"Jesus fucking christ!"

"It's quite something, isn't it?" Luna marvelled as we looked up at the freaking palace before us. "Although, I'm sensing quite a lot of Wrackspurts. It's a shame I lost my Spectrespecs, they would be really useful right now."

I tried not to mutter something sarcastic as I took in our surroundings. No wonder Draco wanted to marry this Bambi; this place made Malfoy Manor look like a cheap little rundown shack.

"Ronnie, darling!" The massive doors flew open and there was Bambi herself, bounding down the steps towards us.

"Brace yourself," I muttered warningly under my breath.

"Oh, it's simply marvellous to see you again," Bambi cried delightedly as she threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "I was just telling Daddy all about you and how you've saved my life!"

She was greeting me like a long lost best friend - not someone whom she had met for the first time just the previous fucking day.

"Oh, were you at the battle of Hogwarts too?" Luna asked, smiling serenely up her.

Bambi let go of me and blinked confusedly at Luna as though she had only just registered her presence.

"What a fascinating necklace!" Bambi breathed in awe, staring at the ring of Butterbeer corks around Luna's neck. "You must show Mummy! She simply adores funny little knick knacks like this. Drives Daddy absolutely potty. He'll spend a small fortune on sparkling jewels and she'll come out wearing items that she found on a bric a brac stall. Can you imagine?! Oh, how it makes us giggle!"

"Oh, it's not for decoration," Luna said in an ethereal voice, a completely solemn expression on her face. "I wear it to keep the Nargles away."

I closed my eyes in disdain. I made a mental note to keep Luna away from potential future clients.

"Nargles? I can't say I've ever heard of them. How extraordinary!" Bambi gushed, sounding genuinely fascinated.

For fuck's sake, I was surrounded by fucking weirdos.

"Anyway, come in! Come in!" Bambi continued, linking both our arms as she guided us up the steps towards the front door. "Too early for a little drinkie-poo? Probably. I'll get Jeeves to pop the kettle on. Perhaps we can take tea in the Aviary garden? It's simply wonderful at this time of year. And you must tell me all about these delightful Nargles. I'm Bambi by the way, and you must be Luna? Ronnie told me so much about you!"

The girl did not shut up. Try as I might, I just couldn't imagine Draco being with her.

But then again, there was only one person I liked to imagine Draco being with.

She dragged us through to see the kitchen first, which was, as I expected, fucking massive.

"You will be quite all right in here?" She asked, frowning. "Not too cramped, I hope? I'm not sure what size kitchen you're used to working in, but hopefully this will do."

Was she taking the fucking piss? I thought about our pathetic little kitchen behind the office where it took only two people to make it crowded. You could fit a small country in this one and still have room to do the Hokey fucking Cokey.

"It's a pity about the Wrackspurts," Luna said, before I could stop her, "but I'm sure we will manage."

"Wrackspurts?" Bambi asked, bewilderedly looking around the pristine kitchen. "Will I need to call someone in?"

"Only the fucking quacks," I muttered.

Half an hour later, we were sat out in what Bambi called the Aviary garden, sipping Earl Grey tea. I tried not to spit it out in disgust. Still - at least it was better than that crap Luna kept attempting to brew up in the office.

"So how did you and Draco Malfoy meet?" Luna asked, buttering a scone. "I do love a good romance!"

My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I did not want to hear about how their eyes met across the room and how they both knew it was love at first fucking sight.

Fucking Luna.

"Oh, just family connections," Bambi shrugged nonchalantly as she stirred in yet another sugar cube into her tea, "a frightful bore of a story I'm afraid."

The doorbell suddenly chimed.

"Oh! That will be him, now!" Bambi trilled, letting the tea spoon clatter to the table as jumped to her feet. "I almost forgot; he usually pops by on a Tuesday. I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you!"

Panic tore at me as she hurriedly skipped off back towards the Manor, presumably to go and fetch him.

I wasn't ready to see him. I didn't even know if he knew that I was catering for his fucking engagement party.

I quickly stood up, looking frantically around as if I could find an escape route. But there was no way I could run off without looking extremely unprofessional.

"Are you all right, Ronnie?" Luna asked, frowning up at me. "Those Wrackspurts haven't gotten to you, have they?"

Approaching footsteps crunched on the gravel as Bambi's excited voice tinkled in the air. "...old friends of yours from Hogwarts, apparently. They are simply darlings!"

"Luna, I've got to go," I gasped, my heart racing a million beats per second. "Tell them I've been called to an emergency or something."

And before she could say anything, I turned on the spot and Disapparated the fuck out of there.

I could barely breathe when I arrived back in the office.

I sat shakily down at my desk, panting furiously whilst I waited for my heart to return to its normal rate.

What had I been thinking agreeing to this? I was a complete fucking idiot to think that I could look Draco in the eye and talk about what food I was going to prepare for his engagement party and eventual wedding.

I closed my eyes in horror; and I'd just made it a million times worse by disappearing like that.

*****

A loud 'crack' sounded in the air just as Draco followed Bambi into the Aviary garden.

"Oh!" Bambi exclaimed, halting suddenly in her tracks so that Draco accidentally walked into her once again, "where did she go?"

Draco, crossly rubbing his shoulder, looked up to see the Loony girl sitting alone at the garden table, eyes blinking wildly up at them.

This was the fucking caterer? What the hell had Bambi been thinking? He dreaded to think of what menus this lunatic had come up with.

"Ummm," Loony hummed as she twirled a lock of long blond hair around her finger, "there was a family emergency."

"Oh no, poor darling," Bambi breathed, splaying a hand dramatically over her chest. "Whatever has happened?"

"Sick... house elf."

"Oh, how - um... gallant." Bambi answered bewilderedly. "Nothing serious I hope?"

"Foot rot. They say he's only got five weeks to live. I'm sure it's nothing that bathing in a wooden tub of Dirigible plum juice whilst ingesting a stiff infusion of Gurdyroots at midnight wouldn't cure though."

Absolutely fucking barking.

"Will she be still okay to do the food?" Bambi asked, and Draco detected a panicked edge to her voice.

"It's okay, we can find someone else." Draco said quickly, thanking Merlin that they might be saved from this circus. "I'm sure there are other-"

"Oh, we will be there don't worry," Loony smiled dreamily. "I know she has her heart set on this."

Bambi breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank Merlin, because as soon as I met her I just knew we were kindred spirits. I couldn't imagine having anyone else catering at my party."

"I'll tell her you said that Miss Peverell." Loony said, standing up as she gathered the paperwork in front of her. "Anyway, I really ought to get going, I just remembered I promised to prepare some freshwater plimpy soup for the garden gnomes."

"Oh, okay," Bambi said, her body sagging in disappointment as she stepped over to give her a hug. "It was truly delightful to meet you Luna. Such a shame you and Ronnie couldn't stay to get reacquainted with Draco."

Draco looked up with a start, his heart pounding. He could have sworn Bambi just said Ronnie.

"Nice to see you again, Draco." Loony said in unnaturally strained tones.

He gave a quick, curt nod before she disappeared in front of their eyes.

"Such a shame," Bambi sighed sadly, before turning on the spot and heading back towards the Manor. "I'll tell Daddy you're here," she called back over her shoulder. "I expect he has more paperwork for you to go over."

He was about to follow her and ask about the missing caterer, when he spied something out of the corner of his eye. A rectangular white business card lay on the ground where Loony had just Disapparated. It must have dropped out of her paperwork. His heart hammering, he bent down to pick it up.

Ron Appetit: here for all your catering needs.
For more information, contact
Miss Ronnie Weasley
0201-666-1234

He heard the sound of his own gasp as his stomach gave a sudden, violent twist; lights flashed before his eyes and he felt that familiar gnawing in his chest.

She had been here.

His Ronnie.

*****