[True Love]

It was when I saw the light leave their eyes that my decision was made. For so long, I had taken advantage of what I had loved, what I had cared for, and it had just been taken away from me, in a span of only a few seconds. Years of building relationships, gone.

And now, since things have changed, I'm not wasting my time on it again. The relationships I've made are strained, and I barely speak to anyone anymore. I sit alone at dinner, glaring at anyone that dares to stare at me, not eating anything.

I don't deserve any of it. I deserve to be dead, just like the rest of my family. Just like the rest of Thomas' family. Just like Thomas.

"Rachel, are you listening?" A sharp voice cut through my thoughts, and I shook my head slightly to clear my mind.

"Sorry, yeah. What do you have planned?" It was hard to keep focus on anything these days, which made Draco's and Snape's lives harder, since it was important for them to relay any information from the Dark Lord to me.

"I need to give this to someone, so they can take it to Dumbledore," Draco continued, holding out a box with an opal necklace laying inside on velvet fabric. Reaching out to touch it, he yanked the box back. "It's lethally cursed, Ray. Don't touch it." I sighed, leaning back in the green armchair in the Slytherin common room, folding my arms.

"Anyways, Snape and I were thinking that could leave it in the girls bathroom, wait behind the door, and-"

I knew where this was going. "- use the Imperius curse on the first girl that comes in and make her take the necklace to Dumbledore?" I finished. He nodded. They'd tried to make me use an Unforgivable before, but it was something I heavily disagreed with, since all three were used in the massacre of my family and my boyfriend's. "I told you two before, I'm not using the Imperius curse on anyone," I snapped angrily.

Draco sighed, slumping down into his seat, defeated. Frustrated tears welled up in his eyes, and he leaned back to stare at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. A pang of regret struck me hard; he had so much burdened on him right now; I couldn't be heartless and make that worse for him.

"Alright, Draco, I'll do it. But only this once. I'm not using another Unforgivable as long as I live," I swore. Giving me a grateful smile, he stood up, setting the box that held the necklace down the end table next to us. He pulled me up to stand with him, and the second I was standing, he wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder. I hugged him back awkwardly as he began to sob.

"Ray, it's not working! I can't get the damn Cabinet to work! I don't wanna die!" he cried, his voice muffled in the cloak I wore. "He's going to kill Mom, he's going to kill me!"

Something inside me snapped, and I hugged him close. I was taller than him by a few inches, and I was a year ahead of him, and in that moment, he reminded me of my little brother, crying when our parents expected him to do something that he just wasn't capable of doing.

Tears leaked out of my eyes as we stood there, just comforting one another. The Dark Lord had punished us by forcing us to do a nearly impossible task, and now it was cracking down on us. I had refused to join Voldemort willingly, so he murdered my boyfriend and his family, and when I still refused, he murdered my own family, forcing to kill me if I didn't join, which is when I broke and joined the Death Eaters. The Dark Lord wasn't satisfied, however, and made me help Draco with his task to kill Dumbledore, which had been given to him as punishment because his father failed in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries last summer.

I suddenly realized what I was doing. I was letting him in. I was allowing myself to care for Draco. No. Ripping away from the blonde-haired boy, I quickly paced back to my dorm, which was empty at the time, since the rest of the girls in my year were up in Herbology.

Wringing my hands, I sat down on my bed, leaning against the wall. I'd never been good at Occlumency, and so to prevent Voldemort from being able to hurt anyone else close to me, I didn't let anyone get close to me. My heart sank to my stomach as the thought of Draco being tortured by the Dark Lord flashed through my mind.

I put my head in my hands. How am I going to do this, I can't just ignore Draco, I have to complete the task the Dark Lord has put upon us. Opening my eyes, I looked down at the Dark Mark that was imprinted onto my left forearm. I sighed and sat back up.

I had to make a decision. Disobey the Dark Lord, which would ultimately get both Draco and I killed, or complete the task, which would mean I'd have to get close to Draco, but it would keep us alive - for now.

Slowly, I reentered the common room, scanning the room for Draco. He sat alone in the corner, staring at the opal necklace that rested in the box in his lap. Sucking in a breath, I walked over to him and sat down in the seat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Draco," I whispered, curling up in the seat, pulling my knees up to my chin and wrapping my arms around my legs.

"Why did you leave?" his tone was sharp, but he sounded hurt, which I could understand.

"I-I'm scared, honestly," I began.

Draco cut me off, "I am as well, Ray, but -"

"No, please, listen." My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat before starting again. "After what happened, with Thomas and my mom and dad and all of them, I didn't want to care for anyone. Because the more you have, the more you have to lose. I don't want to lose you, Draco."

He turned to look at me, sadness in his silver eyes. "I don't want to lose you either, Ray. You're like my big sister. I love you."

At that, I cracked a smile, and began to feel the walls built up inside crumble and fall. "I love you too, Draco. But the only way we're going to both get out of this is if we succeed in this mission the Dark Lord has given us."

The air turned cold as Draco sat up straight, nodding, all-business once more. "Right. And to do that, we need to get this to Dumbledore, so we can focus on the Vanishing Cabinet."

The next several hours were spent talking and planning out what was needed to be done to survive, to make sure our task of killing Dumbledore and letting Death Eaters into Hogwarts succeeded. It didn't matter that we were doing what the Dark Lord desired, this was for us. It was about Draco and his mother and I, getting out of this alive.

I realized that was what love what in that moment. It wasn't just a feeling of elation or happiness around someone, it was a protective barrier that you wouldn't allow anyone to break into. You would do anything for the ones you loved. It's not about never letting anyone in so you don't lose them, it's about fighting to keep the ones you have.

And it's sad to think that it took that long for me to understand that.

[1305 words]