CHAPTER TEN

I couldn't estimate exactly just how long it had initially been since Cassy— or was it Cassidy— had left with our sticks to go and fetch someone to help me carry Flagon to safety.

I was beginning to feel the numbness around my face that was bare to the brewing coldness that surrounded us. I was pretty positive that if Flagon hadn't developed hypothermia then, he would surely gain it now.

I looked up briefly into the sky and saw its impending darkness, the darkest shade of blue I've ever seen. It was intimidating, certainly, to anticipate your own demise in the harsh winter.

I breathed heavily, feeling as though every breath felt like a sharp menthol shoved down my throat. It felt as though I was freezing my insides this way. It didn't help how my fingers began to shake and my legs began to tremble, unsure if I could hold Flagon's weight in another gruesome set of minutes.

"Flagon, if you can hear me, I think it's the right time for you to get up for a moment before I accidentally drown you in snow." I shakily managed out, taking one step forward at a time.

Originally, I had been determined to make it—solidified with the resolve that help was coming our way.

Now, it felt farther and farther away. I couldn't see anything other than the vision the night allowed me. Other than that, I saw no indication of proper light coming from any form of civilization; not the cabin, not from anywhere.

I could picture my end in this darkness with the cold biting me harshly and making my throat run parched with the cold dry air, a grown man weighing behind me like a dead weight (literally), and nothing to keep me motivated.

In this forest, I was just a man relentlessly chasing the possibility that I would soon get us out of this looming pathway filled with endless arrays of trees.

I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge of terror.

I was alone (practically), and if things don't go well— I'd be carrying a corpse on my back before I become one myself. And I didn't know what would become of my conscience if I let Flagon die by grasping my own fate and low chances of survival.

I knew I had higher chances of making it if I had been completely alone, and yet, I couldn't picture myself doing anything else than what I am currently— in all honesty. I think I would rather die than come back alone knowing fully well I had let a comrade die out.

Gritting my teeth, I stumbled over my own feet, resulting in staggering forward until the snow hit my knees. I couldn't blame them for buckling over.

"Shit!" I cursed as Flagon fell to the snow beside me, face immediately getting buried in the deep snow. "No, no, no, no." I chanted on repeat as I instantly dropped beside him to claw the snow away and reach his body despite feeling as though the temperature penetrated through my soaked gloves.

I eventually reached him, and so, with every ounce of strength I had left— I prompted him up and had no other choice but to place him back over my shoulder into his original state of a piggy back ride. It was the only way to keep him away from dropping in temperature.

My body temperature and his (even through our layers of clothing) was really help us. Infact, anything minimal will do.

I straightened my legs and felt them shake, I didn't mind it and instead began to strive forward once more even if my teeth began to clash against one another from how my jaw shook in the cold.

"One more." I kept muttering to myself in repeat with one wobble of a leg at a time, hands numbly clutching the body behind me in an attempt to stabilize him and myself.

"M/n?"

Looking up at the sound of my name, I met a pair of aloof eyes that I knew pretty well.

His big imposing figure that came across as intimidating to most was actually misleading, beneath all the muscles his body possesses and his odd tendency to sniff everything and everyone around him— Miche Zacharius was actually a gentle and silent guy who keeps to himself.

I met him when we got paired for ODM training once. I did not need to explain just how exactly he abolished and humbled my supposed skills for that forte.

I was relieved to see the big guy, he was in the complete state to help Flagon out as he barely looked as though the temperature penetrated his skin.

But as my eyes slowly moved towards the newcomer who emerged from the mass of woods and hanging branches, I felt my heart thump like it was being brought back to life.

"M/n?" I didn't even notice how Miche called out to me. "He's not responsive." He said to his partner who eventually joined us.

My eyes met the ocean hue I've dreamt about the entire time I walked through the gruesome snow. Our eyes locked as they slowly shaped into concern.

"Erwin." His name fell out of my lips like a breathy prayer, a silent longing, a testament to fresh air.

I could not begin to describe how my chest swelled in the sight of him and how suddenly— I could not be bothered with the coldness that wrapped my body.

The sight of him made me feel safe, as though I knew everything would be fine from this point on. It was unstoppable. He made me feel unstoppable; as though I could do anything I wanted to achieve with one hand as long as he held the other.

It was that sort of feeling.

"Miche, can you handle Flagon?" Erwin stepped forward, pushing back the hood of his cloak that initially shielded his ears and nape from the cruel cold.

His question had not been a question of capability but more on a request, in which Miche immediately cooperated with as he stepped forward and helped me get Flagon off my back.

As soon as he was lifted off and transferred to Miche, I immediately felt as though an incredible weight lifted off my creaking shoulders. Although it helped my bones, it didn't change my current predicament of battling my lack of immunity to the cold.

I didn't even notice right away as soon as our eyes disconnected, he was right by my side in an instance and placed a gloved hand over my clothed shoulder.

"M/n, are you all right?" He gazed down at me with unmasked worry, which gave me a different impression of his typical unreadable looks.

He winced lightly at his own words, also realizing how ridiculous his question had been. Of course he figured it right away I didn't exactly meet the criteria of being 'all right'.

"Can you feel your limbs?"

I swallowed to give at least the slightest moisture to my throat before nodding, "Fairly."

He looked deep in thought as he stared at my current condition before gently holding my arm.

"I'll get you out of here." He held my gaze in a firm promise before moving as though he was intending for me to ride on his back.

I immediately thought it was a terrible idea.

"I can walk!" I mustered out an argument, refusing to be carried.

"Don't be stubborn, M/n. I can see how you can barely move your legs. I'll carry you back to the cabin, no questions asked." Erwin wasn't hearing 'no' for an answer.

I didn't want to be carried in the same manner I did Flagon. I felt and experienced it firsthand how difficult it made things more. After all, a person's strength can be greatly penalized in this weather condition.

Maybe except Miche, that guy's a bear.

Seeing my lack of willingness, he turned to face me and closed the proximity. His hand found the upper part of my head and began to brush it in a ghost touch, one that I could barely even feel.

Not that I could feel things like normal in this current situation.

His eyes held a concerned glint, one that was soft yet determined. I always knew this; he was a gentle and careful man with a kind touch. He was not rough, a brute, or one of violence.

That's exactly why it had been so easy to trust him in the first place.

"I don't want you to freeze out here in the cold, M/n." The way he spoke was like feather to my ears. The smoothness of his baritone voice reminding me of sunday masses, family dinners, walks to the neighbor's house.

It was welcoming, always had a tone that naturally drew people in.

"You've done enough. Now let me help you." He pleaded with me with that desperate look in his eyes, one that made me swallow sinfully despite the gravity of the situation.

How could I ever refuse him? He already laid his claims upon my mortal being, saying that it included my spiritual soul would not even count as farfetched.

I had been pulled deeper into the black hole and I don't think I could ever escape him.

And so, I gave in.

He gave me the luxury to be comfortable as I leaned tiredly against his shoulder, arms timidly circling around his frame with no force into them.

I could feel the way his muscles flex underneath all the layers of clothing that separated direct touch.

Erwin was silent and gave no signs of struggling, unlike I who had been gasping for life with my death walk with Flagon. It reminded me just how beneath all the fancy clothing Erwin puts on, he did hide a testament (in the form of a body) of all the work and effort he gives.

He was not like me. He did not mind the cold as much as I did, and he definitely did not skip out on daily exercises.

"Tell me if I'm too heavy." I weakly mustered out, lighting up the atmosphere as he chuckled— and I could feel it as his body rumbled a very light vibration.

"You can never be too heavy for me, M/n. What use would all my strength be if I can't even lift you up?"

I tried not to let his words get to me.

He's just a friend, M/n. I repeated like a broken instrument in my head. Everything is platonic. I added in as well, just incase I ever forgot.

"You can rest on me." Erwin informed me without tearing his eyes off the path. "I know you're tired and cold. Don't worry, I'm going to get you something warm as soon as we arrive. For now, just rest."

His voice was lulling for my drifting consciousness.

Had his back always been this comfortable? Do piggy back rides normally feel this comfortable?

No. I suppose it's just because it's Erwin.

Every stride of his felt solid, not a tremble or a hint of hesitation upon pushing forward. He showed no struggle in the face of adversity and I really admired that about him.

Before I knew it, I found myself swayed by the comfort he radiated.

My head soon finding the crook of his neck a comfy place from the warmth it radiated. I know I was cold, my skin must have felt like ice to touch— I knew that myself with that much self-awareness. And although I was certain he could feel it too, he showed no indication of actually acknowledging it.

He didn't point it out or shrugged me off because it felt like ice cubes were being poured down on him.

He just didn't mind.

My consciousness was drifting and I didn't even notice how I was nuzzling into him, but I did feel how the grip of his hands holding me tighten ever-so-slightly. His muscles tensing.

I pulled back slightly, feeling awkward at how I let my guard down briefly.

I cleared my parched throat, "Sorry." I mutter.

His thumbs rubbed soothing circles against the layers of clothing that separated his direct touch from my skin.

"I asked you to rest, didn't I? Don't mind me too much—don't mind me at all."

And I didn't know if the heat slowly climbing up my chest was the result of the external heat he provided or the internal warmth being with him brought me.