𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞-𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗
a golden death

✦

          "HARRY POTTER IS at Hogwarts."

From when Harry Potter was allegedly sighted at the Malfoy Manor – though his existence was denied by Draco who claimed that he could not tell – and his escape, everyone had been on edge. Demetri with even darker eyes, a short temper, unable to look in her direction, and the way Clarissa Holloway's own seemed to trail after Amara on the occasions on which they brushed paths.

Bellatrix had cackled, Alfred stone cold with a little hint of glee when she turned from him quickly, the scar on his face still haunting her dreams. Everyone looked upon her, waiting to see her every move, the little dances of jitters of her hands, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear way too much. They were staring at her, and she could only assume that they all knew her days were coming to an end.

"He used to call me a golden girl," she had muttered one night, sipping a cigarette she had stolen on one of her few trips out of the house, turning towards Draco's ghastly face, "Can you believe it? I was golden."

She smiled, and laughter bubbled in her throat, but tears prickled in her eyes. He watched it all, as he always did, knowing exactly about how Demetri transformed his phrasing from golden to valiant diamond to just now Amara.

Perhaps, in a way, he still viewed her as a golden girl – his valiant diamond. Because surely Amara Carrow would not run away from her death, instead taking it and allowing the Dark Lord to continue his mission towards ultimate power. She would sacrifice her life for him, because that's what valiant diamonds do.

That's what he was doing. Demetri never hesitated before agreeing to the death of his daughter. What must be done, he had uttered, and now his cold eyes always trailed her. Nothing in them suggested a hint of remorse, or a sadness that he still claimed her as a daughter knowing that one day he was going to allow her to die. For the greater good.

"You're always golden," Draco had whispered back, snatching the cigarette and taking it for himself. His knees were tucked into his chest, and she gave him a small look of pity seem his gaunt features before her emotions mellowed again. There was no time for pity. "To me, at least."

She laughed again, because nothing in her character suggested a hint of gold. She was beaten and grey, purple under her eyes – death in them. Draco was the one with a chance at life.

"I couldn't possibly be golden. Maybe I was before, but I can't be anymore. Can't even die a golden girl," she smiled, widely, juxtaposing the very sadness she felt creeping inside her, "But you – you have a chance. Maybe one day you can be golden."

His eyes studied her, drinking her in for a moment, pondering this possibility that one day he could be golden. "I've never had that opportunity, I don't think I will now," he decided. She shrugged, not refuting or agreeing with that fact, because it would change nothing.

She was still going to die, and he was still going to live. She was still a murderer, that fate had still escaped him, as she hoped it forever would. His cold hands reached for her own, and again she was plagued with the thought of how, in another world, this could've been something more.

Maybe she could've kissed him and lit up, maybe she could've loved him, but now there was this hollowness between them. All she felt was cold, and dead, or close to it. They tried, nothing happened. They existed close to each other because they needed to trust each other, and nothing else happened.

Still, she leaned in placed a chapped kiss on his lips, because it made her feel better for a second. It was cold, and unfulfilling, and ultimately she regretted it a little, but not too much. She was practically a dead girl walking, she could kiss who she wanted.

But that was months ago now, and Draco was holed up in the Malfoy Manor, shunned coldly for not identifying Harry Potter correctly and not keeping his captive. She thought, for a moment, that this was his golden nature shining through, but she also wasn't sure it existed in the first place.

Maybe they weren't meant to be golden.

And now, Demetri turned the corner into the dining room where she saw, strong shoulders held highly, as he uttered those words: "Harry Potter is at Hogwarts."

She couldn't help but be stunned. Blinking at him, unmoving, until asking, "Is it certain?"

"You dare question me?" he sharply inquired, and she reeled back before shaking her head.

"Of course not, father," she whispered, enunciating enough to where he would not ridicule her. He didn't like it when she slurred her words.

"Prepare yourself. The final battle is to commence, and Harry Potter shall die," his eyes cast upon her, in a way as if he was hiding something she did not know, but no regret, and then he turned and walked away.

She sat there for another moment, dread pooling her stomach, knowing exactly what was to happen next.

✦

Teddy, if you asked Leo, was an adorable baby. Only an infant, with chubby cheeks and glistening eyes, he sparkled as if the stars were sprung inside him, and Leo felt this unimaginable joy that had escaped him for months.

Tonks and Remus looked light, happier and bubbly as well, proud eyes as they looked at their son. He was perfect to them, and Leo had to agree with that statement. The way he sparkled, a little starling, he was utterly perfect.

Friday nights, always family dinners, were them gathered together and Leo was always filled with happiness. He had escaped them for so long, unable to drag himself out of his pit, and now he regretted it. His coldness, his death, the pain leaving him in his room and away from everyone else, made him shudder.

Why had he run from this? Calypso sitting beside him, playing with her younger brother, laughing from the kitchen, a little wine to ease everyone's nerves. The sense of family and belonging, the warmth that radiated, the love. This was everything he could ever ask for, and yet he ignored it for too long.

He wouldn't ignore it anymore. Calypso's own starry eyes twinkling at him, holding Teddy's small hand, the fire warming them. Everything about the scene made him feel safe, and he wanted to stay here forever, never ending.

It didn't have to end, did it? Couldn't it stay like this forever? Nadia wrapping her arms around him from the back of the couch, Sirius cautious but involving himself in Leo's life, Remus and Tonks holding hands and watching Teddy. Calypso, here beside him, the radio droning on.

He closed his eyes, letting it all flow through him, and he vowed to remember this forever. This perfect moment, this grounding moment, and he would always return to it. This didn't have to end.

He felt Teddy tug at his hair, and unconsciously he smiled, but he didn't open his eyes yet. He just enjoyed this feeling. This moment. Even though Teddy tugged a little too hard, and pain ran from his scalp, he didn't move to stop Teddy, instead just letting it happen. This pain was only temporary, and it was real. It was actually happening.

"River, DA calling. Do you read?"

The voice from Potterwatch changed from normal to panic, but he didn't even realize it for a second. He was so caught up that he didn't realize that it was all ending, and coming to a horrible close. Regulus immediately noticed, the first to spring and yell, "Shush! Listen!"

Leo frowned, opening his eyes and forcing Teddy's hand from his hair, looking to Regulus who had a panicked expression.

"We have a weather report: lightening has struck. I repeat, lightening has struck..."

Potterwatch never covered the weather, it was always report about the ongoing war, the new dead, never weather. It was his second clue that something was wrong, though he didn't grasp it as well as the others, who immediately caught on.

"Shit," Nadia breathed out, and he blinked. It wasn't often he heard his mother swear, "We have to go. It's...it's time."

There was a sense of resignation but also urgency in her voice, and Leo felt his heart drop. No. It couldn't mean this. It wasn't time – not tonight. It couldn't be tonight.

"Teddy," Calypso looked down at her younger brother, fearful and hesitant.

"I'll stay with him," Tonks easily said, moving over to take Teddy into her arms, "And – and I'll have Leo with me, yeah?"

Eyes turned to him, and without hesitation he nodded. "Yeah," he agreed, because what else could he do? It wasn't like he could go fighting with them, he had to stay behind and they had to go and risk their lives.

They were fighting, and he was staying behind with Teddy and Tonks. Calypso held him tightly, and Leo squeezed her back, and then did the same with everyone else. He might not know everything about the state of the wizarding world, but he knew more than enough to know that this could be their final night alive.

Though he hated to think about it, he couldn't live in a dream world where everything would be okay because he had no idea if that was actually going to happen.

While Leo preoccupied with Teddy, taking the boy back from his mother, Tonks paced around the room. Potterwatch had ended, so she had no way of knowing what was going on, utterly alone and driving herself mad with worry.

"I can't stay here," Tonks announced after a while of pacing, wide eyes turned to Leo.

"Then you should go," he said, "Teddy will be okay with me. I'll make sure of it."

She hesitated, even though she had made her previous statement in full confidence. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I can't go and fight, I would be useless, but you can. So I'll watch Teddy."

Tonks looked at him, weighing her options before nodding. She rushed over to Teddy, holding him with teary eyes for just another moment. "I'll – I'll be back before you even know it," she whispered to her son, and Leo turned away to give them extra privacy, "I love you so much, Teddy, I don't want you to ever doubt that."

When Tonks gave a shaky breath, Leo turned back, and she hesitantly handed her son back to him. She opened her mouth to say something, but by the tears in her eyes and the sadness swelling, he knew that she couldn't find the right words. So, instead of coming up with something that wasn't right, she said nothing, and gave him a watery smile before disappearing right before his eyes.

Leo closed his eyes again, taking a moment, and then smiling at Teddy again. Though worry wracked his bones, he made an attempt to hide this from the infant, and instead distract the boy as he tried to distract himself.

✦

It was dangerous for her to disobey her father, but she did it anyway. It was her final night alive, her last hoorah before death took her with open arms and she faded away forever. This was her last chance to say anything to her family, her last chance to convey to them her everlasting love.

It was her last chance to be Maia before being consumed by the cold death that awaited her when she reached Hogwarts. She only had this one chance, so she crept around her old home on Harrowing Street up to Leo's room.

A part of her was sad and disappointed to find the entire house empty, still and quiet with no movement and no sign of life, but she knew that it was for the best. They could not be welcoming to her appearance, and she didn't have much time to spare before she had to be ready.

Her hands trembled as they carried an envelope containing a letter for her dear brother, and they shook when she placed it on his desk, where he would surely find it the next day or the one after that when she was gone. Whether or not he would open it, she didn't know, but she desperately wished he would.

She needed to have this one last word with them, her one last love, and for a moment she stood in his room. A place was so familiar with, but felt like a stranger's room at the same time. But she was a stranger to this house now, it had not been her home for some months now, almost a year, and she was a much different person from the last time she had come here.

Tears clouded her eyes and sobs clawed at her throat, but she dared not let either escape. There was no time for these things, she only had time to leave and go to Hogwarts, where she would face people who she once called classmates before her tragically youthful life came to an end.

It was time.

She couldn't fight the truth any longer or preserve her life for another moment. She had placed her letter on Leo's desk, and he would surely see it and hopefully read it, and now it was time for her to face her destiny.

Hand on the wooden desk, and closed her eyes, and in the next moment she stared at Hogwarts, crumbling only a little, with a mix of Death Eaters and fighters alike. Her eyes turned between the people, and she could see Lee Jordan, Emilia – her dear Emilia, and other students she once shared classes with.

She ran until she found an empty corridor, her wand out just in case, because she had to die by the hands of one person and one person only, she thought of how little time she had. Part of her wanted to race towards Emilia, or try and find a family member who had surely come to fight, but she shook her head. No, they wouldn't accept her final goodbye...

...but Draco would.

She ran around the castle trying to find him, her final friend, until her hair was messy and in her face, and her heart was beating too fast and she needed to slow down before eventually her eyes laid upon him. A suit, disheveled hair, and unhappy eyes.

"Draco!" she called out, and his eyes widened a bit when he saw her. 'I don't have much time."

"Then run. Apparate and run," he urged, as he had done plenty of times before.

She gave him a small smile, watery eyes again. "I can't," but really she was sure that it wasn't a matter of whether or not she was able to, but a matter of that she wouldn't. What did she have to live her? Her life had been ruined completely and the thought of a youthful and tragic death seemed almost like a gateway to heaven.

It wouldn't be so bad, being dead, would it? It would be quick, and hopefully painless, and she would be numb. Nothing else could hurt her. And she was so terribly tired. For years now she had carried around this weight of what she had become, and now she carried the guilt for her actions she had to take.

She didn't know how much more she could handle with living. Her eyes were dead, maybe it was time for the rest of her body to join.

"I'm too tired to fight," she told him in a tone of exhaustion, "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight. Please, for me, be golden."

He opened his mouth, but she closed it with a final kiss, because she didn't want to argue with him. When they pulled apart, he didn't continue his thought, and instead nodded.

"I'll be golden," he promised, and she gave him a final smile. It was the end of an era; hers.

It was time for her to go, so she turned away from it, and began to walk the ways, waiting until she heard a whisper in her ear. Meet me in the boat house. It was the hissing voice of the Dark Lord, and she closed her eyes. He was calling for her to die, it was now time, so she nodded to nothing but the air, and made her way to it.

He was there, waiting for her, Nagini by his side. "You called for me," she mentioned, though it was unnecessary and they both knew it.

He barely looked at her, eyes trained on the wand in his hand. "I have an extraordinary wand matched with my own extraordinary capabilities, yet it resists me. Do you know why?"

She could lie, feign innocence, but what would it do for her? It wouldn't buy her any time, it wouldn't spare her, it would just be one last lie before her death. It didn't matter.

So, instead she nodded. "Yes."

"You've heard the tales as well, then? The wand – it does not truly answer to me, its loyalties lie somewhere else," he circled her, like a predator with its prey, "However, I need them to lie with me."

"I understand," she said, though she knew it didn't matter either way. Whether she understood or not, she was still going to die, and saying this wasn't going to ease his nonexistent guilt.

"Yes. The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Amara, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. Ollivander was quite explicit about that. You killed Dumbledore, Amara. While you live, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine," he said.

He paused, and she felt tempted to say something, plead her case, but there was not point. She was already here, and here she would stay forever.

"You have been a good and faithful servant, Amara," he told her, as if that was supposed to make any of this better. "But only I can live forever..."

He flicked his wand. "Avada Kadavra!"