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BITTERSWEET
:: li. | maybe this time

Jj had quietly entered the apartment. She closed the door behind herself, before leaving her things in the living room. She then headed towards Henry's room to find him peacefully sleeping, which put a light smile on her face. Then she headed to Cole's room and to her surprise, the teen was not there. To her recall, she didn't see Cole on the couch either. Lastly, Jennifer went to her room and after quietly opening the door, she found her girls sound asleep.

She quietly closed the door behind her, before slipping out of her clothes. She put on pajamas, then steadily slipped under the covers with Cole in the middle of her and Vanessa.

However, soon the morning arrived and though it was six in the morning, Cole was the only one awake. She slowly sat up and glanced next to her, seeing jj. A sleepy smile appeared across her lips. Before she tried to scoot out of bed, mumbling was heard.

"You can stay home today. I'll tell your mom."

"Can I stay here?" Cole looked towards jj.

"You're always welcome in the middle . . " Jj spoke in a groggy tone, "Unless Henry doesn't take it first."

With a light smile on her face, cole laid back down and tried to fall back asleep but something was preventing her at first. It was to the point where she sat back up and jj peeked one of her eyes open.

"Want to talk about it?" She ask the teen.

Cole whispered, "It's nearly seven in the morning and you just got back. You're tired."

"Tired or not, if my kid needs help, im awake." Jj began to get out from under the covers, "I'll put on the coffee."

Eventually Cole followed jj out the room and met up with her in the kitchen. The light was on and Jennifer was pulling two mugs out the cabinets as Cole sat at the table.

The teen watched as jj began to pour the coffee and she doesn't know if this thought was sudden or been in the back of her mind for awhile ——- she had to get it out.

"You know, you've been like another parent to me ever since I met you." Her fingers tapped on the table as she waited, "Is that weird?"

Jj was now stirring the creamer in, "Definitely not. You have always been my daughter. If people ask, you were my first born."

"You say that?"

Jennifer placed the spoon in the sink before picking up the mugs, "There's nothing else to say. You're my kid." She soon made her way over and placed the mugs on the table. Jennifer then sat across from Cole, "So what's been going on?"

Cole went right out and said it, "It's Mia. I don't know what to do . . . I think she's scared of looks and stuff because she hates assumptions."

"Because she has two dads and she may think that people will only see her as that? Or because they would think they influenced her preferences?"

"All of the above I think." Cole shrugged, "I'm just spitballing. But it's the only explanation for why she's acting the way she is."

Jj sipped her coffee, "Sounds to me Mia needs time before she can move forward without any regrets."

Cole nodded, "I guess you're right. So space might be good?"

"Maybe." Jj nodded, "But that doesn't mean it's a breakup. Don't y'all go pulling a Rachel and Ross now."

"Never." Cole shook her head, "He used a technicality to justify his cheating. If he truly loved Rachel, he wouldn't have done it in the first place."

"That we can agree on." Jj lightly chuckled as she glanced down to her mug, "Maybe coffee was bad idea. Going back to sleep is going to be hard."

"Maybe for you, but now I got to be somewhere."

"Thought you were staying home?" Jj's brows went up.

"I am, but there's something important first."

Cole glanced at the digital clock on the stove that read seven-thirty in the morning before getting up. She took another gulp of the coffee before pecking jj's cheek, then bolting out the apartment.

She was on her way to see Mia, to see her before she left for school. Since time was quite precious then, she had to rush.

• • •

It was nearly eight in the morning and Vanessa was just now waking up. She looked to the side of her and noticed Cole was gone but jj was there. She watched her girlfriend sleep for a minute or two before wrapping her arms around her. It was a bit difficult, but she managed.

Jj's eyes fluttered open as she sleepily smiled, "Hi, goofball."

"I'm happy you're back, but where's our daughter? School?"

"Not exactly." Jj stayed laying down, "She went to go see Mia."

"Oh ——— I'd ask more questions, but I think you got it handled."

"I always have it handled." A cocky tone escaped her lips.

Soon enough, Henry was awake. He was crying a bit and jj took it upon herself to get out of bed and go see her son. Though sleep was lacking, she didn't mind, she missed him all too much.

Vanessa however, she stayed in bed. It was one of her off days, so she wanted to stay as close to jj as possible. Half a year is a hell a lot of time to be gone and all Vanessa wants to do is make up for that missed time.

After calming Henry, jj returned back to the room and slid back into bed with Vanessa.

Vanessa sat up, leaning her head on the headboard, "What time did you get back?"

Jj thought for a moment, "Around three?"

"Babe —— ! You must be tired. You should sleep."

Jennifer just shrugged, "Maybe I'll go to bed earlier tonight. I had coffee and out there —- there was not much sleep."

"Always on the go?"

Jj nodded, "Yeah."

Vanessa reached for jj's hand, "I'm just glad you're back."

"Me too." Jennifer pulled Vanessa on top, "Cause now we don't have to wait any longer to do this —— " She began kissing Vanessa and just before Vanessa was fully sunk in, she pulled away.

"Henry's in the next room, it'll be weird."

"You're right." The blonde whispers, "But I want to make a baby."

Vanessa's eyes kind of grew wide, "You do know that requires sperm?"

"Yes, which is why I thought a lot about this." She concluded, "I want to have another baby."

Vanessa got off top of jj and sat back down next to her. She was trying to wrap her head around this. Not in a million years did Vanessa think of having another child. Considering, she's dealing with a teenager and Henry practically all the time since jj is on cases —— this'll be all too much. But she had to play at the fantasy just a little bit, so she asked.

"So a little us running around? Who'll be the sperm donor?"

Jj cleared her throat, "I was thinking will?"

"Ok." Vanessa slowly nodded, "And who's carrying?"

That's when jj sat up, "I was thinking you?"

"Me?" Vanessa abruptly turned towards her girlfriend.

Jj shrugged, "You haven't carried in over a decade and it's only fair since I gave birth not too long ago."

"I see your logic. Last question, whose eggs?"

"Guess."

Vanessa bit the inside of her cheek, "Mine, right? I see your logic."

With that said, it gave Vanessa a lot to think about. She wasn't against the idea of having another little one around, but she wasn't fully into yet. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she wants more kids. With Henry, it was already set in stone. He was conceived and born, she had no say about and they weren't together at the time. But now, things have definitely took more of a turn in her life.

• • •

Cole continued to sit on the porch of Mia's house. She rang the doorbell and knocked when she arrived, but there was no answer so she just sat there and began waiting. After about forty minutes, Cole's eyes rose from her feet and met the footsteps of Mia. She recognized her shoes.

"You're not at school?" Cole stood up, meeting Mia halfway.

"Didn't feel like going." Mia was a bit standoffish, "Why are you here?"

"I came to say i understand."

Mia squinted her eyes, "Understand what?"

"All of this. I guess I care so much because our relationship is different now. We're no longer just friends, we're girlfriends and it's worse —- knowing all of that." Cole continued, "Anything can make or break our relationship and I'm not going to let anything have an opportunity to do so."

"I don't want my problems to hurt us either and im sorry for hurting you at the party." Mia walked around Cole to the porch, "It's just lately, there have been rumors or whispers about me. I guess I didn't know how to deal with it, so i distant myself and started acting out."

"Those people suck. And don't listen to them." Cole bent down in front of Mia who was now sitting on the steps to her house, "You're great just the way you are and don't let others tell you different. Alright? I love you and I'm not ready to let this go anytime soon or at all."

It took Mia a few seconds to comprehend, "You love me? Like in a . . ?"

"Romantic way. We're definitely well pass the friend stages." Cole then started to slightly panic, "But if you don't feel the same —- "

Mia interrupted, "Follow me."

Mia got up and opened the door before walking in. Cole followed, closing the door behind her before continuing to follow Mia. The two went up to Mia's room. Cole stood near her bed as Mia began looking through her closet.

A questioning expression surfaced on Cole's face, "Why are we in here?"

"Remember that painting I made for you for your eleventh birthday?"

"Yeah." Cole nodded, "I asked you to keep it here because of the representation. Now that we're way passed that, pretty sure jj wouldn't mind me putting it up somewhere. But what about it?"

Mia pulled the painting out, "I hid something in the back. It was a letter I wrote the day before the party." Mia gave the painting to Cole.

Cole picked up a pencil from Mia's nightstand and stabbed it into the back of the painting, then used it to create a tear. She stuck her hand in and felt around it till she felt something. She then pulled her hand out, along with a folded up piece of paper.

Cole unfolded the letter and began to read it aloud.

"Dear Cole,

        Happy 11th Birthday. I'm really glad we're best friends because i don't think I would be able to survive this stupid world without you. Over ten years of friendship now and I couldn't ask for a better best friend but I've come to realize I hate just calling you my best friend. Lately, you've made me feel feelings that I should probably only be feeling for boys and when I'm around you, I don't know what to do with myself.

          But now it's become way more than that, because I love you has a different meaning. I love you more than just a friend. I love you in a I want to hold your hand, more than just a friend type of way. You'll probably never feel the same, but having you just as my friend isn't enough anymore. Everyday I look at you and my heart just stops because I know you'll never feel the same, but also because of how breathtaking you are.

           Your best friend,
              Mia"

Cole looked up from the paper and stared at her girlfriend, "If you knew since you were —— why'd you date Daniel?"

Mia softly spoke, "He was a hoax and I was ashamed." She pointed to the letter, "I meant every word. I do love you, always have."

A slight smile came across Cole's lips, "I love you too. And not in a friend type of way, in I want to hold your hand in a more than just friend type of way."

Mia lightly chuckled at cole for reciting one of the lines from the letter. She went in for a hug, arms wrapped around her girlfriend, "So we're ok?"

"More than ok." Cole's arms were wrapped around Mia as well.

The two then carried on their day from there at Mia's house. Honestly, it was safe to say, they felt way closer than they did throughout their whole relationship. Cole felt like she knew Mia on a way deeper level, like everything that's under what Mia likes to hide behind and she was happy.

Saying I love you was a big deal for her and she can't imagine saying it in a more than just a friend way to anyone else.

a/n:
wanted to wrap this book
this week, but I took a major
hit because my brother gave me
his cold, so im a bit out of it but
managed to squeeze this out.