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BITTERSWEET
:: xxx. | cynical times (part 3)

As Vanessa stood on the curb, waiting for a cab to drive by, she pulled out her phone and immediately called her daughter. For some reason as she waited for the other line to pick up, tears slowly began to form in her eyes. She didn't understand why. All she thought about was holding jj's hand. She was tired of just being Jennifer's friend. She wanted to kiss jj. She felt as if her whole world would be put into place again.

She recalled that one night when she met agent jareau. She didn't remember what day it was but she remembered it was passed midnight and Jennifer brought Cole home. Vanessa remembered thinking that she wanted to get to know her, then she recalled the first time she realized she wanted to be more than just a friend of jj's. She just wasn't sure if it was women in general or just Jennifer jareau.

Her seeing will with jj, only made her realize that it was probably too late anyway. Jennifer was now pregnant and she loves will, no matter of how she felt towards Vanessa. By just standing there waiting for her kid to pick up . . . Vanessa finally came to terms with that. She also knew friends wasn't an option either because it'll be too hard. So she made a hard decision in that moment.

She ended the call with Cole before it even started and then went through her contacts. She deleted jj's number and then hailed a taxi. She realized it was time to move on and maybe, possibly be really happy. That meant giving Savannah a fair chance.

After hailing the cab and getting in, she was then headed to the airport for her flight back to Virginia. She wanted it to be peaceful. She didn't want to talk to anyone until she got back. Phone was off and big life changes were happening.

• • •

While everyone else was at the hospital trying to stop the unsub, jj was on the sideline with Penelope. She was completely focused on the case up until this point. She was searching for answers in her head but there was none to be found. She didn't even notice Garcia freaking out over Morgan being the one to drive the ambulance into a field.

However, Garcia took notice when she took her earphone off. Penelope lightly nudged the pregnant blonde who was staring off into space.

"Everything ok, jj?"

Jj snapped out of it, turning to look at Penelope, "Not really." Jj continued, "I thought it was just the surface and that maybe it would go away." She then briefly paused, "But when I held her hand — i-it felt way more than that."

"Are you talking about Vanessa?" Penelope spoke softly.

Jj's voice cracked, "What do I tell will?" She felt very vulnerable and emotional in that moment.

Penelope placed her hand on her shoulder, "The truth. If she's the one you want to be with then you owe it to him to tell him."

"But I'm carrying his child and I love him."

"Do you love her?" The hard question was finally asked.

Then it was answered, "I don't know."

Penelope nodded understandingly, "Then you have a lot of soul searching to do, my friend."

Jj leaned back in the chair as did Penelope. She dwelled on that question. Do you love her? She never asked that before or thought about it. But all the signs point in that direction. Each time Vanessa came to mind. But she knew she couldn't think about anything anymore because she was still on the clock of the case and that is what she needed to focus on for the time being.

She did also know that Garcia was right. It was time to talk to Will and clear the air. But before any of that could happen, the team finally came back and was prompted to return back to Virginia with a not surprise waiting for them.

Miguel.

He sat there in the interrogation room, chained to the table because of murder or murders. The team found out that when on the jet back but Hotch was already informed. All of that slipped jj's mind until they were on the jet because her mind had other priorities up until then.

Once everyone returned back to the BAU, Hotch told them to stick around a bit longer for the Reigns Family case. Hotch then asked Emily and Jennifer to be the ones to start the interrogation, which they both agreed. Jj was still trying to prove his innocence for the sake of cole and Vanessa.

The two walked into the room and sat in front of Miguel.

"What the hell is going on? What am I being accused of this time?"

Jj slid him some photos, "Do you know anything about this?"

"Jeez." Miguel turned the pictures over, "I may dabble in some drugs but I'm not a fucking murder."

"So it's just a coincidence that all these happened everywhere you were." Emily lightly chuckled, "That would mean someone took the time to follow you all the way to Spain just to frame you. That's some true commitment."

"I have an alibi. My mom." He spoke, "Call her if you want."

"We would, but she would just lie for your ass." Jj spoke sternly.

Miguel just sighed. He knew this whole thing was crazy and there was someone other than his mom. The only problem was he would have to risk their safety and ruining his relationship with Cole and Vanessa forever. . possibly.

Another sigh escaped his lips, "You have to promise you won't tell Vanessa." The two agents sat there waiting for what he had to say, "There's a woman in Spain, her name is Bethany Brown. She lives with my mother and my children."

"Children?" Jj questioned in disbelief.

He mumbled, "Cole isn't my only kid."

Jennifer couldn't believe her ears. He may be innocent of murder but having a whole other family in another part of the world was just bizarre to her. She already was keeping other things from Vanessa and now having to keep this too? She wasn't sure if she could do it. She didn't know the whole story, but she knew this was too big to keep. She also knew it wasn't her's to tell, so she decided to keep her mouth shut anyway.

• • •

After the team finished up with Miguel and contacted Spain to bring Miguel's mother and Bethany, Hotch decided to call it a night for everyone — finally.

Although jj was happy to be going home, she still had tons active in her mind. Miguel, her feelings, will. It was like a checklist, she had to check things off so she won't go slowly insane.

Once she got home, she changed her clothes after showering at three in the morning. Will wasn't home yet, so she stayed up until he got back. She thought it was time to finally talk to him about everything and not wait any longer. She waited by laying on the couch, head on the pillow in her pajamas.

Then four-thirty in the morning hit and the door opened, will had just come home and jj's eyes were still wide open.

He noticed her as he walked through the living room, "Thought you be sleep by now."

Jj got up from the couch and followed her boyfriend to the bedroom. "I wanted to talk to you."

His voice was low, "This couldn't wait till we got some sleep?"

"I can't sleep until we talk about this."

After placing his bag down, he went and sat on the edge of the bed next to jj. He gave her his full attention and she was looking into his big, blue eyes.

"Should I be worried?" He spoke softly.

"I-I don't know. . . " Jennifer continued, "Saying this out loud would make this very real but I have to accept it. I already knew for awhile but I just thought it would go away." Jj paused for a moment, "I love you so much, will. I'm excited to be bringing your kid into this world but —"

"But?"

Jj grabbed his hands before finishing, "I have feelings for someone else but that doesn't mean I love you any less."

Will just sat there. He didn't know what to say. He was practically frozen. Out of all things, he didn't expect to hear that. The woman carrying his child has feelings for someone else. All he did was wonder who this other person could be, who potentially has jj's heart. He just couldn't believe it. He was speechless.

Jj spoke, "Please say something."

He mumbled, "Who is it?"

"Doesn't matter." Jj shook her head.

Will abruptly stood up, "Yes, it does. So, who is it?"

Jj stayed seated, "Vanessa."

Will just stood there. He pieced the pieces together and it all made sense. How close those two were, why Vanessa was always weird around him, why the two were weird when he would show up sometimes. It made sense now. Just didn't know what to do with it. So, he didn't say anything. He just went to the bathroom and got out his clothes for bed.

Jj didn't know what to do with that. She just told him some life changing news and he's in the bathroom, didn't say anything. She just sat there quiet for a couple of minutes before climbing into bed on her side, laying on her side. She laid there with her eyes open until she couldn't keep them open anymore.

All she knew was the cat was out of the bag now and she wasn't ready for what's to come.

a/n:
y'all, Miguel has other kids?
how many y'all think? jj finally
came clean to Will. Vanessa
might be moving on, how we
feel?