• disclaimer: trauma recollection •

Elaena's hands writhed together as she made for the library.

Part of her wished to hide from Aemond, knowing she wouldn't be able to keep Sylvia's tale from him. But another part of her needed to tell him, needed to get his reaction.

Alicent's awareness of Aegon's perversions was unsettling enough. Elaena needed to know if Aemond knew as well—

No. No. Aemond cannot stand Aegon, he wouldn't excuse such behavior—But does this disgusting truth contribute to such aversion?

Elaena huffed as she arrived to their library, feeling her stomach knot up in tension.

She was surprised to see the maester's desk unattended, and she couldn't hear the subtle noises of other inhabitants. She peaked through the bookshelves in confusion, and then stiffened at the sound of his voice.

"It's just us today."

She looked forward to see Aemond leaning against the entrance of their space. His expression was serene, a dimple peaking above the corner of his lips as he watched her.

Her heart stuttered at the sight of his lithe form, "Where is everyone?"

"Tis a holiday," He replied, "They're all out in reverence for the Maiden."

Elaena hummed in understanding, feeling blush coat her cheeks as she approached him. The problem at hand burned at the tip of her tongue, but his sweet countenance made her hesitate.

"How was the sept?" He asked, a playful edge to his tone.

"Twas nice, I suppose," She sighed, "Quite an early and long occasion."

He stifled a threatening grin, "I must say, you've impressed me."

She rose an eyebrow in question, and Aemond's lips curled truly.

"I half-expected you to be bedridden." He confessed, and Elaena's eyes widened as his expression turned teasing. She swallowed quickly before dropping her gaze.

"''Twas a grueling task to emerge, I admit." She said timidly, and he gave the breath of a chuckle.

"How did you sleep?" He asked, and she clenched her teeth in irritation.

"Not nearly long enough."

"Mm... And what do you remember?" Aemond's low tone lingered curiously.

Elaena sighed through her nose, meeting his gaze again to see him tilt his head.

"If anything at all?" He teased, and she squinted at him as her cheeks flared brighter.

"I remember some things." She stated snidely, passing his form to enter their cove. He hummed, taking in her defiance with pursed lips.

"Such as?"

She breathed in, reluctantly pushing the pressing matter aside to humor him, "I remember the pub... drinking ale, laughing with the lot of you..."

"Mhm..." He nodded slowly, gazing intently at her while she raked her mind.

"I remember flickers of light, music, common folk..." She droned on, and then she sighed at the memory of the tasteless display of Laenor, "I remember the play..."

Aemond's expression stiffened for a moment, and he lowered his gaze from her and changed his footing against the shelf.

"Mm... You shouldn't have had to see that." He stated seriously, folding his hands before him.

Elaena shrugged indifferently, though her teeth clenched in restraint.

"It was entertaining, I suppose..." She breathed, catching his gaze again with a humorless smile, "The first half, anyway, with her."

He blinked at the sound of her light chuckle, and then her smile froze into something agitated.

"But I do wish they kept my cousin out of it."

"As do I." He said quickly, and her expression softened at the sincerity in his tone.

"I don't recall much after that, I'm afraid..." She said halfheartedly, "A bit of dancing, loud popping, and... I think you carried me?"

"Yes..." He nodded intently, "Anything else?"

Elaena grimaced, hearing the expectation in his voice and knowing she was missing something pivotal. But she kept arriving at blank moments in her memory, and she clenched her teeth as Aemond sighed in acceptance.

"Did I do anything?" She asked immediately upon his solemn expression, "Did I say anything?"

"No," He said in the breath of a chuckle, "No, you were fine."

He didn't diffuse her unease. He could have very well been sugarcoating her conduct to spare her self esteem.

"Aemond—"

"You were." He assured softly, pushing away from the shelf to stand before her, "I brought you back to your rooms, I just... I wish to ensure you were alright after I left."

. . . He's lying. . . Is he?

She breathed out through her nose as she eyed his countenance. His lips curled further as he stared back, not faltering in his assurance. Elaena felt uncertainty linger in her stomach, but she could tell he wouldn't elaborate further.

So she let it go, "Thank you."

Aemond rolled his eye, reaching for her hand and bringing it to his lips. Her heart skipped as he gently kissed her knuckle, holding her gaze in a lighthearted manner.

"Of course." He replied easily, and she lowered her gaze as a shiver crept down her spine.

There he goes again with that... He's so sweet—My Gods, does he even understand how sweet he is—

"What happened?" His voice broke her out of her fluttering thoughts. She looked back up to see him eyeing her wrist, as its tulle sleeve had slipped down her arm.

. . . Oh, shit—

Her eyes widened for a moment as she watched his eye trail over her thin scars, and she instinctively pulled her hand away from his.

He looked after her movement in wonder, and she swallowed down the building lump in her throat. Her heart continued to push it higher with its incessant racing.

Breathe, Elaena. Please, relax. Please. Speak.

She breathed out to compose herself, "Oh, that..."

Good, good. Keep your voice low, keep composure. You're alright, just speak.

"Uh, just old scars from archery." She heard herself say as she carefully fixed the damned sleeve over her skin again, "The bowstring and fletchings have snagged me a few times."

Fold your hands—Not too quickly, don't unnerve him. Relax. You're alright—Fuck—You're fine.

Aemond hummed thoughtfully as she obeyed her thoughts, and Elaena forced herself to meet his gaze again. She knew if she didn't, any suspicions he may have had would surge. But she also knew he read her eyes like no one else.

It was clear he was attempting as much as he looked back into them. Her heart skipped rapidly, and she let a nervous smile etch across her face.

Aemond's eyebrows quirked for a moment, and then he hummed again before reaching for her once more. Her breath hitched as he untethered her fingers to grasp her hand entirely in his.

He knows. He knows you're lying. Relax. Breathe. Look away—Don't. Be calm. He knows—Be calm. Change the subject. Think. Speak.

She calmly blinked away from him, sifting through her inner turmoil to find something else to talk about. Something to push his attention away from her...

And then she remembered her conversation with Sylvia, and her throat ran dry.

Yes. Yes. Ask him. Does he know? Does he know the truth? Ask him.

"I must talk with you about something..." Elaena mumbled finally, trailing her gaze back to his, "Something quite dire, something repulsive."

His eyebrows furrowed slowly in interest, and she felt her heart flutter in success of steering his focus from her.

She swallowed down the nervousness over the topic at hand, keeping Sylvia's sanctity at the forefront of her mind... as well as the wish that her favorite person in the world would help her.

"You know my handmaiden, Sylvia?" She began.

Aemond nodded once with unwavering intrigue, and Elaena felt his thumb rub against her knuckle absentmindedly. It afforded her some comfort to continue.

"Well, she..." She swallowed again for good measure, "She informed me of a most heinous crime against her... I've never known her to lie, in fact she is quite an honorable girl."

"What happened?" He asked immediately, keeping his tone low but unable to mask a certain edge in it.
Elaena blushed at the sound of his readiness.

Unknowing of the problem, but so prepared to take care of it... simply because it bothered her. She sighed in resolve.

"She told me..." She began to lower her tone, regardless of their solitude in the library, "She was defiled... by Aegon."

Aemond's thumb froze against Elaena's knuckle, and his expression turned stony. She allowed his silent reaction to fester in her mind, and when he did not respond, she felt a nervous itch.

"I had stressed concern for Helaena's condition," She started to ramble in a building fear for Sylvia, "After all that drinking we did—I was worried her pregnancy would be affected... Sylvia assured me it wouldn't, as she made several similar attempts on her own babe...

"A still-babe she bore on account of him..."

Aemond's eye trailed away from hers in thought, and she gripped his hand in trepidation. It took little for her to know he was vexed, stoicism be damned. But if ever she had wished to truly know his mind, it was now.

"Aemond..." She called as he gazed out of the window of the Waterlaker cove. His jaw tightened, and his thumb started to lightly tap against the back of her hand.

Elaena's heart all but suffocated her in her suspense.

"She said he has been known for this, for taking maids to bed with or without their consent, I do not think—"

"That was not for your ears." He finally said, and Elaena's words fizzled away. He turned his gaze back to her, maintaining his blank expression.

Her eyebrows quirked in confusion, and she squinted slightly at his countenance before the truth finally settled over her. Aemond was not thrown by this news...

He was familiar with it.

She blinked at him as her anxious fire simmered into something sharper, "Then whose ears are better suited?"

"My mother's," He stated, "As she is the one who handles such matters."

. . . Such matters?

Elaena slid her hand from his, and his eye flutter down to the motion before returning to her gaze. She could feel the stiffening of her face as disbelief boiled in her veins.

"Apparently not," She said lowly, her tone evening out as she eyed him, "Lest Sylvia wishes for dismissal."

Aemond's expression softened in surprise then, and it was clear to Elaena he hadn't expected Sylvia to tell her the whole of her predicament.

"Mm..." He folded his hands before him, looking down at Elaena in hesitation, "Well, she may very well be dismissed once my mother finds out she disclosed such a thing to a lady of the court."

Elaena's heart stopped at the sound of his deliberation. He looked at her patiently, and her teeth clenched as she fought back offense. But a scowl etched across her face from his indifference.

He knows. He knows and sees it as inconsequential. I feel nauseous—Breathe. Stay calm—No. No, not this. Not for this—Breathe—She suffered. She suffered like me, worse than me...

"Well..." She began again lowly, upholding his tone of unconcern, "Seeing as I have sworn to protect her... I suppose she can work with me when I return to Driftmark."

Aemond's head tilted slightly at her words, and he blinked in surprise as he registered them. His blank expression shifted to confusion, and that into concern as she looked at him in disapproval.

"... Driftmark?" He asked after a moment of quiet appraisal.

In her building anger, Elaena felt a spark of confidence. Her lips curled sardonically, and she shrugged to him in nonchalance.

"I wouldn't wish for Sylvia to be without, nor would I wish to stay here knowing such an injustice was done to her." She said in an obvious way, eyeing him in challenge, "Would I?"

Aemond swallowed stiffly before adjusting his footing. His gaze lowered as he breathed in through his nose, and Elaena stood in wait of his answer.

Whether he believed her or not, she was content in the knowledge of being sincere. She would not stay in a place where depravities like the ones she'd endured were overlooked. It was the main reason she had left Driftmark in the first place.

Aemond's jaw clenched tighter as he thought to himself, and Elaena noticed how his hand gripped his wrist just as tightly.

Finally, he let out the breath he'd been holding, "Has she told anyone else?"

Elaena's eyebrows furrowed at his lack of acknowledgment, and he lifted his gaze to meet hers again.

"No."

"How do you know?" He asked right after, and her heart skipped as her fire burned brighter.

"She couldn't even speak when she was first assigned to me..." Elaena nearly sneered, and Aemond blinked away from her again, "It must have been quite the burden to bear, so much so that if she even uttered a word it would have been the truth."

He nodded slightly to himself, reaching up to itch the back of his ear. Elaena was starting to feel hurt by his relaxed demeanor.

"Am I to understand girls are thrown out for seeking retribution for your brother's behavior?" She asked directly, and Aemond kept his gaze low as he swallowed subtly.

"... That would be correct..." He answered carefully, and she felt her heart drop to her stomach, "And it isn't something I agree with—"

She didn't wait for him to finish his statement before moving to leave the cove. Before she could get far, his hand grabbed for her arm.

"Elaena, it isn't right." He stated quickly, and she snatched her arm away from his grasp.

"Of course, it isn't!" She hissed, not caring to keep her voice low and causing him to stiffen, "You know it—the Queen knows it, you all know what he has done to these girls, to Helaena, and you do nothing?!"

She still couldn't wrap her mind around the treachery. Between Sylvia, Helaena, and Aemond himself, she had heard of nothing but debauchery from the eldest prince. And he was protected.

To turn a blind eye to the truth was almost agonizing to her, but not as painful as looking at Aemond and knowing he had done just so.

"It hasn't happened often enough for his actions to go beyond the line of rumor," He rambled out, "But it has been too often for my mother to keep the victims here..."

Elaena's eyes widened at him in ridicule.

"She has restricted him to the best of her abilities, keeping maids out of his service, training them to steer away from his chambers, but her attempts can only conceal his wanton behavior so far..." He explained, lowering his tone the further he spoke.

What the actual fuck—He is one man! One! He is not even the Crown Prince, the King does not even think him. . . Wait—

"Does the King know?" She asked in apprehension.

Aemond let out the breath of a scoff, "The King barely knows what day it is, let alone what most of his children are doing—And lest Aegon violated the likes of Rhaenyra, I doubt much more would be done by our father."

Elaena felt a pinch of relief but a pinch of hurt from his words. The further Aemond spoke, the more exasperated he became.

"People like him are easily excused, Elaena, easily forgiven for the sake of appearances." He said, his eye bright in a certain disdain, "It isn't right, but it is the world we live in."

She hated to admit he was right. Tears continued to threaten her eyes as the truth of his words rang closer to her than he could ever know. No matter how justified she felt in defending Sylvia, she knew the girl's place in society as much as her own.

The way Morgrym had had his way with her so easily. The way Vaemond had belittled her, hit her without recompense. The way Vaemond had simply taken Ophelia...

Elaena swallowed down her building emotion as Aemond stood with sympathy finally playing on his face. But it only worked to aggravate her further.

"I'm sure it is fairly easy to accept as much in your high position as a man..." She said, her voice wavering in tears, "Someone who cannot be so easily tainted with."

Aemond's gaze lowered again, and he sighed as his mind drifted elsewhere.

"... If you makes you feel any better," He said in a strange tone, "I am no stranger to his depravity... I wouldn't say I've experienced the horrors of your handmaiden, but my brother had his hand in my own disgrace."

Elaena's conviction faltered as his facade melted away. A certain timidity, a vulnerability bled from the prince, and she could see the boy in him again.

Concern threatened her defensiveness as Aemond leaned against the bookshelf once more, thoughtlessly popping his knuckles. His eye trailed the ground for a moment before he spoke again.

"Aegon took me into the city when I turned four and ten, twas after you had gone," He started, and Elaena's heart stuttered in building apprehension, "He insisted I get out of the Keep, and I thought it his way of bonding with me, cheering me up after losing my eye... But that was giving him far too much credit."

Aemond kept his gaze down, but she watched as his expression turned into something dark while he recalled the memory.

"He took me to a brothel, in hopes of educating me to be like him... The girl he gave me to vomited at the sight of my scar, she was so repulsed..."

His eye glazed over as he stared off, and Elaena felt tears fully pool into her eyes.

"I was delivered to an older woman instead..." He continued, blinking through his daze but not breaking out of it, "She was... very indifferent to my inexperience... almost as though she was used to the scenario."

. . . No. . . Gods, no—

"She did her job, and that was that..." He finally lifted his gaze a bit, but he did not meet hers, "And then Aegon burst into the room with a few women hanging off of him... and they all cheered for me..."

A tear escaped her eyes, and then another. Her face flushed from the spilling emotion as she stared at him.

"I told my mother, and Aegon simply never took me out again." He finalized, flitting his gaze to hers at last.

He took in her soiled countenance, but his expression did not change. Almost as though he had expected such a reaction from her.

"My brother is a scoundrel," He said softly, almost in a comforting way, "Whoever you saw last night, that was him at his very best... I am not so careless to girls like Sylvia as I am numb to his degeneracy."

Elaena remained silent, feeling her understanding shift at his confession.

"But she can count herself fortunate having a lady like you," He said with a halfhearted smile, one which brightened the looming darkness of his disposition, "So devoted, so willing to protect her."

His tone was edged in a certain awe, and it truly broke Elaena. Before she knew it, she made for him to throw her arms around his torso.

She could feel him stiffen at her eager embrace, but she hugged him deeply as she cried silently into his chest. His scent and heat enveloped her, but she felt protective over him this time. She prayed to the Gods he felt safe with her so close, just as he had always made her feel.

Because for once, she wished they weren't so alike. Just as her, he hadn't been safeguarded. Just as her, he wished someone had been there for him just as she was for Sylvia.

Not you... Not you, as well...

Elaena gripped the leather at his back as she wept. Her favorite person—her best friend—had been hurt the same way she had been.

Tainted. Mottled. Taken advantage of, despite strength, standing, or gender—

"Not me, as well?"

Elaena's breath hitched as she registered his voice. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and then her heart stuttered as she pulled back to look at him.

He looked down at her in the same way, tilting his head in wait of her clarification. And then her heart stopped as she realized she had spoken her thoughts aloud.

... Oh... Oh—Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit—Speak. Talk. Breathe. Explain. Speak, Elaena!

She swallowed as she awkwardly pulled her arms from around him, "Ah, yes..."

Think—Shit. Shit. Please. Speak. Breathe.

"Yes, you... and-and Sylvia," She nodded, swallowing again as her body weakened in fear, "Tis so horrible."

Elaena forced her eyebrows and lips to quirk upwards as she gazed up at him, feigning sympathy as he looked down at her. But his confusion deepened at her attempt.

"What?" He asked in utter bewilderment, and Elaena sighed in self-frustration.

Just shut up, just stop talking.

"Nothing," She breathed, sniffling and lowering her gaze, "Never-mind."

Elaena froze as Aemond carefully grabbed her chin and rose her attention back to him. Her teary eyes widened as he looked over her face, quietly assessing her discomfort while she struggled to hold his gaze.

When his eye dilated down, and his expression softened into a lethal calm, she felt like her heart would leap out of her chest.

"Aemond—"

"Did someone touch you?" He cut her off with a threatening tone.

"No." She answered immediately, flitting her gaze down and leaning away from his hand. Her mind deadened as he watched her, and she had never felt more vulnerable in her life.

"You're lying." He stated, and her heart thumped so heavily she whimpered.

Breathe, Elaena, breathe.

"I am not." She managed, unable to muster a fake smile to cover her tracks. The room was beginning to spin and close in on her, and Aemond's proximity afforded her no relief.

He was quiet for a moment, and she bit into her lip to try to keep her tears at bay. Suddenly, they wouldn't stop.

"... Who touched you?" His tone lowered further, and she clenched her teeth at the steadiness of it.

"No one—"

"Do not lie to me." He ordered, "Tell me. Right now."

Bile threatened her stomach then, and her heart pounded in her head as she fought to think a way out of this.

"No—no one did, I swear it." She almost pleaded as she stepped back from him.

He stepped after her, "Elaena, tell me. Was it Vaemond?"

Her eyes widened at his immediate assumption, and she finally met his violet gaze. She had never seen him so focused, so menacing. Like a snake coiling to strike.

"No!" She stated above her quivering voice, "No, just—Nothing! Nothing h-happened, No one has ever—"

Her words cut off as she choked on a sob, and she stepped back further only for him to follow again.

"Then who?" He pressed, his fists tightening at his sides as he neared her, "Who was it? Did it happen here? Did it happen in Driftmark?"

Elaena could hardly breathe as he cornered her, and she tried desperately to contain her breakdown. But then he grabbed by her arms in a similar desperation.

"Is that why you wish never to return?" He asked, and she huffed out in building frustration.

"Aemond, stop it!" She cried, snatching her arms out of his hold, "Nothing happened! No one touched me!"

Before he could respond, she made for the library entrance. Her breaths rapidly caught up with her as she focused on the door, ignorant of Aemond's advance.

Just before she could reach for the handle, he slid in front of her and blocked her exit.

"Move." She ordered, feeling her heart suffocate her.

"No." He said easily, "Talk to me. Tell me what you mean—Elaena, why would you say that?"

More tears pooled out of her eyes as she pushed at his chest. He ignored her excursions as he stepped toward her again, causing her to step back.

"I don't know, I'm tired, I-I'm thinking of Sylvia—"

"Because she has endured the same offense as you—"

"No, as you!" She shouted in denial, and he squinted at her.

"And I am to believe you were willing to leave again on account of her horrors alone?!" He shouted back.

"Yes, because it is horrible!" She cried, "It is horrible what happened to her, but nothing has happened to me!"

"Then why do you stiffen at my touch?!" He bellowed, and she stood in wordless shock.

Her tears continued to fall, and she felt her expression crack under his pressure.

"Why?!" Aemond demanded, "Even now, I can never touch you without you flinching or being aware of it, either you are scared of me or someone else, tell me the truth!"

Elaena felt herself crumble as she struggled to recall each time he had touched her. Each time she had reacted without realizing. Each time she had encouraged his easy belief in her undoing.

She choked on a sob as failure seeped into her skin, and her mind reeled in disbelief of herself. The dam broken entirely then, her tears spilling like falling pillars.

Run. Hide. Answer him. Run. Lie. Trust him. Pull away. Tell him the truth. Too late now. Don't. Stop. Speak.

Elaena couldn't breathe, only stand in paralyzed fear while he watched.

A myriad of emotions flew across Aemond's face at the sight. Hurt. Anger. Hurt. Concern. Fury. Hurt.

When he took another step towards her, he reached for her trembling hands and she flinched. Her wide sparkly eyes flickered across his form in fear. Fear that he saw her, that it disgusted him.

Fear that he would leave her now.

Fear that it was over.

"Elaena..." His voice was barely a whisper, as though something was choking him as well. Seeing him standing there, his eye wide in shock with strong hands holding hers, Elaena felt like begging him to stay.

She made the mistake of breathing out, and it gave her cry a voice. Stifled by her tears, she couldn't muster a word, and she gripped his doublet instead.

Aemond stiffened as she hid her face in his chest. She held her breath and waited for his pushback, for his revulsion...

But when she felt his hands slowly rest against her back, she neglected her better mind and wailed into him.

He did nothing but hold her shaking form, keeping her flush against him. She thoughtlessly clung to him tighter, expelling breaths like she couldn't let them go fast enough.

Her knees gave out from the release, and he sunk to the ground with her, wrapping his arms around her further as she wept.

She could hear him shushing her softly, rubbing her back and whispering pleas for her to relax. But she couldn't. All she could do was cry and shake and curse herself for being stupid enough to allow him to know.

The fact he even suspected troubled her. Even Rhaenys hadn't voiced such suspicions, if she'd had any...

At the thought of her godmother, Elaena sat up to meet Aemond's worried gaze.

"Don't tell anyone." She said between breaths, and his eye widened, "P-Please, please do-do not tell anyone."

There it was. Aemond stopped rubbing her back as his eye glazed over, and Elaena looked away from him in utter distraught. She deeply wished to hide, to run from his knowing eye, but she was more afraid of not knowing his thoughts.

He was quiet for a moment, and her plea festered between them with her cries being the only sound in the library.

In her peripheral, she saw him take a deep breath before resuming the motion of his hand on her back. She looked to him for clarity on his resolve, and he breathed out before nodding to her.

She was too spent and scared to ask for his promise, but his eye spoke to assurance.

So she quietly accepted his answer, looking away from him again and feeling her body settle under the weight of his hand.

She found comfort in his heavy touch—it lulled her. It was warm and sincere, not at all tainted with aggression or greed.

When she finally stopped shaking, he rested his nose upon her shoulder and spoke to her in softest voice, "When did it happen?"

A grimace spread across her face, and she turned away from him in shame. Tears threatened her again, and he shushed her again as her body shuttered once more.

"Elaena, it's alright, it's alright..." He whispered to her, "You can tell me, darling."

She shut her eyes in reluctance, though she felt herself melt at the sound of his words.

No point in hiding now. It's done.

Elaena sighed in tired defeat, "Be... Before I left—I left Driftmark." She swallowed down the relentless emotion in her chest, "It went on for a year."

Aemond hummed to himself, maintaining his steady touch while taking in her confession.

"Does your father know?" He asked lowly, "Does Rhaenys?"

"No," She said quickly, "But please, please just leave it alone, I'm alright."

His hand stopped again, and he looked up from her shoulder to meet her gaze.

"He's gone now," She went on, keeping her voice to a whisper, "Baela told me he's gone."

Aemond furrowed his eyebrows, "Wait, Baela?"

Elaena nodded, and he blinked out of confusion.

"Baela knows?" He asked gently, though surprise edged in his tone.

Elaena blinked as blush coated her cheeks, and when she nodded again, Aemond's eye flickered around the library in disbelief.

"She knows, and she did not tell Rhaenys?" He asked, his lips threatening to sneer.

Elaena's heart skipped at his patent ridicule, "She promised she wouldn't tell anyone."

He swallowed stiffly before sitting up further, "Alright, Elaena... I need you to tell me."

Her heart started to race as she heard the ominousness in his voice, "Please, Aemond, I beg you, please, do not—"

"I cannot," He shook his head, his voice overlapping hers, "I cannot—I need you to tell me—"

"I won't, will you please stop?!" She chirped, grabbing at his other hand by her legs, "Please... Please, please, allow me to put it behind me."

He stifled at the sound of her cry, letting her grasp his hand desperately in hers.

"I just..." She raked her mind for how to explain it to him.

In truth, she wanted the Monster to be caught, to be punished... But she knew she would have to face him again to do it. And if not him, then the reality that she had kept him a secret from the people she loved the most.

She could practically hear Rhaenys asking her why she had never said something. Why she had allowed it to happen. Why she believed she had deserved it.

Everyone was content, everyone was fine, even her. She didn't wish to ruin it on account of what had happened.

"I'm happy," She finally said, knowing it to be true in her heart, "I've never been this happy in all of my life."

Aemond's fiery gaze softened at her.

"I'm fine, I don't want to go back..." She begged, eyeing his large hand entrapped by her smaller ones, "Please, don't make me go back."

She left the matter at that, too tired to even apologize for her breakdown. She only wished he wouldn't press her further.

Aemond stayed silent, only responding by laying his lips against her covered shoulder. Her heart skipped at the feeling, and she turned to him to see his eye closed and a slight grimace on his face.

After a moment, he let out a breath and pulled away from her, leaving a kiss behind on her shoulder.

"You can tell me in your own time..." He looked at her seriously, "And I will await your call, angel."

A shiver went down her spine as he continued to rub her back. She held his gaze as apprehension and comfort floated in her mind. Would she ever be able to tell him? Would he grow upset with her secrecy?

Or would he truly wait for her?

A tear slipped her eye, and he pulled his hand from hers to wipe it away. The touch was so tender, so gentle, she felt another tear slip. Aemond's expression bled with concern, and his eye flitted to his hand at her back before he lifted it.

Before she could protest, he asked, "Does this trouble you?"

Elaena's eyebrows furrowed in wonder of him, and she shook her head after understanding his question. In truth, she felt more troubled when he wasn't touching her.

His expression softened in relief, and he returned his hand to her. It grew quiet again as she savored his caress, wondering how she'd ever gone without it before.

"Did it affect you this way as well?" Elaena whispered, and his gaze drifted from her back to her eyes, "... You stiffen when I touch you, too."

He blinked at her before his face softened in subtle abashment. She grasped his hand again, and he idled on the connection before responding.

"I suppose so... I don't truly know," He said thoughtfully, "People don't normally touch me."

Elaena's heart stuttered at the revelation, and she whispered, "I'm sorry." He gave the breath of a scoff.

"Don't be," He assured, trailing his nails absentmindedly along her back, "Your touch is most comforting... It calms me."

Elaena blushed away from him, unable to ignore how much she agreed with his sentiment. His touch calmed her vastly, grounding her despite the way her heart skipped each time.

Moments rolled by as they sat by the library entrance, not having anything to say and not expecting anything from one another. If Elaena hadn't been tired before she surely was now, and she felt no inner quarrel as she laid her head against his shoulder.

Aemond didn't stiffen at her closeness, in fact she felt his form loosen further under her. Her eyes fluttered shut as he held her, carefully brushing a hand over her woven twists and keeping the few stray curls out of her face.

Despite her unwavering discontent of the truth being exposed, she couldn't deny how much easier it was to breathe with him. He knew, and he clung to her more than ever before.

A miracle to her.

• • •

Aemond had noticed Elaena dozing and offered to walk her back to her chambers. Naturally, she had felt unnerved by the idea of parting from him so quickly, so he had suggested the Godswood.

His hand hadn't left hers once on their way to the divine tree, and she blushed at its lingering presence as they strolled.

He still wasn't talking though, and his silence was beginning to concern her. So she asked him something she had always wanted to.

"What are you thinking about?"

Aemond's eye drifted down to hers, and she tilted her head inquisitively. He breathed in before sighing in discontent.

"Baela." He answered hesitantly, "Though you wouldn't like to know the things I wish to say to her."

Elaena's heart stuttered in apprehension of his thoughts then, "I told her not to tell anyone."

"And she was foolish enough to listen," He replied bitterly, almost pouting, "I will only heed your wishes because you haven't told me who he is, but she knows."

Elaena breathed in, uncomfortable with the direction of the topic at hand.

It wasn't Baela's fault that it had happened to her, nor did Elaena believe it was her cousin's place to save her. In fact, Elaena felt immensely grateful the lady hadn't spread her situation through Hide Tide's halls.

Unlike how a certain septa had planned before her demise.

"It didn't end well for the last person who knew and planned to tell." Elaena confessed, gripping Aemond's hand as Hyacinth's face flashed across her mind.

He stopped walking, causing Elaena to stop as well, "What can you mean?"

She almost felt like crying again, and she lowered her head as that nagging itch crept up her spine. She was certain Aemond could read her dampening mood as he stepped closer to her.

"Look at me," He said gently, and she lifted her gaze to his, "What happened?"

His thumb traced the back of her hand, gripping back to match her grasp. Elaena took a deep breath before shuttering in regret.

"Do you remember my old septa?" She asked, "She came with us the first time I visited the capital."

Aemond blinked away in thought before meeting her gaze again, "Mm, I recall her to be a ghostly woman with a perpetual scowl."

Elaena couldn't help but chuckle softly at his recollection, remembering how Hyacinth had been quite standoffish to Targaryens in her piousness.

"Indeed she was..." The lady nodded before sighing distantly, "... I once believed that woman hated me... But now I know she was frustrated because I made her job harder... If she hated me, she wouldn't have done what she did..."

Her eyes shut as emotion threatened her throat again, and Aemond's fingers intertwined with hers in wait. She only opened her eyes when she was sure she could keep from crumbling again.

"She knew what he was doing," Elaena confessed lowly, eyeing the leather over Aemond's chest solemnly, "Because she worked so closely with me, she must have sensed something..."

A memory of Hyacinth's eyes on Morgrym flickered across Elaena's mind. She had started to mind him more than the lady's missteps when they'd taught her together, aware of the way he'd spoken to and looked at the girl...

Elaena remembered the way Hyacinth's eyes had widened when he'd spanked her for the first time over some blunder. Harsh, deliberate, and indulgent. The septa had squinted at him as he'd smirked to himself...

But what Elaena remembered most was Hyacinth's face when she'd found her bleeding in Hide Tide's atheneum. The old woman had gone paler than she'd already been, eyeing Elaena's state in piercing horror. Wrists freshly cut, blade held tightly in her grasp.

Hyacinth had struggled to pry the knife out of her hand, and Elaena had been more aware of the septa's attempts than her own state of mind. The old woman had stressed to take her to Morgrym, and Elaena's mind had sparked in desperate refusal.

She had begged Hyacinth not to bring her anywhere near the man, and the septa had agreed almost too quickly. . .

Elaena blinked out of her short daze, blushing as she met Aemond's patient eye. She swallowed down the gory details of her past, focusing on Hyacinth's involvement to keep from disclosing the Monster's identity.

"We had a session one day in the sept," She continued, "And she told me she'd had words with him... And that she would speak to my father and Rhaenys on the next day... That I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore."

That should have been it. That should have been the end... But she shouldn't have tried in the first place...

"... But?" Aemond inquired softly, his eye dilating in a way that made Elaena nervous.

"But... she didn't make it to the next day..." Her voice trailed off as her chest grew heavy. Aemond's face stiffened in disbelief, and Elaena continued through clenched teeth, "She had... a severe allergic reaction at supper..."

Aemond's jaw tightened as his eye flitted away from her.

"When she didn't arrive to the sept, they went to her chambers..." Elaena felt a numbness envelope her, "But she wouldn't wake up."

Aemond responded only with a hum, keeping his gaze away in blank fury.

"... He called it a tragedy, what happened to her..." She continued lowly, "He said he had been worried her critical nature would get her in trouble, that she would eventually offend the wrong person... Especially after she'd accused him of some sin..."

Morgrym had assured Elaena such an accusation would be foolish, that it would have been detrimental for her to follow in Hyacinth's footsteps. Her reputation had been sullied, and Vaemond had been at his wits end with her.

He had made Morgrym her primary tutor after Hyacinth's death, and the maester had made her promise not to cause him any more trouble.

"No one knew what was happening until Baela caught him," She breathed, swallowing stiffly at the fresh memory of her cousin's shock, "And that was just before I returned to King's Landing... He left Driftmark right after me."

Aemond kept his gaze away in an minacious silence. Elaena allowed him to think whatever he wished, but she lost track of how long he went quiet.

When he finally spoke, he looked down to her with a loathsome gaze.

"So he's escaped more crimes than one." He declared, and Elaena sighed numbly.

"As has Aegon, apparently," She countered, and Aemond's expression froze, "Am I to be justified while girls in Sylvia's position are not?"

"I doubt the maggot is as untouchable as my wretched brother," Aemond shot back, and Elaena felt her heart stutter in unease, "And he could be doing the very same things to someone else without restraint, darling."

She went quiet as guilt nipped at her spine. Nausea threatened her at the very thought of uttering his name, though she knew Aemond had a point. Even if Morgrym wouldn't have much luck in the Citadel of men, he was still free.

But at the sight of her sealed lips, Aemond sighed out through his nose. His hand came up to cup her cheek, and she immediately relaxed from her conflicting thoughts.

"I will accept your wish for peace," He whispered, gaining her attention again, "It isn't your job to right his wretched wrongs, but I want you to know... you needn't speak a word."

Her eyes widened as his tone lowered in seriousness.

"Should the moment arise, you may simply point him out." He swore, "Alright?"

Elaena's face softened at his declaration, but she chuckled humorlessly.

"I'd sooner see my mother again than him," She jested somberly, "And even then, it would be too soon."

Aemond grunted through his pout, releasing her face to grasp her hand again.

They continued to stroll in silence, and Elaena felt a bit more content with his headspace. As they neared the flourishing Godswood tree, she felt her mood brighten further from its beauty.

So captivated by the pale wood's bright red leaves, she let her hand slip from his to approach the bark herself. She eyed the face embedded in the trunk, not noticing Aemond's lingering attention on her.

"Could I ask you something?" He asked, and she rose an eyebrow mindlessly.

"You just did."

Aemond sucked his teeth, and she chuckled genuinely at the sound before looking back at him.

"Juvenile." He said bluntly, rolling his eye at her and making her smile further.

"Go on then." She entertained, turning to him entirely with growing intrigue.

His eye lowered to the ground, and he licked his lips before proceeding, "... You don't have to answer if you do not wish to..."

Her eyebrows furrowed at his hesitation, and when he met her gaze again, she nodded for him to continue.

"... What do you know of your mother?" He asked softly, biting the inside of his lip as she registered the question.

My mother?. . . Hm...

Elaena lowered her gaze in surprise, but her body felt at ease from his gentle curiosity, "Very little, other than the face she gave me..."

Aemond's eyebrows raised, "She was beautiful then."

Her eyes widened at the ease of his statement, and blush coated her cheeks at his conviction.

It was strange: hearing something for the hundredth time, but feeling different because a certain someone said it. She could tell by the creeping smirk in Aemond's face that he noticed her reaction.

"Quite..." She breathed bashfully, and he hummed knowingly.

"And you've been told nothing of her temperament?" He inquired further, and she sighed in puzzlement.

"My godmother told me how kind she seemed to be..." She shrugged, "Aside from a general meloncholy."

Aemond nodded, and his expression dampened, "... I cannot imagine such an upbringing, such confusion."

Tell me about it.

Elaena pouted halfheartedly, "Tis quite jarring... How someone can all but disappear, as though they were never alive to begin with."

"Did she speak to no one else in High Tide?"
He asked with a tilt of his head, "Is there not a soul working there who she grew close to beside your father?"

No one still alive...

"She was very close to Lady Laena..." Elaena sighed, "Before I was born and she moved to Pentos with Daemon..."

"Really?" He breathed, and Elaena nodded to him.

"My godmother said Laena understood her in a way no one else did," She regaled, "Even Rhaenys can only recall a few moments with her, and even less where she actually spoke... She was not adept with Common Tongue."

Aemond's eyebrows furrowed at this, but he listened intently as Elaena continued.

"As for my father..." She trailed off for a moment as an irritation bubbled in her chest, "... She wasn't exactly close to him."

"... And yet he married her," Aemond thought aloud, "Why?"

Elaena shut her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling her agitation fester the further she thought of her father.

"I don't mean to pry—"

"No, Aemond, tis..." She huffed out before opening her eyes to see his confused form, "I do not understand it myself... And the rumors..."

She scoffed cynically as she changed footing, shaking her head at some of the things she'd heard about her mother.

"They are either mockingly different or nearly identical to one another," She explained, disgruntled, "But they are always imprecise. I only believe what Rhaenys has told me."

Aemond stepped closer to her in interest, folding his arms behind himself as he took in her annoyed expression.

"And what was that, if you don't mind my asking?"

Elaena smiled softly at him, relaxing her tense expression to welcome him, "I don't."

And she truly didn't. Before he'd learned the horrid truth about her, she might have been embarrassed to discuss her mother's record. But now she trusted him more than anyone, for he'd heard the truth and stayed with her still.

"She told me what Corlys told her," She said, "Vaemond found my mother as a slave in the Stepstones... Perhaps she'd been captured or sold from the Dornish coast, but he was so besotted by her that he could not leave her behind in the fighting...

"I'm of the notion she hated Driftmark though, that it was not at all her desire to go with him."
Elaena scowled slightly as she voiced the belief, "She wanted to go back home, wherever that may have been."

Aemond's eye trailed over her face, almost looking for some hidden answer her words didn't unmask.

"I still don't understand it." He said in slight frustration, and her lips quirked as she was all too familiar with the feeling.

"Perhaps it is not to be understood." She shrugged, knowing she had settled with the knowledge over time. Aemond was not so easily convinced.

"But why would the Sea Snake allow it?" He asked with a conflicted expression, "Why would he allow his brother to marry her?"

Elaena understood his cause for concern. It was outrageously peculiar that Corlys had allowed his highborn brother to marry a lost slave girl, one who had not known their language and descended from enemies of the Conqueror.

But Corlys had never been known for conventionalism.

"Rhaenys told me he felt immense guilt for what happened to Vaemond." Elaena's eyes dulled as she recalled the tragedy which had befallen her father, "My brothers... His sons were lost in battle on Prince Daemon's orders... Just a few years before that, their mother passed from a sudden fever... He'd lost everything."

Aemond expression melted in understanding, "I forgot he'd fathered sons."

Elaena nodded, "When my uncle saw how eager Vaemond was to marry my mother, he couldn't bring himself to deny him..."

Her words should have brought her great joy, even pride in the knowledge of how her parents had united. But all she felt was bitterness, regret, disgust.

"He did not love her though," She nodded to herself, her scowl deepening in disdain she wished she didn't feel, "I understood that even as a child."

Aemond's gaze lingered on her, his expression blank but soft as she ranted.

"Perhaps his actions were borne from loneliness? Lust? Entitlement?" She scoffed, biting into the inside of her cheek as her mother's face sent her into a daze, "... All of that eagerness, perhaps a belief that their union would grant her freedom... Just to lock my mother up at High Tide until she bore him more sons...

"And by some stroke of luck, some heinous act of the Gods... I was all she could give him."

A snide smirk etched across her face, and she stood in frozen contempt for her circumstance. She barely registered Aemond's approach, only blinking out of her trance when his hand grasped hers.

"No..." He said softly, his expression contrasting hers in untypical compassion, "No, it was by the purest mercy he was blessed with you."

His eye trailed over her face in such tenderness, and she felt her mood shift again.

"I only hate that... I could not have the honor of thanking your mother for granting all of us this blessing." He said slowly, letting each word sink into her skin and permeate her mind.

Elaena's heart skipped as she blushed at him, fondness all but suffocating her heart. Her thoughts fluttered as she took in his face, eyeing his parted lips for a moment...

And then her breath hitched as a new memory sparked in her mind.

One of them from the previous night. When she remembered the hasty feel of his lips on hers, her eyes widened, and she quickly turned away from him.

Elaena gawked at the Godswood in utter shock, suddenly unable to forget the small moment of his kiss. She struggled to recall the exact feeling of his lips, only the warmth of his breath and his muffled surprise of her actions.

Oh... my Gods—That's what he wished to know. That's what he wondered if I remembered—Oh, my Gods—

"Elaena?" His voice remained in its sweet concern, and she let out a shutter but refrained from turning back to him.

Ignore it. Ignore it now. You were drunk, you shouldn't have done it. Speak, do not be strange, speak.

"My, the Godswood is beautiful today." She breathed, flitting her wide gaze along the pale bark.

His ensuing silence left her thoughts in uproar, but she held her gaze on the crying tree. Even when she felt his thumb gingerly rub against her knuckle, she inspected the Godswood leaves intently. Desperate to banish the memory that would ruin her.

"Yes, it is." She heard him mumble, but even the sound of his low tone couldn't make her muster the courage to face him.

———

My poor baby El. I know it took a lot of courage, honeydew, but mama is working on your happy ending as we speak 😩

This chapter was notably hard to write because of Aemond's trauma, too. I love writing him though, like this must be what Ewan felt like when getting into his head and understanding what makes him tick. It just hurts knowing he doesn't have someone like Elaena to really engage with or feel heard by or feel trusted by.

Thoughts on their convo about Ophelia? Mannn ELAENA OPEN YOUR EYES, BABES! THE TRUTH IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU 😔

No worries... things should be well and cleared up in the next chapter 😈😈😈

See y'all then 😘