BLACK OUT DAYS ╱ JAY HALSTEAD
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by liv . . . © -wonderhaze
𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 ━━━━━━━ ❛ 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙚❜𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 ❜

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𝗢𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱 didn't exactly know what to think as she called her boyfriend for the 5th time that evening. He hadn't been answering her calls lately and it was starting to scare her. With him in training every day, she knew he was out at risk and so not hearing from him for hours at a time was slightly terrifying. Jay halstead was the one to always answer Octavia's calls. He was always responding to her texts at a fast pace and answering her calls, but since he began his training, it was as if the girl didn't matter anymore. Octavia let out an aggravated scream as she threw her phone onto her bed and stormed to her roommates room.

"Have you heard from Jay?" Octavia asked as she walked into her roommates bedroom, knowing that Jay and her roommate were practically best friends

"I haven't, but tav, you know he's at training and can't call you until that night," Sophie Elissa answered as she crossed her legs and sat up on her bed

"I know, but he normally calls at this time soph and he hasn't. I'm worried, what if he got injured and is in the hospital somewhere, seriously hurt and I'm not there? What type of person am I if I didn't check up on him," Octavia stressed as she brushed her hands through her messy hair

"Breathe Tav, he's okay and he'll call you in a little bit," Sophie tried to reassure and just as it started to calm the girl down, the sound of a phone ringing sounded down the hall

"It's him!" Octavia yelled as she ran out of her roommates room, down the hall, and into her room

Octavia jumped onto her bed and picked up her phone, pressing the answer button before even checking the number. As Octavia put the phone up to her ear, she felt like something was off. She didn't know what it was but it felt like the air and mood of the room changed. As the phone went through to Jay, she could just feel like something was off. When you answer the calls for the academy, you have to wait to get transferred from those servers to the jays phone. This entire process was extremely stupid and Octavia hated it, but knowing that she didn't have a say, she didn't tell anyone she hated it.

"Hello, is this Octavia Strand?" What sounded like a recording sounded into Octavia's ears

"Yes it is, I've been calling to talk to my fian-boyfriend Jay Halstead," Octavia corrected, almost slipping up and ruining things for Jay

"Yes, we are calling to inform you that Jay Halstead is being deployed to Afghanistan in two days and will have no contact until then. Please do not call unless you have important information, have a nice evening," the recording informed before hanging up and leaving Octavia strand on the other end in complete and utter shock.

Jay halstead was leaving her and there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

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Many people would say what Octavia was doing was crazy. She didn't exactly see it that way. Storming onto a military academy base to find your boyfriend before he got deployed definitely wasn't something a psycho girlfriend would do. She didn't care that people were staring at her in every direction as she walked into the base and to the place she knew Jay had always been. It wasn't like she was doing this because he wasn't answering her. She was doing this because he hadn't told her he was leaving and that hurt her more than anything else. She understood it was his job but the tightness in her chest at the thought of Jay Halstead laying dead because of war made her want to hold him tightly and never let out.

"Tavia what the hell," Jay outburst as he struggled up off of his bed, his best friend laying across his chest and not moving

"Mouse out," Tavia grabbed her boyfriends best friend and practically threw him out of the room as she slammed the door behind her

"So you were just going to leave and act like I never existed? Was that your plan or were you going to tell me once you were already there so I couldn't do a thing about it? How can you just leave after everything we've been through," Octavia spat, anger evident in her voice as she walked up to him and glared right into his eyes, forcing him to look directly at her and not at the floor

"I was going to tell you, I just knew you would try and stop me," Jay mumbled, fear evident in his eyes as he stared at the girl he loved more than anything else

"I would never try and stop you, I would think about it but this is what you want and to protect the world? I would never stop you from doing that. If you think I would, you truly don't know me as well as I thought you did. I thought you knew me more than I knew myself but I guess not," Octavia forced out, trying not to choke on the emotion in her throat. She felt like a piece of her was being ripped from her and she was dying.

"Tavia, please, I'm leaving for up to 3 years. I can't go that long without seeing you. Please don't leave like this," Jay rushed out, rushing forward and grabbed Octavia's forearm and trying to pull her back in

"I don't want to leave but I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me enough to tell me things. It hurts that you think I would try and stop you from doing something you love J," Octavia told him as she let go of the door handle and walked back over to his bed, sitting down and placing her head in her hands

"I do trust you, k just didn't know if you would want me to do this and I know if you told me not to go I wouldn't. I would stay if you wanted me to, via," Jay told the girl as he bent down in front of her and took her hands in his

That sentence made Octavia break down into tears. She didn't want to ruin her makeup, but knowing he would stay for someone like her. Octavia strand was just a normal girl and this man was willing to give up everything for her. She selfishly wanted to tell him stay because she needed him. But she didn't tell him that. She physically couldn't force the words out of her even if she wanted to. Jay halstead had a dream and that dream was the protect the world around him and that meant going into the army. She couldn't ruin that dream for him. The one thing he's had a passion for since the day they met. Since he could talk and learn, he knew he wanted to be a police officer, detective, or army ranger.

"I can't ask you to do that, I won't ask you to do that," Octavia gasped as she tried to catch her breathe, crying making it hard to breathe

"okay first, breathe, second I would do it even if you didn't ask me to. If you just looked at me with your beautiful brown eyes, I would stay. I would stay no matter what, I would stay to be with you," Jay leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of her forehead and for some reason that made Octavia jump back

"Shit shit shit, I'm going to ruin things for you if they see me here," Octavia basically jumped off of the bed as she walked towards the door, remembering if people saw that she was the one Jay halstead had been talking about, he would be stripped of his badge and everything due to Santiago Strand being Octavia's dad

"I don't care," Jay leaned forward and went to kiss her but she pushed him away, panic and distress filling her

"I care! What don't you understand Jay? I can ruin everything for her because of my dad, I can't do that to you! Maybe I shouldn't have even tried to stop you, maybe I should have just stayed home and let you leave without getting to say goodbye," Octavia panicked out as she paced the room, trying to figure out how to fix this

"wait you were coming to stop me?" Jay mentioned, completely ignoring everything else she had said

"Yes! I came here, I drove 4 hours to get here so I could stop you from going into war and make sure I would be able to see you again! now I regret that, I shouldn't have come at all," Octavia says as her phone starts to ring, she pulls it out of her purse before hitting the decline button and putting it back in her purse. Of course Santiago strand was calling at a time when his daughter was in a state of distress and panic

"I'll stay, I won't go. I can't ask you to put your life on hold because your scared I'm going to lose mine," Jay burst as the girl walked back to the door and swung it open

"I'm not asking you to do that, you need to go, they need Jay halstead more than I do at the moment," Octavia told her boyfriend, her heart crushing inside her as she forced the words out

"what do you mean by that?" Jay mumbled, knowing very well what Octavia was going to say next

"I think we need to go on a break, I can't ruin things for you and you being with me is doing that very-" Before Octavia could even finish, Jay was rushing off and that's when Octavia started to break inside. She quickly walked away, rushing to the safe walls of her car

Jay halstead now hated Octavia Strand and it was all her fault.

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Octavia wasn't surprised at the looks she received as she got out of her car two days after the argument. She had spent the last two days eating ice cream and junk food, sitting in her hotel room in her pajamas and watching supernatural. The first season had just concluded and she was in love with dean Winchester. She hadn't taken the time that morning to do anything but brush her hair, teeth, and change. She had no makeup on and the bags under her eyes were probably very evident as she walked into the military base. She looked around and expected to see the bus that was driving them to the airport they were taking to another military base, but instead she just saw other crying wives and kids. That's what broke Octavia more than the actual break up. She may never see Jay Halstead again and it was all her fault.

━━━━ liv speaks !

let's ignore how short this prologue is and how messy it is.

I love Jay and Octavia so much and I'm excited for what the future holds for them and this book.

make sure to vote and comment! I love hearing from you all and getting feedback!

much love, liv!

━━━━━━━━━━ black out days,
© -wonderhaze, 2023

word count: 1919. written: 1.28.23. published: 1.29.23