________________________________________

BITTERSWEET
::  xliv. | thrill of it

A little over a week had gone by. Vanessa's still job hunting, Cole, her, and jj are talking about school, and out of all days, today was the team's day off. When was the last time they had that? Well, it's been a long minute.

It was around noon when jj began putting Henry down for his nap, Vanessa was making lunch, and Cole was just bored out of her mind.

She walked into the kitchen slouching with annoyance which Vanessa noticed when she turned to the source of the footsteps.

The young teen thought she would be relieved or feel some kind of revelation about everything. What came to her attention was that they heard nothing of her father's whereabouts since they been back. . . that alone scared her.

"Um, mom?" Cole walked a little closer to Vanessa, "Where's jj?"

"In the nursery with Henry." She glanced at her daughter, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah." Cole nodded reassuringly, "I just got to go talk her. Nothing important." Cole then left the kitchen to the nursery where jj was. She saw the door was slightly opened, so she took that as an invitation in, however, she found jj breastfeeding. "Sorry, I should've knocked."

"No worries, what's up?"

Cole's hands were fidgeting, she was kind of nervous to ask but had to know regardless, "Do you know where my dad is?"

"He's locked up. He's doing serious time."

"Good." Cole nodded, "That's where he should be."

"Sweetheart, regardless of what he did, it's ok to love him. He's still your dad."

"But he hurt mom." She shook her head, "I can't love someone who hurts the people I love."

Just when jj was about to respond, her phone began ringing. As soon as she picked it up, Cole took that as her cue to leave.

Hotch was on the other line. He told jj that it was an emergency but there was no case. He just needed to speak to everyone because of what he found out was real important. Jj then closed her phone and headed out the nursery with Henry. She walked to the kitchen and found Cole eating her lunch at the table with Vanessa.

"Hey, guys. I have to go in for a moment, so I'll be back later." She turned to Vanessa, "You got Henry?"

Vanessa stood up from the table, "Of course." She opened her arms, approaching jj who then gave her Henry.

Jennifer then kissed Vanessa on the cheek and was out the door to head to the BAU.

• • •

Jennifer walked through the glass double doors on the BAU level and immediately headed towards the conference room. Just as she walked in, she saw everyone was already there and seated while Hotch stood at the head of the table.

The environment seems serious, jj noticed and usually during serious moment, she can't bring herself to sit down. So the blonde stood standing, "You said it was an emergency but no case. What's wrong, Hotch?"

He let out a sigh, "Something happened this morning at the prison Miguel is being held. He was killed this morning. Multiple stab wounds from a shiv. The medics tried everything they could, but there was so much blood." He continued, "I wanted to tell you all because of our long history with him and well, jj can do as she pleases with this information since now you are all under one roof."

None of them had any emotional tie but jj was going to have it rougher than the others because she's the one who has to deliver the news to her girls. She knew what their reaction was going to be. Vanessa would shut down and turn to some substance, then there's cole who would hide her feelings and act out. For Cole it was unpredictable and erratic, anything could happen with her.

She didn't need to say anything to Hotch, he already knew which is why she left so quickly afterwards. She was barley there for ten minutes before being at her car, then driving home.

Once she reached her destination, she got out the car and made her way to the front door. She opened it with her key and walked inside. As she walked through the hallway, she found Vanessa playing with Henry in the living room. She went and sat with them on the floor.

"Can I speak with you? It's important." The blonde spoke softly.

"Sure, let me put Henry in the nursery." Vanessa stood up with him in her arms. She soon left the living room to the nursery, leaving jj waiting till she came back.

Once Henry was down, Vanessa reunited with Jennifer on the couch.

"Where's Cole? I need her too." Jj spoke.

"With Mia. Y'know, I think they might be dating."

Jj completely ignored her, "Look at me. I have something important to tell you. I don't know how you're going to react or Cole but either way, I'm here."

"Ok . . . what's wrong?"

"This morning Miguel was killed by another inmate." She noticed Vanessa was just staring at her so she continued, "That's why I went in today, Hotch informed all of us. I'm so sorry." Jj reached for her hand, "I can't imagine what you're going through right now."

Vanessa wasn't even hearing anything. It was like it went through one ear and out the other. Her initial reaction was Cole. She abruptly stood up.

"We have to tell Cole. She's going to lose it."

Jj stood up, "Slow your roll there, babe. We have to worry about you first." Jennifer walked up to her girlfriend, looking her in the eyes, "Talk to me. How are you feeling?"

"Like Cole's going to lose her shit and I don't know." Vanessa began, "I hated him. I don't know. I kind of figured he would be around for awhile because he's all tough and everything." She exclaimed, "I did not prepare myself for this!"

"And that's ok!" Jj's voice rose as well then quieted down, "If you need to talk, I'm here. Always. This is a free space to cry, to be angry."

Vanessa's voice cracked, "It's one of those times where he deserved it and didn't."

Jj wrapped her arms around her and brought her into a hug. Vanessa wasn't crying but that didn't matter. In times like these, you need someone even if everything was so confusing yet so simple at the same time.

• • •

As eight at night was approaching, Cole was just leaving Mia's house. The two were on the front steps of her house when she was telling Mia she had to head out.

"Ok, I got to go." Cole chuckled as Mia kept her arms around Cole's waist not letting her go because she didn't want her leave yet.

"At least give me a kiss goodbye." Mia pouted, letting go of cole.

Cole grabbed Mia's face, "Fine you simp." She pecked Mia's lips before going on her way back to her house.

She never thought she would be dating her best friend, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Mia was the best thing already but now it's even more fun since their romantically involved. Though she was already missing her girlfriend, she had to worry of the task at hand ——- the sudden emergency.

It was a twenty minute bus ride home and when she walked through the door, everything just seemed still. She cautiously walked in, letting the door close behind. It was very quiet.

"Mom!"

"Living room!" Vanessa yelled back.

Cole made her way there and saw the two adults on the couch. She immediately sensed it was very serious and maybe that made her a little nervous.

"Come sit." Jj patted the spot between her and Vanessa.

Cole went and sat there, "What's up?"

"I don't know how to say this." Vanessa grabbed Cole's hand, "Something happened to your father this morning. He was killed by another inmate."

Cole snorted, "Not surprised. The man deserved it. What he did to us and the life he refused to step back from, I mean can we really say that he actually cared about us?" Cole stood up, "I'm not sorry he's gone. I have no sympathy or love."

Vanessa scoffed, "We both know that's not true."

"Honest. I can't love someone who puts the people I love in harm's way." She crossed her arms over her chest, "If that was it, I'd like to head back to Mia's."

Jj glanced at Vanessa, "Sure."

As Cole began to make her way back to the door, a sudden feeling of forget came upon her. When exiting the apartment, she pulled out her phone and called friends she hasn't hung out with in a while.

• • •

"So what's the occasion?" Ashton walked ahead of his sister and Cole who were carrying some of the goods. Mia was on her way bringing the other half.

"None!" Cole called out, "I just wanted to chill under the sky in open area."

Once they found a good spot, they crashed on the grass. Just as they were getting the paper and weed out, Mia was just approaching the group with snacks and alcohol.

"Sorry for being a little late. Had to grab a few things."

Cole immediately stood up when Mia placed the bags down. She wrapped her arms around Mia's waist in an embrace. As the two pulled away, Mia quickly went in for a quick kiss.

Arlo cleared her throat, reminding the two kissing girls that they weren't the only ones there.

Cole faced the two siblings with her arm still around Mia's waist, "Right, forgot to mention. The simp here is my girlfriend."

Mia playfully rolled her eyes, "And the dwarf here, gets on my nerves sometimes."

With a snap of his fingers, Ashton mentioned, "I like her already." Still seated, he extends his arm, "Seriously though, it's nice seeing you again, Mia."

Soon enough they were all seated on the grass rolling joints, eating, or drinking. They were all just beginning to have a good time under the dark sky and stars. It was safe to say Cole was right where she wanted to be in that moment. She didn't want to be anywhere else.

She just wanted the sky and the amazing feeling that she gets when she's high. The type of feeling where you forget all about your worries.

Little did she know a truck was coming . . .

a/n:
he's dead guys &&
there's only two acts
left.