Chapter 20: A Loving Jötun
I'm sorry for the emotional trauma this chapter Amy or may not cause.
I promise I love y'all!
-Red
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'(Y/N) is finally being let out of the hospital. Thank Father!'
I was cleaning her apartment, well our shared apartment I guess, waiting for her her to finally get home. I wanted everything to be simple and easy for her when she came home. She's been through enough.
"Are you excited to see Kate out of the hospital Loki?" Thor asked amusedly while he sat on the sofa, watching me clean a flower vase.
"No. Why-why would you think that?" I shot back, but stumbled over the words. God damnit.
"You've cleaned that vase three times now. I have a feeling your head is somewhere other than this apartment and cleaning it." Thor pointed out with a smug grin. I scowled, not liking the fact that my brother had called me out.
"I just want things to be easy for her when she gets back. She's still healing and I don't want her to have to worry about the upkeep of this place." My voice was a bit sharper than intended. It gave me away. I knew it. Thor's huge knowing smile was enough to tell me that I had been caught.
"You like her don't you?"
"What?" I spit back.
"You hold feeling for her don't you? You want her as your girlfriend?"
"No! Why in the name if Yggdrasil would you think that?" I defended, even though I knew I was lying through my teeth. I hated denying it. Sure, I had told Steve, and it was nice to get it off my shoulders, but for some reason, I just could not convince myself to confess my feelings to my brother. It was the strangest thing I had ever come across.
"It's okay Loki. I won't tell a soul. Especially not her." Thor continued, not buying my ruse. He stood and patted my shoulder, "I'm happy you've found someone you like. She would be good for you and good to you. (Y/N)s been my best friend for years now, and if there's anyone who would be a perfect match with you, it's her. Believe me."
Thor's little monologue got me thinking. I know I want to be with her, and she would be good for me, but am I good for her? Would she be able to deal with me? What if she knew of my heritage? Would she turn away?
"Fine. Yes, I like her." I caved after persuading myself to tell Thor of my feelings for the winged speedster. "But if you tell anyone, especially her, I will personally gut you." I added on for emphasis.
"Okay. Got it. Won't say a thing." Thor agreed as he moved towards the door.
"I'm going to go make sure she's alright and all that. I might even bring her home. See ya!" Thor called as I went to her room to put the vacuum back.
"Hey there Gary, Rudey." I greeted the two water-dwelling creatures.
They only replied by watching him move about the room with curiosity.
'Damnit Thor.' I mentally cursed as the questions brought up by our conversation seeped back into my mind.
'You're not good enough for her.'
'She's gonna hate you for what you are!'
'She'd never love a monster like you!'
'Who ever heard of a loving Jötun?'
'You wouldn't be enough for her even if she did get together with you! You couldn't even save her from a puny mortal! How are you going to protect her from the thousands of other dangers in this world and others?'
My thoughts were torturing me. I couldn't stop the voices in my head as my skin turned like sapphires and my eyes were rubies. I ran for my room and locked the door once I had slammed it shut. I rushed to my bed and sat there, cradling my head in my hands, telling to voices to shut up.
I yelled out in anger at myself as a blast of freezing energy sent ice all over my room.
'Good going there Frosty the Snowman! You've frozen her books and everything and most likely soaked them! You can't do a single thing right can you?'
I can't deal with them. I let out another cry and laid down on the bed, pulling the frozen covers over myself.
I shut my eyes and tried to think of her kind eyes and sweet voice, but all I could think of was her sadness at seeing what I was and the disappointment in her eyes that I would cause. This made tears fall from my eyes. I hated crying. It was weak and unbecoming, but I couldn't stop myself.
I laid there and cried for I don't know how long before I felt a soft touch on my cold cheek.
My eyes snapped open to see (Y/N) crouched before me; still in my Jötun form. I quickly sat up and evaded my eyes from hers. She still had a few bandages on her arms and legs. It must have hurt. A look of concern was written on her face as her hand drifted down my blue cheek and back to her side. She didn't seem to notice the ice that layered the room. But how would that be possible? Its everywhere. How did she even get in here?
"Loki? Are you okay? What happened? Your skin is blue and your eyes are red!" She exclaimed, which broke my heart. Her wings twitched as she raised her voice. She seemed so worried about me. Why?
"I-This-This is me. This is what I look like." I decided to blatantly come out with it. She would either hate me or, well, hate me.
"Really?" She seemed disbelieving, but then eased her face. I think she could tell that I was distressed. I tensed at her question and in return, she put on a soft and warm smile.
"Never mind about that. Are you okay?" She asked, disregarding the question of disbelief entirely.
I was in too much shock to say anything eloquent. Instead I said the first thing that came to mind.
"I've covered the room in ice. Your books will be soaked."
Gently, she took my freezing hand in her warm palms and held them. I looked at them. I hadn't met her eyes since I saw her.
"They'll be fine. They can dry." She answered with a forgiving voice.
I didn't say anything. I just held her hand and stared at them, wondering how she could bear to hold the hands of a creature like me.
"Hey, buddy, please look at me." (Y/N)'s voice called timidly as she tried to catch my gaze.
I lifted my head and let my bloody eyes bore into her calm (Y/E/C) eyes for the first time.
"I don't care about my books getting wet. I care that you're alright. Do you want to talk about this?" She posed, rubbing a thumb over my hand.
"What is there to talk about? Am I not a repulsive creature to you? Do I not scare you?" I quizzed her.
"No. You're just a bit more interesting now. I'm not scared. You aren't repulsive. You're different, and to me, this different is a good different."
I started to tear up. It wasn't like I could control this. To hear the voice of the woman I love say that she finds me interesting rather than terrible for my heritage fills me with a joy I haven't ever known.
Before I could think about it, I pulled (Y/N) into a tight bear hug and didn't let go for minutes upon minutes.
In return she wrapped her arms and wings around me. Her arms around my neck and her wings around the rest. They were warm against my azure cold arms. She didn't pull away, or look at me, or anything else. She just held me as I held her.
"I love you." I whispered in her ear, letting my arms fall slack, awaiting her answer.
She let her hands fall to rest on my chest, while her wings loosened a little so she could lean back.
She looked surprised, but answered with more fondness and care than I had heard in a long time.
"I love you too."
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top