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BITTERSWEET
::  ix. | you've literally gone insane

It was early in the morning. Jasmine was feeling quite better and she asked jj if they could keep Miguel at the BAU a little longer just so she could talk with him. She wanted to leave before Cole woke up because if she didn't, there would be questions and Vanessa would be giving the hard answers which she has been avoiding to do lately.

Since she was released from the hospital, Cole been avoiding certain questions and Vanessa has been avoiding certain answers because she knew Cole would end up hating her once she said them. The last thing any parent wants is for their child to hate them.

As soon as she locked the front door, she hurried to the car and got in. She soon began her way to the BAU. As soon as she got there, she parked on the curb and met jj on the sixth floor in the lobby of the BAU. Jj walked her to the interrogation room where Miguel was still being held, courtesy of Vanessa. Once they were outside the room, jj asked for her bag and keys. At first Vanessa wasn't sure of why but she understood it was procedure. After the keys and purse were handed to Jennifer, Vanessa walked into the room.

Vanessa didn't care much to sit. She stood there in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm glad you're ok." Miguel mumbled.

Vanessa scoffed, "Are you? It seemed like the last couple of hours, you didn't give a shit! You were hesitant."

"Really? So I didn't want him to have you as an alternative? He would've done stuff!" Miguel fired back.

"He already has!" Vanessa yelled, "Cole was your responsibility and you put her in danger! You said we wouldn't have to be apart of this anymore, Miguel!" She began to pace, "Now you're going away for drug possession— fucking legal fees. I don't want her to be apart of this."

He spoke softly, "Then let's talk about this as adults."

"You're right." She walked to the table and placed her hands down, "I want a restraining order . . . against you."

"You've literally gone insane." He exclaimed.

"Says the one in hand cuffs." She glances down then back at him, "As for the legal fees, you're on your own on this one. I can't help you." She gave him one last longingly look before opening the door and closing it behind her as she walked out.

Jj handed back her things to Vanessa, then walked her back down to the lobby on the first level. As they approached the exit, jj turned to Vanessa.

"Hey—" Jj placed her hand on Vanessa's arm, "If you and Cole need anything, im just a call away."

Vanessa nodded with a smile, "I know."

"And I'll keep you updated on Miguel for Cole." Jj lastly said.

Vanessa sent her a quick smile before exiting the FBI and heading back to her car to head home. Cole hasn't been to school for the past three days because Vanessa thought they needed some time and she was right.

• • •

Cole was in the kitchen, staring at the coffee while it brewed. She had just woken up not too long ago. Her eyes followed as the coffee dropped down the last bit. That's around the time the front door opened.

Vanessa walked into the kitchen with bags in her hands, "Hey, kid." She placed the bags on the table, "Since when do you drink coffee?" She noticed the coffee pot was filled.

Cole shrugged, "Wanted to try it. See you make it all the time." Cole got a cup out the cabinet then began pouring, "I made enough for two. Want some?"

"Sure, kid." Vanessa began unpacking the bags.

"What'd you get?" Cole went to the fridge to grab the creamer after pouring coffee in another cup for her mom.

"Breakfast." Vanessa replied, finishing taking out the food from the bags. She then pushed the bags to the side and sat in one of the chairs to the table. On her way home from the BAU, she had stopped at some fast food place to grab breakfast for the two of them.

Cole walked over with the two coffees and placed them both down before sitting in front of her mom. Vanessa had gotten Chick-fil-A for breakfast, cole's favorite. They immediately started diving into the food.

As Vanessa ate, the lingering thought of telling Cole about her dad haunted her mind. She knew Cole was a big girl and could handle a few things, but this was different. They had just gotten out of captivity and now Vanessa was bearing more bad news. How much worse can a fifteen year old's life get?

She sighed, tossing the napkin down, "Can we talk about what happened?"

"I don't want to."

"Let's talk about your dad then."

"What about him?" Cole's head perked up.

Vanessa deeply sighed, "The reason of his arrest . . . " She paused for a brief moment, "They found something. Drugs."

Cole so casually asked, "How long?"

"A year." Vanessa was so quick to say.

Cole stuffed a nugget in her mouth, "We're helping him, right?"

"No. Not this time." Vanessa spoke sternly, "He dug himself into this hole so he gets out himself. Also, I requested a restraining order."

"You what!?" Cole stood up, abruptly.

"I need to protect you, Cole! You may not understand it now, but this is the best decision for us." She explained, still seated down.

"You mean for you." Cole mumbled with a shook of her head. She began to exit the kitchen, "You're not going to keep me from seeing my dad. That you will not do." Cole demanded.

As soon as cole left to her room, Vanessa pinched the bridge of her nose and softly cursed to herself. She had never been so frustrated in her life. She had never felt so alone either. She was stuck making these tough decisions, raising a kid who hates her most of the time, she didn't see her life unraveling like this.

Vanessa has overcome so many obstacles in her life and addiction is one of them. That she kept lock shut from Cole. As soon as she found out she was pregnant, she got clean because she wanted to be the best she could be for Cole and now . . ? She felt as if she was the worst mother.

The last thing she wanted was to expose any of this to her or telling her that she couldn't see her dad. She wished she could provide a better life for her but she knew if she was still somehow attached to Miguel, that would never happen.

She realized in that moment that she was officially done with Miguel. No more helping, lending money, or anything like that. Her only focus was Cole, from now and here on.

With that sitting in her mind, she leaned back in the chair and deeply sighed knowing these next couple of weeks are going to be the toughest.

a/n:
see, we getting some
build up .