes. I thought out of all people she will definitely understand .....

" If you see it as a hellhole then it's a hell hole to you Chun-hei but it's a dream in Jimin's eyes, you can't change it.... "

" Yes yes I can Change it Areum, he already started forgetting about it!! ",,I tried to reason with her.

" Huhhhh really Chun-hei??, I thought you know Jimin well but see I'm wrong!! "

" what do you mean by I don't know him? "

" yes you don't!!! Jimin is a passionate person Chun-hei. He will just hide his feelings from you but in his heart there will always be a incomplete dream. With time his hidden dream will change into pain and it will hurt him to the end!!! ",,she said walking towards me..

" Wh-what? "

" yeah it is Chun-hei. He is a bird with tied wings, let him fly Chun-hei, let him explore his deserved sky.. Please! "

" Bu-but I can't let him go there Areum!!! Who will save him if any-anything happens? "

" He's a brave and responsible boy Chun-hei. He's a strong boy, your strong boy and always remember we will not always be here to save him Chun-hei. "

" I -I... You me---"

" yes we all have to leave when our time comes Chun-hei.... Just let him be happy like how he wants... Just do it for his happiness! "

"But--"

"No buts Chun-hei, just think about it and always remember I'm always here to help you out. ",,she said with an assuring smile on her face.

Do I really have to think about it?.. Why??, after all this year's why is life playing with me again ?..I just wanted him to be safe, is it too much to ask for?...... Am I really caging him?.... I can't think about it... I don't want to think... Do I really running from the past?.... Ohhhh god help me..

I was sinking in thoughts, suddenly Areum hugged me. I just gave in. After all, she is the person who saved me, gave a new life, She was always there for me in every situation. She encouraged me, she motivated me,, she's always been right,, is she also right now???

" Don't pressure yourself Chun-hei, you are a strong woman, just think about it, nothing else. ",,she said patting my shoulder.

I pulled back from the hug and slightly nodded.

" OK,, I will leave now and when Jimin comes back apologise to him if said anything bad to him.",,she suggested

I nodded again and smiled at her, she always helps me when I need. She smiled back at me and left.

I sat down on the sofa and picked up a smiling picture of my Jiminie from the table.

I caressed his face in the picture. Tears rolled down from my eyes again and fell on the photo.

Is Areum saying the right thing?
should I let him go and fulfil his dreams?
I know my boy is very much talented. Actually it doesn't surprise me that he got accepted in KNUA, he is far more talented than anyone, who is in the selection authority. He had a passion for dancing from his childhood. The passion slowly became his love and a big part of life. If you describe him you have to mention Dance, because dance shows the best of him.

And when I say he's an angel, I don't say it because he is my boy, I say it because he really is an angel. You can clearly see that when you see him dancing. The earth disappears from him when he dances. He looks like he came from another world. A world of fairy's.
Just thinking about him made me smile.

Suddenly my phone started ringing. I know the number, it is my doctors number. I think my test results came.

" Good morning Mr. Lee! "

" Good morning to you too Mrs.Park,how is your health now? "

" it's fine but the headaches are coming back and I feel nauseous too. "

" I have to tell you something important Mrs. Park....... "

" What is it Mr. Lee, do my test results came? "

" yes Mrs. Park and it's about your result.... "

" What about it Doctor? Is my health okay?.. "

"can you come to the hospital ?? I think if I tell you -----"

" please tell me now Mr. Lee!! "

My heart is really beating fast. Am I not okay? What happened to me?

" Mrs. Park you............................."

Jimin's P.O.V

      I'm walking to no where. I'm just walking aimlessly. Somehow I feel useless. I am such a disappointment. I'm pathetic. I always disappoint Mummy. Earlier today when I saw her my heart broke into how many pieces, I can't count. Her eyes were red. She cried. She cried for me.

        I should have told her before. I should have thought that she will not like the idea of me going to Seoul for studying. She gave me everything I needed and I.............
I should stop dancing. I know whenever I will dance,,I'll remember about my dream. But I really don't want a dreamlife where mummy will never be. I can sacrifice millions of dreams, offers and even my life for her.
I decided I'll never talk about it again. I will be the boy she always wants
I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going back to right now, I have to apologise to mummy properly, I turned around and started running back to home.

Time Skip

I'm standing in front of our house. I wiped my face again and made sure there are no signs of tears. I will not cry in front of her again . I entered the house.

" MUMMY!!! I'M HOME!! ",,I screamed like everytime and tried to sound as cheerful as possible.

" Jiminie?? You already came? I didn't even finished making pancakes!! ",,she said coming out from kitchen with a smile on  her face. Her eyes still looking red and puffy. Did she cried again?....

" You were making pancakes mummy? ",,,I asked acting happy.

" yes baby... For you... Mummy's wanted to say sorry to her beautiful boy. ",,she said coming towards me and hugging me suddenly.

I hugged her back. It always feels relaxing.
" Jiminie is sorry too Mummy!! ",,I said.
" my jiminie don't have to be sorry, he didn't do anything wrong. ",,she said patting my back. I smiled.

We pulled back from the hug and I wanted to cry again but I'll not.

" Go fresh up and get changed, you are sweaty, you must ran back to home am I right? ",,she asked

" yes mummy just wait a little, I'm coming back! ",I said in the way of running to my room.

I washed my face again and again. I'm currently looking at the mirror. Tears started to flow again as I entered my room. I don't know why but........
I wiped my eyes and got changed into a black jeans and a white plain T-shirt and matched it up with my white converse shoes . I have to go to the flower shop after the breakfast.

I exited my room and the sweet scent of pancakes filled my nostrils. Pancakes are my favourite. Whenever I get sad mummy makes pancakes for me. She cares about me a lot.

" Jiminie why are you standing there ? Come here.. ",,mummy said filling up the glasses with fresh orange juice.

I nodded a little and sat . Mummy sat in front of me. I stared at the food. It really looks delicious .

" Thank you for making pancakes for me mummy!! ",,I said smiling at her.

" You don't have to thank me baby and let's eat fast, we have to go somewhere.. "

" Where mummy?, if you need something I'll get it for you.. ",,I said thinking about her health.

" No no, I want to go "

" Mummy your health is still not good, you really don't have to go anywhere.. ",,I insisted

" it's OK Jiminie, I'm perfectly fine ",,she said placing her hand on my left hand.

" Your test results are still to come and then I will decide if you are fine or not mummy!! ",,I said

" You don't have to stress about it Jiminie, my results already came. "

" Already came?? When? "
I asked getting confused. I didn't knew about it. When did it came?

" yes Jimin, Mr. Lee called me earlier this morning and he said I'm perfectly fine and just have to take some rest, then it will be all OK. ",,she said with a assuring smile.

" ah really? That's good, Then we will go to the hospital today for the final check up ",,I suggested

" No no Jimin, it is not really needed. Doctor Lee said it's not necessary anymore..... Hahaha ",,she said laughing a little at the last, but why will Doctor uncle say that the check up is not necessary ??

" Are you sure mummy? "

" yes baby, hundred percent!! ",,she exclaimed and started eating.
I ate the pancakes too  ,it was really delicious as usual.
After breakfast mummy said to wait for her to get ready. She got ready and we left the house.

" where are we going mummy? ",,I asked cause I'm dying over curiosity.

" Shopping!! ",she said smiling

" SHOPPING??..... "

"yes Jiminie ,for you.. "

" For me?? But why mummy? I really don't need anything right now... "

" You will need it baby. "

" But why? "

" you will need it when you will go to Seoul baby? Don't you need new clothes for college? ",,,she asked smiling and I am beyond shocked..... What?????

" What?? "

" Ayeeeee look at my babies face, how cute!! ",,she said ruffling my hairs.

" Mummy?? "

" Yes Jiminie, you are going to Seoul."

" Bu-but mummy, I don't wanna against you--"

" No no Jiminie, I want you to go there and pursue your dreams baby ",,she said smiling

" But mummy I know you don't want me to go there, you don't have to change your mind for me mummy,.",,,I said thinking that she's doing this against her will and for my happiness.

" No Jimin, I really want you to go there baby, to show the world your talent ,I'm sorry for saying those harsh things to you. I was just angry that you didn't told me about it before baby, nothing else... ".,,she said.

" Really Mummy? You want me to go there? ",,,I can't hold back my tears anymore. I'm just very much happy. My mother is a gift from god to me.

" yes Jiminie, I want you to be successful and please don't cry baby, you already cried a lot for me.. ",,she said and I can see her eyes are glistening too but she's still smiling.

I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back. I let out my happy tears.

" OK OK now stop crying Jiminie ,everyone will think I'm scolding you ",,she said pulling back from the hug and wiping my tears. I smiled at her and nodded happily. I can't be more happy than how happy I am right now.

She bought me new shoes, shirts, sweaters jeans, jackets and new black leather bag . We ate lunch in a restaurant and she bought me ice cream too. The day was perfect just like when I was a child. I don't remember my father ,it's not like I miss him. You have to remember someone to miss him right????
So my mummy contains all the memories from my childhood that I remember.

We came back home in the evening.I helped mummy to prepare dinner. Mummy called Areum aunty and Yeonjun to join us in the dinner. They came and we told them everything. Aunty seemed to know something from beforehand but still looked surprised. Yeonjun was very much happy and excited about it.

" I told you hyung ,once you get the chance, aunty is going to give you permission to go Seoul ",,Yeonjun exclaimed happily....

I just smiled.

Mummy and aunty were talking about something privately and me and Yeonjun watched a movie together. My life became very much beautiful all of a sudden.

    " Happiness depends upon ourselves..... "

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                  ~♥~

So here's another boring chapter lovelies. Tell me how was it please------------♥

Why do you think Chun-hei suddenly accepted it?

Can you tell, who was Areum 's husband?

Again thank you for reading my story and if you like it please vote and comment.... Pleaseeeeee ♥♥♥♥

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