CHAPTER FIVE

"Nile sent me a letter!"

I found myself in her little rented room once more, seated on the very same chair I found myself seated on multiple occasions.

"That's great." I absentmindedly responded, currently not in the mood in writing another letter for Erwin.

Lately, I have been trying to find alternative ways to distract myself from ever thinking of him.

While it wasn't as bad in the day, all the longing stored up would crush me to its fullest by once it sets. I was terrible at this entire 'moving on' thing but I was desperate to pull it off somehow.

"He wants to get to know me better. Not in the friends way." Marie moved closer to me, hanging around my chair as she paced across the room. "What shall I do?"

"Are you interested in him?"

"I was interested in him first. Until. . . Well, until Erwin happened." Marie sighed, I tried not to grimace at the sound of his name. "But now, I honestly do not know!"

"Get to know them."

"I honestly feel they're both great." She stressed, shaking her head repeatedly. "Erwin is such a gentleman. Wise, mature, and smart. But Nile is fun. He's funny, especially in his letters." She cracked a small smile. "I like them both, but I'm still deciding on who I should love."

Oh, to have that problem.

I could only love one man, it seems. And it's in an unfortunate ordeal too.

"Will you write your own letters to Nile?" I asked, hopeful she wouldn't push the responsibility on me because I have nothing romantic to say or feel for Nile- the paper would end up empty if the circumstances were given.

"Well, yes. After all, you are already writing for Erwin."

She leaned back, humming in thinking. "You know what? I don't think I ever told you about what happened the night I walked with Erwin."

I was lucky to have my back face her because I was squeezing my eyes shut as though it would help me become deaf to her words.

I didn't want to hear it.

"He met me on time by the church, he was dressed neatly. Almost reminded me of a prince in the fairytale our teachers would tell us." She began. "It started fine, he was very kind. But then he started talking about something I wasn't really familiar with, you know? And the conversation just fell from that. But it was a pleasant night, he walked me back to my place and bid goodbye. It was a very gentle night, he is the very epitome of a gentleman."

I inhaled sharply, trying not to show how my hand shook as I held a quill.

"That's great." I mustered. "I'm glad you had a pleasant experience."

"But that alone was not enough for me to decide he was the one. I'm kinda just searching for something more." She admitted.

I didn't know what else to say. Congratulations? She was practically living my deepest desires. And I wondered just how it felt like to be loved by Erwin Smith.

However, it was her life to live.

"Search for what you need to search for." I mumbled, placing the quill down as I absolutely did not feel like writing today.

"And then what?"

"You take responsibility."

As I returned to my dorm, I was half-surprised to see Nile Dok seated in the study table- a sight I never thought I'd live to see. Standing beside him, with one hand on the chair's back and the other flat atop the surface, was Erwin Smith.

They turned at the sound of the door opening, seeing me by the doorway shrugging off my coat.

"Evening." Nile lazily saluted.

"You're late." Erwin pointed out, making me frown slightly.

"Yeah? Had a drink before leaving." I admitted, moving to the other side of Nile's chair, curiously looking over to what the fuss was about.

"You had a drink?" I heard the blonde speak from the other side, sounding skeptical.

"Just a glass." I shortly replied, keeping it vague.

"Perfect timing, M/n!" Nile exclaimed with imaginary tears as he clutched my hands into his in the same manner Marie had done when begging for something out of me.

I glanced at him unsurely, finding the same pattern familiar.

"I need your help!"

I glanced at the parchment in front of him, a lit candle light by the side. "A resignation letter?"

"What do you take me for?" Nile deadpanned before switching back. "You know Marie best, right? You always go out twice a week to see her."

I arched a brow, "Well, yeah. She's my sister." I did not like where this was leading to.

"Then tell me everything about her! All the ways to capture her heart, show me your romantic ways."

"My. . . Romantic ways?" That sounds incredibly ridiculous.

I could see Erwin chuckle in amusement from Nile's other side. Shouldn't he be upset? This love letter was clearly going to be sent to Marie. And yet, he seems perfectly fine with it.

But then again, he has always been good at masking his emotions. Whatever devastation he must feel inside, he was shoving down deep to accommodate his friend's own feelings.

"I, well. . ." I hesitated, wondering if I could even come close when it comes to valuing relationships. I doubt I did. Hell, I was crushing on my sister's suitor.

"Erwin has been giving me a couple of lines and ideas but I trust your judgment more, we both know Erwin isn't particularly rich in ladies." Nile retorted, too invested in his blank love letter to pay attention to how I cautiously glanced at the blonde.

The male in question didn't look like the words bothered him one bit. While it held some truth that Erwin didn't have any romantic interests before Marie, I was also aware about how the girls in our camp would sometimes stare a second too long at him.

And can I blame them when I have fallen for the very same spell?

I cleared my throat and leaned in, trying to see what Nile had jotted down.

Nothing.

The table was completely empty other than a candlelight, an ink canister with a quill, an empty sheet, and a random romantic novel that Nile must have thought would help him.

I wince but quickly recovered, trying not to show that Nile had proved himself to be a lost cause. "Umm. . . What lines have you thought of on your own? Perhaps you can tell me and we'll work from there."

While I could never write a love letter for Nile with the intentions of sending it to Marie, I didn't mind giving him a hand in finding words to say.

"Let's see. . ." He fished out a note from his pockets, as though he had written it earlier in the day thinking it would be useful. "Dear Marie, you remind me of a gentle creature most beloved and valuable to most. The way you gallop across the pub has me mesmerized, resembling that a lovely creature with speed and caution. The creature in question has been considered the beauty of the East, as I have considered you the beauty of my East (the heart). This creature is gentle and loved, just like you. With your strong voice and swift movement, I am reminded most of this beautiful creature. This creature, by the way, is a horse."

Erwin made a choked noise, as though holding back a wheeze that suddenly erupted from him.

I, too, was stunned to silence as I listened to him read his note.

"So?" Nile tapped his foot impatiently, too dense to realize his entire monologue had been plainly outrageous.

I pursed my lips into a thin line as I patted his back, "Congratulations." I held my fist against my lips, trying to think of ways to actually help him. Was this even still repairable? "I think 'single' is a look that fits you more."

He pushed my hand away with an annoyed look as I began laughing.

"Seriously, it had started so well." I said, making Erwin nod in agreement with a hearty chuckle of his own. "But then you began to glorify horses more than actually telling her how much she means to you."

"Stop laughing!" He yelled with cheeks flushed, embarrassed. "Tell me how to fix it."

After several moments of finally composing myself, I brushed my hand through my hair.

"Well, tell me about her."

"What?" Nile stared at me as though I had grown another head. "You know her more than I do!"

"Tell me what you like about her, Dimwit." I forced his head to turn and face the paper. "Look at this blank sheet and imagine Marie. What do you see? What comes into mind? What are the words you wish to tell her?"

Nile closed his eyes with a furrow of his brows, really getting into it with the utmost concentration.

Then he opened them wide and abrupt, staring at the piece of paper as though it had done something to him.

"I. . . I love you, Marie. Please marry me!"

I could smack my head hard against the surface of the table and call it a night, that sounds like an easier option than having to deal with this.

And yet, looking into Nile's shameless determination and genuine eagerness- I knew I couldn't just leave him helpless. What kind of friend would I be if I couldn't even help Nile gain a chance?

"Maybe let us take it one step at a time." I clasped my hands together. "What is the thing you like about her the most? And do not tell me something as shallow like her face or her hair. Give me something deeper- something that curves around your chest and fills that sense of depth and longing in you."

"What if I do like her hair or face? What's wrong with that?" He asked curiously with a twinge of hesitation and doubt.

"Nothing." I answered with a calm smile. "Complimenting her outer appearance is good and all, but that is liking someone. Loving someone means your blood runs for something deeper than just the physical outer appearance. While being attracted to her by looks is good, you have to remember it isn't her face that defines her entire character. Which means you shall not limit it as so."

Nile absorbed my words feverishly, nodding his head at every syllable.

He then looked down, thoughtfully. A shade of pink still painted his cheeks and the tips of his fingers began to turn a brighter shade as well. From one look alone, I could tell he was really thinking about it.

"I love her independence. Her wild, free spirit that speaks of no boundaries. I love how every single time she enters a room, attention is commanded towards her (mine included). I love how she has her own free will and mind to do whatever the hell she wants without caring about the size of her fear."

Now, he was really speaking- stripped off of the layers of typical infatuation. The way he spoke and the way his eyes glinted gave me a strong impression of his sincerity.

And yet, I was reminded about how it was not only he who was capable of speaking such fervor.

My eyes flickered towards Erwin who then met my eyes upon seeing the shift in my attention. He looked at me curiously; but wordlessly. It was a silent understanding as I checked on him- if this was too much or if Nile confessing his love for the same woman was bothering him.

But he gave me a small smile and a reassuring nod.

And I nearly forgot about how I had avoided him ever since the night he returned from walking with Marie.

It was just hard to ignore him, I realized. Especially when he has become such a major part of my life. Because unlike in the play of my own story where I filled the role of a bystander, he was the leading character. He played a crucial role. He was the center of my universe.

And that's not something anyone can easily forget.

Hell, the black hole can try to swallow the entire milky way but the remnants of it can never be forgotten- it will linger in any form, whether as a dust or atom in comparison to its vast existence. It will still be there.

But when speaking in terms of the universe, I could only depict him more accurately as the sun.

The huge blinding star that gives the brightest source of light for the planets revolving around it. In a way, he has provided me the same. The warmth, the light, the comfort of knowing my world wouldn't be as dim.

He is my sun, my very version of it. A version I would very much rather bask in; whether in a lazy morning where I would much rather stay in bed or even if it was under the scorching heat in the training grounds as I get my ass handed to me.

He is my sun as well as he is the center of my universe.

And although it has been proven that the center of the universe is most definitely not the sun- I didn't care.

If that's the case then I live in my own heliocentric space.